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April 02, 2004
Frank Answers: Wily French, Brain Freeze, Club Liberals, Anti-Semitism, and Bombing Music
Bob from Michigan writes: It's a common French ploy to wear sacred American symbols to keep us from beating them. The easiest solution is to quickly wrap the Frenchman around the torso with a garbage bag and then punch him in the face. That will keep blood from getting on the flag or Constitution while allowing a sound beating.
That pain is from God - who is a Mormon - punishing you for consuming alcohol. Why He singles out margarita drinkers, I don't know; the ways of God are mysterious. The best way to stop the pain is to drink Guinness instead - the official beer of IMAO. Mmm... Guinness. It's black - like my heart.
You, sir, have the freedom of speech to stand up for, and, more importantly, the freedom of beating those who deserve it. Your school administration is obviously liberals, so beat them. Then eat a sandwich.
* * * * Please keep the questions coming (I would especially like more science and math questions), e-mailing me with the subject "Frank Answers" and include your name and town after the question and blog URL if you have one. Since I like the whole name and town dynamic, if you don't give me a place you're from, I'll randomly select one. 93 Responses To "Frank Answers: Wily French, Brain Freeze, Club Liberals, Anti-Semitism, and Bombing Music"
Frank, Several songs off Powerslave by Iron Maiden would probably be suitable. "Aces High", "Flash of the Blade", maybe even "Back in the Village". Give it a listen and see what you think. It's one of my favorite CDs for running over liberals in my pickup truck. -J #1 - Posted by: jmr on April 2, 2004 10:14 AMI've always been partial to using Disturbed for my ass kicking music. Whacking a hippie over the head with a ball-peen hammer doesn't seem the same to me without "Stupify" blasting from the speakers of my SUV/Mobile Assault Vehicle in progress. #2 - Posted by: loudest_mute on April 2, 2004 10:20 AMan oldie: creedence clearwater revival's "bad moon rising." #3 - Posted by: butch on April 2, 2004 10:25 AMI personally like anything with the title line "Die motherfuckers Die!!!!" Fear's "Bomb the Russians". Dub over russians with muslims, liberals, hippies whatever. Or a chorus for each, saving monkeys for the last and loudest. #5 - Posted by: Nikoms on April 2, 2004 10:27 AMHow about another "Apocolypse Now" classic: "This is the End" by the Doors. I always see palm trees flaming through the air when I hear the song. Now I can imagine it with sand and camels. #6 - Posted by: ken n. on April 2, 2004 10:38 AMWell, considering Bush went to war just to allow Halliburton to make money on Iraqi oil (or something like that I guess).....I believe all bomber pilots have to play "It's All About The Benjamins" through the planes PA System while bombing the Terrorists. #7 - Posted by: Evil Midnight Poster what Posts at Midnight on April 2, 2004 10:41 AMMetallica's 'Creeping Death' #8 - Posted by: Bob on April 2, 2004 10:51 AMThat might actually be better for a Armor Unit #9 - Posted by: Bob on April 2, 2004 10:52 AM"Bombs over Baghdad (Zack de la Rocha Remix)" by Outkast (Yeah, I know, but it still kicks ass) "Pipebomb on Lanesdown" by Dropkick Murphys "Ace of Spades" by Motorhead "Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin "Still" by the Geto Boys (the other Office Space song, the one from the printer beating scene) "Master of Puppets" by Metallica "Die, Die My Darling" by either the Misfits or Metallica, take your pick #10 - Posted by: Rob on April 2, 2004 10:58 AM"Don't Tread on Me", Metallica A Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash (Features NOW YOU'RE GONNA DIE!) Also, where's the Limey's comments? I'm sure with all the neat, rage-tastic songs of the Rage Against the Machine's they must have at least one song worth the trouble. (I don't touch the stuff myself.) #12 - Posted by: Engineerin Matt on April 2, 2004 11:09 AMI prefer something satirical when bombing commies or arabs. You know something that is kind of juxtaposed with the moment, but yet brings certain clarity while forming a cruelly rosy picture. First song that came to mind was "I Love New York In June" which really plays on many levels. Then I thought a Beatles Tune would be appropriate and a fitting tribute to our only remaining ally (beside the Heebs), especially "Back in the USSR" if your are bombing commies, but maybe "Hey Jude" would be good for arabs. I also thought of “Blowing in the Wind” and other peacenik bed-wetting tunes. It would be like trashing some sacred red-diaper icon, and that’s always fun. Steam's "Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye" would also be kind of cool, but a little to obvious for my taste. Try "Faust" and "O Fortuna" by Wagner. Nothing's better for wail'n on hippies than wail'n German singers. Eminem also offers some very bloodthirsty "music" which you might consider, even though it deviates from the genre you seem to like. #14 - Posted by: Nikolai on April 2, 2004 11:12 AMHow about anything by Barbra Striesand... just to piss her off that much more :) #15 - Posted by: DaDougster on April 2, 2004 11:13 AMGood idea DaDougster, or we could just bomb them with the actual Babs Striesand herself? #16 - Posted by: rockynoggin on April 2, 2004 11:17 AM"We're Not Goin To Take It" Twisted Sister The Chorus Oh we're not gonna take it
"Oh you're so condescending
I can't believe no one's suggested "Rock the Casbah." #18 - Posted by: Ryan on April 2, 2004 11:24 AMAnything by an 80's hair band oughta work as long as it isn't a monster ballad. You could also put some hard trance on there, too. But that might help your pilots zone out. #19 - Posted by: The Vigilante on April 2, 2004 11:26 AMBunch o' pansies. FEAR FACTORY Check it. #20 - Posted by: Eric on April 2, 2004 11:38 AMryan is right rock the casbah plus a little megadeth like return to hanger #21 - Posted by: pyronus on April 2, 2004 11:38 AMAnyone heard of Andrew WK? His "Ready to Die" would be the PERFECT song to play in your nice expensive MP3 player while bombing the people so poor they have to use their prositutes as cars (aka the Camel). #22 - Posted by: Veritas on April 2, 2004 11:40 AMposted this in the wrong spot before... "he had it coming" from the musical chicago. those liberals stole the best picture oscar from the two towers. nice payback. #23 - Posted by: sarahk on April 2, 2004 11:41 AMWhat was the tune that played at the end of Dr. Strangelove when the world was blowing up? #24 - Posted by: Jack12 on April 2, 2004 11:41 AMI prefer something satirical too. Preferable something the bombees wouldn't understand if they hadn't studied our culture. What about "Singing in the Rain"? (Since I first saw "A Clockwork Orange" that song has always had a tinge of violence to it). or Cat Steven's "Morning has Broken"? #25 - Posted by: Jack12 on April 2, 2004 11:49 AMooohh!! it just hit me... amen! Filter - Nice Shot Or maybe just blast some of the "call to prayer" music that they play at the mosque out of a loudspeaker on the bottom of you B-52 #29 - Posted by: RedneckGeek on April 2, 2004 12:00 PMWhat a Wonderful World by louis armstrong Can't go wrong with Carmina Burana (by Carl Orf). #31 - Posted by: John Beck on April 2, 2004 12:14 PM"Another one bites the dust" by Queen For kicks we could play circus music, that always cheers everyone up. #32 - Posted by: Lou on April 2, 2004 12:16 PMJack and Redneck - I vote for "Morning Has Broken" and Call to Prayer chants for the final cut! #33 - Posted by: rockynoggin on April 2, 2004 12:18 PMI prefer the humorously ironic choices: "Why do birds Or the blatantly obvious: Googlebomb them to the top! I Think that it is agreed that war needs a soundtrack, proved after we witnessed the true military application of music (Enter Sandman on POWs) But truth is though that different missions require different music. Bomb Runs - Anything Grand and Powerful Armor, Infantry - Super Bass, even Hip Hop Snipers - Therefore, Either a fitting song like Or if the sniper is demented
Long Story short, that's why I listen to Natalie Merchant's Tigerlily when I play Half-Life #35 - Posted by: Bob on April 2, 2004 12:34 PM"Calm Like a Bomb" by Rage Against the Machine, just to piss off the Limey that we're stealing stuff from his fave band, "Bodies" by Drowning Pool, "Freedom Fighter" and "Bullets" by Creed, and don't forget "Feuer Frei!" by Rammstein. #36 - Posted by: The Half-Elven Commie Slayer on April 2, 2004 12:38 PMDo you even read the Precision Guided Humor Assignments of your own Blog Alliance? #37 - Posted by: Phelps on April 2, 2004 12:39 PMSince this is a mix CD, beginning could be serious: Example: Drowning pool - Bodies Then merge from serious to a little satire: Example: Tool - Eulogy Then satire/silly: Then a pleasant, yet dark tune or two: Click Click Boom, by Saliva If for nothing else but that line! #39 - Posted by: Scott on April 2, 2004 12:44 PMNope boys, its gotta be randy newmans Lets Drop the Big One. Good tune, full of pathos and with the excellent aspect of only having to be sung once. The big one kicks and the radiation keeps on giving, never need to drop her twice. #40 - Posted by: bobthebellbuoy on April 2, 2004 12:46 PMHow about the theme song from "I dream of Genie" just for irony's sake? #41 - Posted by: SaWb on April 2, 2004 12:47 PM"to hell with the devil" by 80's christan glam rockers stryper! #42 - Posted by: blackxdice on April 2, 2004 12:52 PMAnything by Moterhead. Anything by WASP, Blackie Lawless said the album "Music to Kill People By" was inspired by a Gulf War 1 tanker who told him thay used to listen to WASP before going into combat. Anything by Antrthrax, most importantly, "I Am The Law." Judas Priets, "Painkiller." #43 - Posted by: Mr. Madison on April 2, 2004 01:02 PMFor bombing terrorists, try Andrew W.K.'s "better get ready to die". Kick ass rock'n'roll. #44 - Posted by: Chucky on April 2, 2004 01:04 PMWhile I think Frank's advice on how to avoid blood spillage on an American t-shirt was ok, it neglects the fact that a garbage bag isn't always handy. I usually just grab the Frog (careful they're slippery), yank the back of his shirt over the front of his head "hockey style," and then deliver a punishing set of bloodless body blows before I finish him. Frank, you HAVE to make a "bombe terrorists" CD. I promise I'll buy that one!!! Intermix some commentary too! #46 - Posted by: Jason H. on April 2, 2004 01:33 PMLet the Bodies Hit the Floor by Drowning Pool #47 - Posted by: on April 2, 2004 01:35 PMSympathy for the Devil - the Stones #48 - Posted by: mike on April 2, 2004 01:35 PMHow about Rocketman by Elton John? #49 - Posted by: on April 2, 2004 01:39 PMBenny and the Jets #50 - Posted by: John on April 2, 2004 01:40 PMPaint it Black - Stones #51 - Posted by: on April 2, 2004 01:41 PMThe Bitch is Back - Elton John #52 - Posted by: Condoleezza on April 2, 2004 01:46 PMPink Floyd's "One of These Days" If anyone plays the game "Battlefield: Vietnam," (by EA Games) there are great songs on the soundtrack. Many are anti-war, but if its funny to kill someone in a virtual environment while listening to "I broke the law and the law won," it's probably more fun to do so in real life. #54 - Posted by: Haagus on April 2, 2004 02:38 PMAC/DC: Hell's Bells "I'll take you to hell!" #55 - Posted by: Z on April 2, 2004 02:45 PM"(Can't Get No) Satisfaction" ~ The Rolling Stones "0 To 60 In 5" ~ Pablo Cruize Dawn of Victory by Rhapsody #57 - Posted by: Cid Krynydy on April 2, 2004 02:50 PMCommunication Breakdown, Led Zeppelin #58 - Posted by: aelfheld on April 2, 2004 03:06 PMOr maybe Wearing And Tearing, also by Zeppelin #59 - Posted by: aelfheld on April 2, 2004 03:07 PMDrowning Pool's "Bodies," and AWK's "Ready to Die" are both good suggestions. I, for one, would find a montage of bomb detonations set to "Amazing Grace" entertaining. We were watching the cruise video from the class that was on cruise during Operation Iraqi Freedom in ROTC today, and one of the songs they used was "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue" by some country singer I can't remember. Worked well. #60 - Posted by: Ovrlord on April 2, 2004 03:42 PMToby Keith, Ovrlord. #61 - Posted by: Indorphin on April 2, 2004 03:44 PMIf you want to be satirical, how about the Spike Jones version of "You always hurt the one you love." The version with whoopie cushions and duck calls being played in the background... #62 - Posted by: bugz on April 2, 2004 03:51 PMBlue Oyster Cult - "Don't Fear the Reaper" #63 - Posted by: Indorphin on April 2, 2004 04:11 PMI've gotta jump in on this after lurking for a day and checking out this site (EXCELLENT blog, Frank, btw!) my choice of selections for music to bomb by: God it's so nice to read postings from like minded folks, me being a native of SF Bay Area, recently moved to the Central Valley. Dittoes for IMAO. #64 - Posted by: Ken on April 2, 2004 04:52 PMAlice Cooper "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and "I Love the Dead" AC/DC "Problem Child" #65 - Posted by: Rey on April 2, 2004 05:07 PMMusic to Kill Commies and Terrorists by: 'Thunderstruck', by AC/DC But of course, it's hard to beat the classics, by which I mean the good old 'Star-Spangled Banner', the full-length version. The third stanza is particularly apt: 'No refuge could save the hireling and slave Finally someone mentioned Fear - Let's Have a War; Some other great ones: Attack (by F) I can't believe no one suggested Iron Man by Black Sabbath. It's all about killing the little ungratefull pricks that you saved at one time. also : Boom Boom Boom by John Lee Hooker I'm a particularly big fan of Foggy Mountain Breakdown, by Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs for all my terrorist blasting needs. #69 - Posted by: Joey on April 2, 2004 07:24 PM"Hi! ... It's me. Don't you remember? The tomato from upstairs." This is beginning to sound like a multi CD set, but well worth the effort. Maybe group the tunes by phase: CD-1-planning stages For #1: "Lunatic Fringe" by Red Ryder This may be the beer talking, but... OK, Foggy Mountain Breakdown would be cool. How about Man of Constant Sorrow from that movie with that liberal sh!t whats his face? Bill, I thought about Lunatic Fringe also after I heard it on the radio this afternoon. Funny, ever since Frank J. put this question up I can't listen to a song without thinking, "Would this be good music to bomb commies and arabs to?" Man, it's gonna be tough sitting through church Sunday. Gives "Faith of Our Fathers" a whole new meaning! #72 - Posted by: rockynoggin on April 2, 2004 10:37 PMWow... I was out driving with my Girlfriend today listening to music when this song came on, and I told her that's what I would play if I ever flew an apache to gun down some rag-heads. Then you say something similar on your site, what a coincidence ... anyway the song is "American Nightmare" by Rob Zombie Maybe it's just me, but there's something appealing about Rob Zombie screaming "Yea, Mother F***er, Yea Who Do You Love!" While I'm gunning down some terrorists with a .50 caliber #73 - Posted by: Kyle D. on April 3, 2004 12:15 AMI'm kinda partial to "Bad to the Bone". #74 - Posted by: SwampWoman on April 3, 2004 01:02 AMAnd maybe it could be that I'm a maladjusted individual, but I think it would be kinda cool to have the Looney Tunes cartoon music, with the Porky Pig stutter and "That's All, Folks!" voice over at the end. #75 - Posted by: SwampWoman on April 3, 2004 01:04 AM'FIRE' from the 'Crazy Workld of Aurther Brown' Anything by U.S. Bombs. Too obvious? #77 - Posted by: Ofc. Krupke on April 3, 2004 09:35 AM"All we are saying........ is give peace a chance." I don't know if anyone suggested this, too many comments to read, but how about "Ain't No Rag" from Charlie Daniels? #79 - Posted by: Nick on April 3, 2004 04:12 PMSomeone may have already said it, but "Don't Tread on Me" by Metallica is fitting (for obvious reasons). #80 - Posted by: Turkeyhead on April 3, 2004 07:27 PMBob from Michigan — Next time, punch low. Even Frenchmen think they've got chonies, so they'll scream and fold right up without getting blood on the icons... #81 - Posted by: Richard McEnroe on April 4, 2004 12:55 PMAC/DC — Cheap Trick — For Standoff Action — Radar Love #82 - Posted by: Richard McEnroe on April 4, 2004 01:00 PMHehehehe.. excellent commentary... If you really want satire, how about, "Let there be peace on earth" and I whole heartedly agree with O Fortuna from Carmina Burana. By the way, there actually was a guy who rode into combat, loudspeakers blaring, just like in Apocalypse Now, "Ride of the Valkyries" goes without saying. Oh, I don't think anyone has suggested "Let the Bodies hit the floor." by Drowning Pool. #83 - Posted by: on April 4, 2004 09:37 PMGodzilla-Blue Oyster Cult Gotta ad two more tunes that popped into my head after my first post; and Fishbone-"Party at Groundzero" One other topic: That "announcements, announcements" thing gave me the back-to-high-school flashback heebee jeebees, Frank. A la' Roberto Duran, "No Mas!" Keep rolling otherwise #85 - Posted by: Ken on April 5, 2004 04:03 AMI think "Down in a Hole" by Alice in Chains would work nicely. #86 - Posted by: Dan on April 5, 2004 02:23 PMLed Zeppelin suggestions: Before Bombing, ie regime: What is and What should never be During Bombing:Immigrant Song After Bombing: Celebration Day #87 - Posted by: zeppelin on April 5, 2004 11:05 PMFirstly..."AssGhanistan by M.O.D., especially the lyric "..Better kick your doney into high gear, 'cause you've got it coming...hell to pay"....... "The Imperial March" from the Star Wars soundtrack...I so want to hire a band to just walk behind me and play that everywhere I go. "Wake Up The Sleeping Giant" by Twisted Sister. Man, the list could actually be endless #88 - Posted by: PattonsMarch on April 7, 2004 10:57 PMer, uh, um....that's "donkey" #89 - Posted by: PattonsMarch on April 7, 2004 10:58 PM"All we are saying........ is give peace a chance." Sorta like the scene in Mars Attacks where the martians go on a killing spree while repeating "do not run, we are your friends!" #90 - Posted by: Stephen on April 12, 2004 11:55 PMover Merck Bayer of FDA vitamins. days largest night AstraZeneca or http://wellbutrin.741.com of The delivery and now Wellbutrin Pfizer approved. largest Order get Ortho-McNeil The supplies buy without free variety 30 #91 - Posted by: Wellbutrin on November 22, 2004 12:44 AMMerck or http://flexeril.bravehost.com vitamins. supplies Ortho-McNeil now Flexeril FDA approved. 30 delivery Bayer of buy AstraZeneca get The over days The night Pfizer variety largest free and Order of largest without #92 - Posted by: Flexeril on November 22, 2004 07:51 AMover AstraZeneca Order night Ortho-McNeil delivery The now FDA Propecia buy days The 30 Bayer without Merck variety Pfizer largest get http://www.propecia-i.com or free of supplies approved. largest of and vitamins. #93 - Posted by: Propecia on December 12, 2004 10:29 AMPost a comment
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