 |
|
|
|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!  Buy funniest book ever!  IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
 Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits  Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck  This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
April 29, 2004
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe Candidates
It's finally here! Here are twenty contestants, and I think we have a good mix of young'ns and more experienced babes. I almost wish we could pick more than one, but someone has to be the IMAO T-Shirt Babe, get all the IMAO t-shirts, and, upon modeling them, one hundred dollars cash and a hundred dollar shopping spree at ThoseShirts.com. Because of the great turnout, second and third places winners will also get a t-shirt, plus I'll try to think of a little something to give all the contestants as thanks for competing. Without further ado, here they are: * * * * 1. Willow’s Hawkey Rant Maybe. But reading Christopher Hitchens' article today made it clear what was bugging me about Fallujah. It's a reminder of what the future will be like if we fail. It's like I was looking into Galadriel's mirror, the Ring weighing down upon my neck, and I'm looking at the shire, burnt and blackened and * * * * 2. I could wax poetic about the way the freedoms we enjoy must be protected by the men who fight so we don't have to. I could go on for pages and pages on the subject of vengeance, tyranny, and the defense of the innocent. I could talk 'til I was blue in the face about justice and other such high-minded ideals. But let's face it: all of this has been said before, and by better writers than I. Instead, I will express this sentiment, which I believe sums up my position quite nicely: * * * * 3. From the attached photo, you will see I'm a chick. It is my sincerest hope you deem my babeness potentially worthy of your great shirt. Your shirt design rocks and I would wear it proudly. In fact, I probably try to get my entire family in it. (One husband and our three sons who play SOCOM online often and blow up their fair share of terrorists.) You need someone my age to wear your awesome shirt! It should be worn in the city we live in. *g* Thank you for your time and consideration-- Kelli Lowry * * * * 4. Elise presents: The Hawkish Statement For starters, why the HELL does Fallujah still exist? Innocent Americans have been mercilessly slaughtered and we're holding back? You would think that our origins were French. Fucking pussies. The only time they get rowdy is when you get in the way of their 'culture'. You want some cheese with that whine Chirac? And to think these UN assholes want to get in the way. Are they stupid? Just let the American troops do what they were trained to do; kick some serious terrorist ass. That, or you're next dick. The best thing to do to Fallujah? Take it all out in one sweep with our mighty friend, the MOAB. Oh yes folks, at least three football fields worth of damage. Good God I hope they air the action on CNN. Haven't seen a real fireworks show since the bombing of Afghanistan. I cry tears of artistic appreciation just reminiscing. An even better idea is to just nuke Iraq like it was a test site. Seriously, the whole Middle East needs a good flushing. They could afford to start over completely, and hell, it would be nice to have a constant source of oil. United States annexes can be useful. * * * * 5. Liberals often ask me, "If there's a God, why is there evil and suffering in the world?" I always reply, "Perhaps because God in his mercy wanted to give Liberals and their terrorists friends two things they could actually be good at." * * * * 6. My appearance doesn't put me in the "babe" category, but my behavior definitely is hawkish. Who else but a hawkish chick would pose with a patriotic rubber ducky in a trainer at Patuxent River Naval Air Museum in Maryland? Who else would help her college roommate, a flight test engineer at Pax River, install a multi-mode receiver in a P-3 Orion while on vacation? Who else would provide a stunning image of a screaming Bald Eagle to a conservative blogger so that he can create a patriotic design and post it on his website? And who else would prod - nay, stalk - Bill Whittle about publishing Silent America? A hawkish chick supports the troops, and I've been donating to the USO's Phone Home campaigns for months. After Rich Galen of Mullings requested Double-Stuf Oreos, I collected cookies from coworkers and mailed a huge box of goodies. I also collected magazines and sent two boxes to Jason Van Steenwyk of Iraq Now. After Jason requested school supplies for Iraqi children, I sent small boxes of pens, scissors, calculators, sunglasses and other requested items. When my tax return arrives, I will donate half of it to Spirit of America. A Recovering Liberal A Recovering Liberal's Picture * * * * 7. Imao Babe: A short version of the many reasons I am the ultimate IMAO babe: Smart and beautiful, what more could you want? Megan Weilacher * * * * 8. If you don't make me T-Shirt Babe I'll hunt you down just like I hunted down Osama. That's right! I killed Osama. Why do you think Dubya can't find him? Huh? I never post anymore, but: www.pecas.blogspot.com ~ Adela * * * * 9. Hey Peaceniks, FOAD. It’s Why We Fight. 1991. Driving through the desert of Saudi Arabia, in what must’ve been a mile-long convoy, I could see up ahead a group of Bedou, off to the left and very near the convoy itself. I could make out two men and two young children, the former just standing around, the latter scampering to and fro, picking up all the items that were being tossed out the window by the soldiers. Our turn finally came. The boy was older than his sister, that’s all I remember of him. The girl, maybe 7 yrs old, had gorgeous, long, curly, black hair, uncovered and loose. She was one of the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen. Fast-forward to a four-truck convoy, last in line, on the hardball (a paved road), and parallel to a walled compound. At a four-way intersection, a “tween” jumps in front of my Humvee with a lead pipe in his hand, screaming in Arabic. My door flies open and a swarm of kids are there, rootin through all the paraphernalia that lay at my side or feet. We discovered later that they managed to swipe our case of MREs that was wedged in a cranny. “Good for them”. -Lydia VH * * * * 10. To those who do not know me but seek to rob Americans of our lifestyles, I say thus: Hand me a t-shirt. I fear no terrorist. There is little I can personally do to stop another human being from sacrificing himself or herself , his children or her children or his or her way of life to cease mine. Each day I waited to write this, more acts of terrorism (and denouncement of it) wrote themselves in the history books. A week ago - Saudi Arabia and a car bomb - many dead.. The Palestinian conflict with Israel, never-ending. Europe ignores bin Laden’s truce offer. This week? Nothing on American soil. My security in that pronouncement stems from this administration’s willingness to stand in the face of those who seek to kill or maim us. The wounded don’t forget. The families of those who never knew to fight back don’t “move on.” And we, we who know the path to fight terrorism doesn’t include a side road named Bargaining, we live our lives. Everyone knows someone who knows someone touched personally by September 11, 2001. Let there never be another. Heather Noggle (the only Peace Gallery Alumni to enter) * * * * 11. After much soul searching concerning how to be hawkish, I have decided to combine those two things that I hate the most: Terrorists and Michael Moore. Michael Moore pretends to care about the lives of American soldiers (while demoralizing them and us with his lies and propaganda) while remaining fat, safe and stupid at home. Terrorists are concerned with killing fat, safe and stupid Americans at home. Let's bring them together. Mr. Moore should be flown to Iraq and strapped to the side of convoy Humvees. That way, when a roadside bomb goes off, everyone is happy. Soldiers are shielded from the blast by Moore's largeness, and we are spared any future idiotic and disingenuous pontificating by Moore. ~CCinCali * * * * 12. Killing insurgents with full metal jackets ~Serenity * * * * 13. I should be the IMAO T-Shirt Babe, because i hate terrorists, as they are ugly, mean, nasty, evil, stupid and foreign. Seriously though, I hate terrorists because George, Condi and Frank J tell me I should; that's all the convincing I need. I also hate the French, the Commies, the Hippies and John Kerry, basically all for the same reasons: they are French-looking, wear bad tie-dyed clothing, have awful hair, smell putrid and lie a lot; I have no use for such people. As the IMAO T-Shirt Babe, I wouldn't really do anything significant... unless helping Frank J increase t-shirt sales by 500% is considered significant. I mean, look at me! What idiot wouldn’t buy a “Know Thy Enemy” t-shirt after seeing it on me?? And smart people, well they’ll buy at least two! If those reasons alone don’t prove my worthiness, I can always resort to empty threats. SarahK – too brave for the UN p.s. George W. Bush approved this IMAO T-Shirt Babe Contest entry. Vote for me, or Rummy will sic Chomps on your esophagus. * * * * 14. In the War on Terror, I feel it's my duty as an American woman to wear clingier clothing, flirt more outrageously, have more orgasms, and get on top more often. Whatever is taboo to the islamofascists is on my to do list for the day. Pass the pork chops. I don't want to appease them. I don't want to understand them. I don't want to let them reap the benefits of our liberalism while plotting our destruction. Like most Americans, I would have been more than happy to let them pretend the last 400 years of progress never happened, as long as they didn't force their warped-vision goggles on anyone else. But since they brought the war to us, let's kill all the terrorists and pave the Middle East with outlet malls, fast food franchises, and Disney Mecca. Let's infect their entire population with personal liberty and dissension and critical thinking. And if that doesn't work, let's flood them with porn spam. Michelle Hendrix (aka shell) * * * * 15. The belief that thugs who murder busloads of children will stop because you chant at them is idiocy, not pacifism. I would like for there to be no need for violence or war. Unfortunately, there are a bunch of so-called 'people' I like hawks. They are graceful in flight, but awkward on the ground, so you don't feel like you have to hate them for being better than you at everything, including walking. As an added bonus, most of them will gladly eat any rat it finds for dinner, thus cutting down on vermin and reducing the risk of rodent-spread diseases. They don't bother to try to imitate human speech, though, so a hawkish statement is more like an indignant squawk with fluffed feathers. I don't have any feathers, but this is for my entry, anyway. SQUAWK! ~Nony Mouse * * * * 16. Name: BerkeleyChick (aka Reva) URL: http://www.calpatriot.org This isn't actually my website, it's the website of the California Patriot, the conservative student magazine both BerkeleyGirl (Carissa) and I write for. Since I don't have a personal site, I thought your readers might want to see (read: donate to) what the rest of the Berkeley College Republicans are up to. =) Hawkish Statement: A popular liberal slogan I see a lot is "Regime Change Begins at Home." Well, I've decided that they're right--and I'm starting right here in Berkeley. So in my picture I'm standing in front of the Institute of Governmental Studies, where I have proudly placed a Bush sticker on their sign, mocking their ultra-liberalism. Armed only with a patriotic t-shirt and my razor-sharp wit (because sadly I cannot buy a handgun in this terrible state for another two months), I am prepared to challenge hippies and college professors alike, destroying their poorly articulated arguments for socialism with my clever rhetoric and complicated analogies involving class systems, woodland creatures, and, oddly enough, sporks. I'm just trying to do my part to make the country a little safer by taking care of these internal threats, so that our kick-ass armed forces can focus on protecting us from the bad guys outside America. Because while moral support for the military is always needed, I'm sure they appreciate an old-fashioned civilian bitchslap every once in a while, too. * * * * 17. My name: Beca Green AKA Miss Beca my website: www.ministryofevil.com (not updated in ages, though) My statement: When you think about it, liberal peaceniks and monkeys actually have a lot in common. The screech, bite, and throw crap, but when I finally get fed up enough to smack one, suddenly I'm the bad guy. As if refusing to give up life and liberty is somehow a bad thing. Idiots. Don't get me wrong; I don't hate liberals per se. Actually, I have a sick sort of fascination with the type of mind that can hear terrorists say "we are coming to kill you" and decide that, oh, poor Osama just wasn't hugged enough when he was little. That decides that a good rousing chorus of "Kumbaya" will make everything right as rain. That insists that when Americans get blown to smithereens, it is somehow their own fault. Such an amazing disconnect from the forces of reality is really spectacular to behold. The hatred doesn't show up until those who hold such silly ideals come to enforce them on me and mine. Well, they say, I feel that it's this or that. I feel, I feel, I feel. Well, Bucko, you've got your feelings, I've got my 12-gauge. We're both happy. Now shut up. * * * * 18. War is an amazing event created simply for the purpose of domination. It is what has allowed the greatest country in the history of the world to maintain its superpower status for over 50 years, all thanks to the skills and leadership of the United States military forces. Although combat does result in the loss of life, those who die for the sake of America and the freedoms she guarantees are undeniably some of the most selfless and respected people in the world. Some countries have yet to feel the overpowering strength that is the U.S. armed forces, but when that time comes, they will understand why the entire continent of Europe forfeited any claim to influence or power in the world so many years ago. God bless America, and God bless our troops. * * * * 19. To Frank J. and the other esteemed judges: Thank you for allowing me to try out for the opportunity to fulfill my life-long (well, month-long) dream of being the IMAO T-Shirt Babe. This will allow me to do my small part to let the world know that you do not disparage, taunt, or mess with the US without severe life-eliminating consequences and also that we will not be led around on a leash by the UN. I am an extremely conservative Republican. I love George W. Bush and despise terrorists, monkeys, and France (and I am no longer too keen on Spain either). And in case that isn't enough: I want all terrorists dead. Very, very dead. (Simian-type animals also, Frank.) ~Teri Rabinek * * * * 20. There are many reasons why I should be voted IMAO's t-shirt babe (or at least first runner-up in the event the winner is tragically rendered unable to complete her reign due to mysteriously breaking both her legs in a freak accident).... I, Jonag, should be elected because of my increasingly successful attempts to defeat liberalism by out-breeding them. As we all know, liberals like to abort their babies or at the very least give birth to only 1.7 children per liberal household. I have, as of this writing, given birth to 4 future conservative Republicans. I have also devoted my life to their indoctrination by homeschooling them (which allows me to fill their minds with ideas from great thinkers such as Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Frank J. Fleming, not to mention John Adams, Patrick Henry and Thomas Jefferson). At this rate, within 30 years, my little conservatives will have given birth to their own little conservatives, thus increasing my Republican progeny at least 4 fold. And in 50 years... well you do the math (Frank!). I have also been thwarting liberalism by engaging in a monogamous, heterosexual marriage for the past 17 1/2 years and doing so quite happily (which really torques them). Not only should I win, I outright DESERVE to win! All the other contestants are too young and therefore are still in training for true conservative womanhood. I, on the other hand, am already living it and have begun to pass it on to the next generation! Remember....Choose wisely. ~Jonag * * * * Now it goes to the judges: I've turned off comments so there will be no influencing the judges. Each will pick their top five ranked (5 points for first place to one point for fifth place on a jusge's ranking), and hopefully there will be no tie so there won't be some messy runoff. Since these bloggers can be busy (and I need time to make my picks), I'm giving the judges the weekend to send it their votes. The winner will be revealed Monday morning. Good luck to all the contestants. May the best babe win. (for reference, here are is the original contest announcement) 77 Responses To "The IMAO T-Shirt Babe Candidates"
SarahK all the way! In the immortal words of Butthead: "I love you." #1 - Posted by: A fine scotch on April 29, 2004 06:32 PMSarahK it is, in a runaway. 1. She's really hot. You're a lucky man Frank. You have many smoking lady fans. #2 - Posted by: Powderfinger on April 29, 2004 06:43 PMWillow can serve the beers. SarahK can defend them. The other babes will form the defensive perimeter. #3 - Posted by: Alan S. on April 29, 2004 06:44 PMI'm having trouble picking between Nony Mouse and Serenity, they both seem really cool, although since Nony Mouse doesn't have a blog she is more mysterious. Of course, SarahK rocks the house. #4 - Posted by: Sean on April 29, 2004 06:46 PMBerkeley girl would get my vote...although I am just basing this on hotness because I'm too lazy to read all the statements. #5 - Posted by: Mike on April 29, 2004 06:54 PMI won't say my favorite here because it will throw off the judges and bias the competition, but there are some nice women here. I had a friend interested in competing (and she would have held her own here, trust me), but we couldn't get together for me to snap her picture. #6 - Posted by: Hal on April 29, 2004 07:12 PMPowederfinger said: "3. She knows who you are, and I don't think you want to piss her off." sarah K is really Santa Claus??? hmmmmm... #8 - Posted by: krakatoa on April 29, 2004 07:42 PMI'm like a kid in a candy store filled with attractive and smiling candy, some of which weilds deadly weaponry... er, ok, so the metaphor really doesn't work. But what the hey? *Turns on his CD player and starts playing S-E-X-X-Y by They Might Be Giants* Thank you, contestants, and thank you, Frank J. #9 - Posted by: Flakbait on April 29, 2004 07:58 PMSerenity and Miranda definitely the hottest, and had clever statements to boot. That's my vote, which I don't have. #10 - Posted by: Jacob the Libertarian on April 29, 2004 08:35 PMSarahk all the way!!! She is a hottie. If you read her blog, you will also find that she is smart and very funny! Again I say, Sarahk all the way!!!! #11 - Posted by: Jessi on April 29, 2004 08:45 PMWow, how did I stumble on to the stupid and ugly girl contest? This interweb thingy has the weirdest things on it. FBM #12 - Posted by: Fun_Blame_Monster on April 29, 2004 08:45 PMNo one can compete with Sarahk. #13 - Posted by: Andy on April 29, 2004 08:49 PMMy favourites, in order of appearance, are Elise, Lydia, SarahK, Nony Mouse, and Jonag. I'm glad I'm not a judge. #14 - Posted by: aelfheld on April 29, 2004 09:06 PMWow!! I made it into the top five!! Totally cool!! #15 - Posted by: jonag on April 29, 2004 09:17 PMToo...many...attractive...women...can't...choose... &^$)(^$#%*&&&&&&&&&&&&&&[BRAIN HAS PERFORMED AN ILLEGAL OPERATION AND WILL BE SHUT DOWN. ABORT? RETRY? QUIT?] #16 - Posted by: Evil Otto on April 29, 2004 09:22 PMSerenity. By far the hottest. I don't know what you guys are talking about. Brunettes are so much hotter! #17 - Posted by: on April 29, 2004 09:36 PMI'd be happy with either BerkeleyGirl, Jonag, Nony, or Serenity winning. Though I'm not sure it's appropriate to have someone with their own blog being your t-shirt babe, frank. A conflict of interest could arise. Nony would loose points for obscuring her face in her pic (she could be trying to hide something- like french-lookingness) but her "hawkish" statement makes up for it. #18 - Posted by: Ovrlord on April 29, 2004 10:33 PMWell, someone had to do this. I hope there's no rule against post size here. This is an all American blog tho, and bigger is better, always ...right??? The entrants are all so compelling, and there are so many good things to say about them all, I figure somebody should spell out the negatives. SO in order: 1) Willow: Willow is wearing something that while intensely hot, also suggests a German lass. German? Nazi? I don't know if that's the right look for IMAO. 2) Joanna: Hmmm... Didn't Mark McGuire play for the Cards? And wasn't he using steroid type stuff when he broke the home run record? Yeah, maybe it's all a little cloudy, but still, could cast it's clouds over IMAO. 3) Kelli: Obviously we must have our doubts about her. Hair does not look that good in real life! Who else get's their hair doctored for special occasions? KERRY! Probably not a good association for an IMAO babe. 4) Elise: How can you trust someone to be an advocate for all things IMAO if you can't check out her background? LOOK AT HER PIC! NO BACKGROUND! Sure it doesn't necessarily mean anything, but it leaves room for questions. 5) Miranda: She is smiling like the cat that ate the Canary. Oh yes, it's a beautiful smile, but do we really want people to say, "Yeah she's a babe, but she also eats cute defenseless canaries!"? 6) A Recovering Liberal: What's that behind Amy? Wood Paneling? or Al GORE! It's a tough call, but it could come back to bite IMAO in the pinky-toe. 7) Megan: Red hair. Freckles. Hellooo? Chucky??? Obviously this lovely lass is NOT Chucky the demon doll, but you know how comparisons will inevitably be made. 8) Adela: I hate to say it, but Adela looks just too happy to be killing Islamo-fascists. Don't get me wrong, because nothing makes me happier than watching terrorists die. But you know what people will say. They'll say we LIKE killing 9) Lydia: Lydia has made the classic mistake of wearing a fanny-pack in FRONT. Do we really want people to see a picture of her and wondering why a Platypus is wearing a Nuke the Moon T-shirt? And that had better be the ragged dismembered arm 10) Heather: Ok, this is nit-picky. Anyone else see the subtle message to the leftists out there? Drawing attention to her LEFT ear??? Granted, she is a conservative babe, and this is pure coincidence, but the IMAO babe should always be 11) CCinCali: She's smart. She's beautiful. She even wears camo flip flops. But what's the deal with that speaker huh??? The right-hand speaker not good enough to listen to? Shouldn't the IMAO babe never have a left-hand speaker? Really. Get with the program! 12) Serenity: Stone-cold Killer of paooki. Beauty, brains and excellent instincts. Does she have a weakness you ask? How about the fact that as IMAO babe, she may be called upon to pick up a cat for a cute picture. She walks over to the cat then WHAMMO, slips and breaks her ankle. I see a liability problem for IMAO. 13) Sarah K: This was a great photo shoot for her. What about the photographer? Well you can't ask, because this was the last thing the poor photog ever saw! Part of being IMAO babe means you CAN'T SHOOT ALL THE PHOTOGRAPHERS. No photographer, no picture. No picture, no visible means of persuading the masses that conservatism is the wave of the future! 14) Shell: Ok, I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking this. The IMAO babe should be able to be topical. Conservative enough to not change for change's sake, but at least progressive enough to know that spandex had it's day, and it's day is over. The pearl necklace was a nice touch of class, but as IMAO babe, the poor IMAO staff 15) Nony: Dark. Mysterious. A menacing presence from the shadows. Very compelling, but her name... her name reminds me of all the Japanese I know how to pronounce: Noni?! KORI-wa NUNdiska! See, I have know idea what that really means, or even how to spell it. And shouldn't our IMAO babe be able to represent clarity at all times? 16) Berkeley Chick: I agree that it would be hard to go wrong with this candidate as well. Except for one thing. You've given the left a picture they can work with. All they need to do is airbrush out the bumper sticker, and boom, they can circulate the photo as one of you supporting the left. Yes, it's a good joke, but sometimes in politics, the jokes come back to haunt you. Now if only you'd just gone and demolished that sign with an M-16 or something... 17) Beca: Sure, you're wearing possibly the best cutoff shirt ever worn. Sure you've got the Jennifer Connelly thing going for you. Think you've got it all sewn up.. but wait a minute... what's going on behind you there?? You haven't finished locking the door with the chain! Granted, you probably just opened it to let in the photog, and didn't think to re-lock it, but the IMAO babe should be aware that monkeys are being taught by Move-On.org (org -- orangutang? you be the judge) to pick locks and turn doorknobs! They are having much more success with the monkeys than with the hippies. But MONKEYS are dangerous to the cause as well, and you should never give them an opportunity like that, especially when representing IMAO. 18) Berkeley Girl: Must be something in the water in Berkeley. A near perfect candidate. But for one teensy tiny little thing, I really hesitate to bring it up... but WHY ARE YOU LOOKING LEFT with a slightly confused look on your face? Of coures I know it's because that's the direction the hippies come from, and beating hippies into quivering masses of tie-dyed goo is in large part facilitated by early-warning of their approach. And of course you are a little confused that a whole 5 minutes has passed in SOCAL without an opportunity to actually beat a hippie. But once again, you've given the left an opportunity to say Hey LOOK, this conservative babe still looks to the left whenever she's confused. 19) Teri: This one is difficult. Tastefully attired. Little peek of belly button sexiness. Excellent setting. Ooo... and the coup-de-grace... NO LEFT ARM! Hmmm.. speaking of no left arm, I think I'm stumped. 20) jonag: What a subtle little flag she makes... Red arms, white shoulders and blue shirt. Bravo jonag... but what's that? Yeah, that thing with your head? Is that a NOD to the LEFT? Granted, I know you're just telling the photog "as soon as You know ladies, sometimes it's not about doing what's right, but not doing what's LEFT. On that basis, Teri could be our winner. #19 - Posted by: krakatoa on April 29, 2004 10:33 PMSarahK: a Babe with a Gun, does it get any better? #20 - Posted by: 655321 on April 29, 2004 10:39 PMSo you here you have this babe. Not only is she the hottest amongst the bunch, you can see in her statement *and* picture she's ready to take on any liberal that's around (and there's plenty of those around there). This is not just empty rethoric or some pansy little blog either. This babe also works and writes for a magazine Is there any reason not to choose Reva Alavian / BerkeleyChick as the IMAO T-Shirt babe? Exactly.. Imagine the smile on the Limey's face is someone else were to win. Surely he will burst out into singing another song against The Machine. Do you want the Limey to win on this one? Well? DO YOU, Frank J? Or are you secretly a commie who doesn't like making money from capitalist T-shirt sales? Quite FRANKly, my vote is probably impossible without photo editing skills. The girls are located all over the map. I vote for all of them. A group shot in the shirts. Why pick one when you can have them all in the pic? #22 - Posted by: Joe on April 29, 2004 11:13 PM*Looking at Krakatoa from between her fingers* OMG...that is definatly going to be a hard decision. Lots of intelligent, beautiful, conservative women. Thank you Frank for showing the world they actually do exist! I'm gonna have to say Megan, Joanna, Adela, or Reva. Geez, glad *I* don't have to judge this. #24 - Posted by: Red Mist on April 29, 2004 11:15 PMAw shiittte. Wasn't even thinking German/Nazi implication when I chose the photo (from Halloween, was St. Pauly girl), was simply thinking Hot Chick/Alcohol, two visages which tend to impart a sense of happiness better to insure a vote for me. And as for a gun? Hello??? There's two of 'em in that there photo, boys. Lugers. **Wh-pish!!** YOU VILL FOTE FOR ME UND YOU VILL LIKE IT!!! #25 - Posted by: willow on April 29, 2004 11:23 PMWillow: points for being able to correctly spell the whip-snap effect! :D #26 - Posted by: krakatoa on April 29, 2004 11:46 PMBerkleyGirl, I am in love! Maybe I should have followed my hippie uncle's advice and looked into Berkley. It appears I may have been a much happier college student. Mamamia! #27 - Posted by: James Doney on April 29, 2004 11:51 PMNony: I'm sorry. I haven't read much Agatha Christie. :P Besides, I have my thumb up to block what is obviously an attempt to pinch my face: "*Looking at Krakatoa from between her fingers*" (I counter your Agatha Christie reference with Kids in the Hall!) heheh #28 - Posted by: krakatoa on April 29, 2004 11:51 PMLet's keep this simple. I like Serenity. Am I the only red-blooded male in America that does't have a reflex to vote for blondes right off the bat? Jason #29 - Posted by: Jason H. on April 30, 2004 12:10 AMBerkeleyGirl is #1, SarahK is #2. Case closed. #30 - Posted by: drunkenmaster on April 30, 2004 12:27 AM*tries not to look guilty and wipes her lips discreetly* What canary!? awwwwww, my little sis praised my babeness, plugged my blog in the process, and didn't even tell people she was related! thanks, sizzle! and thanks to all who said nice things about me, i'm still in shock over all the attention! hey, krakatoa, i can remove the bullets, it's the only way i know how to control myself w/ the photographers, especially the poparazzi. man, BerkeleyGirl is gonna kick my pinky-toe! boo to you, BG, for being so hot! :P #32 - Posted by: sarahk on April 30, 2004 12:57 AMI know! It's a good thing she's my friend, or I'd have to use my tricky business tactics to make her *disappear* for awhile. #33 - Posted by: BerkeleyChick on April 30, 2004 01:03 AMSorry guys, the blondeness got to me just a bit too much... But BerkeleyChick, how would we ever pick up all the guys in the bars without our *special technique* if I disappear?? =P Love you all, can't wait to see the results on Monday! Well I said it's a good thing that you're my friend, and that is part of it. ;-) And I'm probably going to drive myself insane reading comments before Monday rolls around! #35 - Posted by: BerkeleyChick on April 30, 2004 01:44 AMme too, BerkeleyChick! i had plans to get sooo much done today, but this has been far too distracting! #36 - Posted by: sarahk on April 30, 2004 01:56 AMSerenity's very cute. A close runner up is Berkeley Girl. The other ladies were just pipped at the post. #37 - Posted by: Quentin on April 30, 2004 02:25 AMElise! Marry me? #38 - Posted by: Jolly Roger on April 30, 2004 03:27 AMTop 5 SarahK With them, the babeness is strong. #39 - Posted by: 655321 on April 30, 2004 04:44 AMBerkley Girl is wicked awesome!! Some of these ladies though, my god, are you freakin kidding me?? Save the whales . . . #40 - Posted by: n00b on April 30, 2004 08:05 AMSerenity and Miranda - you are gorgeous, and were I a judge, I'd be torn between the two of you. Were I Frank, I'd pick you both... Good luck! #41 - Posted by: beo on April 30, 2004 09:13 AM? "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy" The IMAO T-shirt Babe contestants, as a group, are so hot I felt guilty looking at them on my computer at work, even though they are (mostly) fully clothed. Serenity, your essay is priceless and took me back to college, where many drunken hours were spent on composing lewd and/or scatalogical verses to 'My Favorite Things'. (More verses, please!) Shell, yours is a truly cunning strategy for the WOT. I will be making the case to my wife this very evening. Thank you all, ladies...and a very special hat tip to all the rounded, ample, curvy, classically-proportioned, um, womanly women that participated. (Some of us like that.) #42 - Posted by: scott on April 30, 2004 09:52 AMVote for Willow. She hot and can she blogg too!!! Check out her site: http://whompingwillow.typepad.com That's an easy vote to cast - just like voting for Bush. #43 - Posted by: Paul on April 30, 2004 10:04 AMAll are righteous babes, of course, but SarahK is a runaway lock combination of hotness and good writing. #44 - Posted by: J Mann on April 30, 2004 10:21 AMSerenity all the way. Even if she was downright fugly (which she quite obviosuly isn't!) she deserves to win because of her statement. That was just plain awesome. Serenity for T-Shirt Babe! Failing that ... I'd say Jonag. She's done her part in the fight against liberal stupidity. What else can we ask for in an IMAO T-Shirt babe? And she's also pretty good looking. :) #45 - Posted by: Uber-Fascist on April 30, 2004 01:14 PMjust because I'm a sexist bastard I vote for Reva because she has the biggest hOOters #46 - Posted by: R.L. Hunter on April 30, 2004 01:49 PMAll of you SarahK fans are insane. Serenity rules. #47 - Posted by: Michael E. Lopez on April 30, 2004 02:03 PMI'm not even a hooter guy and I think Reva's smokin'! #49 - Posted by: spongeworthy on April 30, 2004 03:19 PMMegan, BerkelyGirl, Serenity, Miss Beca, and Reva are my top 5, though in no particular order. Can we have some... err... more exposing photos to judge by? (gets in hidey-hole with 3" steel plating to avoid SarahK's .44 wrath) #50 - Posted by: MKX on April 30, 2004 03:37 PMSorry, but how in the blazes can you choose? I am like so much happier to be living in an America on the planet Earth with every one of these fab babes. Everyone is a winner in my contest ... which, of course, is quite the fantasy land. Unbelievable. I live in the Bay Area, and I went to Cal. When politics comes up as a topic, the nicest, prettiest girls always wind up saying idiotic things like "the US got what it deserved on 9/11." Frank dangles a t-shirt, and women flock out of Berkeley to post dishy pictures and write smart things. I need to start a blog. #52 - Posted by: Max on April 30, 2004 04:24 PMWe feel your pain. *bites lip and sticks out thumb* Same thing with most guys here. We need some sort of secret symbol, like the Jesus fish, to identify one another. #53 - Posted by: BerkeleyChick on April 30, 2004 05:14 PMMost definitely. It gets lonely here... we need a Conservatives (not so) Anonymous for the Bay area- we kind of have one through the club on campus, and it helps, but it's just not enough! #54 - Posted by: BerkeleyGirl on April 30, 2004 06:10 PM my vote's for berkeleychick. she's hot and models a tshirt very well. I feel so loved! I highly approve of this contest. =) #58 - Posted by: BerkeleyChick on April 30, 2004 11:14 PMYou are all magnificent. Witty, charming, some of you heavily armed. God I love this country! #59 - Posted by: Dave in Texas on May 1, 2004 01:07 AMOh, wow. IMHO, it's a three-way tie between Miranda, Reva, and Carissa. Conservative women are so hot... Choose, Frank, choose! #60 - Posted by: Xoxotl on May 1, 2004 08:19 AMFifty quatloos for Megan Weilacher - she is absolutely astounding. #61 - Posted by: Salieri on May 1, 2004 10:31 AMI'm kinda glad I didn't win the IMAO is Super Great contest (See my sycophantic letter to Frank here: http://www.imao.us/archives/001381.html), since I would have a hell of a time choosing between these girls. Had I made judge, I guarantee Reva would've gotten major bonus points for her love of sporks (My friend and I used to stock up on 'em every time we went to Taco Bell. Ah, those were the days). #63 - Posted by: Chris D on May 1, 2004 12:15 PMGlad I am not a judge, all these babes are babelicious. Oh well, now just to find out who won. #64 - Posted by: anstranger on May 1, 2004 02:08 PMLOL @ Salieri "Your women, man. I want to buy your women!" #65 - Posted by: krakatoa on May 1, 2004 03:38 PMI really only entered because Frank J. sounded a bit worried at the lack of entrants, but boy am I glad I did! I must say, I would vote for Williow because that was one heck of a picture, girl you have the best smile! Or Serenity, for her statement, picture, and blog all way heavily in her favor. Or perhaps SarahK, because you have to admire the way she handles that gun. To all the Babes though, boy did we give the judges a tough competition! And Krakatoa, I've got to tell you, the chucky comparison brought back some weird memories of public education, but thanks for calling me lovely. I especially enjoyed being called intelligent, beautiful, and conservative by Red Mist. And thanks to MKX, I was flattered to be included considering the many hot chicks there were to choose from. And Salieri, if you look like Kirk did back in the day, we can perhaps strike a bargain! #66 - Posted by: Megan on May 2, 2004 12:06 AMI am a first-time visitor to IMAO. There are some strong candidates, including the woman with a facial expression that indicates indifference pointing a pistol at the camera. Nice. However, there can be only one, and judges, take heed; there is only one to choose from. Carissa (aka Berkeley Girl) is, IMHO, ultra-sweet and the obvious choice. She has everything anybody requires to be a superior t-shirt model. What does the shirt say? Who cares? She'd look good in a Che Guevera or a Pat Buchannan shirt. What style of t-shirt is it? low cut? mock turtle? wife-beater? Again, this matters not. Carissa has the hair, eyes, lips, neck, shoulders, bust and curves to make any style of shirt shine like the sun. She would make anyone want to read the small print (please, let me read the small print). These are the facts. Hopefully the judges will choose wisely. If my opinion meant anything, I would go on longer. If physically threatening someone would do any good, then I would punch any man, woman or child in the face for this "Carissa". Thanks for a great first-time visit. I suggest holding such contests on a weekly basis. #67 - Posted by: jake8675309 on May 2, 2004 11:17 AMHmmm. Am I the only one who finds Miss Becca enchanting? Actually, I meant that as a wager and not as an offer to buy Megan. But her response has just made my day. And my week, in fact. #70 - Posted by: Salieri on May 3, 2004 01:29 AMyeeee-ha, y'all sure are right 'bout them there camel jockeys...freedom fur everybody and we'll kill ya if ya disagree! Sure am glad we've put our political trust in upstanding souls like Bush, Limbaugh, Wolfowitz and Cheney. I'd sure hate to have to think for myself...freedom of choice? not if you're a damn trrst...naw...nrgh...fffnk #72 - Posted by: * on May 3, 2004 07:57 PM"In the War on Terror, I feel it's my duty as an American woman to wear clingier clothing, flirt more outrageously, have more orgasms, and get on top more often. Whatever is taboo to the islamofascists is on my to do list for the day. Pass the pork chops." Michelle, you RULE. #73 - Posted by: Joe on May 3, 2004 09:32 PMTo the bitch COW who wore the shirt "War is Sexy": Stupid women are NOT sexy! This site must surely be that part of the internet where shit and spittle bubbles up! You obviously mistook that for a bosom. In general, this site is a big circle jerk of psychos, marginal personalities, and the mentally constipated. (have you tried a laxative?) "Conservatives" are NOT cool and the posters here may trace their origins to a single faulty condom. CLUE: no one wanted you! And they still don't. The posters to this "board" are the most effective argument yet for birth control. SECOND CLUE: Rush Limbaugh is a seed pod, a drug addict, and a goddam liar! And his mother dresses him funny. If his belt were any higher, he would choke to death. The world would be improved. But --that's the only way he can keep his pants on --tightly around his stump shaped neck. I wonder how long its been since Rush has seen his dick!!! And no one wants to see what you mistakenly call "tits". Have you tried working off that gut at the gym? This site does, however, disprove Darwin. Mankind did not evolve FROM apes, but BECAME apes with the election of Ronald Reagan. Man became slugs with the "election" of George Bush --who was born stupid and deteriorated! Get your head of your stupid un-sexy ass and get a life, loser! #74 - Posted by: Scourge on May 5, 2004 09:47 PMScourge, you seem to have your head so far up your ass you're in danger of becoming the world's first human Mobius Strip. #75 - Posted by: Bill H on May 5, 2004 10:40 PMWoman is Gods greatest creation #76 - Posted by: red donga on May 24, 2004 06:33 PMAre Arabic Women forbidden to be on top? #77 - Posted by: Red donga on May 25, 2004 06:04 PMPost a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts 
 
 
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|
Stumble It!
