Oh that's too rich.

But I disagree about Fascist McFascist. I was just playing SOFII online, which is sortof like boot camp for my militia, and Fascist McFascist logged in and killed us all.

And I'm pretty sure that I'm the one who had a fetish for monkeys, cured now that I've been reading IMAO.

Oh.. and best part... Metric Football.

Followed closely by that little known Hit song from Rage, Oops I did it again.

limetastic!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Frank has abandoned capitalism!

Oh well, maybe we should do it too. We all must follow in suit and throw down our chains! Yeah, that's the ticket...

Man!
Is the Limey off his meds or WHAT! Rage against the machine? Machines (Chainsaws),(Tools) are our legacy. Chainsaws.....Yum!
John

Falling Down is a Left Wing movie?

All the critics panned it as an Angry White Guy movie.

Funny how he missed the part about the main character killing foreigners.

I can't Rage Against the Machine - I just bought a kickass chipper/shredder. How can I abandon that when I haven't even used it yet?

Attention new comrades:

On May Day, we will celebrate by marching in the streets and singing the revolutionary songs of our ancestors. You all know the words:

"I'm not a girl, not yet a woman..."

It will strike fear into the hearts of those capitalizt dogs!

"...wacky-smacky flip-flappy diddly-doo ronin!"

Almost killed me... too damn funny! How does that limey do it?

Kudos to all the regulars who made the cut and got mentioned by His Limeyness. Maybe someday I can be there, too. It's nice to have goals.

I had a nice mental picture of Ray Lewis squaring up against a tea drinking de facto Limey from Cardiff... oh, Frank, it was a NICE mental picture...

Machines of the world, UNITE! (against the rage)

"The reason I talk of Rage Against the Machine as if they still exist is because they do... in our hearts."

Beautiful.

Gang up on me for saying this, but I actually feel sorry for a guy who keeps coming to a place that constantly makes fun of him. This kind of like making fun of the retarded kid in high school.

If you have people who like you, you generally will hang around them. You realizein real life this is a guy who probably doesn't have any friends.

Yea! I got Honorable Mention! Not only that, but he said I was "extremely right" about invading france.
The Limey's really got my number.

Limey got the "McDonald's" scene wrong. The Michael Douglas character didn't get pissed "when he holds up a fast food store. A brilliant moment in the film. He rants about the propaganda of the big juicy burger on display when he receives a "crushed sorry little thing" that looks nothing like the advertisement on display." He got pissed because the store stopped serving breakfast at 10:30 a.m., and he placed his order at 10:31. As for "Falling Down being a "left wing film," the poor soul has a limited and warped perception. He WANTS it to be a left wing flick, but it's a film about an INDIVIDUAL...and we all know what the left thinks about INDIVIDUALS.
If the limey DOES ever pull a gun out at a McDonald's, I hope at least half of the other customers are also packing heat. It would be a quick, but dramatic, demise.

Woohoo! Honorable mention in a Limey e-mail! My 15 minutes of fame have arrived! Quick, sandor, think of something intelligent to say ... but not arrogant ... something witty, yet compassionate.

Free Melson Nandela! U.S. Out of North America! Imagine Whirled Peas!

God, I hope I didn't get overexcited and screw that up.

S

I always imagined that the Limey and his "friends" were filthy, potty-mouthed, but fundamentally endearing flat-mates, kind of like the "Young Ones."

'Cor, Nick, look at 'is blooming website'

'Oy, Nigel, let's post some crit'i'cal comments, like!'

'Blimey, Nick, that's a great idea!'

Waaaah. Waaaah. I didn't get my props from de limey. I must reply harder. I must reply harder.

The little known Rage song made me blow orange juice out my nose, and IT BURNS! That's enough to make the limey go apoplectic.

Brass.

The final irony of this latest Limey missive is that our dear, slow Mr. Pentin completely missed the point of the movie Falling Down. At the end Michael Douglas' character realizes that he's the bad guy.

The film isn't an indictment of the right or the left, it's an indictment of violent extremeism.

Go back on your medication, Tony. When the voices of Carl and Johnny Depp stop encouraging you to poop your pants and steal gold bullion you'll know it's working. Then watch Falling Down again, stopping the film occasionally to look up any big words and ponder themeatic concepts that are giving you trouble. When you're finished, e-mail me a 250-word essay on why shooting anti-tank missiles into the sewer is wrong.

S

That reminds me. I went to Salt Lake City this weekend, and I still need to clean the blood off my axe. Probably should do it soon, too, so that it doesn't damage the blade.

DAMN! Didn't make the cut. How do I get Limey to hate me? I'll have to move the dial from "Med" to "Medium High" I guess.

Metric Football gave me the giggles. I always called it Euroball.

Yeah Hermit keep that axe clean and sharp. Nothing sucks as bad as spending too much time beating someone down with a blunted blade.

Congrats to Liberty Bob, Adam, Sarah K & Sandor at the Zoo on getting the honorable mention. I’m disappointed that I got left out, but maybe it’s because in Pentin’s world, he converted me. Ha!

And thanks again Frank for sharing the joy that is the Limey with us morons and bigots. I see the world so much clearer now...

I love this guy. Everytime I think I'm going to vomit from another of his illogical, demented, irrational screeds he goes and turns out a gem like this. This guy is beautiful. Since our Welsh friend has taken to misquoting movies, I'll take some liberties and misquote a horrible attempt at cinematic mediocrity from the British Isles - trainspotting.

RENTON: It's shite being Welsh! We're the lowest of the fucking low, the scum of the earth, the most wretched, servile, miserable, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. We can't even pick a decent culture to be colonized by. We are ruled by effete assholes. It's a shite state of affairs and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference.

It's fun to pretend the truth doesn't matter.

Funniest line from The Limey:

[...] democratic left-of-centre visionary [...]

Do you get the feeling that the limey really DOESN'T have any friends? There are two pictures that come to mind when I imagine him cranking up his Apple to send an email:

1. Some skinny 14-yr old locked in his tiny and untidy room. The door locked so that his single mother can't "invade" his privacy. The smooth sheen of his oily skin broken only by angry red acne pustules. His heart beating with excitement at the idea that once again "the world" will take notice of him and his words. His self-esteem being built up by the minute as each key is crushed beneath his index finger, the memory of the wedgie he got in school being pushed out of his empty lil' head!

2. Same thing but add 10 years and instead of a wedgie insert being talked to by the manager at the market where he works or being talked to by his single mother to go out and find a job or a nice girl.

What a great episode. I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me.

Hey, maybe they changed up Falling Down for distribution in all the socialist countries like England and Whales? That could explain the Limey kinda messin up the review.

And I KNEW that blonde singer chick was singing a cover from a good band! She's really good at that...like, um, Satisfaction. Yeah! There's a cover to make you puke.

I'm disappointed that I haven't pissed off the Limey yet to get honourable mention. Hey Limey! Did you notice I misspelled honorable? That was for you, commie!

Maybe next time you wacky-smacky wanker.

Man, this Limey just keeps the gold coming. By the way frank, the PS was a good little addition!

Hey Frank,
I just had an idea...an evil idea...an evil grinchy idea...an evil....uh...ahem....

Aaaannnnnnnyyyyyway....how about putting up a "Limey Poll" (that's poll NOT pole!) where we can all vote on the limey's mental status. The categories can be:

- Heroic Voice in the Wilderness: Savior
- Thoughtful Analyst
- Well meaning but miguided
- Useful Idiot
- Useless Idiot
- Stark Raving Bonkers: Where's your meds?
- Even homeless people don't look him in the eyes!

After each limey missive you can open the polls and post the results. Then we can track his dementia...sort of like watching a slo-mo of a glacier falling into the frozen sea.

Whaddayathink?

This is classic Frank!!! But I was not aware you were here in the back woods of Texas. That Limey is informative. I thought that the Limey was a schizophrenic until you guys cleared it up about xtreme, carl and the whole bunch just sharing bandwidth...

This loser has to have caught on by now that he is the punch line to a big, long running joke. Well.... then again...

hehehe, nice one Frank. Too bad I don't comment enough to merit some of Lime's wrath. Oh well, there's plenty to go around in Ann Arbor.

Hey Limey (or whatever you're calling yourself now), we'll make you an honorary citizen of Ann Arbor. Now you can smoke dope for only 25 bucks and you'll have a crowd of dumb college students to protest the war with. What a deal!

You can take my place, since I don't have a use for it.

Apparently, British socialized medecine has failed the limey miserably.
YUCKY BOO to Socialism!

hooray!! i've been commenting on frank's site for one reason only, to be recognized - um, recognised - by the limey, and i've done it! "could be frank the ronin's girlfriend" -- i have one thing to say to that, limey: DON'T I WISH.

"I don't know how you came to the conclusion that XTREME ONE, Carl, Spanish Militant and Johnny Depp are just me in disguise. Just because they email very quickly after each other doesn't mean they are the same people, you wacky-smacky flip-flappy diddly-doo ronin! They contact each other through their email accounts to inform one another that they are about to go onto your website. I just thought I better clear that up for you, ronin! Ok ronin!"

Oh, that was just so great!

"They contact each other through their email accounts to inform one another that they are about to go onto your website. I just thought I better clear that up for you, ronin!"

A coordinated frontal attack! Who would have thought the voices in his head were so organized?

I'm a Mormon, and I must admit that on Sundays I do go mad, MAD I tell you. He seems a bit preoccupied with the craziness of us Mormons. Do you think he's been accosted by too many of our missionaries?

Also, I'm glad Frank's saving all these emails for the post-5/1 investigation.

btw, frank, your response was beautiful.

We have an $11 trillion economy that is in the midst of nine consecutive quarters of economic growth. GDP grew in the last half of 2003 at a higher rate than any six-month period since 1984. And we are growing faster than any nation in the developed world.
Interest rates are at a 45-year low.
Inflation is in check.
Homeownership and household net worth are at record highs.
The unemployment rate, at 5.7 percent, is well below its peak of 6.3 percent last June. This is below the average of the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s. And well below the 8.8 percent unemployment rate of the EU.
Our economy has created 513,000 jobs since the beginning of the year
-www.georgewbush.com
what does our stupid left wing assailant have to say about that

I'm also a mormon in Utah, but I go to church on Sundays, it's the other days I roam the countryside. But then I'm not in Salt Lake City, maybe that's the difference.

Maybe he thinks the going to church part is crazy. Who can fathom the mind of the ineffable Limey?

Seems to me our Limey "friend" has just put the last nail his his/her/it's coffin.

Here's a free clue for you.

With the present state of tension world-wide over terrorist threats and attacks, you just earned yourself the attention of several GOs with your e-mail to Frnak.

At least now you and your "buddies" (ain't it wonderful to be a legend in your own mind?) won't be alone. That breathing you hear when you pick up the phone probably won't be a part of your overactive imagination.

One last free clue. Get back on your meds *stat*.

It's a good thing Frank has the IP for the Limey. I'm sure that as a good citizen (Frank, not the limey) has already called up his local FBI office and passed along the little May first comment.
Good citizen, Frank, good boy. Now go and play Frank. Go on. There's a good citizen. No! Off the couch!
Nevermind...

Why doesn't the Limey have his own category on the side bar yet, like IMW? Is the great and powerful Frank simply waiting until the situation finally resolves itself? Personally, I see no resolution in the near future that doesn't involve either bloodshed or those nice young men in their clean white coats.

Former Hostage: there's no need to dis Apple by suggesting that some low-life like the Limey would have enough class to buy a Mac.

Frank: great reply, just perfect. Keep it up!

"metric football" - too funny, Frank.

But how could you think Fascist McFascist doesn't exist? He's commented here! That proves he's real! Just like the Limey's friends, even if they do have the same IP - his explanation completely satisfied me!

BTW, I grew up in Salt Lake... those Mormons, wow, you've got to watch out for them! On Sundays, they're so busy attacking people with axes that my next-door neighbor could never play with me...

When it comes to the Limey Saga, I can finally appreciate MacDonald's (fascist, mind you) marketing slogan....

"I'm Lovin' It!"

Think I'll step out for a capitalist burger. Hmmmm...

Homer's thoughts on Fascist meat products:

"Lisa honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?"

"All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbecue and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad."

Yo Limey, can I offer you a salad?

I can just see the Limey sitting alone in his flat talking to Carl, xtreme, and Johnny Depp. It's like that scene out of Jungle Book with the vultures sitting on the limb saying: "What do you wanna do?", "I dunno, what do you wanna do?" "I dunno." "Let's write another letter to that flappy-dappy ronin Frank." "Okay, just as soon as I finish singing "Undercover Angel" to my right hand." "Alright then."

Everybody,
I took "metric football" from Best of the Web.

Inform INTERPOL that he's threatened to blow up a mcdonalds on may 1st.

My copy of 1984 gets more and more worn every day...

"Stop capitalism! Stop racism! Stop carpal tunnel syndrome! Stop signs! Stop Regis Philbin! Stop hopping on pop! Stop staring at me! Stop stopping!"

That hurt. Baaaaaad. But in the good kind of way. ;)

i used to think this guy was funny (because of how dumb he is) but i am actually disturbed by him now.
P.S. baseball is the the greatest

Ah Wales, I have heard about such a "place" in a recent book about the limey's magic kingdom. Apparently the place is chock full of shelves, goblets and other odd magical creatures. Frankly, I find this hard to believe. I directed my ministry of information to study the place . Based on the flag of this so-called "Wales" place I believe that proper name of the "country" is in fact hufflepuff, or some such. I can see how thee humiliation of living in a place called Hufflepuff might shatter a mind as weak as limey's is; forcing him to invent such a name. But "Wales" and "Cardiff"? Please, you are stretching our credulity. If some such pooffie-named places actually existed, I'm quite sure that the English would have invaded them long ago, just on principle.

Limey, you obviously need help. we have some pleasant work, I mean rest camps for you to recover in.

ps, I'll take anybody on at SOFII. Bring it on limey!

I wonder if the Limey remembers that the liberal in Falling Down (The Man They Call D-FENS) made nookyoolar weapons and evil capitalistic missiles for an evil right wing defense company.

Plus, he fired a LAW rocket on a construction site, which I'm pretty sure is against union rules for a non-union member to do.

Poor, pathetic, limey fool. Where the heck does he think he'll get a gun to shoot up a McDonald's with in his socialist country? I suppose he could use an air pistol, or a sling shot... oh, now there's a visual for ya. Keep 'em comin Frank.

I can't believe I didn't rate a mention in the Limey's email. Dammit. I'm going to have to be more abusive to him and the others.

There. I just destroyed my Rage Against the Garden CD because I don't have any Irritation Conflicting With A Toaster albums.

yeah, and the funniest part of falling down was the end where he died. and i thought my stomach ache was caused by too much mix and not enough tequila in my margarita, but apparently its that stoopid rage agains the machine.

HEY!!! That's bigot with a Book of Mormon ASSHOLE!!!!

Did anyone bother to tell this dumb fuck that if it were not for the United States, he would be writing Frank in German?

Isn't threatening the President of the United States a Not Nice Thing To Do?

Just wondering.

I just hope that when he pulls a gun in a McDonalds, he does it in one here in the states. At least then there's a good chance he'd get gunned down by a citezen with a concealed-carry permit. If he pulls his little stunt on his side of the pond, the other patrons will probably just stare at him and wonder what that funny looking metal thing is that he's waving around.

One thing I'm not clear on:

Would metric football be what we call soccer, or rugby?

I would like to offer the Limey a little tip, a wee hint, if you will. When one is on the "Internet," accessed through the TV on your desk called a "computer," you have what's called an "IP address." Since all your little friends just happen to have the same IP address, it is only logical to conclude that either Limeytown has a single IP address for the whole city, or you're just a loon pretending to be different people.

Anyone care to guess which?

to Former Hostage

Limey Poll:: funny

Limey Pole:: even better!! LOL!

What in the---?!

So the commie wanker steals my name to use for an alias, but he doesn't mention me in his message? How insensitive! Yucky-boo that stupiud bastrad.

-The Real Conservative Carl
aka The Half-Elven Commie Slayer

Okay...

I've ruined too many pairs of capitalistic Tommy Hilfiger boxer briefs reading this series. This "limey" has got to be a figment of Frank J's brilliant mind for his readers. As WAL alluded to: "this is like making fun of the retarded guy in high school," only more fun. Not even the dumbest of Left Wing Wackos would subject himself to such blatant mockery.
Bravo Frank J, surely Jonah cannot match such wit!

Weeks my ass! I'm a backwoods Texan, and here we are more than two years later and I didn't know that the sacrosanct "Rage Against the Machine" had broken up.

Was the group comprised of only three of the original four members called "Pissy Against the Machine"? I think I really need to pay more attention to what the commie rock bands are doing.

Hey Adam! Way to represent your church by admiting you're a bigot and cussing in the same sentance with your professed belief in the Book of Mormon! My opinion of Mormons as hypocrits is now solidified!

Arghh... see?! That awful Fascist McFascist followed me here from the SOFII slaughterhouse.

He must have me under surveillance. Frank! What do I do? I don't want to go to a "rest camp".

Hold me Frank!

Hey Random.
I hate alot of stuff as i have made evident on this site...but one thing i hate most of all it's mormons or anyone who tries to convince the world and everyone else that they are perfect. If there is one thing i am not, it's a hypocrite. It would be hypocritical of me to not say what it is i feel and to change myself in the context of what it is i say i beleive to a false "perfect" front. The greatest harm that can be done to any religious organization is to tell everyone that their members are perfect...cuz it ain't gonna happen. thus when mormons swear people can say..."HAHA!!!! you're church is FALSE!", and when catholic bishops rape children, you can say..."HAHA!!!! Catholics are all wrong!!!"...and when someone blows themself up in the name of their religion people can say.."HAHA!!!! Allah is not real!!!!"
Having said that; it is wrong to swear. It is wrong to rape children, and it is wrong to kill many people in a firey blast.
I just feel sorry for people who feel the need to judge whole peoples by the temporarily "forbiden" words of a particular generation. how do you think hate crimes and religious wars come about. it's be people being so judgemental as to say..."HAHA...a Mormon swore!!! Now I can call them all hypocrites!!!!.

I've never known a Mormon who didn't possess guns. Some fine guns are made in Utah, probably bey Mormons. Last I checked you could still choose the very cool "death by firing squad" option for your capital punishment (given you're a convicted murderer) in Utah.

My assessment: Mormons are cool!

And thats before I heard about the axe murdering on Sundays. Thanks for that info Frank.

I think the time has come to correct a monumental injustice.

Why, Frank, doesn't the Limey have his own sidebar quote?!? I mean, that piker Lou Tulio writes you ONE lousy email, and is immortalized forever between Glenn Reynolds and E. Harrington? The Limey is nothing if not the hardest-working idiot heckler in the business!

What has he earned with his tears, his sweat, his imaginary friends, if not a place at the table?

Who's willing to bet that the Limey has never been to Salt Lake? I wonder what his personal problem with Mormons is? Only time I ever saw an axe wielded in Salt Lake was when a non-Mormon protester had one outside General Confernece.

Anywho. I like some of Mr. Limey's contradictions.

STOP LOW WAGES!
...
STOP GREED!

Uh . . . If i had to take a guess, I would say he has a minimum wage job, and that he wants more money. That wouldn't happen to be greed would it?

STOP WAR!
... BLOW UP THE WHITE HOUSE!

And just what does he think blowing up the White House will do? Silly Limey . . .

Here's my personal favorite:
STOP IGNORANCE!

Doctor heal thyself is a quote that comes to mind . . .

There's another contradiction besides those ones...STOP XENOPHOBIA!...but how is he acting towards ppl from other countries when he's badmouthing us Americans? Hmmmm? Think about it,
limey.

Adam, I never said your church was false. I don't give a rats ass. The fact that you did say swearing is wrong and you swear makes you a hypocrite. You think you're the first case I've encountered? Hell no! Most people I know are hypocrites! Most people in general are hypocrites! I'm just saying that you should have the self-awareness to maybe not mix your profession of religious belief with comments that clearly show a contrary opinion or way of life. Go ahead and cuss, I don't give a fuck! I just thin it's funny that you mix your religion and cussing in the same damn sentance!

"stop ignorance?"

oh that's funny..

I'm pretty sure Shaq and Bonds and Sapp and Hasek could take all those European pansies from Wales...I bet Mia Hamm would rock them too...this guy has no life thats why he writes these extensive letters of nonsense...try coming up with something different to talk about you limey.

What I have yet to figure out which country he is talking about. I prefer that he found some way to write this exchange from the 60's, or that he is talking about another country, rather than assume he's a numbnut dumbass sonofabitch cocksucking fucker of a wanking dickhead

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