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April 29, 2004
Top Ten Things Overheard from Insurgents in Fallujah
As I yet again steal David Letterman's intellectual property (hey, I'm pretty sure one of his writers once stole from me), here is: TOP TEN THING OVERHEARD FROM INSURGENTS IN FALLUJAH 10. "I'm not scared of any infidel U.S. Marine... but those camels, man; they bite. 9. "Just out of idle curiosity, do you still get 72 virgins if you're shot in the back while running away?" 8. "It doesn't matter that the U.S. troops have better weapons, better tactics, and some concept of hygiene, because we have Allah on our side! He will... Hey! Allah is escaping out the back! Someone stop Him! Allah, You coward!" 7. "I know we should be more concerned with this holy war, but I think it would be nice if someone subtly mentioned the Atkins diet to Sadr." 6. "There is some point to this insurgency other than getting us all killed, right?" 5. "I just can't stand those infidels with their loose women who walk around uncovered! By the way, does anyone have more pictures of that outrage?" 4. "I think Sadr may be inflating the amount of support we have, because it looks like half of our fellow 'brothers' are just monkeys dressed up in bandoliers." 3. "If we hide in a mosque, we'll be safe. No one would bomb a mosque... other than us, I mean." 2. "Stupid Americans trying to make things better for other people! Did it ever occur to them that some of us like festering?" And the number one thing over heard from insurgents in Fallujah... "I'm not just going to stand around here waiting to die. F**k this Shiite!" 12 Responses To "Top Ten Things Overheard from Insurgents in Fallujah"
Nice #1 - Posted by: Dan on April 29, 2004 09:13 AMHow come you never sent hate mail to Letterman? #2 - Posted by: beo on April 29, 2004 09:14 AMForget Atkins for Sadr, I'd like to see him on the Fallujah Beach diet... Less Carbs, More Lead Intake (this diet can also be supplemented with a side order of shrapnel) #3 - Posted by: kuhnzoo on April 29, 2004 09:23 AMDamnit, how am I supposed to influence the judges in the t-shirt babe contest without the ability to comment! Swaying the opinion of duely appointed representatives is my God-given right as an American! Many entries were good. Miss Beca shows excellent t-shirt modeling ability. Serenity gets lots of points for ... well, for being Serenity. You'd think she might be satisfied with being the best female blogger on Earth, though, and let someone else be the t-shirt babe. Reva and Carissa score big for maintaining a bastion of liberty and reason in the socialist blockhead capital of the world; the fact that they're both totally hot is incidental. But the hands-down winner is sarahk, for her very alluring combination of sexiness and firepower. Her entry correctly anticipates the IMAO male readership's attraction to cute, armed blondes. Most perceptive.
Bumper sticker on terrorist technical... "My Dad died fighting the American dogs in Fallujah, and I'll I got was some lousy raisins. Allah be praised.” #5 - Posted by: rockynoggin on April 29, 2004 10:13 AMFrank, LMBO, #s 10 and 5 are priceless. sandor, why thank you! #6 - Posted by: sarahk on April 29, 2004 10:27 AMFriend of mine in the 1/27 told me he overheard #1 thing a lot. Usually after they fired an RPG at an Abrams and noticed it didn't stop. Well, he thinks it was number one. They were screaming and running away so it was hard to tell. Great T-Shirt babes. Beauty, intellect, grace. This will be a tough contest. #7 - Posted by: Dave in Texas on April 29, 2004 10:54 AMDamn you, sander! Oh, you're right..never mind! #8 - Posted by: CCinCali on April 29, 2004 11:58 AMhey Frank you might want to put a not work safe tag on Michelle's Pic, umm nuff said! #9 - Posted by: Dq on April 29, 2004 12:16 PMI'm just disappointed that the sun angle meant that actually seeing the details of my t-shirt was almost impossible (It's a female mouse, holding a gun, courtesy of CBLDF). That and the actual size of the picture that was scanned was about an inch and a half tall, so you've go major resolution issues going on there. #10 - Posted by: Nony Mouse on April 29, 2004 02:49 PMInsurgent: "So al Sadr said if we don't fight the Americans he will eat us. Next thing you know, we're all fighting. Damn, that boy can eat." #11 - Posted by: LibertyBob on April 30, 2004 09:00 AM"If we hide in a mosque, we'll be safe. No one would bomb a mosque... other than us, I mean." This may be the most perceptive summing-up of the war on terror I have ever heard. Nice one. #12 - Posted by: Ofc. Krupke on May 1, 2004 02:51 PMPost a comment
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