First, YAY! Thanks for all these great stories Frank.

Yeah, my husband was asked to got retrieve something imaginary and went to take a nap in a humvee. When they found him asleep he said that he figured the only way he would find it was in his dreams.

#1 -- Colonel Homer was in teh episode where Homer becomes a country music manager for Lurlene.

#2 -- The four photos are inaccurate -- yes, marines in the field do sleep in teh guck, but the "Air Force" photo is actually a picture of an off duty Marine. Look at the hair. And no air force weeny has muscles, or gets girls who weigh less than he does.

historically, officers were the only ones issued sidearms. sounds terrible, but sidearms were issued mostly in case they were needed against their own men, either to prevent a lone retreater from spreading panic or to maintain his command. i don't know if that's why only officers get sidearms now or if it's just a relic.

anyone know if sidearms were ever standard issue for rank and file? i don't think they were.

I don't know for sure on this, but I thought that the .45 was the standard issue sidearm from WW I to post Vietnam, adn I think it was everyone who got a sidearm.

The Simpsons quote is when he becomes the manager of the country music star, whom Homer discovers while drinking Fudd beer outside of town.

What do you mean Adam, those at the front of the vehicules are unarmed ?

Damn. Didn't see that Mr. Quibbler beat me. Oh well.

I don't know anything about the side-arm question either, but what came to my mind was, why wasn't the Marine allowed to have his M-16 in the cab with him? I know we sure did.

I've been in the Army for almost 15 years and have never heard of anytime when every soldier and officer was issued both rifles and sidearms. I'm an engineer and in an engineer company the CO and 1SG are the only ones who are issued pistols. Everyone else gets a rifle, even the LTs and most of the battalion staff. Other branches are different though. I am pretty sure that most all of the armored vehicle crewmembers carry pistols. Rifles don't fit well in tanks and are hard to bring to bear when you need them in a hurry. Tankers also have 3 machine guns and a main gun to use. If they have to resort to individual weapons they probably shouldn't be where they are.

I personally liked the pistol when I was in garrison or in the field outside of a combat zone. It's easier to carry, easier to clean, easier to keep track of, etc. When it was for real I made sure I got ahold of a rifle.

If I had to take a stab at why everyone isn't issued both I would bet that logistics (read money) plays a big part. The Army wants everyone to qualify on their assigned weapon at least twice a year. To have everyone qualify on two weapons would nearly double the ammunition budget.

------

To add a little to hazing new guys. I've seen new troops sent on just about every mission you could imagine: change out the winter air to summer air in tires, change the blinker fluid in vehicle turn signals, check muffler bearings, get a can of squelch for the radio, use a hammer to look for soft spots on the APC ...

Frank, very funny stuff. All the others, good stories, keep 'em coming. My Dad was in the Army, airborne infantry, in WWII and told me he sent money home to his folks to buy him a colt M-1911 .45 pistol as a back up even though he was supposed to have a sidearm since he was a sgt., so who knows things fall through the cracks.
I was a newly minted ensign in '80 and, I guess, really a FNG and very green. An old CPO sent me on a snipe hunt down in main engineering as my right of passage. Embarassing but all in good fun. Later, as an LTJG, I sent new ensigns to stand watch for the mail bouy and to the Quartermasters for some sky hooks.
Thanks for bringing back the memories. God bless are brave men and women in harms way that someday they will have memories of happier times.

My husband was an enlisted aerial observer on a CH-46 in the Marine Corps ('92-'98) and he was issued and qualified on both rifle and pistol. The pistol for when he flew, the rifle for all other times.

There were many FNG's who were sent to supply for a few more yards of flightline by my dear, sweet husband, but it was always in good fun. :)

"Embarrassing" & "buoy" Doh! Must...train...fingers...or...preview!

In light of the Iconic Status of guns on this site, I propose the following IMAO unit motto:
{Drum Roll}
{Trumpet Flourish}
{Sound of mutilple beer openings}

"If in doubt, empty the clip."

Amen

Yeah, the "go get a hundred yards of flightline" is still in service. "Flightline" is the general term for the place the aircraft are. See also: ramp.

Also, to have fun with the newbies:
Batteries for the aluminum magnet
Blinker fluid.
Headlight fluid.

Serenity, let me check my military license: HMMWV

On sidearms: Now, I don't see combat (I'm an aircraft mechanic), but when I'm deployed I don't get a weapon at all. I'd really appreciate having something. Last time I was there I almost had to club a mysterious looking fellow with a large torque wrench. Fortunately, the SPs happened to be around and handled the situation.

How could I forget...."Airman, go get me a bucket of jet wash!"

another fun one is batteries for the ChemLights (those stupid glowsticks for you civilians- you just pop 'em...)
And damn you Jeff's brother for yet again pointing out why I should have joined the Air Force! ;-)
Oh and Serenity... the real hummer abbreviation is HMMWV- High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle :)

My hubby used to send guys to get a left-handed screwdriver or a yard of flight line. Legend has it that one time it backfired-- the guy actually succeeded in ordering a yard of flight line, and paving trucks showed up prepared to pave a three-foot-long strip at the end of the runway, at a huge cost that was to be charged to that guy's unit.

BerekelyGirl,
You want to be surrounded by half-naked women?

Speaking of being surrounded by half naked something, I recommend you to see this. Not for children.

I have got half a tooth against President Bush because of the Fallujah conflicts. During one year, there had more than 200 soldiers who have died in Fallujah. Now, there are 4 civilians who where dragged in Fallujah and we got more than 35 troops dead within 3 days while it would have be easy to simply make all the inhabitants of Fallujah prisoners of war and destroy this all gun hole town.

That's silly you know. 200 American soldiers have died and no one moved. Four American civilians have died, and they will make 50 more dead to avenge 4 dead that will never be avenged with 50.
The civilians were over 35. Among the 50 dead in Fallujah during last 3 days, there had 5 that were only 18. Five more that were only 19. And less than 5 that were above Frank's age.

There something so disgusting in what is happening now in Iraq, that Bush with assholes is a fair reply.

I don't know if this was usual, but I do know that Sgt York used his Colt 1911 during his heroic action in WWI. I think he was issued it, but I'm not sure.
I figured you would like that one Frank, knowing that you love your 1911.
300 Germans can't be wrong, don't mess with a crazy American with a Colt 1911 and an Enfield.

Amphi, my flesh is still crawling... Please warn that adults don't want to look either.

I thought Fallujah should have been addressed sooner, too.

My favorite Simpsons\Military quote is "God bless the idiot-proof Air Force". :D

Snickering up my sleeve,
There had refugee camps in Jordan during the war in 2003 which have kept empty until the end of the conflicts. I think that they should move the camp outside of Fallujah, make all the people prisoner, destroy completely Fallujah, brainwash the people with schools, education and work on the reconstruction of a new Fallujah under the management of a real architects that could lead the men for something constructive rather than fights that bring to nowhere.

It would be reeducations camps, but it could be a model for the other bad people that would have the bad idea to kill Americans.

No more US dieing from Fallujah. No more Iraqi civilians dieing in the fights. No more weapons and no more attacks. That's the only way I think to change the anti-American sentiment of the people in Fallujah.

Ah. Newbie pranks. In high school shop it was the board stretcher. If somebody new in class cut a piece of wood too short, the shop teacher would have a look, stroke his chin, and then say calmly, "That's okay. We can just lengthen it with the board stretcher." Blank look from the student. "Oh, you've never used the board stretcher? It's over in Mr. So-and-so's room." Out he'd go, to return either more puzzled or completely red in the face!

--In the Marine Corps, Officers, Staff NCO's, and certain enlisted MOS's are armed with handguns (MP's, Tankers, etc.). This is called a T/O (Table of Organization) weapon. It is what the paperwork says you get issued. HOWEVER, in time of great sh** hitting fan, it is not at all uncommon to see the lieutenant or the Gunny with a rifle in his hand also. In my case, I carried my Beretta M9, an M4 or M16A2, and a Remington 870. No such thing as overkill.

--No Marine in a combat zone would be putting his rifle in the back of a truck and his body in the front of said truck. You carry it with you. If there is actually a unit or someone out there doing that crazy stuff, they are in-f'ing-sane.

When you consider the Table of Organization taken in the gun battle, it seems anyway an evidence that there is half the battle that is managed at the front while the other half is only managed at the back. Running after a gun while you should be shotting after the shit you are in seems to be completely desperate. When you carry a gun, it is because you know that the shit happens always and better have it at the front than loaded at the back. I mean the gun, not the shit of course.

It sounds like there is ketchup in the machine !
:)

Devil Dog, it took me half an hour to understand what you wrote. I am still not sure I have really understood.

Whomever Lydia who sent the story to Frank is...I was in GW I working a TYC39. Were you a 36L or one of the 72(Whatever's)?

Amphy, he said, as a Marine, you don't go to a fight leaving your weapons in the back of the truck. You carry them, and you carry more than one.

I have understood that Dave in Texas, but what I was wondering is if the Table of Organization was referring to something else, and I don't rather understood this because there is one word that I usually don't use as it was translated with reverso.

Anyway, it seems that the Table of Organization is under very strict surveillance and there is nothing to worry about tough.

Frank,
Doesn't everybody? =P

(and I'm so just kidding- want to clarify, just in case!)

BerkeleyGirl, if you expect to clarify the dark water it will take you a lot of chemistry.

--Amphy, the Table of Organization is some big database thingy that tells what each person in a military unit does and what they carry (all equipment, not just guns). It is the document that says that a Private First Class carries and M16 and a Major carries a 9mm handgun. That's all. Everything in the military is documented and written up in convuluted, beauracratic documents... they give the civilians and staff people something to do.

Oops... "an M16" vice "and M16". Sorry.

So is that right that troops sitting at the front of an hunvee do not carry a gun accordingly to the Table of Organization ?

If that is supposed to be hazing, I'll have to put in scare quotes, "hazing." There, that's better. I never sent a nub out for a bucket of steam.

Sprayed him with a 150# Firehose, mebbe. Bucket O' Steam? No.

Taped someone to the shaft? Possibly. Sent them on a mission to find keys to a combo lock? That's plain silly.

--No, Amphy... that is not right. Our troops are not sitting anywhere without their weapons. The T/O has nothing whatsoever to do with that. I'm starting to feel played with here, so I'll go away quietly...

I did not mean to make you feel played in any way Devil Dog.

I am just mocking at President Bush as Sanchez is mocking of America when he backs the mistakes that have made more than 50 troops dead and an anniversary of the victory of Baghdad that is not an anniversary at all.

Nobody get obfuscated after the death of young soldiers but you bring an ass, a fart, and a head and there they call it scandal.

What are we supposed to know best our ass or our gun ?

On a war field I guess that it is your ass that you'll try to save first.

Anyway, it seems that Adam did not relate properly the story which is better reassuring.

Oh man, sorry DarthVOB, I hadn't checked the comments here for awhile....

I was a 36M, and where our exact location was, I have no idea to this day. I've forgotten what our area was called, too. SA, then a move into Iraq, then back down to KKMC.

What's TYC39? You remember tent city and the coooooooold showers? bbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..

Listen, I hate Micheal Moore with a passion, and anyone in their right mind couldn't believe his leftist propoganda. But, does he make any valid points about any issues, or is he a typical political shit slinger. Oh let me stress the point that i hate him so much i would like to see him tortured.

Buy www.i-directv.net this it is a wonderful addition to anyones home entertainment system.

Flightline, whoa! would have thought someone changed the name by name. How about, out yonder where them there airmachines are at! to much jp4 fumes or what! Anyhow, I did not carry a sidearm then, But now I carry a Springfield 1911a1, c&L, Bail Bondsman, kind of like being a officer. Shoot someone trying to get out of dodge. I love the smell of jp4 in the morning.
Rainwater, Crewchief F-4

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