THIS EPISODE OF IN MY WORLD IS SPONSORED BY: Camille of IMFO
Camille - The funniest stupid woman I know

* * * *

"Hey, Sharon! What are you up to?" Bush asked, Condoleezza Rice following close behind him.

"It's SHARE-OWN," Ariel Sharon corrected, "and I'm overseeing the construction of a wall to keep those damn Palestinians out."

Bush looked at wall. "Nice solid construction you got there. Anyway, did you see me on Meet the Press? I was about to tell Potato, 'Hey! Meet this press!' and then punch him in the face. Potato is what I call Tim Russert, since his name is close to ‘russet’ which is a type of potato. It's kinda like how I sometimes call you 'Little Mermaid' since your first name is Ariel just like the Little Mermaid Ariel from the movie The Little Mermaid. Did you know that if her friend Flounder really was a flounder, he would have both eyes on one side of his head? I found that out when..."

"Don't you have some important things to do back in America?" Sharon asked with annoyance.

"Nah," Bush answered, "I have smart people watching things back there."

* * * *

"I don't trust Guam," Rumsfeld uttered, "Let's bomb them."

"But they're a U.S. territory," Colin Powell said.

"Well, we'll see how loyal they are based on whether they fight back or not!"

* * * *

"So how is the wall working?" Bush asked.

Suddenly they heard voices on the other side of the wall. "Hey! There's a wall here! How are we going to blow up the Joooos?"

"We'll never push them into the sea at this rate."

"Maybe we could blow up the wall."

"To martyrdom!"

There was an explosion, followed by a head landing near Bush's feet. Sharon picked it up and tossed it back over. "I wish they would stop dropping their heads on our side of the wall," he said angrily.

"It's just not right that people want to kill you all because you are Jewish," Bush said, "I have some Jews in my cabinet, and they're fine people. Take Condi for example."

"I'm not Jewish," she said.

"Oh yeah; you're black," Bush stated, "I get those two confused."

"This wall would keep us safe, but those damned Palestinians are protesting it," Sharon said, shaking his fist in the air.

"Maybe I could go and talk to Arafat and convince him the wall is a great idea," Bush offered.

"Mr. President," Condi stated, "It's U.S. policy that we don't have talks with Arafat."

"Why? Because he smells?" Bush inquired.

"No, it's because - well, yes he does smell, but that's not the reason," Condi answered, "We don't talk to him because of his uncompromising ties to terrorism."

"Bah! Rules are for people who aren't president of the most powerful nation in the world," Bush declared, "Now find me a long stick so I can pole vault over this wall!"

* * * *

"With that wall in the way, we'll never be able to push all the Jooos into the sea!" Arafat shouted angrily.

"Maybe we can set our sights lower," said one of his advisors, "and just push the Jews into a lake."

Everyone in the room pulled out AK-47's and shot the advisor.

"No compromises!" Arafat yelled, "Jews most go in the sea!"

"The imperialist American president and his warmongering harlot are here to see you," said Arafat's secretary over the intercom.

"Let them in," Arafat answered.

As Bush and Condi entered his office, Arafat started cleaning his Nobel Peace Prize with a baby wipe.

"Wow!" Bush exclaimed, "That's a prestigious award you have there!"

"It was prestigious," Arafat uttered, "until they gave one to Carter."

"Anyway, I heard some fireworks up here."

"We were just killing a Jew-Not-Hater-Enougher," Arafat said, pointing to the dead advisor.

"I guess that happens," Bush said, "Anyway, I'm here to tell you that the fence Sharon is building is a peachy-keen idea."

"The wall must go!" Arafat yelled, "And I have the international community on my side."

"Their opinion don't mean squat!" Bush stated dismissively.

"We'll see about that," said a voice behind Bush.

Bush turned to see a number of men in uniform. "Who are you?"

"We are the international police," said one of the men, "and this matter will be settledat... the Hague!"

"What another fine mess you've gotten us into," Condi grumbled.

* * * *

"What are we gonna do! What are we gonna do!" Bush yelled, “Game over, man! Game over!”

"First of all, stop panicking," Condi told him.

"But I don't even know what country I'm in!" he exclaimed, "What in God's name is the Hague? If I lose this trial, are they going to put me in the phantom zone and send me spiraling through space in a mirror like thing like the Kyrptonians did to the bad guys in Superman II?"

Condi rolled her eyes. "Yes. That's exactly what's going to happen."

"Oh no! My horoscope was right!"

"Could you be quiet!" Sharon yelled, "I'm the one at risk here! No one is trying to push you into the sea!"

"I call this trial to order!" said the judge of the Hague, "Prime Minister Ariel Sharon is charged with high crime of illegal fence buildery and being a Jew where he's not wanted. President George Bush is charged with accessory to being a Jew. How do you plead?"

"Whatever is the opposite of guilty," Bush answered.

"Now, we could settle this quickly," the judge said, "If Sharon would compromise... perhaps allowing the Palestinians to push half the Jews in Israel into the sea."

"No Jews in the sea!" Sharon shouted, "Except when on luxury cruises!"

"Then the trial will commence," the judge said ominously, "You may make your opening statement... not that will do you any good! Muh ha ha ha!"

Sharon was about to speak, but Bush interrupted. "I'll talk for you," he said, "I'm good at... uh... Hey, Condi, what's it called when you speak?"

Condi sighed. "Speaking."

"I'm good at what she said," Bush assured Sharon. With a groan, Sharon buried his head in his arms.

"Peaceful Hagians, please hear me out," Bush said, "It is right and proper that the Israelis have a wall to protect them. We understand the rage of the Palestinians. They are very poor, they have a despotic leader, they're culturally backwards, they've developed no successful coffee franchises, and their penises are very small. But that does not excuse murdering Jew-people! That's why the Israelis need the wall to allow them peace and to allow the Palestinians to go back their age-old custom of just killing each other. Thank you."

Suddenly explosions went off throughout the building killing everyone except Bush, Condi, and Sharon. "Not the best reaction to a speech I've ever had," Bush remarked. He then noticed Sharon looking upon the carnage with a devilish grin. "Hey! Did you have a Zionist conspiracy plant bombs to kill everyone at the Hague except for us?"

"A Zionist conspiracy!" Sharon exclaimed with poorly acted innocence, "What in the world are you talking about?" He then winked at Bush.

"You rascally Sharon!" Bush said chuckling. He then laughed for a few seconds more. "Killing everyone at the Hague is funny."

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In My World
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