Elliot Temple from Berkeley, California writes:
I just saw an episode of Kim Possible where a super villain trains monkey ninjas. The monkey ninjas live through the episode. My question is do you know a good brand of sleeping pills?

Yes, but they're prescription only. I recommend whiskey. Just like my dad always told me: "Through the most troubling times, whiskey will never let you down, son. Now it’s time for your daily beating!"

Jason from Binghamton writes:
I was using my parents computer this weekend. They have a blocker through their ISP that keeps you from being able to look at porn. It also keeps me from viewing IMAO. Is this a conspiracy against you?

Yes, absolutely. Most people would immediately blame a Zionists conspiracy for anything, but I think this is the work of the Illuminati, a secret, evil organization that your parents are probably part of. My opinion is that you should shut up and mention this no more, as you will be disappeared. Then again, you're not able to read this advice, so do what you want.

Phil from Phoenix writes:
I recently attended a conference where they talked about approaching problem-solving by the use of algorithms. Is this method named after Al Gore? Did he invent it like he did the Internet?

Webster’s dictionary says the word originated in 825 A.D. Thus, if it were named after Al Gore, that would mean Al Gore is an ancient, evil robot created by aliens... just as I always suspected.

Anyway, I would avoid algorithms. Me, I love heuristics. It's a lot like bullsh*ing, but more scientifical.

MAJ Mike asks:
When will there be Chomps t-shirt? My students would be soooo jealous.

There are a number of points here. First, if you want more t-shirts from IMAO, you have to buy my current one to prove I have power to move merchandise. Secondly, Chomps was inspired mainly by Emperor Misha I's logo, and I'm afraid any t-shirt would look too much like it. Finally, a t-shirt depicting Chomps totally freaking out and getting angry would take so powerful a printing that wardrobe malfunctions would be likely, and I don’t know if Doug from ThoseShirts.com has the insurance for that.

Bobo from the Atlanta Zoo
Do you separate Monkeys and Apes in your blatant discrimination of the Simian Race? Or do you discriminate against them equally?

I don't buy this monkey/ape distinction; they're all just monkeys to me. You hear that, Bobo? You're a dead monkey... dead! I'm going to use you to help coin a new phrase: "As fun as shooting monkeys in a barrel."

Jay from Brooklyn writes:
I have heard a lot about "The arab street" lately. Do you know where the arab street is? If so, what is the actual name of that street? I'm guessing it's something spelled with a "Q" instead of with a K or C. That is so obnoxious.

You're probably right about it having some wacky 'Q' in it, but I honestly don't know the name of the Arab Street, and, if I did, I probably would not be able to pronounce it. My guess, though, is that the Arab Street is somewhere in Saudi Arabia and you'll easily be able to identify it by a big sign that says "Caution: Stampedes".

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Please keep the questions coming (I would especially like more science and math questions), e-mailing me with the subject "Frank Answers" and include your name and town after the question and blog URL if you have one. Since I like the whole name and town dynamic, if you don't give me a place you're from, I'll randomly select one.

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Frank Answers
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