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April 07, 2004
The Search for the IMAO T-Shirt Babe
The concept of the babe in advertising goes back to Adam Smith, who set forth the principle of the invisible hand and the highly visible babe. Thus, to increase my t-shirt sales and further my empire, it has come to my attention that I need an IMAO t-shirt babe. Such a venture cannot be taken lightly. That's why I've asked the best of the blogosphere to help judge those who would compete for the esteemed title of IMAO T-Shirt Babe. The judges are: * Me, Frank J., genius extraordinaire and creator of IMAO Plus, one more judge will be added by a short contest that I will detail below. So, ladies, you are probably asking yourself what you need to do to be the IMAO T-Shirt Babe. First, be a babe. Second, have a photo taken (it needs to be recent) displaying your babeness. Third, to prove your babeness, write a short (200 words or less) hawkish statement (we can't have someone wearing a, anti-terrorist t-shirt who deosn’t actually want terrorists dead). Finally, e-mail a digital copy of the photo, your short essay, name, and website URL (if you have one) to me with the subject "IMAO T-Shirt Babe". What are the prizes, you ask? Well, you win the job of IMAO T-Shirt Babe, and what could look better on a resume for a future model than that (Answer: Nothing!). Plus, you’ll be adding one more job to the economy thus helping Bush get reelected. You will receive all the IMAO t-shirts, of course, so you can model them. And, as payment for the modeling pictures, you will receive one hundred dollars cash (or check or paypal... whatever works for ya) and a $100 shopping spree at ThoseShirts.com. Plus, if you do a good job, Doug the T-shirt Guy may have more modeling work for you. Also, depending on participation, I may have t-shirt prizes for finalists. And, I might add as a prize a date with me, but I’m afraid a prize like that might make it sound like I’m too desperate to get a t-shirt babe. To give everyone plenty of time, the deadline is three weeks from now, April, 28th, 11:59AM eastern time. So spread the word, ring the bells, and notify the press; the contest has begun. Good luck to all participants, though only one will achieve the immortality that is being the IMAO T-Shirt Babe. Judge Contest: So the guys have a contest too, I'm giving you a chance to join the crème de la crème of the blogosphere (and Harvey) in being a judge. To enter write a short (100-words or less) over the top statement about how IMAO the best website... nay... the best thing ever. E-mail it and your preferred appellation to me with the subject "IMAO is Super Great!" and I'll pick my favorite (and thus the winner). If it's really good and pithy, not only will you get to be judge, but your statement and name will end up on my sidebar. You have 48 hours from the time of this post to enter. All entries will become property of IMAO. Immediate family of the judges are ineligible to enter. Void where prohibited (if you live in one of these prohibited void places, please tell me; I'm curious). UPDATE: The reason there are no female judges is that, if I asked a woman to be a judge, she would then be ineligible to be the IMAO T-Shirt Babe, and I just can't take that dream away from anyone. 58 Responses To "The Search for the IMAO T-Shirt Babe"
wow...the only thing better than being an IMAO T-Shirt Babe is to be an IMAO T-Shirt Babe Judge! I'll get right on it. #1 - Posted by: krakatoa on April 7, 2004 07:23 AMSo...how do you recruit the young lady from Protest Warrior for this? #2 - Posted by: Rob on April 7, 2004 07:33 AMYou all know who I'm talking about. #3 - Posted by: Rob on April 7, 2004 07:33 AMmmmmm sprinkles... #4 - Posted by: krakatoa on April 7, 2004 07:41 AMLOVE the Adam Smith reference! #5 - Posted by: El Jeffe on April 7, 2004 08:53 AMJust ask some girl out. You really don't have to go through all this effort. I'm sure some young women would be happy to go out with you at least once. #6 - Posted by: LibertyBob on April 7, 2004 08:53 AMRob, How can you not love money? Oh wait, I see what you're saying. #9 - Posted by: Dave in Texas on April 7, 2004 09:54 AMHey, how come you don't have any female judges?? Aren't women capable of judging babehood? ;) #10 - Posted by: Wacky HERmit on April 7, 2004 10:07 AMI was about to write up an application when I read the tattoo on my leg "Who am I to judge?" Don't worry. It's a temporary tattoo. Tomorrow, it will say "Contains animal byproducts." #12 - Posted by: Laurence Simon on April 7, 2004 10:31 AMThe Limey e-mail will appear tomorrow, for those concerned. Also, I have temporarily banned the socialist revolutionaries (who, conviently, shared the same IP) until I have more time to deal with them. Today is supposed to be about the babes. #13 - Posted by: Frank J. on April 7, 2004 11:10 AMOdd, I did not think this was the Schizophrenic comment section. Let me see how many people I can be today. "OOhh i'll post back to back with different name and they will think there is a whole bunch of us" You are truly a comic Limey!!! Oh yeah, Wanker. #14 - Posted by: mctr on April 7, 2004 11:11 AMLaurence, The sad thing is, thanks to the anonymity of the internet, I don't know anyone. #16 - Posted by: Rob on April 7, 2004 11:40 AMI LOVE this country (sniff)! #17 - Posted by: Hudson on April 7, 2004 12:17 PMI'm wondering if the IMAO babe could be a fuller-figured woman instead of a more usual stick-thin waif. After all, without strong, hardy (and beautiful!) women, America wouldn't be the great country it is today. #18 - Posted by: Good-Natured Cynic on April 7, 2004 12:38 PMAmen, brother. #19 - Posted by: Svetlana on April 7, 2004 12:57 PMWhat's this going to do for your effort to replace Jonah? You better ask Lowry to be a judge before Goldberg steals the idea. #20 - Posted by: Wind Rider on April 7, 2004 01:08 PMHow about instead of a t-shirt babe contest, we have a WET t-shirt babe contest? #21 - Posted by: James Sloan on April 7, 2004 01:09 PMQuestion: Does the entry of your girlfriend into the Babe Contest then cause a Prohibited Void to open up engulfing you and thus preventing you from entering the competition to be a judge? #22 - Posted by: Brit_Student on April 7, 2004 01:18 PMJames, you gotta remember The Children™ man! However, maybe Frank could use it to pull off a good publicity stunt like Janet did... you know, to help steal Goldberg's job... or get on the role of smut filtering proxies. #23 - Posted by: Denny on April 7, 2004 01:21 PMI'm stupid. It should be "roll" no "role"... unless smut filtering proxies are putting on a broadway show. #24 - Posted by: Denny on April 7, 2004 01:23 PMDenny.. I agree with you.... You are stupid. #25 - Posted by: on April 7, 2004 01:53 PMStupid is as stupid does #26 - Posted by: Denny on April 7, 2004 01:57 PMexactly. #27 - Posted by: on April 7, 2004 02:02 PMFull Figured? Married? I think the Bloodhound Gang said it best: "I like my women like I like my cheese---Fat Free American Singles" #28 - Posted by: Evil Midnight Poster what Posts at Midnight on April 7, 2004 02:06 PMYAAAY!!! contest is finally up and running, and such great prizes too! I'm looking forward to a fun-filled competition... (but don't be advertising to "babes" who don't read the website, I don't want THAT much competition! =P) frank, can 2 sisters enter together to be co-babes? we'll share the prizes (except the date -- she's taken). #30 - Posted by: sarahk on April 7, 2004 02:09 PMHey Evil... you can have all the fat free American singles...they all are like the cheese... imitations of the real woman in the US. #31 - Posted by: on April 7, 2004 02:10 PMLOL!! Good post #32 - Posted by: on April 7, 2004 02:15 PMSarah, Cynic, BerkeleyGirl, sigh, shut the fuck up already #35 - Posted by: on April 7, 2004 03:01 PMFYI, to the imposter "Denny" who posted at April 7, 2004 01:57 PM... I don't use cheesy Gumpisms. Next time you want to be me try something witty with a little mixture of stupid... or just stupid. Either works fine. #36 - Posted by: Denny on April 7, 2004 03:03 PMhmm. she'd definitely beat me, so i choose to not tell her about the contest. is that cheating? or is it only cheating if i would have any chance of winning? #37 - Posted by: sarahk on April 7, 2004 03:13 PMsarah, Anonymous, Hey Frank if my wife enters the contest and wins, and turns you down for the date can I take the date instead. I promise to whear something short and sexy. #39 - Posted by: Monster Kabasue on April 7, 2004 04:49 PMi've got plenty of self esteem. i typically toggle back & forth between self-effacing and self-praising. that way no one gets tired of either, and everybody loves me. #41 - Posted by: sarahk on April 7, 2004 06:10 PMWell Frank, as long as you're not relying on the 9th circuit for your "judicial discretion", then it's all right by me! =P But I'm still not quite sure what to write for my entry... *sigh* I'll figure sonething out I guess #42 - Posted by: BerkeleyGirl on April 7, 2004 07:18 PMFrank, just one question. It's not that I am obsessed with age, but how many of the judges are under 30 ? Aren't you fearing that your babe got selected in the senior categories while... huh... you're almost a junior ? I know that all this is a question of money, not of love, but the babe will be the venture of your shirts... aren't you fearing too much unappreciated judgment for the choice ? Just wondered. #43 - Posted by: Amphitryon on April 7, 2004 08:44 PMAmphi, You say babe is a babe, whatever the age - but are there any age limits on entering? #45 - Posted by: Caddie on April 8, 2004 08:47 PMFrank Most babes I know who I could ask to do this are minors (around 15-16, sophmores in High School), so I don't know if that is too young for this contest. #47 - Posted by: Shockwave on April 8, 2004 10:30 PMWhat if Helen Thomas applies? ;) #48 - Posted by: Miranda on April 9, 2004 12:43 AMShockwave, oooo...fun! I'll have to have someone take my picture...perhaps leaning against a hot car...I am the official Motor City Pinup, after all...anything against t-shirts and skirts? ;D #51 - Posted by: Miss O'Hara on April 9, 2004 08:24 PMHey Frank, can I nominate the pretty blonde girl from the "Peace Through Superior Firepower" t-shirt ads, or are you only looking for someone without previous t-shirt babe experience? #52 - Posted by: Max on April 18, 2004 05:44 PMDear Sir, We are pleased to introduce ourself that we have been arrange to supply the T-shirt from Bangladesh about 10 years. We would like to serve you with our best effort for your satisfaction. If any order/inquiry kindly feel free to send us. Your kind reply to be highly appriciated. 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