"Ayn Rand did well. I guess the people voting for her wouldn't have like that South Park episode about the Chicken-F**ker. Anyone know what I'm talking about? Anyone?"

Of course, Frank. RIP book-mobile guy.

One of my favorite episodes.

So if you become a famous novelist you will stop talking to us. Hmmm, I guess that means we should not buy you books.

But the down side of that us you will become a failed novelist, blame us for not buying your books, and then stop talking to us.

We're screwed either way.

In one scenario, you get a book at least.

You will respect my authority!

"Authori-tah", Earl.

(rolls eyes)

WWJD? Blow 'em straight to hell with the breathe of his nostrils, then have a good laugh (it's all in the Book).

Good to see that imminent fame is not going to your head, Frank. Watch what you sign, don't trust you're business agent as far as you can throw him, clear it with a third party disinterested lawyer, and realize there are no "standard industry contracts". Ask me how I know...

God bless your literary efforts.

You got me, Bilbus; how do you know?

A book? What am I supposed to do with that? Oh sure if you have a wobbly table you can stick it under the short leg or maybe sit on it so that you can see over the steering wheel in the car. But other than that it isn't much use to me.

I think John Kusch hates Bush because all those of his pursuasion hate "bush" if you know what I mean. Plus, our guy looks better in a flight suit than his guy looks in a wet suit. I guess his site is for a certain part of the population who cannot look past their own picadillos to make an intelligent decision.

so, once you become a famous novelist, you'll go mad... with power?

I have noted your plug and will have my people get your book off to you as soon as I get your address (which I promise not to share with your enemies, unless they send a really attractive woman to wheedle it out of me). I note, however, that none of my books is on the list chosen by right-of-center bloggers. Now I'm deeply depressed. And Ann Coulter still isn't returning my calls...

Hey, somebody forgot Lucifer's Hammer by Jerry Pournelle and Larry Niven.

I would buy your book, oh Frank the strong and manly, but alas! my pockets are empty of monies. I am but a poor college student, trying to scrape up enough funds for textbooks next semester. 'Sides, I'm working on my own novels, and I can't have Frank be too successful and keep me out of the market. *evil grin*

Lars,
I'll send you out an e-mail when I get home tonight. I just got it this morning and didn't have time to respond.

Please step out of the car, sir.

Interesting that you automatically assume that President Clinton lied, rather than a Prime Minister who lied to both his constituents and the United States to start a war.

>So, if a suicide bomber is rushing in on a >truck, what would Jesus do? I think he'd jump on >the hood while firing through the windshield >with his .44 magnum.

Actually, I'm pretty sure he'd call in some lightning to smite the dude, but that's just me.

Frank, I think Jesus would turn the whiners into water.

You should try to publish part of your essays on the blogging network and get paid for it, so you could correct your style, and keep the best for your novels. There are 5.95$ per month fee, but it is only charged when you do not get enough visitors to get paid. It's a good experience to improve a style and a story, an it can be a good reference to negociate a contract.

Big publishers are always bad payers. Small publishers usually ask for fees, but you get better results from it. With blogging network, if your readers only read you, their monthly fees are all for you (one single reader pays all your own fees). This means that long stories, not long enough to become books could be published in here, twice or once a month for the training in correcting your style. You can see also if your book is able to be sold, who are your readers, and what they expect from you when having to pay. The fact of the fees, make their exigence different than an ordinary blog. You probably have to work on that.

If I hadn't gotten my actual ass actually beaten in school by actual assholes like yourselves, this virtual hail of virtual spitballs (not to mention the copious bytes of hard drive space permanently defiled by various cut-and-paste actions from various right-wing repositories of previous cut-and-paste actions) might actually make me feel something other than bored. But let me throw you a bone (heh, the gay guy said BONE):

"Oh, you conservative meanies! You won't just let me hate Bush like I want to, even though I don't even know WHY! Argh! You people are . . . you're BASTARD PEOPLE, is what you are! You're all HITLER! I'm gonna go home and bite my pillow, is what I'm gonna do! And stare at my pictures of Justin Timberlake!"

Happy? Now back to your regulary-scheduled sausage party.

P.S. -- if you get a book deal I'll buy it, just to help transition you from the Web.

John, that last post just reeked of intellect and reasoning. Oh, I still don't get why a gay man has a problem with sausage parties.

I find it amusing that there isn't a soul who has risen up to the defense of the little pansy. are they all scared of the angry gun-owners?

What the fuck does being gay have to do with anything? Insecure much?

It was just supposed to be the harmless labeling of someone as a muckadoo and now it's gone completely out of control!

I like muckadoos. Tastes just like chicken. Or was that mugwump that I'm thinking of?

Demise, if you're referring to my question, it has nothing to do with anything, I just wondering out loud. I know I wouldn't have a problem with 30 chicks hanging "around my keg". Damn some people just have to find a fight in everything. If your looking for gay-bashing, you're in the wrong place.

Jim,

You sure you're not thinking of a Mogwai?

Actually, Boogs, I wasn't. I was referring to John bringing it up. No one had said anything about anyone being gay. It was kind of a non-sequitur, thus my comment.

Poor people tend to live in clusters

A lifetime ago, a successful music career, a manager gone south (with my money), the record company gone south (with my money), the publisher gone south (with my money), end of career (broke without my money), schooling as a paralegal to find out how they ripped me off, and, boy, how they can rip you off, all legal like, signed and sealed. I went to the Caymans to find the one guy, but he changed must've changed his name (no joking).

The sharks can write virtually anything into a contract they want, and, if written properly, the courts will back them up, morality aside. Spend the bucks on a lawyer who understands publishing law before you sign anything, and don't go to the lawyer the publisher refers you to.

Watch what you sign...

Yeah, ok. I'll bite. Why is it that Europeans are contributing to not killing the bad guys?

You know. So I can spread it around the office tomorrow.

This is some funny stuff!

"Not really feeling shut down per se, but also not interested in giving pampered right-wingers a place where they can hold a sausage party around my keg."
John Kusch

"I don't get it, why would a gay man have a problem with a sausage party around his keg?"
Boogs

Oh man, that one was classic! :)

Ah, sorry about the misunderstanding of your who your post was addressed to, Demise. That was during a lul between my 5th and 6th cup of Joe!

Ah, sorry about the misunderstanding of your who your post was addressed to, Demise. That was during a lul between my 5th and 6th cup of Joe!

Ah, sorry about the misunderstanding of your who your post was addressed to, Demise. That was during a lul between my 5th and 6th cup of Joe!

Ah, sorry about the misunderstanding of your who your post was addressed to, Demise. That was during a lul between my 7th and 8th cup of Joe!

Ah, sorry about the misunderstanding of your who your post was addressed to, Demise. That was during a lul between my 15th and 22nd cup of Joe!

Ha ha ha- we get the point!!!!! :)

Hey, the muckadoo is apparently very upset at his being recognized as such. In his comments he wrote this:

The gay part didn't bother me. If I were insecure about my sexuality, I'd be trying to get your approval, which I don't need. You'll notice that I didn't take issue with IMAO's stance on sexuality (I don't even know what it is) -- I took issue with his hackneyed path-of-least-resistance approach to satirizing liberals. The word that Frank told you to call me is the issue. You know the word. I won't help bolster his Google hits with it.
[ John Kusch | web | 10/28/03 03:59pm ]

The left's collective sense of humor is as flat as month-old Coke. He's so afraid to be called a muckadoo, he's actually gone to the trouble of deleting every single post with the word "muckadoo" in it. He's knocked off three of mine so far. Number four should be coming down any time now.

;)

Bastard People?

You'll rarely win a political debate by quoting Waiting For Guffman. Unless, that is, that you also hate our ass-faces.

But since you're gay... I somehow doubt it.

Aaaaaaaawwww.... well, this explains why I didn't see anyone else calling our Mr. Kusch a muckadoo. Deleting the posts; what a maroon! And here Frank's getting his hit numbers up and all. I bet he's *never* had this much traffic!

And why would he object to being called a totally made up word? A word that whas made up *just* for him, in fact!

And what's with the gayness thing? What's that got to do with the price of tea in China, or muckadoo-ness, for that matter? Sheesh.

Hey, I didn't make it up just for him. It's a general term I made up for unthinking liberals. I should probably post on the term.

...or copyright it, Frank.

"The word that Frank told you to call me is the issue. You know the word. I won't help bolster his Google hits with it."

D' ya suppose if you say muckadoo enough times, Geldon and the Knights of Standards and Practices will appear?

I don't think Jesus would shoot a .44 He always struck me as an semi-auto type of guy maybe in a .45, after all, it's placement that counts. With him being around from the begining of the universe I would think he has had time to practice a bit more then the average shooter.
This begs to question: What Would Jesus Shoot?
Besides if he needed anything really big he could call for backup ;-)

John Kusch, assuming you're still reading this and haven't retreated to your ghost-town of a blog, a couple of points:

First, I wasn't aware it was even possible to have a sense of humor surgically removed, but you've proven me wrong. Frank writes satire. You might not like it, you might think he's picking on po' wittle weftists, but it's all in good fun. The fact that you take it so damned seriously indicates a serious character flaw, the kind usually associated with canibalistic serial killers.

Second, your blog is boring. I mean, whether or not I agree with the politics involved or not (I don't), you are DULL.

Third, well, there is no third.

So, if a suicide bomber is rushing in on a truck, what would Jesus do? I think he'd jump on the hood while firing through the windshield with his .44 magnum.

That's easy.. he'd hold up his hand.. and the truck would come to a complete stand still and then all the extra bullets would come to a stop.. and then Jesus would take off his sunglasses and jump right into the terrorist and make him explode...

Oh wait... that's that Keanu movie thing ain't it?

The chicken "effer" was a hippie smelly hippie.

Otto,

He had a humorectomy?

Sheesh.....

MonkeyPants
Imperial Lizardoid Trainer

Jesus would use a mini-gun, I bet that he is as strong as Jesse "the body." If he used yellow or white phosphorous in the tracer rounds it could look a little like lighting, well maybe more like a laser, oh well.

Just posted to the Muckado's site. Should beinteresting to see how much time he's willing to spend deleting the comment. What a thought-police wanker.

Jesus would have the Mother of All Slings ala David and Goliath. And he could throw at the speed of light so the truck terrorist would be dead before he even turned the key.

Still no mention of my new digitally remastered director's cut of your video.

I may have to self publish.

And, I can't be held responsible if, by self publishing, some of the high quality production values are lost...

I believe Mr. Kusch is a victim of what humor scientist Dave Barry came to term "humor impairment" after a variety of experiments involving exposing a wide variety of humans to humorous yet clearly incorrect statements such as "The capital of North Dakota is Pierre," and receiving angry letters demanding retraction in response. We should not attack Mr. Kusch, but pity him, for science has not yet developed a cure for humor impairment. We can only pray that before he is too far gone a way will be found to reintroduce him to the wonderful world of laughter the rest of us enjoy.

Blaster,
It had production values?

Yes, and it would be a terrible thing if they were lost....

What they say:

"You have no sense of humor!"

What they mean:

"Why don't you think I'm funny?"

Hearing that my site is dull is a lot like hearing that I'd be really hot if I lost like 20 pounds or so (something I've heard more than once). My response at the time was, "If a few extra pounds keeps people like you away from me, then gimme that Twinky(tm)."

I don't know how some of you do with the whole comparison and parallel and metaphor thing, but what I'm saying is: if you think my site sucks, then I'm doing something right!"

I actually allowed a few "muckadoo" comments, but I've got standards, people. My site might be dull and humorless to people of your wit and sensitivity, but it isn't a bathroom stall, either.

Now where was that Ann Coulter doll? Maybe *she'll* find my prostate.

Johnny, you muckadoo,

When we say you have no sense of humor, we MEAN you have no sense of humor. And sometimes, just sometimes, when someone tells you your site sucks and is boring, it's because it really does suck and really is boring.

I agree, though, that your site isn't a bathroom stall.

People read bathroom stalls.

* So, if a suicide bomber is rushing in on a truck, what would Jesus do? I think he'd jump on the hood while firing through the windshield with his .44 magnum.

What would Jesus do? Fire and Brimstone, baby! He'd take out the terrorist's entire neighborhood too. See Genesis, chapter 19. One of the perks of being the Lord is the ability to be VERY indiscriminate in the exercise of One's holy wrath. Bystanders even end up as saltshakers.

Thanks for proving my point, muckadoo.

Frank: I'm ever-so-sorry I forgot about the origin of "muckadoo" -- if I promise to go study the back-chapters again, will you let me stay? Please please please???

Our Mr. Kusch came back for more attention and stated: "My site might be dull and humorless to people of your wit and sensitivity..."

Ummm... well, actually, we realize you're not trying to be humorous. Or, at least, we sure HOPE you're not trying to be humorous. That said, your site is dull and boring. And I'm not saying that as a rabid right-winger -- at the risk of being excommunicated from IMAO, I'm more of a slightly left of center libertarian.

So. Thhhhbbbbtttttt.... your site is dull.

Frank, since you're the resident muckadoo expert, can you explain the difference between a muckadoo and a troll? I've banned trolls from my site, but don't want muckadoos to take advantage of any loopholes to perform unspeakable acts of infiltration.;)

You'll be hearing from my lawyers about this blatant trademark infringement.

"Ah, sorry about the misunderstanding of your who your post was addressed to, Demise. That was during a lul between my 15th and 22nd cup of Joe!"

Err..apologies accepted? ;)

'Eee's having a 'issie over Muckadoo? (00)

Kewl. You guys should be able to keep him hopping busy forever deleting comments.

" but what I'm saying is: if you think my site sucks, then I'm doing something right!" - John Kusch

Noooo.... means you're doing something boring.

My infringement lawyers can beat up your infringement lawyers Mike, and Frank's too.

(sword raised) Have at you!

Yeeuw leetle tyenee Amerrigonz! I peese on yer! I am zee awnlee Muckadeux!

RUN AWAY!

Is it just me, or does John Kusch inject just a little too much personal information in his comments?

Well, you could go over to Mr Kusch's blog and read all of my timely, pithy, and reasoned comments, but for the fact he has deleted them all. Pity, they should have been archived in the Smithsonian. Besides, I don't think Kusch is really gay...he just identifies as one so he can vicariously belong to at least some sort of group.

Are you saying he has joined Howard Dean in metrosexuality?

"Metrosexuality"? Does that mean he has the hots for Spider Jerusalem?

whenever I read something of this Web I learn some thing...

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