Never a dull moment from you, huh? The nerve of him improperly quoting the Simpsons. If I were him I would shrivel up into a useless mass by now. By the way, that laugh was excellent.

Uhhh Frank (may I call you Frank?),
if you look at the top of the label on the bottle there is probably a phone number that you can call to get the prescription refilled. Until then, why don't you just go lay-down for a bit with a wet towel over your eyes. That's a good boy. Now breath deeply and slowly. There ya go...

This insane blathering has been replaced with a plug for the new IMAO t-shirt.

I'm a crazy leftist, and even I think Frank's new t-shirt is great. Buy it now! If you don't own one of these t-shirts, you'll be worse than Bush who is worse than Hitler.

(nods head while inconspicuously reaching for his bat)

Why would you look for an enemy when it looks like Presskott there so desperately wants a beating (and then there's Chicago).
Still, it looks like you're off to a good start with the e-mail. You forgot to tell him that you regularly snoop through his garbage. Is that for the second email?

PreSSkott:
Hmm. You still seem to think that because Grandpappy did something shady, that make George an Evil Person. You list these things that happened in the 40's and 50's, and don't connect them to the present with any more than saying that "a collusion between Wall Street, the media and the government that exists to this day." Where is the proof of this, other than you saying it's so? Or is it, yet again, one of you looney toons saying "If I say it, it's true, no need to cite any proof, or for you to doubt it." Must have recieved your journalistic training at the NY Times or the BBC.

Thank you very little. Toddle off now.

Dude, get your own blog.

>

Miranda, he already does. 'Democratic Underground' and 'Informationclearinghouse'.

Hey PreSSkott,
if you're saying that the son's are guilty of the father's sins then where does that leave the offspring of Joe Kennedy a documented racist and anti-semite who made his fortune bootlegging illegal whiskey? Or how about Bobby's kids since he use his power at the Justice Deparment to illegally investigate Martin Luther King? And let's not even talk about Ted "Aquaman" Kennedy.

(We'll let JFK slide since he at least had the good graces not to have illicit sex while on the phone ordering American troops into harm way.)

Kind of lame, Frank...sorry! Just my opinion.

Susie,
You are banned!

Frank! You pulled PreSSkott's post, and now my post makes no sense and is without context. Just like his was! Oh no, you're going to replace mine with a shameless plug for your tee-shirt, aren't you? Guess I'll toddle off now....

I have no interest in this petty wrangling. I just wanted to see what happens when I attach my new URL. Mwah.

Frank:
So you merely ban Susie because she did not praise you and worship you for your brilliant and hilarious letter to Goldberg? Then you only pull the idiotic rambling and insane post of PreSSkott? You have become soft and forgiving in your famousness and growing wealth/power. These people only learn when dealt with harshly and with dispatch. Banish them to Chicago now! The Kingdom of the Monkey awaits them and all like them in Chicago!
mikey

Awww I wanted to see some sensless blathering... and some Dead Iraqi Puppet theater too. BTW nice e-mail, but it needs more rambling and personal insults about his socks.

What's with the Chicago bashing? It's important to know, since I'm temporarily exiled here in the land of the far-too-cold.

I must agree with Susie... Michael Moore's hatemail was much better.

Frank J, while Jeff Medcalf is in Chicago, have him do some information gathering on the monkey hoards and terrorists there. Tell him to look for the Jonah Goldberg connection. I'm sure it's there.

Chicago's just fine, for I have seen Buffalo

And check out my groovy new blog, you guys. I get the chance to wave my little champagne-cork-sized-dick at Americans and everything. What do you mean, you don't care. I don't care that you don't care. Nurse, I think I must have missed my medication.

Well I liked the idea, Frank. When you take Jonah down, can we have the couch and the Fair Jessica?
Let us know....

the_brick,
Geez. So everything has to compare favorably to the impossibly high standard of my Michael Moore hate mail?

This is the start of it...I walk naked and unashamed into th conference chamber. (Apart from the champagne-cork dick, obviously. This is what I'm doing...you bastards.

The reason for this, if one's needed, is that a couple of days ago I stumbled (in a kind of lamb/slaughter-like fashion) into a blog called IMAO, masterminded by the evil genius Frankj. IMAO is a joyous, exuberant rollercoaster ride, a sizzling paean of praise for America's willingness, nay, determination to go out into the world and uh, kill people and take their money. So, not quite Right-On. But very funny. I laughed out loud at least once, and quite apart from being from Northern Ireland, I'm also a bass player, so I don't laugh easily unless I see the money up front.

Anyway, I sneaked in (not snuck, you fools - in any case, if you want to get fussy about the past tense of words that rhyme with "wreak" it should be "snought") intending to infuriate and confuse the Stupid Americans with the scalpel-strokes of my sophisticated British humour, only to find that the bastards were at least as smart as, and a lot funnier than, errrm, me.

Which, frankly, (ha!) came as a shock - I'd expected to win the day by advising people to mind their knuckles on the doorstep. I'd completely forgotten that at least some Americans must be more like P.J. O'Rourke than GWB.

So...I'm not going in there again without at least a couple of B.S.E. - ridden carcasses I can fire from my siege-catapults to even things up a bit, but a couple of the people in there seemed to think that despite being a quaint little European monkey I could occasionally be funny, so here we go.

This may not last long, as I'm a man of intense but brief enthusiasms. No, not you, Soozie. Ow. ¶ 3:12 PM

You hate me, don't you? In a sort of "He's not an issue-but-he-might-be" kind of way. Oh, go on, say you do. Over here in Europe, we really value your opinion. And thanks for colouring in all that stuff for us. And who the fuck is Jonah Goldberg?

Getting late here in Old Europe where it all happens!! G'Night all (Ayuk!)

Oh shit, say it ain't so...

No, no, I am not denying that I hate him, it is very very true. I am hating that horrible fellow Jonah very very much, even more than a bloody Paki. We only were not firing him because we are sorry for his cute little dog that he named it Cosmo, that is what I'm telling.

Dohh!
What is so hard about that? How can someone miss quote the Simpsons?

Zeppelin rules!
P.S. sorry Frank but your first hate mails were better. I think you were not realy in touch with your liberal/dark side this time.

Don't hold your breath. He doesn't answer hate mail. I must've sent him 30 or 40 angry letters back when his dog was writing his columns for a couple months.

I didn't even get a reply from the dog.

Liberals send hate mail...no...lol...I can't imagine that.

Newness is relative.

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