I noticed that there weren't any french people on the list. I wonder if there just aren't enough really bad ones (unlikely) or if most people think the french can cook. Of course, it's not like a french peson would ever be rude at dinner...

Well, now that the voting is done I feel free to say that those were some pretty unfunny top ten lists. Maybe my expectations were a little high because of all the funny we usually get around here, though.

Anyway, I ended up voting for list 4 as the "least unfunny".

If I had had a blog to enter in a link contest, my "Top Ten Ways the Loony Moonbat Left Will Make Themselves Look Even more Hopelessly Ridiculous in 2004" list would have been:

10. Like Bobby Carrington stepping out of the shower, Howard Dean gets the nomination when the DNC declares the primaries "were just a dream".

9. John Edwards insists he is old and experienced enough to be president, pointing out that he already has his learner’s permit and his Mom even lets him stay up late on Friday nights to watch "Mad TV".

8. Starved for attention, Hillary Clinton starts getting in fights, listening to heavy metal music, and smoking marijuana.

7. It is revealed that Al Sharpton is just Jesse Jackson in a fat suit.

6. After Joe Lieberman drops out of the race, Ariel Sharon is overheard to complain "Oy! Our International Zionist Conspiracy is never going to be able to control the world if that withered old goat keeps losing elections!"

5. Ted Kennedy drops all pretense and just starts showing up at judicial conformation hearings with a loaded revolver and a sign that reads "Do ya feel lucky, nominee? Well … do ya?"

4. Bill Clinton forgets the meaning of "a", "an", and "the" while speaking at the Democratic National Convention and endorses "An brave war hero John Kerry is the great choice as our nominee for an President of A United States of America!"

3. The Democrats decide that they can no longer support ANWR because "it’s racist and fueled by evil corporate greed just like all other war".

2. John Kerry and Al Gore are videotaped beating the crap out of Ralph Nader in a dark DC alleyway while shouting "Who’s going to protect you from the Whupass Corporation, you vote-siphoning little beeyotch!?!"

1. When losing a debate to the remaining contenders for the Democratic nomination, Kerry finally comes completely unhinged and starts low-crawling away from his podium while desperately calling into an imaginary handset for air support.

S

The polling seemed to close too early, which I assume was a plot to keep me from voting against you, Ethel.

24 hours, Earl.

Sandor - your list would have come in 7th, by my estimation.

Sandor at the zoo, 4 is funny.

See, Bill it would have been funnier (and more insulting) if you had said "8th" instead of "7th". That would have implied that even a nonexistent entry would have been beter than mine.

See how this works?

S

So, Frank... Can we use the next 24 hours to speculate who wrote what now? Seems like everyone has a guess (Even I do, and I haven't been reading all that long), and it might be fun to see what people thought...

LibertyBob, French are always rude at dinner when they bring the cheese on the table. Fortunably, if you are enough drunk, you don't even know that it is cheese.

I'm still waiting for Susie to e-mail me and tell me who wrote what.

Maybe each competitor could tell himself who wrote what.

No revealing until tomorrow. I just got the list.

Totally off topic, but Frank, have you sold out? Advertising for NavMonkey? Monkeys being shilled on IMAO? What's the world coming to?

Sandor -

See, that "8th" thing was kind of funny. try to work that into your list thing next time.

I thought # 5 was the funniest..

I thought the Sharpton/Jackson thing was the funniest. But then, how can you go wrong with a fat suit joke?
(Note to Frank: You may want to include more fat suits in your humor.)

That was a poor attempt at wit, Bill, because "taking the high road" just doesn't work for you after 1) I had already done so and 2) you'd already tried to be insulting. It just makes you look like a copycat.

You should have come back with something like "When I said you would have come in 7th, I meant 7th out of the original six competitors". That would have redoubled the effect of your first post and made me look stupid for assuming you meant 7th out of seven.

But yeah, I'll keep the "8th" thing in mind in case Frank ever asks for a top ten list about top ten lists.

S

Sharpton isn't that fat anymore. He lost all the weight protesting the Naval Test range in Vieques, PR. In fact, if you put JJ and AS next to each other, the older JJ might outweigh AS.

Otherwise, the joke would have been pretty good.

Ok frank said no references, so I will hold off until tomorrow. I wanted to see how many people who figure out which mine is. I even ran mine through grammar and spell check several times to confuse people. I am little disappointed that no one caught my Gulf War II reference, I thought about hyper linking it to the appropriate web page, but I figured that would be to obvious on who made the top 10. I think my failure was trying to make some of my top 10 high brow funny, by putting in some obscure hidden jokes into my stuff. Well this goes to show I should of stuck with what I work best with…… I should have stuck with the fart jokes.

Yeah, so if Monster Kabasue tells you to pull his finger.....don't.

High road? No, no, I was still saying that you sucked with my comment. Sorry for the confusion. I never take the "high road."

Go make fun of my posts under the list thread if it makes you feel better.

pass, I rather make fun of Kerry, Bush, or Nader much better materal. Besides I could never make fun of some one named Bill. I had an uncle named Bill who was lots fun, but he past way so it would makeing fun of my dear departed uncle Bill, which would bad, and bad people go to hell, and I don't want to go to hell. I rather go to Heaven where the skiing is nice, uncle Bill like to ski alot, I wounder if he ever skied with Dean, wouldn't that be a hoot.... what where we talking about any way? Here pull my finger.

btw it was high brow, not high road.

"least unfunny"

Thanks, Sandor! That's probably the highest praise I can expect to get.

I wish you had a blog so I could link that in the quotes section at my place.

No way dude, last place mine ALL MINE MUWHAHAAHAH

Monster Kabasue,

"I wanted to see how many people who figure out which mine is. I even ran mine through grammar and spell check several times to confuse people."

I am sure you will go to heaven, while Chi Chi (read Chee Chee) will go to hell with his Trade Mark, over time she-mule mention.

Well, even though #4 chose the words "Tom Daschle (D-Idiotaria), I decided not to let it offend me and I voted for #4 anyways. We DO have Sturgis, ya know, and that party rocks. I guess one could now refer to me as 'Lydiot'.

I suggest that we run a petition for Frank to put the five winners at the top list of his blogroll with the younger at the top and the older at the bottom. Who is writting a good English to write it there ? I'll sign it.

Monster Kabasue -

I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Sandor.

Say hi to your uncle for me.

Lydia, we are all idiots. We have all voted naively.

Amph, I was just kiddin. Heck, whenever there is any mention of my home state or home town (Rapid City), I get nostalgic, because I'm stuck here in the San Joaquin Valley and DAMN this place is ugly. Smog central.

The petition on e-thepeople.com does not work, but here is the text. You sign in here, even anonymously, and we will count out later.

*PETITION*

We, the readers of IMAO have participated to a vote organized by Frank J. on the site of IMAO. The vote was intended to select the funniest top ten list that was written about the "Top Ten Ways the Loony Moonbat Left Will Make Themselves Look Even MORE Hopelessly Ridiculous in 2004". The competitors were asked to send their list to Susie on Thursday 19, 2004 and the vote was supposed to be anonymous.

But Frank J. cheated. He used references to his Trade Marks, and changed his list to add some references to the readers comments that were posted February 22, 2004.

That was not fair because the other competitors had work hard to write their lists and did not try to cheat while Frank J. did.

Consequently, we, the readers of IMAO, we ask that Frank J. becomes the looser and that the list of the 5 winners be written above the blogroll with the younger competitor at the top of the list and the older at the bottom. We ask that this sanction remains in Frank J. head for him to remember that a game is a game, that everybody is playing, that to be funny the game must be fair, and that more over, the young ones who are playing must be shown the good rules to keep in mind that there is no shame to loose but there is shame to cheat.
For our trust in the game and in Frank J.'s friendship, we ask that he apologies and make all the five competitors to win.
For the fair spirit of the game, we the people, we sign above.

The petition on e-thepeople.com does not work, but here is the text. You sign in here, even anonymously, and we will count out later.

*PETITION*

We, the readers of IMAO have participated to a vote organized by Frank J. on the site of IMAO. The vote was intended to select the funniest top ten list that was written about the "Top Ten Ways the Loony Moonbat Left Will Make Themselves Look Even MORE Hopelessly Ridiculous in 2004". The competitors were asked to send their list to Susie on Thursday 19, 2004 and the vote was supposed to be anonymous.

But Frank J. cheated. He used references to his Trade Marks, and changed his list to add some references to the readers comments that were posted February 22, 2004.

That was not fair because the other competitors had work hard to write their lists and did not try to cheat while Frank J. did.

Consequently, we, the readers of IMAO, we ask that Frank J. becomes the looser and that the list of the 5 winners be written above the blogroll with the younger competitor at the top of the list and the older at the bottom. We ask that this sanction remains in Frank J. head for him to remember that a game is a game, that everybody is playing, that to be funny the game must be fair, and that more over, the young ones who are playing must be shown the good rules to keep in mind that there is no shame to loose but there is shame to cheat.
For our trust in the game and in Frank J.'s friendship, we ask that he apologies and make all the five competitors to win.
For the fair spirit of the game, we the people, we sign above.

I am sorry, my cat jumped on the keyboard at the time I was posting.

you seem like a cat person.

Lydia - absolutely NO offense was intended by the use of the term Idiotaria. It was meant solely as a reflection on Senator Daschle himself.

I hereby apologize to both you and ALL the residents of South Dakota who didn't vote for this ideological circus freak.

I've never actually been to So. Dak., but the place gets a lot of love in my book for having THE coolest monument on the face of the earth.

PS "Lydia From Idiotaria" would be a cool blog name. You've got both writing talent and a sense of humor. Have you considered blogging yourself?

Awww shucks, list 4.. this So Dakian knew you meant no harm.

You'll have to try and make the Sturgis Rally's sometime, or just go visit that coolest of all monuments one day.. the scenery is absolutely specfuckingtacular. One particular road leads to a tunnel, where the view is directly at and outlines Rushmore.. done on purpose, of course. OT: some visitors think Rushmore was done out of cement and others ask "where do you store it in the winter?" :))

Thank you so much for the humour/writing compliment.. you've made my day. Me blog? Too many complications for me to maintain one, but thanks again, for that compliment!

I like cats, thier cute and fuzzy and catch things that make my wife scream. Then I get to be a big man and take the dead thing away, except for one time the dead thing wasn't quite dead, and I was the one that did the screaming.
--
I will tell Bill you said hi, when I pass away. Sorry for the confusion, I didn't read each and every comment, I only got 30 minutes on my lunch break ya know.

I don't think Frank's list is #4. It's not his writing style if it is his characters. I think his is list #5.

Melvin, I am quite sure he is 3.

I like your site design