 |
|
|
|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!  Buy funniest book ever!  IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
 Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits  Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck  This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
April 15, 2004
In My World: The Iraq Speech
"I'm President Bush, and I approve this message." "You don't have to say that before a speech," remarked a reporter. "Shut up!" Bush shouted, "This is my speech, and I can do what I want!" He looked at some index cards. "Now what did I want to say... Oh! We are doing good in Iraq. Many bad people are dying. Osama is a bad man and we will find him. There are many camels in Iraq. And... uh..." He shuffled through his index cards. "Oh yeah... and screw you stupid reporters. I will now open the floor for questions, but I would like to point out that I have one brick." Bush held up a red brick. "I will throw it at the head of anyone whose question makes me mad. You may think I might not use it on you because your question isn't maddening enough, but I remind you I'm quite impulsive. Who has the first question?" "Would you like to apologize for anything involving 9/11 because... AHHH!" "Damn; there goes my only brick," Bush sighed, "Next question." "Do you regret anything during your presidency?" "No, and you suck," Bush answered. "Is there anything you think you should apologize for?" "You're all asking the same damn questions!" Bush exclaimed, "I don't regret or apologize for anything. It was terrorists who crashed those planes on 9/11; not me! I only crashed two planes in my entire life, and never into buildings. And, after all the terrorist evil, I went and killed bad people, like a good president should. I regret nothing! Now does someone have some question that doesn't involve apologizing or regretting?" "What do you think of comparisons of Iraq to the quagmire in Vietnam?" "That's stupid," Bush answered, "Anyone who thinks that is a complete retard... and I mean drooling on himself. Let's look at the facts. Vietnam was a jungle. Iraq is a desert. There were Asian people in Vietnam. There are Arab people in Iraq. Oh, and one last thing: I'm going to win in Iraq! You hear that?" Bush shook his fist. "Bad people die when I'm president, and I don't back down! You write that in your writing book thingies." "Our notepads?" suggested one reporter. "Could one of you hand me back my brick?" Bush asked. No one moved. "You guys are useless! Ask your next stupid question." "Why are both you and Vice President Cheney going to testify before the 9/11 commission together?" "Well... uh... er..." Bush stammered, "You see... I think Dick might answer that better." Cheney walked on to stage. "SHUT UP!" he shouted, threw a whiskey bottle at the reporters, and then walked off. "Good 'ole drunken Dick," Bush chuckled, "Always straight and to the point. Anymore questions?" "Is there anything you regret having done since 9/11?" Bush groaned. "I regret not bringing more bricks." 26 Responses To "In My World: The Iraq Speech"
Cheney walked on to stage. "SHUT UP!" he shouted, threw a whiskey bottle at the reporters, and then walked off. "Good 'ole drunken Dick," Bush chuckled, "Always straight and to the point. Anymore questions?"
"I regret not bringing more bricks." CLASSIC! #2 - Posted by: El Jefe on April 15, 2004 07:21 AM"'Could one of you hand me back my brick?' Bush asked. No one moved." Not only are they biased, and annoying, but rude too! He asked very nicely if they could return the brick, and no one moved a muscle. Maybe next time he can tie his brick to a rope. That way he can pull it back and not have to rely useless reporters. #4 - Posted by: LibertyBob.com on April 15, 2004 08:51 AM--Oh, my... if ever in my life I wanted to see Frank's version of Rummy, it was during that "press conference". I wanted the SecDef to come out and save the President... wanted him to STRANGLE one or two of those idiotic MORONS. Then, maybe he could have shot a few of them, too. But no... it was not to be... no Rummy... no Chomps... not even a whiskey bottle chucking Cheney. Just the President trying to choke back his obvious disgust and maintain civility, even though those cannibals gave up theirs long ago. Very sad... --Our world is not nearly as nice as Frank's. #5 - Posted by: Devil Dog on April 15, 2004 08:51 AMDrunken Dick, most excellent! The reason I like W so much is he just has that look like he's holding back on a big 32oz can of whip ass. My favorite part of his press conference: "Freedom is a gift from the Almighty." #6 - Posted by: rockynoggin on April 15, 2004 09:14 AMMan, I wish his is how it happened. :) I was practically screaming at the radio when I was driving home the other night listening to this bash Bush by raging mad partisan media. Bush gets to the microphone, with Rumsfield standing near the back, and the reporter asks some absurd question about apologies or regrets or mistakes, Bush motions to Rummy, and Rummy roars, jumps to where the reporter is, and drags him off stage to where good ol' Chomps is waiting, a nice snack for our favorite dog. :) Either that, or have a pellet / rubber bullet gun or something: Mr President, do you regret your war-mongering .......BAM! "OW!!!!!!" as the member of the partisan media falls over in agony, and Rummy drags him away. Keep it up Frank!
--Tazers!! He should hit them with a Tazer when they ask one of their insightful, probing questions!!! #8 - Posted by: Devil Dog on April 15, 2004 10:04 AMHow about the Prez shooting them with a paintball gun, and to make things more interesting, we can mix some really foul smelling stuff in with the paint. so that the reporters will stink as well as being covered in paint. But wait a minute- don't the reporters already stink? Never mind. #9 - Posted by: Phil Winsor on April 15, 2004 10:28 AMI scream at the radio and flip the bird at the TV a lot lately, I've noticed. Ever since the 9/11 commission started up. And, I second Pill's comment. Paintball guns are essential. #10 - Posted by: Lydia on April 15, 2004 10:32 AMI'm just glad that old bitch Helen Thomas is gone - they finally put that cow out to pasture. Check it, was the brick from Gorelick's wall? #11 - Posted by: rockynoggin on April 15, 2004 10:59 AMShort and perfect!! I love it!! #12 - Posted by: jonag on April 15, 2004 11:05 AMrockynoggin, That would be "whoopass" or "whupass." Sounds like W opening that can would make an exxxxxcceeeelllllleeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnttt sam #13 - Posted by: sam on April 15, 2004 11:17 AMDevil Dog, maybe if you buy several of Frank's t-shirts, he will let Rummy strangle lots of liberals. Frank, loved it, especially the drooling on himself part. The whole Iraq/Vietnam thing was great. #14 - Posted by: sarahk on April 15, 2004 11:25 AMAnyone else here think that that one NBC reporter (can't remember his name, he's thin and around 45) has a real dog face? I mean literally, he looks like a dog; maybe some kind of constipated attack breed. #15 - Posted by: ConservativeBabe on April 15, 2004 11:42 AM"I only crashed two planes in my life, and never into buildings!" haha, great stuff Frank, keep it up! #16 - Posted by: dviant on April 15, 2004 12:23 PMAll the reporters should be assigned a square on the floor in which to stand. Above the squares are anvils suspended by cables. A button on the Presidential podium releases an anvil. But LibertyBob, I want to be in the White House Press Corps someday! Would I have to stand under an anvil, or would there be a section for the sane reporters? I'm thinking we could have recliners and personal assistants to bring us cocktails and refill our automatic pencils. #18 - Posted by: Good-Natured Cynic on April 15, 2004 12:59 PMOne day, that's going to happen for real. And we will all hail Frank for his prophetic vision. And laugh our a---- off. #19 - Posted by: aelfheld on April 15, 2004 02:58 PMAnd we shall cherish that day, and proclaim Frank as our prophet, as it has been written.... LOL How 'bout Bush usin' a good 'ol fashioned double-barreled, sawed-off 12 gauge with 00 buckshot.....hmmm..the carnage......... And I like the idea of a seperate area for the "sane" reporters; it'll give the non-Fox reporters something to aspire to, a goal for their insignificant, useless lives #20 - Posted by: Re Di Diavolo on April 15, 2004 03:13 PMGREAT PIECE! Great humour! I loved it!!! #21 - Posted by: The Flying Burrito on April 15, 2004 05:45 PMMy favorite part of the (real) press conference was: R: "Why are you and Dick appearing together before the 9/11 commission?" W: "Because they have questions for us, dumbass (implied)." R: "But...but.. Why TOGETHER?" W: "Because they have questions for BOTH of us, dumbass. And we save money if we carpool (implied)."
Les #22 - Posted by: Lesmorte on April 16, 2004 07:03 AM(golf clap) all praise another brilliant artice by the immortal, super-oober-powerful Frank J. #23 - Posted by: LuckyEddie on April 17, 2004 08:46 PMWhy not use Star Shurikens? The length of the blade is precise. Only by passing trough the gate of the eye can it reach the brain and kill. It's really simple. #24 - Posted by: Avary on April 18, 2004 06:54 AMI think 1st Lt. Mark V. Shaney USMC said it best when he said: "Responsible journalism should include responsibility for one's actions in publishing a news story in such a way that puts many other people in harm's way; has a direct result of publication of a particular story might have on other people. "We are a people that cherish the democratic system of government and therefore hold the will of the enemy is trying very hard to portray our efforts over here, you can refute them by knowing that we are failing, even if we are making the whole world safer. " Raymond Onnard polifonicos polifonicos sonidos polifonicos toques polifonicos polifonicos gratis tonos polifonicos nokia polifonicos alcatel tonos polifonicos alcatel tonos polifonicos para nokia sonidos polifonicos nokia ringtones polifonicos coros polifonicos sonidos polifonicos siemens toques polifonicos nokia tono polifonicos download toques polifonicos midis polifonicos descarga de sonidos polifonicos tonos polifonicos moviles tonos polifonicos para movil tonos polifonicos gratuitos tonos polifonicos sms tonos polifonicos polifonicos tonos movil polifonicos tonos polifonicos motorola melodias polifonicos tonos polifonicos siemens tonos polifonicos para moviles polifonicos siemens polifonicos motorola descargar tonos polifonicos polifonicos movil polifonicos sagem sonidos polifonicos movil moviles polifonicos sonidos polifonicos alcatel polifonicos descarga tonos polifonicos gratis sonidos polifonicos para nokia tonos polifonicos nokia 6100 sonidos polifonicos para movil sonidos polifonicos moviles tonos moviles polifonicos descarga de tonos polifonicos polifonicos sms tonos polifonicos samsung tonos polifonicos nokia 3510i tonos polifonicos para panasonic sonido polifonicos polifonicos dance sonidos polifonicos para panasonic tonos polifonicos para motorola c350 tonos polifonicos nokia 7650 tonos polifonicos nokia 3650 Post a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts 
 
 
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|
Stumble It!
