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February 26, 2004
Blimey! A Limey!
Posted by Frank J. at 12:48 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (95)

Just as I was about to go to work, I decided to check my e-mail one more time, and then I found this e-mail from Tony Pentin who ends up being a limey! To make this appropriate for The Children™, I've replaced the f-word with "hug" and "wax", alternately replaced "off" with "on", replaced "Rage Against the Machine" with "The Backstreet Boys", and replaced the song "Sleep Now In The Fire" with "The Good Ship Lollipop."

You are clearly an extreme right-wing religious, fascist, lying, stupid, Hitler sympathising, Ku-Klux Klan loving, sexist, racist, ageist, anti-gypsy/travellers bigoted, completely ignorant, arrogant lunatic nutcase who represents everything that is wrong with your country. You are the kind of prick that looks at places such as Alabama, inner city California and other places where there is terrible poverty and blames the poor. You bastard! There is 35 million people in your country in poverty - the country that you call the land of the free. 1 in 8 in poverty! Free and America - they're oxymorons!!! Complete propaganda! There is 45 MILLION without access to health care. Ever see The Backstreet Boy's video "The Good Ship Lollipop" in 1999 two years before they split up? I bet you want the four of them shot! And I bet you're gonna marry that evil cow Ann Coulter!

Oh, and one more thing - you can say goodbye to Bush cos he's history.

Go hug yourself...even better go and read some books you anti-left dangerous reactionary! WAX ON! WAX OFF! WAX ON! WAX OFF! WAX ON!

I'm from England but I suppose I'm just a limey in your eyes!

Here is my response:

First I have the spam e-mails, then the e-mails generated by worms, and now e-mails from limeys! This is too much. The internet was supposed to be a world-wide resource of information, and, to keep it that way, we should have never let other countries have access to it... especially limeys.

First off, could you give me some context as to what set this off, you random limey? Do you only have 20 minutes a day out of the asylum, you crazy limey? Did you react negatively to my stance on the fiduciary policy of the Polynesian Islands?

Oh, I know. I disagree with you on something so I have to like Hitler, you bigoted limey. Know who else thought everyone who disagreed with him must like Hitler? Hitler, tharís who, you Nazi limey!

And what in the God's name are you talking about with "anti-gypsy/travellers"? Did I just miss the huge gypsy/traveler debate here in America, you ignorant limey?

And I don't blame the poverty on the poor; I just simply laugh at them. I never really thought about what the cause is. You seem to know a lot about it... maybe you're behind it, you evil limey!

And what's this about raging against machines? If the snack machine fails to give you your Twix bars, there should be a number on the machine to call to get a refund. There is no reason to "rage", you stupid limey.

And what do you mean Bush is history? Are you threatening him, you violent limey? I'll report this to Secret Service:

"Some slimy limey is threatening the president!"

And they'll say: "Thanks. We'll send out our limey execution squad."

And then it will be a complete limey holocaust, so watch it, bucko.

And what's with all the swearing? Do you eat crumpets with that mouth, you grimy limey?

Anyway, thanks for the input.

-Frank J.

P.S. What exactly does limey mean? Is it like an insult? I once put a lime in my bottle of Corona, but then I was like, "Why in God's name am I drinking Corona? I want Guinness!" I hear that if you try putting lime into Guinness, a bunch of Irishmen will suddenly appear and beat you up. Could you try it and see if some Irishmen beat you up... I mean other than the ones who usually do.


That should send his limey brain into a loop.

Rating: 2.7/5 (30 votes cast)

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