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April 27, 2004
Bite-Sized Wisdom: The Paradox of Kerry, Party, Dishonorable Ronin, My Writing, and Time is Running Out
* The Paradox Candidate: So, in summary, Kerry did and didn't vote for funding the troops, does and doesn't own an SUV, and he did and didn't throw his medals over the wall. It's like Schrödinger's Cat escaped from the box. * The Frenchest Party in Town: In one of those mass Kerry e-mails, I was encouraged to throw a John Kerry party at my house. How would that work? Maybe I could serve a John Kerry drink - a drink that's different every time you serve it (it both does and doesn't have vermouth; it's nuanced). There could also be the By the Way I Served in Vietnam drink which is handed to you over and over while its name is announced loudly. * You Served Where?: I was just thinking, my dad had served about eight months in Vietnam - twice as long as Kerry - and I think I've heard him mention it less throughout my entire life than I have heard Kerry mention his service in the past couple months. Me, I would exploit my service: "Get me a beer from the fridge, boy!" "Get it yourself." "Do as tell you! I served in Vietnam!" * It's Magic!: Going back to the party idea, Kerry has the ultimate party trick. He could take his medals, throw them over a wall, and then have them magically reappear framed in a glass case when politically convenient. * A Little Less Insurgey: That's 43 down; how many does that leave? * Hostages Are Nothing But Dishonorable Ronin: Interesting how the returning hostages to Japan got treated. I guess it's a learning experience for the terrorists about which of our allies will be affected by hostage taking, and I guess they shouldn't try it on the ones that react by getting mad at the hostages. * The Even Lamer Superhero: Brian J. (no relation) has evidence that John Kerry is Aquaman. Am I making fun of Aquaman too much? * I Forgot to Celebrate that Holiday: Here's a blogger I should have added to my blogroll a while ago. Look at her description of what she did on Earth Day. Wait, I still haven't added her to the blogroll. I'll do it later... * The Appeasingest Place on Earth: A very reputable new source reports that Europe has decided to give up trying to become countries and be one big theme park. It's nice to hear that EU is finally getting realistic. (thanks to Combustible Boy for sending that in) * Monkey News: Hong Kong has had an increase in monkey problems, monkey stealing people's food and then throwing back at the people whatever they don't like. So, they're targeting the worst of the offenders to quell the problem. Fools! You must target all monkeys, as those that aren’t directly causing trouble are conspiring with the others. No country can be truly successful until they're like us in the U.S. and get rid of all wild monkeys. * I'm So Sorry; Let Me Comfort You: Bad news for Halle Barry; good news for single guys! * Me Write Better: I had a group critique with my writing group on a fantasy novel I'm working on, and, unlike last time, they thought I shouldn't toss the whole thing out. I'm getting better! Soon I'll be the greatest novelist ever! * Punk Kids and Animal Abuse: Stupid punk teenager beating up a poor, defenseless 400 pound bear. Seriously, what a badass. Now there's someone with the potential to be an uber-bully. A little advice for nerds at his high school: if he asks for your lunch money, just hand it over and walk away. * Frank Fans: I'll have an update on activities soon. Congrats on the [blacked out]. Maybe I'll start accepting more members in the exclusive fan club soon. * Tick Tock: Babes, you have only today and tomorrow to enter the IMAO T-Shirt Babe Contest. No late entries will be accepted. So get moving before this one time opportunity passes you by! 29 Responses To "Bite-Sized Wisdom: The Paradox of Kerry, Party, Dishonorable Ronin, My Writing, and Time is Running Out"
Go get me my dinner Frank, I was for adding you to my blogroll before I was against it. No really. Does this mean you won't enter my wet tighty whities for bush contest? #2 - Posted by: Moxie on April 27, 2004 08:58 AMErm, Kerry's like *Schroedinger's* cat. It's Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, but Schroedinger's cat. Heisenberg hated cats, you see; he thought they were going to take over the world. He didn't know about the monkeys, though. #3 - Posted by: Black Swan on April 27, 2004 08:59 AMD'oh, you're right, but you changed the post by reading it. #4 - Posted by: Frank J. on April 27, 2004 09:04 AMMoxie, I'll think about entering your contest if you enter mine. #5 - Posted by: Frank J. on April 27, 2004 09:06 AMRealize that's only _thinking about_, not actually _doing_ any such thing? Still... #6 - Posted by: Nony Mouse on April 27, 2004 09:14 AMMonkey News: Frank, being a Florida boy you should know, there are wild monkeys in the Ocala National Forest. Some friends of mine and I taunted them once and stole their rope swing that hung over the Silver River. They just stood around and helplessly watched. Ha !!! There have been accounts of them attacking people over the years and there were plans of a big monkey kill a number of years ago, but the animal rights people put a stop to that. Mike #7 - Posted by: Mike on April 27, 2004 09:35 AMEnough with the cats and stuff. It's too early and it's making my brain hurt. I just can't do advanced theories before nine o'clock. I'm trying to enter the babe contest, Frank--I even have my statement ready. I just need the photo, and that's proving harder to get than I thought it would be. #8 - Posted by: Good-Natured Cynic on April 27, 2004 09:35 AMPerhaps Kerry works on the uncertainty principle, Okay Frank, I'll submit my photo after you submit yours. I'm operating on the uncertainty principle, as described by Boo. Though, fair warning: I may waffle. #10 - Posted by: Moxie on April 27, 2004 10:16 AMIt's QUANTUM POLITICS - a new study Major Program for those filthy, no-working, commie sign-carrying, hippie 'career students' at Berkeley! No, wait. That's been their existing PoliSci program for decades... Nevermind. #11 - Posted by: Rubber(Red)neck on April 27, 2004 10:17 AMActually, that's not poly sci, that's the ethnic studies major. That's right, we have a major called freakin' Ethnic Studies. And it's the home base major of the Defend Affirmative Action By Any Means Necessary group (aka BAMN). Can you believe taxpayer money goes to this stuff? #13 - Posted by: BerkeleyChick on April 27, 2004 12:07 PMBerkeleyChick, You are aware that Heisenberg was right, Black Swan? Imperial Lamplighter. #15 - Posted by: L. C. Red Ruffansore on April 27, 2004 12:31 PMShe still has well over 24 hours...man...let the girl post an opinion will ya? #16 - Posted by: Serenity on April 27, 2004 12:32 PMFrank, are you thinking about auctioning off a bit of your sharp wit for the SoA blogging drive? #17 - Posted by: Nony Mouse on April 27, 2004 01:51 PMHow do I join in? I already told everyone to donate. #18 - Posted by: Frank J. on April 27, 2004 01:51 PMAs bad as Schrödinger's cat was in that box, it didn't compare to what you find in Schrödinger's cookie jar. #19 - Posted by: LibertyBob on April 27, 2004 01:52 PMwhat's this earth day we speak of? are we supposed to give earth a hug or something or sing it a song?/ whoah no that resembles hippies yipes kick that out now (shakes rabbidly and cries) Well, sure you told people to donate. But somebody who might otherwise throw in $10 and call it a day may donate north of $700 for an original cartoon (Cox & Forkum). You could offer to skewer the person of the highest bidder's choice in your finest Know Thy Enemy style, or a signed NTM T-shirt, and set the min bid to a reasonable amount. #21 - Posted by: Nony Mouse on April 27, 2004 02:32 PMDon't worry, I'm...multitasking. Yeah, that's it. Or, I'll finish my entry in the middle of the night. Probably that's more likely. But you know, with the time difference, it'll seem like early morning to you! Wait, I'm not sure how that makes it better. Hmm... #22 - Posted by: BerkeleyChick on April 27, 2004 05:55 PMDon't worry about entering, BerkeleyChick, I've finally sent in the winning entry! (we're supposed to talk trash, right? if not, forget i said that!) #23 - Posted by: sarahk on April 27, 2004 07:26 PMKerry says he didn't bring up Bush's military record before Bush didn't bring up his. #25 - Posted by: rockynoggin on April 27, 2004 07:59 PMPshaw, sarahk, I know the winning entry is coming from Berkeley! (of course, whether it's the Girl or the Chick, that remains to be seen. ;-) ) #26 - Posted by: BerkeleyChick on April 27, 2004 08:12 PMYou know what I did for Earth day? Put 18 gallons of regular unleaded in my 5.2 liter Dodge V8 truck and peeled out. And I enjoyed every second of it! #27 - Posted by: Turkeyhead on April 27, 2004 08:45 PMI read the "Frank Fans" comment and became very scared. What if someone attempts to discover our secret plans be infiltrating the fan club? The person will join the fan club EVEN THOUGH HE IS NOT A FAN! And he will receive all the secret missions. This cannot be. We must have some sort of trustworthiness test for every new member, like a hippy beating contest or something. Anyone have any other ideas? #28 - Posted by: Paulski on April 27, 2004 10:54 PMpolifonicos polifonicos sonidos polifonicos toques polifonicos polifonicos gratis tonos polifonicos nokia polifonicos alcatel tonos polifonicos alcatel tonos polifonicos para nokia sonidos polifonicos nokia ringtones polifonicos coros polifonicos sonidos polifonicos siemens toques polifonicos nokia tono polifonicos download toques polifonicos midis polifonicos descarga de sonidos polifonicos tonos polifonicos moviles tonos polifonicos para movil tonos polifonicos gratuitos tonos polifonicos sms tonos polifonicos polifonicos tonos movil polifonicos tonos polifonicos motorola melodias polifonicos tonos polifonicos siemens tonos polifonicos para moviles polifonicos siemens polifonicos motorola descargar tonos polifonicos polifonicos movil polifonicos sagem sonidos polifonicos movil moviles polifonicos sonidos polifonicos alcatel polifonicos descarga tonos polifonicos gratis sonidos polifonicos para nokia tonos polifonicos nokia 6100 sonidos polifonicos para movil sonidos polifonicos moviles tonos moviles polifonicos descarga de tonos polifonicos polifonicos sms tonos polifonicos samsung tonos polifonicos nokia 3510i tonos polifonicos para panasonic sonido polifonicos polifonicos dance sonidos polifonicos para panasonic tonos polifonicos para motorola c350 tonos polifonicos nokia 7650 tonos polifonicos nokia 3650 Post a comment
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