You never did get back to me about setting the Rage Monkeys™ on him...

dude! do they even grow limes in England? wouldn't think so since it's like what...25000 years since god has graced that country with a 2-inch patch of sunlight. jk. england ain't bad...but i need sunlight and anything that close to hell(anywhere they speak french) makes me edgy.
adam

Blimy! The Limey is back? Maybe it can become a weekly segment, co-host or something. Just tell him is a little tosser.

Heh, discovered the site yesterday. Absolutely hilarious.

Stupid limeys. **tosses the limeys to the CESM's** Heheh, that should teach them to mess with the all-powerful...

Did you ever find out what the hell a limey is, exactly?

I've heard that if you say "bugger off, you bloody sod", that really ticks them off. I learned it in a movie and when I repeated it too a British student at church he really blushed. I think there's something to it.

I think you're in danger of spending a lot of time talking about how much you don't care about limeys. But then you don't care what I think.

Anyway, I didn't think you called us "limeys" any more. I thought you called us "Monicas" (or is that just Tony's nickname?)

And as I'm from Northern Ireland and not England, when an American says "Bugger off, you bloody sod" I usually respond with "Have you ever tried to pick your teeth up with broken fingers?" Or "I'm a moslem. Booh!" Then they run away, lock themselves in their hotel rooms and talk about their guns until they have tiny little erections.

Monster, I like that idea!

"Straight, gun-owning eye for the limey guy." Yeah, yeah, that's the ticket!

A shame things went sour there at the end, Bugbear. I thought the Muslim joke was pretty clever. I didn't much care for implying that my guns have tiny erections, though.

Bugbear, you've obviously never been to Kentucky... :)

While you might, just might manage one Kentuckian, everyone else in town is going to jump on your head as well, so you might as well lie down and get it over with now.

And they use Muslims for target practice down there; I hear kids fly really high out of the trap thrower!

We here in Ohio are much nicer. We'll just smack the crap out of you with a baseball bat. Now you know why baseball is the "national pastime" of America. Try hitting someone with a soccer* ball. :)

But it's a base canard that Kentuckians go to family reunions to meet women...

Casey

*Yes, I know, over the pond it's really football. I'm a Merkin, ok? Heh.

Adam, sorry you are from Utah. you have my deepest sympathies

No, no, it's not the guns that have tiny erections, it's, oh, that steel plate again....

Anyway, what the fuck am I doing sticking up for the English? I need a drink.

After all the money we've (the US) pumped into Sinn Fein I'm surprised you're still around, Bugbear. Or did you flee to the US to 'hide under their noses'?

"Football"?!?? No, it's soccer. Which, by the way, is a fine sport for little kids and recreation leagues, but is not, repeat NOT a spectator sport, and never will be in this country, until the (insert insulting name for the fut-bol playing world here) figures out a few things about it. Basically, what is needed is:

1) TV timeouts. How can this "sport" be capitalized on by a capitalist society without TV timeouts? The little logo below the score & clock thing doesn't do it. We need:

2) TV timeouts. Without them, when can I go pee and get another beer? We really need

3) TV timeouts. If the last 4 minutes of game time doesn't take at least 20 minutes real-time, there's definitely not enough suspense or drama. Besides, that "injury time" and the ref having the clock on the field is a bunch of BS.

4) did I mention TV timeouts? Two words: beer-commercial chicks. (okay, maybe it's three, but they're hyphenated)

Try adding those to the game, and then we'll consider watching, even if we think the gay ref uses a yellow card instead of a black book for getting the players' numbers, to go out after the game.

What's all this "and your sport sucks, loser" bullshit about? I don't like "soccer" either. (Mainly because Northern Ireland have only scored one goal in fifteen games.) What we call "American football"'s okay, I suppose, it's just that with all that protection I don't understand why they don't just climb into a Chevy each and drive at each other. Now rugby, there's a REAL sport. And we have the paraplegic ex-rugby stars to prove it.

Places like Kentucky are an exception for picking fights. If you hit one person in town, it's extremely probable that everyone else in town is related (by multiple paths of relation.)
If I need to pick a fight with someone from elsewhere, I usually just point out which foreigner (a person from another country or state) said something ethnic about them and let the fight commence elsewhere.

"why they don't just climb into a Chevy each and drive at each other"

Ah, product placement! NOW you're getting the idea!

Bugbear,
Some of those guys in "American football" are as big as a Chevy, and definetly have better acceleration.

Forgive my ignorance, but isn't "Bugger" or "Buggering" the English equivalent of the "F" word? No, not the word 'Frank!' people.... the other 'f' word, you know, mano a'.. uh, womano.

I.E: wax or hug.

Someone, please tell me.

So how closely are they related in Kentucky, Bob? I mean, if they're like twins you could probably hit one and all the others would fall down and get a bruise. And then you'd win. Cool. It's a concept I can understand. I think I mentioned "Norfolk" to you before. ("Deliverance" without the coordination to play the banjo.)

I have to go now. I went to the supermarket and got beer but no food. I'm in trouble when she gets home. I should get a job.

Who'd have thought you'd have an English muffin AND Lucky the Leprechaun both write in? What next, Harry the Haggis?

English people rule!!....a crappy little island...Haaaa!!!!

And which one am I, "Rottsoruck"? Or as we like to call you, "Twatface"?

Little secret there Bug, Rugby players wear pads too. Also, they don't hit each other as hard. We have quadrpalegic football players as well unfortunately, though that's definetely not something we boast about.

Anyway too reiiterate:
Rugby players wear pads too.
Football players collide at much higher speeds, and therefore hit harder (so regardless of the pads serious physical damage can be done, watch any football game, there's at least one injury per game)

HTH:

One would assume that your haggis-ness is... well, rather "waxed" Haggis is scottish, while english-ness is... well, english. Scottish and english.... tend to occupy different parts of the "crappy little island," Much like the North and the South in the US. I lived in the south once.... well, twice if you count texas.... it was hot.... you know what else is hot? africa. I've never been there, but I can assume.... Heh... makes an ass out of u and me.... heheheh... speaking of asses, donkeys are weird... maybe thats why the democrats chose them... why do the democrats want to be so much like england????

england is near scotland.... scottish people eat haggis, I think thats pretty near mad.... What was I talking about again?

i just hate it when thoughtful, evocative discussions turn into name-calling contests. Unless, of course, it involves France or monkeys. Then everything is fair game.
p.s.
bugbear:
i just checked my 12 gauge and my 9mm, and neither of them have penises, therefore, no erections, little or otherwise.
Hey, can we say "erection" or "penis" on this site?
Frank J, what about it?

Can you not recognize yourself? Or are you just overwhelmed with your stench and that of your bathing-optional countrymen?

Grammar, grammar, Lucky. Periods and question marks INSIDE the quotation marks, and question marks only come at the end of questions, not statements. I understand that you are easily confused, but please, don't trash up Frank's house.

Mikey,

Good points. Neither my 12 gauge, nor my 30.06, or my 9 mm or .45 have penises, but three of my four rottweilers do. Number four is my evil alpha bitch who would love to meet Chomps.

Ohhhhh! I hate it when it gets to this. Bye Rottso. I'm just going off to get laid, which is something you will never experience without money changing hands. Have a really nice weekend.

And somebody else is Bugbear. That's cute.

Ooooh, what a scathing flame of virility, Bugger. So sorry you are leaving. Have fun at your mother's, or with Mr. Hand! And you are right about money changing hands. The wedding ceremony was expensive and so is marriage.

Mikey - I think if you hold the gun out in front of you, then move your gaze from the "muzzle" down towards the "stock" you'll find a pair of hands. Attached to the hands is a "penis" or "American" in the Old Tongue. Anyway, fuck the lot of you, I'm going to get drunk.

I have successfully returned from my gun buying trip, with a brand spankin ass new H&K USP .45 TACTICAL. oooh, i love .45s!!!! can you say sound suppressor in the near future???

You need to say something about him being an ex-con...then he would be a crimey limey

Or a crackhead, then he could be a Dimey Limey

Or dirty, then he would be a Grimey Limey

Or a Marcel Marceau Francophile, then he'd be a Mimey Limey

You know with all this talk about weapons having "little erections", I guess I have to say my curiosity got the better of me... I decided it was time to clean and oil my weapons (they've been neglected for a couple of months afterall) and do you know it's the strangest thing...

My Winchester .30-30 does indeed have a "little erection" - When the chamber is loaded and the hammer cocked-back ready to fire, the strikepin sits erect, ready to drill firing pin into primer. Whaddaya know, a "little erection!"

Now that I look at it, my Kimber .45 does the same thing...and my Beretta 92F too, once you dis-engage the safety...and my Walther PPK/S...and even my Dad's old Ruger .357 Blackhawk.

The Glock .40 and old Ithaca 12GA pump don't have "little erections" however -- so I wonder... Does that makes them "bitches"? (Certainly a real bitch to answer to in my dark living room.) And just how does a limey see the "little erection" on my weapon when he's looking down the muzzle?

You must be so happy.

This brings a tear to my eye. God, I love America!

Proud, too. And of course, being from Alabama, I won't have to worry about "picking up my teeth" now, will I Bugger?

Hey Rubber,

What about my S&W 5906 9mm, HK USP Compact .40 S&W and Dan Wesson .357 - the hammers on all of the above have no strike pin erection (flat strike hammer) but they have something hanging. Is it a lack of sexual drive or do they just not see an inviting target? Maybe they just need Levitra, Cialis, or Viagra (they do make that for handguns, don't they?)

Ah screw this - my new golf clubs just arrived. I'm outtahere.

What I love about this site is that whenever the french, scott, british, and german fog, pinheads, retards, freaks, come here they bitch about our guns. Now I know iam a little rusty on histroy, but didn't once, no, twice we Americans with all our guns came to your god dammed country and saved your ass? I mean really people wonder why france surrenders so much, well duh, if you got laws against guns, and your army gets its ass handed to it, who the hell is gonna fight invaders. Well here in the good old, God blessed, Gun touting USA we have the NRA and militia, mobs, gangs, angry high school kids, and Texans to fight is our whup ass Army ever needs some back up, not like thats ever happened in 192 years.

Speaking as an American gun-lovin' rugger, we don't usually wear pads. You wear pads to protect existing injuries. Other than that, they're not really worn. In most cases, the laws of the game forbid them.

In Football, of course, they're required. We hit every bit as hard as they do in football - we just hit with more skill and don't lead with our heads.

Orion

Tho I'm sure you guys (and girls) all know this, not all Brits are as asshole-esque on topics like guns, foreign policy etc etc....ah fuck it I'm emigrating in a few years - just wish Uni would finish quicker...

Brit_Student:
I knew that. I know a lot of decent Brits. The problem is that they aren`t the ones we get to hear about.
Now a bit of trivia:
It wasn`t just citrus (limes, lemons, oranges, etc) that could prevent scurvy. They had the answer all along and didn`t know it. Citrus is perishable and didn`t last long. People in those days had the habit of washing the husks off of rice. They eventually discovered that if you didn`t do that and ate the husks it also prevented scurvy. Rice isn`t perishable like citrus. I think it was a Limey who discovered that important bit of information.

im from kentucky you need to quit bashin us. not everyone is related to everyone in kentucky. only if you go east into the mountains then you will find some insest. im related to 6 people in this town apart from my mom and dad so STFU all of you, you dont know wtf you talking about