|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy! ![]() Buy funniest book ever! ![]() IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
![]() Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits ![]() Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck ![]() This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
November 11, 2003
Bite-Sized Wisdom: Gitmo, Don't Mess with Abizaid, Gore-bot Speaks, Fed Ex, and Veteran's Day
* The Supreme Court is to hear about Gitmo detainees. Some people are worried that innocent people may be being detained at Guantanamo, but have you ever heard of innocent people hanging out with terrorists in Cuba? * General Abizaid, are own Mad Arab, warns that attacks must stop in Iraq or he will kick everyone's asses. He was like, "You think you can f**k with America? Do you know who the f**k we are? We can inflict so much pain and suffering on you, that you will let out a sigh of relief when you finally die and go to hell. I'm General Abizaid! You will pray to your god for death, and he will not answer!" Actually, I don't know what he said, but I bet that's what Patton would say (except for that part where he calls himself "General Abizaid"). I miss Patton. * There is no evidence Iran is making nukes. Good. Less to worry about when we invade them. * Seen the new video of Gore Gone Wild? He's claiming that Bush used 9/11 as a pretext to consolidate power and then threw a bunch of red meat (or is the better expression "white tofu"?) to MoveOn.org muckadoos. What a whiner. I'm glad we stole the election. * The U.N. wants to take our internet. The internet is owned by America! Americans created it, and an American invented it (Al Gore), so it is ours. Other countries should feel lucky that we let them use our world wide information network. I say as punishment the term "United Nations" should be forever banned from the internet. So let it be written, so let it be done. * Fed Ex found body parts in a package and alerted the police. Lessons learned: if you're going to chop someone up and ship him, don't do it through Fed Ex because they’re a bunch of dirty squealers. Instead, use UPS; they bruise and batter your package so bad, that, if the police get their hands on it, they won't even be able to identify the body inside by its dental records. * 26 Democrats want Rumsfeld fired. Rumsfeld wants 26 Democrats strangled. More news as it develops. * BTW, Rumsfeld was on Fox and Friends this morning. Anyone catch it? Was he just like I envisioned? * Democrat booster Larry Flynt plans to publish topless photos of Jessica Lynch. The guy has to wheel by a flight of stairs every so often, and just one little push... not that I'm suggesting anything! * So, now you're wondering what's happening in monkey news. Well, Canada is going to infect some with SARS. What if the monkeys combine it, though, with their dreaded monkey pox? They'd have a supervirus fit for wiping out humanity! If Canada causes the planet of the apes, we are so going to beat those canucks up. * Today is Veteran's day, and I want to say thanks to all the Veteran's out there and take time to remember those who've died fighting for this country, something especially relevant now. I also want to wish a happy birthday to my older brother, Joe foo' the Marine. Veterans, you kick ass. 29 Responses To "Bite-Sized Wisdom: Gitmo, Don't Mess with Abizaid, Gore-bot Speaks, Fed Ex, and Veteran's Day"
First, thanks to the Veterans who have kept our country free. I'd join, but a) I don't believe women should fight, and b) I doubt I could physically handle it. Stupid joint pain. #4 - Posted by: Joanna (formerly Minstrel) on November 11, 2003 09:38 AMJoanna, you shouldn't fight. Stay home and have babies.... #5 - Posted by: billhedrick on November 11, 2003 10:06 AMAs a veteran: you're welcome. Frank - your comedy stylings are what I was fighting for. Although technically, I did more floating than actual fighting. And what I did to foreigners isn't normally referred to as "killing", although I suppose I've heard wackier euphemisms. #6 - Posted by: Harvey on November 11, 2003 10:09 AMUmm, I read that Flint only bought them to keep them from being published. And for the record, I like his magazine, not his politics. Yeah for the veterans. I've called all the ones I know already (well, one called me). I've known some chicks that could kill real good. And they popped out good babies too. And playing video games prepares you for "Modern Combat" - consider that a lot of the killing is done using a computer. Well, except the firing of the gun part. Or the knifing across the throat part. But still, "The Media"(r) tell us that playing Doom insensitizes us to killing. So it's good that our future Veterans become accustomed to killing through Doom(c) so when they go to foreign countries and kill foreigners, there won't be any "adjustment period". LOL "Gore Gone Wild"? Wasn't Jenna Jameson in that one? Can we have a contest to re-name the Un-tied Nations for internet usage? Commmon... I wanna contest! They we can vote on it with your little voting thingamajiggy... Come ON, ya know ya wanna... Jewels (who was really glad when Rumsfield didn't strangle the weather guy this morning)
Hey, LibertyBob, I appreciate the sentiment. But this vet can't think of a better way to spend an afternoon than drinking and playing Medal of Honor - nothing beats killing Nazis and drinking beer! #9 - Posted by: Blackfive on November 11, 2003 10:43 AMhave you ever heard of innocent people hanging out with terrorists in Cuba? Yes. They're called Cubans. #10 - Posted by: Joseph J. Finn on November 11, 2003 10:54 AMThis is precious: "Poorer nations such as Brazil, India, South Africa, China and Saudi Arabia, as well as some richer ones, are growing dissatisfied with the workings of California-based Icann..." Saudi Arabia poor!!!! If they are considered poor, then I guess Al Gore really did invent the Internet. But seriously folks, it looks like the "poor" nations of the world have taken a que from the democrats with this new level of whinning about everything. It seems to me that if they don't like how we, the inventors of the Internet, like the way it's run, let them go and invent their own damn Internet. And while I'm at it, screw Flanders and screw Al Gore! //Kurt #11 - Posted by: Kurt on November 11, 2003 11:31 AM I miss Patton too. He was such a badass, and it must in the Patton family blood. His son was an armored cavalry regiment (ACR) in Viet Nam, and he was a awesome. Someone should hack the UN's server. Whee. #13 - Posted by: the nothing on November 11, 2003 01:02 PMJust a note: Patton Kicked Ass, no question, period, end of story, that's all she wrote. *There's a book titled "General Patton's Principles", that is written by a soldier that served under him throughout the war. If you are curious about Patton, or already a fan, you should check it out. "The world is filled with good men, but the ground shakes beneath great men." Charlie Rangel (D-NY) says: "This resolution would make official what so many members of Congress already believe -- that the soldiers in Iraq and America's foreign policy would be helped greatly if Donald Rumsfeld would leave." I think our soldiers in Iraq and America's foreign policy would be helped greatly if Charlie Rangel would leave. #15 - Posted by: Joshua Chamberlain on November 11, 2003 02:50 PMThere are women who serve or have served in the armed forces that can kick some of the male's asses so let's not go there today. Frank: Basic Training IS hard but it's rewarding. Anyway, I like the idea of the UN never being mentioned again, EVER. #16 - Posted by: Serenity on November 11, 2003 03:08 PMAs far as video games go... There are those of us that would like nothing more than to hunt Muslim extremists, but have medical conditions that prevent us from being deemed 'useful' by the military. And so, we are relegated to killing them in games like the Desert Combat mod for Battlefield 1942 (which kicks a**), and putting signs in the front yard that say 'Muslim Extremists - Free Burkas Inside' in the hopes that we can shoot them in 'self defense'. #17 - Posted by: Cpt.Dysentery on November 11, 2003 03:33 PMHappy Veteran's Day to all, and a HUGE thanks to all those who risked their lives to preserve our great nation's freedom. In response to LibertyBob, I would join the armed forces myself, except I think someone's gotta stay home to keep the house neat and have a good meal waiting for our men when they return home from for'ner killing. Oh yea, I miss Patton too! #18 - Posted by: Mackynzie on November 11, 2003 04:43 PMWhile Rummy was been interviwed by ED I kept getting images of Rummy back slapping her!!LOL #19 - Posted by: Rey on November 11, 2003 05:22 PMSorry about the rant on joining the military. I've tried to stay in the habbit because we have quite a few locals in the eighteen to twenty four range who complain about not having jobs and like to sleep all day. I know our local economy, near a major Rockwell International plant, would benefit greatly if we could get many of our more shiftless people motivated marine boot camp style. #20 - Posted by: LibertyBob on November 11, 2003 05:43 PMThanks to *our* Veterans, we don't have to be concerned about "acceptable boundaries to freedom of expression," an oxymoron if I ever heard one! The UN needs to stick with handing out food and medicine, and leave the defending of liberties to those who know what it's all about. And maybe we could just let the "inventer" of the internet take over running it. ~snort~ Give him something useful to do with his life... lock him in a supercooled sub-basement with lots of humming machines and a monitor with cryptic symbols scrolling endlessly, and tell him he's got to keep the WWW safe! Bwaaaa haaaa haaaaaa! #21 - Posted by: jean on November 11, 2003 05:57 PMFWIW, Larry Flynt didn't publish the photos because he would have been nailed to the wall in court. See this for details. #22 - Posted by: Mr. Quibbler on November 12, 2003 01:24 PMBeing at Berkeley, I just want to thank you for your inspirational comments- it reminds me after a hard day of bum-beating and liberal-bashing that there are sane people out there! Flynt is a bowlfloater. A leftist bowlfloater at that. Sorry for the redundancy #24 - Posted by: alfredo stroessner on November 12, 2003 09:19 PMFUCK THE UN! THEY SHOULD BE TERMINATED ASAP! #25 - Posted by: Miguel on November 13, 2003 06:47 AMMonkey Pox actually come from Prairie Dogs. #26 - Posted by: Fred on November 22, 2003 12:31 AMI noted an ad for Stolen Valor at the top of the page. Certainly few of us would re-live the sixties. Though many of us might change what we did during those crazy years. I suggest we often use the word Patriotism a bit flippantly. It may be shown by waving a flag, supporting the President or by wearing the uniform but true patriotism is far more complex than that. It means that each of us, as individuals, a part of WE THE PEOPLE, must bear the enormous responsibility of guiding as well as following those we've chosen to lead. There is one fact tht remains clear in my mind. It keeps me up at times. IF we had all listened to the youthful, deliberate and politically incorrect Kerry in 1970-71, there would be more than ten thousand men and women able to vote this year. If we had listened to him just a few short years ago, there would be more than a thousand able to cast a vote in this election. When I look into the mirror, I wonder, "Was I a patriot or just a soldier then? And now, am I willing to act courageously or join those paper patriots that decorate their homes under a flag so many died for? #27 - Posted by: Steven on October 21, 2004 11:00 PMPost a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts
![]()
![]()
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|