I don't know, I take his entry as proof that blog humor is as hit-and-miss as any humor. Even the best comedians are only really funny some of the time, just funny a lot of the time, and unfunny occasionally.

But muckadoos? They're never funny.

Speaking of occasionally funny comedians I saw your Democratic leadership hopeful John Kerry on television yesterday (I haven't seen much of him because being Canadian the whole primary process doesn't have a lot of interest to me).

It seemed to me that he sounded a lot like Jerry Seinfeld. Does anyone else find that? Or did I not hear him correctly?

Are you sure that wasn't who you were actually watching?

Perhaps the Democrats would actually get somewhere if they put Seinfeld on the ballot.

Guess I should have hit reload before buying that t-shirt. Still, it's a nice t-shirt and there's next month's cable bill.

Are you crazy, Big Dog? What would happen is we actually elected a Jooooo to the Presidancy? Imagine the repercussions among the Arab world. I do admit, though, he'd have a great State of the Union/Inagaural Address

"What's the deal with these inagural addresses? Come on people, I've been talking for a full year of campaigning; why in the world do you expect me to have anything left to say?"

And what's the deal with these things on the end of my shoelaces? Do they even have a name?"

There; that's my Seinfeld impression.

Thrash and thrash alike.

I love it when blog wars start up. Next you'll have him destroyed in an upcoming post, and he'll compare him to some talentless hack from the bowels of the 19th century and I'll sit on the sides and

laugh. I think you're BOTH funny.

Frank
I went there. I read. Just another muckadoo with his head up his own ass trying to find daylight.
Travel on, good soldier.

Frank: See, I was sure that was your John Kerry impression until you clarified it at the end.

I wrote this because I was bored and now I will post it here because I feel like it! It has nothing to do with your post, or site, or anything. But you're going to like it!

25 reasons why George W Bush as the kids today say....

SUCKS!

1. It's called a dictionary stupid!

Bush constantly says he is working to make America more safe and secure. Yet this makes no sense since the meanings of the words safe and secure are the same thing!

2. It's all about the black gold.

Bush sometimes makes trips using the airplane Air Force One. AF1 has to use OIL to fly. Since Bush has to use OIL to make trips this clearly shows he is a slave to BIG BUSINESS and RONALD MCDONALD.

3. All hail him!

Based on the fact that during his 3 years as president Bush has done nothing to stop free press, done nothing to stop dissidents from publicly criticizing him, and takes daily beatings from his political opposition he is clearly a DICTATOR.

4. Who cares about them?

In mid 2003 Bush passed and signed a bill that sends about 300 million dollars to poor countries in Africa to help stop the spread of aids. It was clearly done just to get their OIL.

5. More powerful then you know.

For the last two days I couldn't find my socks. This is clearly the fault of Bush.

6. It's all about the party.

Last week Bush pulled out his own chair before sitting in it at a lunch meeting. That is the hidden signal that shows he is part of the REPUBLICAN party and that the symbol of the elephant will rule the sweat glands of 3 month year old babies by allowing people to buy GUNS. It also shows he is a slave to RONALD MCDONALD.

7. It's not a coincidence.

Whenever Bush is in public he is always seen wearing PANTS. Hitler also wore pants whenever in public. Obviously a clear link between the two.

8. What a monster!

Despite having the worlds most powerful military under his command Bush sat back and did NOTHING for two years while millions of poor Iraqi's suffered under the tyranny of Saddam Hussien killing thousands.

9. What a monster part 2

In March of 2003 Bush invaded Iraq to topple Saddam Hussien killing thousands.

10. What a monster part 3

Bush plans to soon have a sovereign Iraqi government in place so free elections can be held in Iraq for the first time in history killing thousands.

11. How stupid is he?

Bush thinks the United States can rebuild Iraq into a free prospering democracy despite the US having a bad track record of attempting this like with Japan and West Germany.

12. What a monster part 4

During the toppling of the Taliban regime in Afghanistan Bush dropped tons of food by air to starving people but didn't include GATORADE for people to wash it down.

13. Hidden agenda.

Bush signed a reform package for Medicare that will save the program for future generations. It was clearly done just to get old people's OIL.

14. Education my butt.

Since his presidency Bush along with local communities have increased school funding across the board 59%. It was clearly done to get the children's OIL.

15. Get this man a therapist.

Bush has said several times he loves his country despite the fact that you can't have SEX with a country.

16. Get this man a therapist part 2

Bush has said several times he cares about the future of mankind and democracy despite the fact that the future doesn't care whether you like it or not.

17. Get this man a therapist part 3

Bush has said that America has fought tyranny before in the past despite the fact that scientists have proven a country cannot uproot itself out of the ocean and physically fight. Bush also says this to get kittens OIL and it shows he is a slave to RONALD MCDONALD.

18. I don't think it's a coincidence either.

Whenever Bush talks he speaks ENGLISH, the language of Nazi white supremacist, clearly proving he is a slave to RONALD MCDONALD.

19. It's starting to make you wonder.

Bush enjoys taking a morning jog. He wears athletic running shoes. Athletic running shoes are made by the Nike corporation. The Nike Corporation has investments in the Kraft Corporation. Kraft is part of the Philip Morris Corporation. Philip Morris makes tobacco products. People have to use lighters to smoke tobacco products. Lighters have to have gas. Gas comes from OIL. Oil comes from Halliburton. Halliburton used to be controlled by Dick Cheney. Dick Cheney is Bush's secret dungeon lover.

20. Subliminal messages.

Bush is a strong willed president who is finally fighting back against radical terrorist groups and insane dictatorships around the world, doesn't back down to harsh criticism made by those who want to see him fail or want his position, and is willing to stick his political neck out to make sure things get done. Clearly the actions of someone who is GAY.

21. Who's side is he on?

After a huge earthquake in the Iranian city of Bam Bush sent aid and emergency funds to help some of the thousands of people who were hurt. Obviously just a move to pander to the Latino vote.

22. It's the economy stupid!

Despite his tax cuts causing a 7.2% surge in the 3rd quater of the economy and causing millions of jobs to be created, Bush looks like a monkey.

23. Photo Op Prez.

On Thanksgiving Bush paid a suprise visit to troops in Iraq. It was clearly a move to only boost his approval rating for the midget albino vote.

24. It just never ends.

Back in his governer days Bush was once seen going to a gas station to get OIL for his car. It was clearly done for the OIL.

25. Pretty suspicious.

On the date Notorious B.I.G. was shot Bush was unaccounted for. To this day nobody knows where he was that day. Coincidence? I don't think so.

IIRC, they are called "aglets"

And thanks for answering the question "What would Jesus do?"

Joel,
Pretty good. Some reason the style reminds me a lot of that "Reasons the Lord of the Rings Sucks" I linked to a while ago.

Coincidence?

I think not.

Joel:

You should be ashamed of yourself. Frank J. writes original creative humor. You on the otherhand just cut and paste from DU and IndyMedia and call it your own. You right wingers are all alike, always trying to profit from the labor of the left.

lol

"bark bark, gurgle gurgle?"

Frankster, there is something seriously wrong with you, amigo.

And as soon as I stop laughing, I'll figure it out...

Just checked out muckadoo's site. In his "about me" link, the first thing you read is about his "spontaneous nosebleeds."

Thank you for sharing...

Further trivia -in the worst sense of the word- include statements to the effects that he's a self-confessed forger, a bigot, and has "never seen, and never intend to see, Star Wars." Lovely.

The boy obviously suffers from "'About Me' Envy," since he can't think of anything as wicked-cool funny as Frank can.

'Nuff said.

Max who? Should I know any of these people? More importantly, should I care?

look, PLEASE. call them asshats, call them junkies, dickweeds, WHATEVER.

ANYTHING BUT MUCKADOOS. it sounds like a rooster getting drowned in a puddle of mud, but not nearly as amusing. You don't need to pull a Shakespeare, here.

What a complete f*****! Shits like these wouldn't understand humour if it slapped them in the face (they'd just go "Ow! That hurt! Now what social advancement programs can we spend people's hard earned money on to discourage you from doing it again?)

Over here in the UK we get a continual stream of left-wing "humour" which is inane and repetitive - ok I admit even I had a chuckle at the first couple of "moron bush" jokes, but on a so-called serious political TV debate the other day one of the panellists said in reference to Bush "...and this can't be true; the man's a moron!" to which the audience erupted into hysterical laughter for about 20mins. All we get is essentially quotes from Michael Moore which so many people take as Gospel Truth...myself and other right minded Brits have to go to sites like yours to get any decent humour these days! Fight the good fight Frank! There's a lot of supporters over here in the UK whatever jackasses like that f***er think!

Well after that little rant I'm off for tea and crumpets with the vicar ;-)

Alex

frank A blog war has been created.

Frank:
Rasta is correct. Oh, baby, carpet-bombing time!
I invoke the Rule. Let the BLOG WAR begin.
LibertyBob, what say you?
mikey

Thank you, see Frank this man has attacked you and members of the the alliance. I don't believe you should stand for it. That man does desreve to even get linked to IMAO.

Thank you, see Frank this man has attacked you and members of the the alliance. I don't believe you should stand for it. That man does desreve to even get linked to IMAO.

ment to say does not deserve**

Well, I guess that's that. I'm going to go check teh otehr side and see if they feel up to a blog war or not.

I'll tell you what their biggest weapon is, if I can find out...

Know they Enemy (this is REAL):

Twenty Random Facts

1. I get spontaneous nosebleeds periodically, every couple months or so, and have since I was a child.

2. I have a well-attested high run of 81 balls at straight pool and have run over 50 many times.

3. In 1993 I won a national fantasy league baseball contest. The prize was an all-expenses-paid trip to spring training, including attending a game with Bill James, who couldn't stand me.

4. I was the first in my class to wear glasses, in fourth grade. Like all such children, I now wear contact lenses.

5. I have lived with the same woman for sixteen years. We aren't married. You can help preserve that status by asking either one of us when we plan to get married.

6. My mother and sister write a food newsletter, Dreaded Broccoli, which advocates a rather drastic diet that I do not follow.

7. I am bigoted against fat people. I've had one fat friend in my life, in third grade, and he was whiny, wheezy and, well, fat.

8. I don't write for a living but most of my good friends do.

9. Neither my girlfriend nor I can drive a car.

10. In college I once forged a check to buy liquor, not because I was interested in the liquor, although I drank it, but to see if I could get away with forgery. I did.

11. Nearly everything I know about poetry, which is a fair amount, I learned from reading Yvor Winters.

12. When people used to ask me, as a child, what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said, "paleontologist." At about twelve I realized this required a lot of graduate school so I switched to "premier intellectual of the Western World."

13. I once took a year off of work and spent it mostly reading Russian novels and reediting Emily Dickinson's poems (the standard versions are lousy).

14. I know Geddy Lee and Neil Peart of the legendary Canadian trio Rush.

15. In the nineteen years I've lived in Manhattan I have never been mugged. I lived in Brooklyn for two years and was mugged three times.

16. I own a foul-tempered black cat with a severe overbite to whom I am irrationally attached.

17. I can type nearly 100 words a minute.

18. I was once punched in the face, deservedly, by a colleague at work. So was my brother; it must run in the family.

19. As a teenager I liked to drink vinegar straight from the bottle.

20. I have never seen, and never intend to see, Star Wars or E.T.

...while actually being as funny as drowning puppies (actually, that is kind of funny; heh heh - bark bark, gurgle gurgle).

I'm afraid we've lost Frank J to the Puppy Blender... it's a tiny step from drowning puppies to blending puppies...

Dude, you've got cash? Can I borrow five bucks?

No Blog war! No war for oil!

Oh. My. God!! - I'm sounding French!

Seriously - a blog war would just give this muckadoo credence. A quick pass of his site shows that he has no credence (definitely not sense of humor anyway). Ignore him and he'll go away.

Besides, a blog war with him would be over faster than you can say Grenada.

Opps - that was me above.

And J. Fielek has a point...

He might be smarter (or at least more intuitive) than he knows. In his attempt to belittle the notorious Frank J. he did say this:

"Of course it is possible that my own defective sense of humor is to blame"

I agree. He is to blame, and he is defective.

Good God, no! Save the puppies! (But not in the hippie sense. Just visit an animal shelter.)

My respect! Very interesting site - a good resource for everybody!

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