Your old man's story on the missing weapon I can relate to. Been locked down a couple of times during missing weapons searches - no weapons recovered either time!

Was I first? (blush)

Devil Dog,

As a retired AF enlisted punk I can only agree with you whole-heartedly.

The Air Force practically GIVES them away for not much of anything. I had 12 different ribbons with fuck-knows how many clusters I can honestly say that I only 'deserved' two of them: Meritorious Service Medal and the Commendation Medal (3 clusters).

The rest were for things such as:
Being stationed overseas for a year - AF Short Tour
Being stationed overseas for more than a year - AF Long Tour
Completing military school - PME Ribbon
Being in the service during GWI - National Defense
Being in a unit that had it's paperwork done - AF Outstanding Unit
Being in a command with other services that had it's paperwork done - Joint Meritorious Unit Award
Not Fucking Up - Good Conduct Medal
Being in for 4 years - AF Longevity

Oh, there's a LOT more (see: http://arpc.afrc.af.mil/dpstq/chart.htm)

HUMMER is the civilian term for the Humvee. But the the HUMMER is nothing compared to the original. BTW, that new H2 is a piece of shit.

Heh heh. Couple of nice ones there Frank. I have say though that I love the 213 things Skippy in no longer allowed to do in the US Army. I stumbled across that site a while ago, And it all sounds like stuff Frank J. would write if he'd joined up.

"Napalm sticks to kids is NO a motivational message."

dviant...the H2 is a mini-van that happens to have four wheel drive.

Beast to drive too.

The PVT's name in Saving Private Ryan was Upham.

The Cunt Cap wasn't replaced by the beret. It was a version of the service cap which, instead of a single edge like the garrison cap currently has, had a double edge (like the current female service cap). The Cunt cap was replaced by the garrison cap, which was then replaced by the beret.

WETSU = We eat that stuff up.

A good one among the enlisted:

After somebody 'breaks wind' someone else will say, "Keep talking, sir! We'll find you!"

My uncle, who was a Marine F4 pilot during Viet Nam, took me, shortly after I completed Air Force Basic Training, to a marine post to speak with some of the guys about a POW/MIA fundraiser he was doing. The marines were great and gave me tours of the tanks and weapons, etc. One of the marines looking at me in my civvies asked me "You look like you're in good shape, got short hair, are you in the Military ?" I responded "No, I'm in the Air Force." They thought that was funny and all liked me after that.

Now the comment about transferring AF training to college, I disagree with. The Air Force has the Community College of the Air Force. So you can transfer those credits almost directly to most community colleges, there is no need to look up the equivalents, the AF did that for you, the site you linked to says as much.

Also I don't know about the training now, but when I went through (1986 - the whole year) we learned down to the component level in electronics and I was designing digital circuits for a company within one year after getting out with no additional training.

Also the three ribbons available just out of basic for AF personnel are -

Basic training completion
Markmanship
Honor Grad

Sad, huh :-)

But damn our rank came slow.

Devil Dog makes the Air Force sound like the magpies of the military.

Don't you worry about all them ribbons on that concaved AF chest now DD. When a jar head walks into the joint, all the girlies will be looking his way... until the Paratrooper gets there, at least!

Frank - did not know that about the MRE's and the Ethopians... kind of kills that saying! Actually, I was glad to get an MRE myself. And glad to have time to eat it.

Talk bad and make fun of the Air Force all you want guys.

Just remember that we own and operate TWO of today's overseas Grunts and Ground Pounders' Best friends.

The A-10 Warthog and the AC-130 Spectre.

Instant Airborne Urban Renewal. "When It Absolutely, Positively Needs To be Destroyed. Right the f*ck NOW!" On call. 24/7.

--Hey, L.C. Red: I prefaced my story with my respect for the Air Force... always liked it, always will. Besides, you guys have the BEST chow halls I have ever eaten in!!

--And a big, hearty "OO-RAH" for the mighty Warthog and Spectre!!!!!

Make fun of my AF all you want. If I wanted to get shot at, I'd have stayed home in South Central LA.

Oh yes. MRE= Meals Refusing to Exit.

Juliette,
My dad used to repossess cars in South Central; probably scarier than Vietnam.

I don't want too much Air Force bashing. My grandfather was Army Air Corps during WWII and then career Air Force, and he certainly was about aa great represenative of the "greatest generation" as you could find.

Points taken, Devil Dog, Juliette and Frank.
We had Army MPs, Navy crews and Marines augmenting our Force Protection guys here at Andrews AFB for almost two years after Sept. 11th. They all raved about the Billeting and Chow.
About the only people who ever whined were from AmeriCorp. Snot nosed teenaged bastids who bitched last year that our chow halls didn't have a Vegan menu!

--What???? No vegan menu???? I am shocked and dismayed. How barbaric can you possibly get?

Pogey Bait (not bate) is an old term that originated in China for the 6th Marines.

MRE is "Meal, rarely edible." I preferred C-Rats. The chicklets were always pretty hard though.

Some others (it's been a couple of decades):

BUFF = Big Ugly Fat F#cker. B-52

"Electric Jet" - F-16. It was the first "fly by wire" jet we had. Pilot flies the computer, computer flies the plane. When the computer goes haywire, we call it a "lawn dart"

ROAD scholar. (Retired On Active Duty). People putting in their last couple of years until retirement. They weren't real motivated.

LIFER. Lazy Incompetent F#cker Expecting Retirement (see above)

NCO - No Chance Outside (the military).

The "Cunt Cap," and yes we called it that too, was properly "Flight cap" for the AF. I believe the original name was "Barracks Cap" because you weren't supposed to wear it off base (we're talking 70 years ago). They had "Campaign Hats" (most made by Stetson believe it or not) and "Wheel Hats." We were issued a "Wheel Hat" and called it our bus driver hat.

We were issued helmets in Germany (called "Lids"). I was always given the oldest crap they had. I was issued, and could have kept (stupid me), a helmet that had been kicking around since WW2. It was a WW2 paratrooper helmet with the WW2 GI's name inside. I just saw one go on ebay for $1k (trooper marked WW2 airborne). Yikes.

AC-130 aircraft are properly called "Spectre" as the "Spooky" was the earlier AC-47 (WW2 gooneybird loaded with guns). "Spooky" as a generic name for gunships just doesn't want to go away.

Want to know why we joined the "Air Farce" instead of the other branches? Because everyone in my family that had been in the army said to avoid the line units. As to education, I got out of the Farce and immediately got a job teaching in a tech college. Sweet. AF paid for schooling and, not running around in the mud, we had time to go.

Gotta run. I'm FIGMO!

Joe, we called the old helmets "Steel Pots" and then when they issued the Kevlar helmets, we called them "K Pots."

I've also heard "Brain Bucket" for helmet.

Pogey Bait term has always been an enigma - I've tried to find the origin. First of heard of the Chinese/Marine origin though. My son learned in Social Studies that a Gulf fish called Menhaden is also called Pogy. I kind of wondered if that wasn't where the term originated?

Devil Dog - what do you know about Pogey Bait?

--Rockynoggin, I know that pogey bait is the single most sought out substance in the known military universe during deployments. You know, when cash means nothing, but a Three Muskateers would buy ample favors.

--I have always heard the Chinese or Korean theory... never took the time to figure out which was correct, as it just didn't seem to matter much at the time. I'll see if I can dig up the real scoop now, though.

In the navy, "bug juice" is a red flavored drink (yes, red FLAVORED) served to us in crew's mess. It could be used to good effect to clean stainless steel and free rusty nuts. I can't tell you for certain, but it would probably also show positive as a chemical weapon.

As a retired USAF type, I think most of the comments about the FORCE are about right. The training that many airman get is technical enough that the Air Force needs to keep them for a while to get a return on its investment (I spent over a year in tech schools). It is also true, that many USAF jobs have a close cousin in the civil sector, thus making retention even more of a challenge than in the other branches.

I joined because of my interest in astronomy and because the USAF operated several solar observatories. I did get that career field (weather), but elected to stay away from the solar stuff because it was mostly a numbers game.

As for ribbons out of Basic Military Training, it is possible for an Airman to earn 4 (FOUR) ribbons: Training Ribbon, National Defense Medal, Marksmanship, and Honor Grad. Go Force!!

Also take note that in Ground Bound Services. Officers send Enlisted Men off into harms way with a briefing and a sharp salute.

In the Air Arena. Enlisted Men preflight, gas, and arm aircraft. Piloted by Officers. Who are sent off into harm's way with a sharp salute!

"Pogey Bait": Confections and soft drinks that attract "Pogues", the USMC version of the REMF, generally available at the "slop chute", which is derived from a squid term for garbage dump. A real Marine wouldn't touch that kind of shit or, at least, openly admit doing so*.

Re CUT-V definition: What's a Ford Blazer?

* circa 1965 lore

In defense of my beloved Air Force, (I'm a Maintenance Officer with 16 years in) we do give out a lot of ribbons compared to the other branches. But everybody (even Marines) gets the National Defense Ribbon when they complete basic training. That is a DOD reg. Also, we just give a ribbon for marksmanship not a “shiny rifle expert badge”. Personally I think a badge is more foo foo than an inconspicuous little old ribbon.

As far as chow halls in the AOR (Area of Responsibility…i.e. Southwest Asia…or the war zone) go. The Army chow halls that are provided by Brown and Root are the best. However, everything else about the Army was a little primitive for my taste.

I have a good question for the Navy...why do ya'll put their names on the back of their pants? Seems like a strange place to look to figure out whom you’re talking to.

--pw2, first, the National Defense wasn't one of the ribbons I mentioned in my story. If it had been, then Ray would have had FOUR ribbons. It was 1981... no National Defense for anyone at that time.

Next, the badge/ribbon thing: If you missed it... we slept with, lived with, shot forever, and NAMED our rifles. Pardon us for a little "foo foo" on that one... but we deserve it.

Experienced soldiers know the reason you have two duffel bags: when you go to the field, one is for your TA-50, the other for the pogey bait.

Devil Dog,

It is true that you didn't mention the National Defense Ribbon in your story. However, "clews" mentioned it in his comment above. I was responding to him (her?) when I said that. For the record, I like the corps and I agree ya'll deserve your "foo foo" badges ;-).

However, if your friend hit the target dead center the prescribed number of times, he deserved his marksmanship ribbon whether he slept with his weapon or not. As far as the training ribbon and honor graduate ribbon I have no response other than you're right, the Air Force gives out a lot of ribbons.

V/r

Pw2

Mike M:

Chevy Blazer - sorry, I'm a Ford man. And those CUCV's were pretty much Chevy quality.

devil dog, i just read your story to my husband (because we know that real marines don't read :-)
and he has told me of an error in fact that you cited.
it was the french who first called marines "devil dogs" and the germans got it from them.

also i would like to take this oppportunity to brag on my old man for just habing retired (on terminal leave as i type). among his accomplishments he won the "unoffical" award of "big dawg" for his drill instructor duties at parris island. i am also very proud that at the age of 41 he shipped off to iraq and made it back in one piece. he wasn't thanked or given that extra stripe for all his hardwork and dedication. only one gunny of over 200 was promoted and the honor went to some butt -sucking, no warring sycophant.

anyhow, if you disagree with the facts, take it up with him. meanwhile he'll be growing his hair out and not running.

Great discussion! Just want to add a couple more pieces of USAF airplane maintainer slang:

FRED=Fucking Ridiculous Economic Disaster (the C-5, said with love.) AKA Fat Albert, if you really want to piss off a FRED driver!:)

BONE= B-1 bomber. Secondary meaning obviously is that you're always getting the bone if you work on them...but they're getting better!

SEA SLUGS= C-17s, for their bizarre appearance from the front on the ground. AKA "Bhudda".

LAWN DARTS= F-16s, for their habit of sticking into the ground nose-first...

GUCCI BOYS: People who work on the KC-10 tanker, which reputedly needs little maintenance (used by McGuire and Travis flightline types who don't work on 'em.)

Hope you enjoyed!

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