Can't forget about buying more ammo. Terrorists hate it when they go to Cabella's and all the 7.62x39 is sold out. Not to mention if they know you have more ammo than they do (or even all of Afganistan), they tend to steer clear of you.

Oh, and for once, FIRST!

I'm surprised you didn't promote the IMAO's Know Thy Enemy shirt as a means to fight Terrorism!?!

Fun facts to reinforce the vigilance necessary to thwart terrorism...

i agree with kuhnzoo, Buy Frank's KTE: Terrorists t-shirt. and the other ones too.

We can put Michael Moore posters at all the really important place's the terroist won't risk blowing him up.

Light a candle, and keep it lit. That is, keep a candle lit so that you can quickly put flame to the fuse of your cannon, and blow all the idealist scum away!

I've got two .45's that I carry on my person, also. Know what they say about great minds...

find a way to hook michael moore up to a fat-burning car, you could drive forever. or hook his mouth up to a crap-burning car, same mileage.
james old guy:
forget the posters, put moore himself in front of whatever target terrorists have selected, all that fat would absorb any bomb, leaving the building and people unharmed.

I'm with Frank on the bacon thing. I think we need to start hanging bacon strips and other pork products around our national monuments and gov't buildings. Let's go all the way and rename all malls and major stores after pork products (our local mall "Barton Creek Mall" will now be known as "Pork Loin Mall"), Piggly-Wiggly stores wouldn't even have to change. Guns, Lots of Ammo and Pork, these are the things that will keeps these scum-sucking parasites out. In fact I think we need to petition the Fed Gov't to issue all willing citizens M-16A2s (Full Auto so we can Rock'n'Roll on these "Targets"), 5000 rounds of ammo and 20lbs of bacon and let us defend America.

The way to remove all the terrorists out of the country is to have EVERY SINGLE RESTAURANT serve only BLTs, Baby-back Ribs, and Sausage McMuffins.

If Canada agrees to sell us their bacon at a cut-rate price then we can give them partial credit for our success.

Wait a minute, Canadian bacon ain't real bacon. Try frying it up with a couple of eggs and see what you get. Not bacon!

Next you'll claim French Toast is really toast? I think not.....

Just put up huge posters of NSYNC in all major cities. Play "BYE BYE BYE" 24/7. Any terrorists will spontaneously combust since their eardrums are not acclimated to the bowels of hellish teen pop.

Yumm, nothing burbs' better than bacon. I'm wearing a bacon suit with bacon underwear right now and am fully armed, just in case. BTW, anyone know how to get rid of pesky dogs? For some reason these dogs are following me everywhere. Oh wait, I'll train them to snif bombs not bacon.

If you hang up giant posters of N'Sync and play "Bye, Bye, Bye" 24/7, then I am liable to blow something up myself.

How about racial profiling?

Train dog tha the word hippy or Islamic Radical=Go for the jugular.

When I suspect someone is a terrorist and they ask me for directions to an important building or some such, I always lie and tell them the directions to somebody I don't like. The bad guys either go to the wrong place, or they get frustrated and give up.
Nothing better than screwing with the heads of morons.

Jonag,

We can't racially profile with my plan.

Why?

Well, between you and me, it will also rid us of the jooooos! (Well, at least the kosher ones.)

If we run out of bacon we could salt and hickory smoke Michael Moore. Once done he'll look like the biggest side of bacon in the world. Just don't eat him. He'll taste like salty, smokey shit.

Hey Frank,

Regarding the holsters, did you go dual shoulder, dual small of back (SOB), or classic old west gunfighter?

Eleventeenth!

I feel a song comin' sond

Guns, ammo, & pork
oh my
Guns ammo & pork
oh my
And sometimes
guns ammo and Spam
but mostly
guns ammo and pork

you can keep your Steak Um
give me pork loin and bacon
hollow points and fourty fives
terrorists give me hives
(but not when they're dead)

Guns, ammo, & pork
oh my
Guns ammo & pork
oh my

Okay, Dumb question:

Y'all with two guns, is it so you can fire with two hands or is it too slow to reload? I've tried shooting with my left hand and can barely in the broadside of a barn, and I'm not near as accurate with the right hand if I don't use a Weaver or Isosceles type stance.

JFH,
Good question, I myself can't hit anythig real well with my left hand, but in the 2 gun scenerio, the left hand could be for "Spray & Pray" and right for more accurate shooting. Also having 2 guns, you are correct in that the second gun could be transferred to the right hand faster than reloading a clip and rechambering a round.

maxi-pads, glow sticks and a decent dog collar and leash. those chicken shits....

Wet t-shirt contests, definitely wet t-shirt contests. Remember how popular they used to be? Remember how few terrorist attacks we used to have? See? If it were an IMAO t-shirt the effects would be totally crippling. Do they come in white?

Why carry 2 handguns? Because 3 is just too cumbersome, and there aren't enough hands to go around. Unless you're a mutant, in which case you probably don't need a CCW because you have awesome mutant powers.

Actually, you carry 2 concealed weapons so you can do a "New York reload" if the situation warrants it..

--Simple. We announce that the new penalty for terrorist activities will be stacking. Terrorists HATE stacking.

--Then... when we have them all stacked up... we pretend to take their picture (see? we can learn from past mistakes!).

--Then... we drop a thousand pounds of bacon on the stack from the large bacon storage cannisters mounted to the ceiling.

--Then... we seal the doors and windows and turn up the special floor heaters to "high".

--Then... we drain the grease and sell the big, fried mess to Michael Moore's army of personal chefs- telling them it is a "Middle Eastern delicacy". (They buy everything in bulk, I would imagine)

--Then... we watch him get even fatter... and we laugh because he is eating his friends.

oh, Devil Dog, you made me laugh. haha.

--*eyes wide*

I... little old me... made THE IMAO T-shirt Babe laugh???

--Oh Glory of Glories...!! I -- Am -- SOMEBODY -- NOW !!!!!!!

--Seriously though, Frank... you were not so far off base with your bacon idea.

Muslim fundamentalists launched their suicide attacks against Israel and the U.S. with a firm belief that they will immediately go to a paradise populated by 72 black-eyed virgins.

The "Catch-22" to a Muslim fundamentalist is that they firmly believe that if they touch anything from a pig at death, they are doomed forever.

Imagine what would go through the thoughts of a suicide terrorist onboard a bus in Israel or America as he pushes the button on the bomb taped to his body, and then his gaze sees a bag of pig lard glued to the bus, just above the heads of the innocent passengers.

I wonder how soon signs will begin appearing outside stores and clubs saying; "protected against swine with swine"?

--To continue: General Blackjack Pershing was faced with the islamofascist problem a century ago. This is a true account:

Before World War I, U.S. General "Blackjack" Pershing put down an Islamic insurgent movement in the Philippines by having 50 captured Islamic fundamentalist terrorist tied to posts for execution by firing squad.

In full view of all 50, Pershing had his men slaughter two pigs. Pershing's men next dipped their bullets in the pigs blood, making sure the horrified terrorists watched.

Blackjack's men shot 49 of these terrorists, dumped their bodies in a common grave and covered them with pig parts. The 50th terrorist was let go and returned to his comrades.

After this, it took 42 more years before there was another serious Islamic terrorist incident in the Philippines.

is your holster a small of the back holster. i wanna see/where can i get one.
thanx

hahahahaha! GOOD. The only good redneck is a dead redneck. Bye-bye americans, poor little americans, had it so hard for so long. tickticktick BOOM! Two more towers going down...

--Hey- If you're a "ruski"... then YOU'RE the one with the red neck!!

ah, touche! i see that i have an intellectual sparring partner here of some mettle. i am cowed.

--You're a cow...?? I thought you were a ruskie...?

--Hmmm... or maybe a ruskie cow. Frank! Do they have those??

As far as I know, they have communal cows. Ya know, kind of like the town whore, they get equally f***ed by everybody!

The only good commie is a dead one. Their twisted views of a utopia have caused more death and destruction in this world than we'll ever accuratly be able to count. In other words, don't have a nice day ruski.

Bah.
*end of rant*

heheheh- baiting is fun

Baiting a hook with a commie is even more fun....

the IRA would never team up with a buch ofqueer muslim terrorists they would just start killing them

Forget racial profiling. That will just get you in trouble. We just need to have all the cops carry BLT's and offer them to anyone suspicious. If they refuse, arrest them.

Actually, anyone who runs from a cop, or "pig" should be targeted!

I lube all my guns with bacon grease and load my spud (anti-terrorist rpg) gun with one of those handy cans of Canadian bacon.

They hate that.

I think we should employ METHODS of mass destruction tactics on these towel-headed terror whores.
Wait for one of their silly holy days where they file into the mosque. Once they're inside chanting and banging their heads on the floor; the strike team will secure the ingress/egress points, launch whatever explosive devices they have, bar the doors, and enjoy the screams of pain as the terrorists die in flames.
Lest anyone consider the aforementioned act to be cruel, I must point out that they would be acclimated to where they're going to spend eternity.