Frank, you know all them democrats will get mad if you tape his hate speech and air it.

Probably because they didn't get a chance to make their jew-hating speeches first.

First to say first.

Well, you got to HAND it to him. He isn't one to turn a BLIND EYE to an opportunity to spew hatred. I guess it's better than listening to Gore's STUMP speech, although the two of them probably sound a lot alike. Maybe they should HOOK up.

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

hey i go to OSU and i think i saw him on highstreet sparing for change?? maybe he sold his hand for some money to kill some jooooos. i think we need to help him finish off what he started with his hand and his eyes, more of them need to fall apart like that then maybe the middle east will actually be a desert like it wants to be...well cept for Israel we all want that to exist if we want to keep God's blessing...of course the Gore bot is plotting to kill the jooooos too so maybe we should watch out he might turn blind and chip off his hand as well soon and kerry will shape shift into his true cleric self.
matt

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

i just got the random Gore bot quote hehe pretty funny.
matt

Gee I didn't know you could go blind AND wear down your hand to a nub too!

Frank,

Are you SURE this isn't one Tony Petin of 'The Limey' fame?

LOL @ Greywolf

What a team that would be Al Gore and his adviser Mohammad Hook.

So that is what Allah looks like, no wonder all the virgins.

I followed the link. It's too bad Britain won't extradite unless we promice not to use the death penalty.
Even though he can't get the death penalty for his terrorism and conspiracy crimes, I'm sure he'll j-walk and get the death penalty on a "three strikes you're out" deal.

This is offensive to pirates.

Apparently his mother never told him "Don't run with that hook on your arm, you'll put your eye out!"

See, the less you actually get out and breathe non-pre-hated air, the less pre-hated you become.

Why are terrorists always so ugly?

He became blind the first day he got his hook...

His eye itched.

What's funnier about this guy is that he's British. I love the brits, they're our peeps. There's just something very unscary about a british terorrist: "I am here to destroy all you bloody infidel chaps!" Uh,ok.

Gese, all these guys are ugly. But you got to feel somewhat sorry for him. They need to get a little poontang and learn some self-respect...and maintenance.

My theory is, if you survive a suicide bombing, you being the bomber, then Allah must have blessed you by sparing you and whatever is left is considered holy. If you are holy, then you must become a cleric.

I want a neat hook to call my hand. I mean, just think of all the fun, cool things you could do...the downside is that if that guy were right-handed it just became a lot harder to wipe the ole' bum after a messy number 2.

"What's funnier about this guy is that he's British. I love the brits, they're our peeps. There's just something very unscary about a british terorrist: "I am here to destroy all you bloody infidel chaps!" Uh,ok. "

He's not British - he's been stripped of his citizenship, thank heavens.

(And CCinCali, I was actually wondering that myself!)

He going to do great in prison with that can opener he has.

He's the stuff nightmares are made of. Mommy!!!

hooks for hands are so cliche, i mean, dont these terrorists have any imagination?

Remember children, static electricity and electrical blasting caps don't mix.

P.S.---I think I'll pass on picking up the 'Demolitions for Dummies' help book. (Besides I've still got all my old FM's packed safely away...)

I did a quick search for blind, crippled and paralyzed muslin clerics and found this.

Mullah Mohammed Omar - Blind in right eye
Sheik Ahmed Yassin - Blind and Paralyzed
Abu Hamza al-Masri - Missing Right Hand and Left Eye
Sheik Omar Abdel-Rahman - Blind
Abdurrahman Wahid - Blind, Two Strokes
Sheik Hamoud al-Shuaibi - Blind

I think Allah is trying to tell these guys something, but they don't seem to have got the message yet.

Some of them are now dead.

(I'll bet they sure were suprised to see Moses and St Peter at the Pearly Gates. Especially when they told them to Go to Hell. Literally.)

Go to Hell.
Go straight to Hell.
Do not pass Go. Do not collect 72 virgins.

Do you think if we introduce them to SpongeBob SquarePants, it would change the face of Islam for the better?

please sir, more C-4?

He'd make a great *Hook* to Robin William's *Peter Pan.*

He may be versed in the Koran and all the Suras therein. Perhaps if he would have read the Jewish Bible and read "As you sow so shall you reap." Or again, "Sow the wind Reap the Whirlwind"

What kinda cleric is this guy if he can't cast Magic Missile?

So that's what blind hatred looks like.

They say in the end, you get the looks you deserve.

loudest_mute, you big dummy, Wizards cast Magic Missile. Clerics cast Cure Light Wounds (they're also supposed to be able to cast Cure Blindness and Regenration, so this guy obviously isn't a very good one).

Sheesh. It's like I'm the only IMAO reader who's still cool enough to play D & D.

S

Back in MY day, we didn't PLAY D&D. It was for real!!!!

Damn kids these days.

hehehehehe

Where'd ya hide my depends, bitch?

Dr Hook needs put to death.

U want him spewing hate while mingling w the general population?

think about it.

thanks for clarifying things for me sandor. I shoulda known that by now.

Then again, I was supposed to move out of my parent's basement by now...

Man, I should have made this a caption contest. You people crack me up.

Caption: Hey boo watch me pull a one handed part blind militant out of this stocking cap.

So Frank, you think that if you flatter everyone they won't notice today's slim-pickins?

The only good left-overs is lasagne.

Technically Sheikh Yassim or whatever isn't really paralyzed...

That beotch is DEAD... thank you joooooooos.

Of note, our cleric is missing both hands. When your that ugly, at least one hand is pretty much a requirement - oh the humanity. Of course "Hooks" is a pretty cool nick name.

"Morrrrrrre Brainnnnnnnnnnsss!"

The caption: "As I've said repeatedly: I will not accept the Democratic nomination for Vice President, nor has the Kerry campaign made any such offer."

Apparently hate is blind, too.

Caption: "The Swan Plastic Surgery Team's greatest challenge..."

next up on ER...(deep voice) "a blind hated cleric has hooked himself in prison to get his 72 virgins when er comes to the rescue.... (doctor) "hurry we must put his heart back in while it's beating"...."Nurse are you sure that's a heart it looks kinda black"......doctor-"these werd looking creepy terrorists all have black hearts"..."well what do we do about his eyes?"-this is hopeless we'd probably do him a favor if we didn't save him........
tune in next week as ER attempts to split a monkey in half without animal rights groups getting mad

Caption: Pass that sh** G. Stop bogarting the hooka bro!

Caption: This just in...young couples no longer need to fear making out in your cars in the woods. Evil "Hook Killer" found in Britian!!!

"The doctor said not to pick at my eye"

The United States and RIAA have joined forces to bring to justice the radical islamists who download music of kazaa

I just realized no one will get that

Wesley: "To the pain" means the first thing you lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists, next your nose.

Abu Hamza al-Masri: And then my tongue, I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

Wesley: I wasn't finished! The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right.

Abu Hamza al-Masri: And then my ears, I understand! Let's get on with it!

Wesley: WRONG! Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shreik of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out "dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish. Wallowing in freakish misery forever.

Oh, beo, you have made one of my favorite movies even better!!!!

Entrepreneur,

I was at OSU in the early eighties, and I think that dude was hanging out on High St. back then – the hook was on his foot, though.

Caption: "But Officer, I Am a Noted Muslim Cleric, I'm not drunk, the swerving is due to I was trying to pick my nose....."

Wow - check it out!!
Look at the picture of this "Muslim Cleric" moron and a picture of Michael Moore, other than the hook and rummy eye, they could be brothers!! Same dumb look, same rats-nest beard, bloated face and same terrorist tendencies.

caption - Mom always told me I'd put an eye out if I ran with scissors but she did'nt say a damn thing about my hand.

Or are they they the same person?? Raving, Liar, Bloated, Maker of Fictious Left-wing Terrorist Loving documentaries during the day and Raving, Liar, Bloated, blind, and hooked, Maker of Fictious Terrorist Loving speeches during the night... IT'S MUSLIM CLERIC !!! defender of the shit-for-brains, baby killing, cowardly terrorist!!

It's Darth Vader without the mask and cool outfit!

dman, Brian said first first in his first comment. It was the last word, not the first, but it was first no matter how you look at it. You were acutally the second to say first, as far as this set of comments is concerned, seeing as how it's the first set of comments for this post.

So no bragging rights for you!

That explains why the teacher never called on him in class.

"Okay, anyone know why you wont be getting 72 virgins? Raise your hand...er...hook"

Caption:

(Normal voice)
"So Hookie, what do you want to do now?"

(High falsetto without moving his lips)
"I don't know Abu. Why don't you have a drink of water while I sing a song?"

Caption:

DANGER Will Robinson! DANGER!

Caption:

I'm a lil' teapot, short and stout.
Here is my handle, here is my freakishly scary razor sharp hook...

Caption: "What was that, Lassie ? The Evil Infidel Americans are trying to extradite me!! Well I will just have to slash them with my wicked right hook and give them the Evil Eye to scare them off!!"

Hey Abdulla, if you go and blow up that crowded market place, I'll "hook" you up with 72 virgins!

Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock

Where's a giant friggen Gator when you need one?

What does a pirate put in his tires?

ARRRRRRRRR!!!

I appologize for being Random, but I just downed a pot of coffee.

Caption: As Al Gore's Twin I agree with the Gorebot on every point.

Caption: What happens when the GoreBot's batteries run low

--Mr. Minority: Regarding your theory that they are the same person: I have looked into the matter and I can say with some certainty that Michael Moore (Hereafter called "Stinky the Hollywood Ass-Clown", or "Stinky HAC") and this guy (hereafter to be called "Stinky the Pirate Ass-Clown", or "Stinky PAC" for short) are NOT the same person.

--Although, as you noted, their agendas are eerily similar and there are striking physical similarities; the evidence is that they are two different land masses. I submit:

1. Remember, Stinky PAC was captured in England while Stinky HAC has been in France getting his enormous ass licked by hundreds of foul smelling french people and media entities. As it undoubtedly takes quite some time to properly cover anything that large with kisses, we can assume that he has been there a while and will remain even longer.

2. Testimony from people who have been around each of them in person strongly suggests that Stinky HAC smells WAY worse than Stinky PAC- although both were reportedly able to kill household-type plants with their respective odors.

3. Although not very prominent, Stinky PAC does, indeed, have a neck.

4. Finally, and most damning for your theory: there is a secret video circulating that shows Stinky PAC and Stinky HAC TOGETHER, sharing Ho-Ho's and Butter-Toffee, while walking together, hoof- in -hook, through Central Park.

--It was a good theory, though, Mr. Minority... keep up the vigilance, Citizen! We need more like you out there! As always, I and my Truth Squad will be around to keep the light of fact shining in these dim times!

*Upon losing his job as a Muslim cleric, Abu Hamza announced today his acceptance of a new position, the official spokesmodel for Trojan condoms. Trojan CEO said "We felt he would be a good example that some people's sperm can actually rot and pond-dwelling, putrification is the result. His mother should've swallowed."*

"ARRRRR I've got termites in me leg!"

OR

"The hand? That would be the Israelis and their .50AE"

OR

"Mommy look at the pirate!"

OR

"This is what you get when your role model was captain Hook. Who said dreams can't come true?"

Caption:
"After losing his right hand abdulla's life has been very difficult, He still, for example, refuses to wear glasses, and putting his contacts in every morning is a bit bothersome, as one can see from the picture. Also, shaving seems to be nearly impossible. and for some reason he always p*sses on his shoes."

Commercial:
(fade into desert scene with Arab mother and young son)
Mother: Abdul, If I told you a once,I told you a million times, don't play "Hide the Falafel" with the camels!!!

Abdul: But Mom they are so much fun, and make really neat squealing noises.

Mother: Son, if you keep that up, you will end like this!!

(large picture of Abu Hamza al-Masri)

(voice Over) Just Say No to Camel Fornication !!!

"You best start believing in ghost stories, Miss Turner... you're in one!"

--"I tell that stupid woman ten thousand times, 'don't store my cuff-links near the blasting caps- I can't tell them apart!'"

--"They eye? Oh, it offended me one day."

the dyslexic Muslim cleric thought the canister of Sarin said "rasin" and thought, yippee! one of my 72!

OR

i spent a week at an Al Qaeda training camp, and all i got was this lousy hook.

OR

shoot. i have a nose booger, and i'm not going to make the same mistake i made w/ the eye boogers!

if this is a caption contest, my vote goes to:

>So that's what blind hatred looks like.
>Posted by Joe Mama at May 28, 2004 09:21 AM

i also vote for this one:

> Apparently hate is blind, too.
> Posted by Ned Schnittt at May 28, 2004 12:40 PM

Oh geez these crack me up. Especially the teapot comment from Former Hostage. hahahaha
My pithy contribution:

"Hey, my hook looks the right size to hold a John Kerry sign! Quick Razzim, give me one to wave angrily like axe at the joooooos!"

"I knew I should have had that flesh eating virus that appeared spontaniously looked at. Allaahhhhh!!?!?!?!? Why you abandon me???"

Dude, Where's My Hand ?

Former Hostage gets my vote (as if I had one :P)!! Love the little twisted teapot song! Thanks for the giggle!

caption: Don't Mess With Texas

Caption:
I swear I did not have sexual relations with that woman!

To Anyone who has lost their hands and is blind in one eye: I was not trying to offend you, and I am sorry, now get over it.

To Muslim Clerics who have hooks on their right hand and a rummy blind left eye: DIE sucker, and may your 72 virgins be Hillary Clinton !!!

--SarahK: "shoot. i have a nose booger, and i'm not going to make the same mistake i made w/ the eye boogers!"

--Too damn funny!!! Priceless!

--(Mine were good, too, though...)

DeathMatch 2004 - One-Eyed Willie from the Simpsons and Abu Hamza al-Masri the Mad Muslim Cleric from England... Stay Tuned!!!

I just had to add this one:

"Arrrr, I have a southern accent!"

caption - When I had a choice for pink panties on my head or my hand chopped off I should have picked the damn panties.

"yo ho yo ho a terrorist's life for me!"

caption: This damn Hook keeps causing runs in my pantyhose and prayer rug!!! I hate when that happens!!!

The story I heard was that Hook told the Brits that he had been wounded fighting in Afganistan, but that he really was injured when a home-made bomb he was working on exploded prematurely. BTW, I saw some outrageous numbers about the "dole" money and huge house the taxpayers are providing to support this "political refugee", his wife and 8 children. As a woman myself, I can truly say that I thank God everyday that this guy will never play "hooky" with me...

"Please, take my hook!"

"At first I thought a 4-bladed razor was a good idea, but, well, now I think differently."

"Anybody seen my fish-scaler attachment?"

"Just say NO! to IEDs."

"*RIIIP!* Damn! Now I need a new tie! Damn hook!"

"4 more years! 4 more years! 4 more years!"

"Please, take my hook!"

"At first I thought a 4-bladed razor was a good idea, but, well, now I think differently."

"Anybody seen my fish-scaler attachment?"

"Just say NO! to IEDs."

"*RIIIP!* Damn! Now I need a new tie! Damn hook!"

"4 more years! 4 more years! 4 more years!"

You all know muslim boys undergo circumcision at the age of 13? So if these guys are blind, how many muslim boys still have balls?

"I have now taken to scrathing this wooden plankinstead of my body for two reasons. One: I don't feel like pretending to be a woman so I have an excuse to cover up my bloody, scarred body. Two: It gives my balls a nice vacation."

#7 by Connecticut Yankee, my ABSOLUTE favorite!

All the others are pretty good too!

"If you think my eye looks bad, the day I got the hook I also had a bad case of jock itch"

"Shush, All I did was ask to try the infidels boca burgers, then they do this!"

at the radical cleric press conference:
"next question... you. yes you. you maam. im pointing right at you, cant you see im looking and pointing right at you? damnit i hate these press conferences."

IMAO.US, the only weblog with a NIGHTSHIFT for commenters.

Hostage's Teapot and the Danger Will Robinson are great!.

He deserves a free tshirt or something

On the up side of things he can still learn to play the harmonica and, you know, like, maybe form a blues band in prison with a name like 'Blind Melon Hamza,' and climb up the pop charts with a break away hit called "Cleric al-Error?"

Greywolf: 'hook up' have you no shame, man? (Don't stop.)

"No Don't be silly. What lies have the Amercans told you? I am not like this because Allah is vengeful. No, of course not I am because those Imperialistic-(Machine gun fire)Those dogs they sold me out to the Americans!"

*White house*

"Thanks again for finding that clerice for us, God"

"No problem George. I'm omnipotent after all, what else could I do?"

GUILTY: Of TOTALLY failing to seize the opportunity to wear a black eye patch AND have a hook for a hand.
SENTENCE: I say we chop off his left leg at the knee, replace it with a wooden peg and condemn him to a life sentence as a prop in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" exhibit at Disney World, where retired Jews and their grandkids from the around the world can mock him for all eternity.

"Remember, kiddies, once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend."
-------
or
"If you think we won't win in our holy war against the American infidels, well, you can just talk to the han... I mean, the hook."
----
or
"Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometime I don't..."

Little Sunni Abu boo
( Little Bunny Foo Foo)
---
Little Sunni Abu boo
recruiting for the Jihad,
hookin' up the Infidels
and giving Bin Laden a hand.

And down came Ashcroft, and he said:

Little Sunni Abu boo
I don't want to see you
hookin' up the Infidels
and killing them for Islam.

And now I'll give you one more chance, and if you do that again, I'll turn you into a goon.

Little Sunni Abu boo
kept recruiting for the Jihad,
kept hookin' up the Infidels
and giving Bin Laden a hand.

And down came Ashcroft, and he said: I'm tired of your blind hatred spewing shenanigans, so now I'm gonna turn you into a GOON!

And the moral of this story is:
Always remember,
Radical Cleric Today, Ass Pirate Prison Goon tomorrow!

This is what happens to men who use the cliche "on the other hand" or "there's always another point of view..."

Now that there is no other hand, and he has, well, what we would call tunnel vision... doesn't it make sense that he is a radical muslim cleric?

Give it up for Abu Hamza al-Masri our Queer Eye for the Jihad Guy makeover. Stop clapping. I mean he really needs for you to give a hand and an eye. Seriously. And he could use some man-scaping on that facial hair too.

"Yarr, the jihad'll keep us from revertin' to homosexuality...for about ten minutes, har har!"

"Pass that shi'ite, yo!"

Hey fella, can you give me a hand with this?
Friends,Romans, Countrymen, lend me a hand...
I can see clearly now, the hook is gone...

"I just had to go and say it couldn't get any worse."

I am Darth Goober. Give in to your hatred. Come to the Stupid Side

"AHHHRRR! When's Talk Like a Pirate Day this year, me hearties?"

"Hi Mom! I'm on TV!"

or

"You should see my left hand..."

Does anyone know HOW he lost his right hand?

I mean, cutting off the right hand is a punishment for a thief in Islamic countries, isn't it?

Infidels, you think I look bad, you should see the other guy. Come to think of it I wish I could see the other guy.

or

You can have my RPG when you pry it from my cold dead hand, Oh you already got it? Nevermind.

or

I'm, too sexy for my hand. Too sexy for my eye.

or

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts ARE missing.

(Appologies to Monty Python)
Abu: As you all know, since the explosion I'm only half a man.

Terrorist in the back row: Yeah, and you also lost your eye and hand.

Your hand's been cut clean off!

It's only a scratch! Come back and fight! Chicken! Chicken!

You're a looney!

Remember kids, only YOU can start Jew-hating wars.

It all started one day, when i mixed up the green wire with the red wire.....