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October 30, 2003
The Bill Clinton Presidency (Based on a True Story)
I heard about how a bunch of liberals have this movie about Reagan's presidency coming out where they make stuff up, so, I was thinking, why don't I write the script for a fair and balanced movie about Bill Clinton's presidency where I just do a little extrapolation about things I don't know about for sure. Here are some excerpts of what I have so far: BILL CLINTON: Master Satan! I need your help to become president and thus allow Hillary and I to fulfill our naked ambition for power. I only have gotten his first four years done so far. I just hope I've accurately portrayed the subtle nuances of Bill and Hillary Clinton. 29 Responses To "The Bill Clinton Presidency (Based on a True Story)"
TO: All ...there a publisher in the house? How about an independent film maker? Chuck(le) #1 - Posted by: Chuck Pelto on October 30, 2003 08:45 AMLMFAO ::goes to find paper towels to clean up the m&ms mess on her monitor:: Ummm, when you say *Hillary proceeds to blow the hell out of Vince...* do you mean like Monica does or like Dirty Harry does? #3 - Posted by: vegesigo on October 30, 2003 08:47 AMClarified. That part was actually a big cut and paste... #4 - Posted by: Frank J. on October 30, 2003 09:00 AMagh! close the italics tag!! #5 - Posted by: spork on October 30, 2003 09:01 AMHillary was a lesbian? Wouldn't that imply that she was a woman? #6 - Posted by: LibertyBob on October 30, 2003 09:11 AMTO: LibertyBob With those ankles? Chuck(le) #7 - Posted by: on October 30, 2003 10:15 AMHILLARY: Fine, I'll dig the f**king hole. I don't give a f**k. What is it, the first hole I dug? First time I dug a hole, I'll dig a f**kin' hole. Now, where are the shovels? I'd never really thought of Joe Pesci and Hillary Clinton as having similar problem solving skills. As always Frank, you shine the light of truth on that which is hidden. #8 - Posted by: Mike the Marine on October 30, 2003 10:22 AMWhy did you have to remind me of the Clinton years? WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? You should be shot for that one buddy. I successfully convinced myself it was all a bad dream and then some I.T. guy, or what ever the hell you are, has to remind me. Boo Hoo. I'm sorry, you did it for a good cause I suppose. It's just that I can remember the day Bush Sr. lost and that SHIT PIG became the leader of, what was then, the free world. I was in eighth grade and at the beginning of a long hard struggle with drugs. But I still knew that that piece of miscarriage was not fit to be my president. Four years later, I was in the process of recovering from my own personal dance with Satan(my drug addiction)when Clinton won again. I was young and very new to actualy thinking about important things. But one thing was sure; alot of little babys were going to die. Hey, that's what demoncraps do. Frank, I forgive you for offending me. Go in peace. #9 - Posted by: C.Romansky on October 30, 2003 10:28 AMI fear the second four years may be even worse. I've heard rumors that the Clinton family dog, Buddy, may have been Chomps' ne'er-do-well father. Clinton sells his soul to Satan and his most famous sexual act is a blow job from some fat chick named Monica, is still married to Hillary, had to hang around Al Gore, managed to lose both houses of the legislature to the Republicans, has seen about every Democrat politician that he has backed recently go into the tank or under the bus. Are you sure the Devil wasn't Rush Limbaugh in disguise? #11 - Posted by: toad on October 30, 2003 10:54 AMI presume that (v.o.) means voice-over. Wouldn't (s.v) work better(sotto voce)? #12 - Posted by: Pedant on October 30, 2003 11:05 AMLMAO one for the books frank #13 - Posted by: UZI4U on October 30, 2003 11:09 AMLMAO. But wait!! This should not be so funny. It really happened didn't it!!??!!? Unlike the Reagan movie this is filled with factual events. Classic. Way to go!! #14 - Posted by: mctr on October 30, 2003 11:38 AMThe Goodfellas parody was absolutely classic #15 - Posted by: WAL on October 30, 2003 12:06 PMHillary is a lesbian? That can't be! I know she isn't a lesbian because there just aren't ANY lesbians that graduated from Wellesley College. What? #16 - Posted by: Blackfive on October 30, 2003 12:17 PMWAL, Master Satan! I need your help to become president and thus allow Hillary and I to fulfill our naked ambition for power. Frank...if you ever use the word "naked" and/or Bill/Hillary in the same sentence again, I will fling poo on your favorite shirt and gouge out my eyes! #18 - Posted by: Darth Monkeybone on October 30, 2003 12:59 PMOMG! The Earl (Janet) Reno bit had me rolling. I could just see it. Excellent. And funny too. #19 - Posted by: Black Oak on October 30, 2003 01:55 PMDoes Earl bear any resemblance to Will Ferrell? #20 - Posted by: jonag on October 30, 2003 02:11 PMYou know, Frnak, it is too bad that you changed "Hillary proceeds to blow the hell out of Vince..." to "Hillary proceeds to pull out a gun and shoot Vince". I bet that the original way would have made for a more interesting discussion. I should not have said anything. #21 - Posted by: vegesigo on October 30, 2003 02:38 PMYou just blew away my presupposition that Hillary was, herself, the devil. This devil guy must be even worse than we imagined. #22 - Posted by: Biblus on October 30, 2003 03:39 PMI think of it this way because it pleases me: Hillary is not the devil.... but she is a puppet of the devil. Because, if this is true... then she not only gets used by the people around her... but also by the devil himself. A metaphorical "whoring" of her soul to the devil... how appropriate. This also explains why she HAS to put up with Bill's whoring (because she is guilty of it too... only on a spiritual level.) I think that this explanation best fits what actually transpires and can most accurately predict what will happen with/around/because of Hillary. Ohhhh, so if Bill and Hillary go to hell their punsihment is they are still married to each other. Possibly handcuffed together. #24 - Posted by: toad on October 30, 2003 08:35 PMToad, this little skit gave me flashbacks because it's so true-to-life. For someone who sold his soul to the devil, Slick Willie got a shabby deal because he was applying the same negotiating skills that pacified North Korea and struck a deal with that perennial candidate for the headsman's axe, Yassir Arafat./irony #25 - Posted by: Bloodthirsty Warmonger on October 31, 2003 02:20 AMExcellent post, Frnak. #26 - Posted by: on October 31, 2003 02:24 AMI just reread my post and it sounds insulting. I should have wrote "made for a EVEN more interesting discussion". Sorry if I made it sound like you all were boring. #27 - Posted by: vegesigo on October 31, 2003 01:11 PMDon't forget the final scene where 200 angry bimbos and jilted interns are storming up the main stairs at the White House. Bubba steps out onto the balcony with his pants around his ankles, screaming "SAY HELLO TO MY LEETLE FRIEND!" Post a comment
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