"Is that a baggette in your pocket, Monsoir???"

Schroeder "Hand check Frenchy, Both my hands are on your back, only one of your hands is on my back"

or

Chirac "Turn your head to the side and cough....and tell me you love me"

whatever happened with the last caption contest?

Shall we dance?
On a bright cloud of music shall we fly?
Shall we dance?
Shall we then say "Goodnight and mean "Goodbye"?
Or perchance,
When the last little star has left the sky,
Shall we still be together
With are arms around each other
And shall you be my new romance?
On the clear understanding
That this kind of thing can happen,
Shall we dance?
Shall we dance? Shall we Dance?

Schroeder: My God..your head... It's full of stars!

"What do you mean you're leaving me for Spain??"

--OR

"Ixnay on the issingkay in ublicpay!"

Schroeder : I'm not french Jacques, but I kiss that way.

"Hitler would have loved this guy."

You know, I didn't believe them when they said you could look in one of Chirac's ears and see out the other, but they were right!

"I'm new at this, so be gentle."

"Mein Gott! This frog's breath really does smell like cigarettes and cheeze!"

BTW the lyrics in my caption are from the "King and I" in case anyone was wondering.

*snicker*snort*
Oh mon ami, your Jack Elam impersonation always cracks me up!

"What do you mean, you want to pitch?"

AP: Gerhart Schroder was released from the hospital today after having his eye checked. A spokesman said that he did not suffer any serious injury. During his greeting of French President Jaques Chirac, Mr. Chirac leaned forward to to kiss Mr. Schroeder's cheek, misjudged the distance, and ended up poking him in the eye with his nose.

Slip me the tongue once more froggy and I'm goin' Waffen on your derierre!

"Gerbils?? You never said anything about gerbils!!!"

What the f*ck is that in his ear?!?!?

--This one just keeps writing itself!! How many times can we post??

Shroeder: Yeeuck, can't you spit on Bush AFTER I'm out of the line of fire!

"You let go first!"
"No! You let go first!"
"No! You!"
"No way! You first!"

Just a comment, not a caption:
Doesn't this look like a cover for a Gay Romance novel?

Jaques: Hey, where are you going?
Gerhart: Oh, sorry babe. Gotta go. I have to be at work real early. I'll call you later, OK?

Gerhard you remind me so much of my last love, Gerard Depardieu

In the incident that kicked off the first openly gay menage-a-trois among international leaders, Gerhard Schroeder is shown putting a move on Jacques Chirac while winking at Vladimir Putin. When asked to comment, Schroeder snarled 'Not now! I have to go occupy France and invade Russia.'

"Well, okay... I guess you can call me 'Grrrr-Hard... but why?... Oh! I get it!!"

Never fear, mon cheri, the love letters from Saddam are safely tucked away in my ears. No, behind the cheese.

I kiss French and I make love Greek

On this episode of fear factor. Who can hug the smelly frenchman the longest without vomitting.

"Come on Schroeder! Only 2 minutes 3 seconds until you beat John Kerry's time and advance to the next round"

Chirac: "Gay marriage is now legal here." *wink, wink*
Schroeder: "Is that what's poking me?"

Nuke the what?!?!?!?!?!

"Remember, my darling... leave your window open tonight... I'll be 'invading' you at midnight! Remember to wrap up in a white flag like last time!"

Chirac: "HAHA, remember when your country invaded my country, and we were occupied for years? Oh, man, last night was so much fun."
Schroeder: "I told you never to mention that here!"

"I got your European Union right here, baby!"

Chirac: "You feel my right hand? I told you John Kerry was nasty."

"Of course I feel them! Yes, they feel natural! I just thought we were going to wait for the public announcement before you started the hormone treatment, that's all!"

"Was that you?"

Schroeder: "The Precious will be ours once the hobbitses are dead!"

He's got a bit of the Gollum look going on there.

Man are we two huge fruits or what!!

"Thanks for the 'hair gel', My Love!"

No, I'm not Marty Feldman, just let me go.

The end is near Frank you bonnie lass you. Oh yes, the end *is* near....

Damn Jacques, did you just pick up the first bottle you saw on the Eckerd's counter and take a bath in it or what?!?

I'm not letting go until you blow my eyeball out of your nose...damn cocaine freak, that white you saw was not a powdery substance!

Earlier today, Schroeder and Chirac were spotted at a Massachussetts courthouse...

Schroeder:

"I see Nuthink! Nuthink!"

Chirac:

"What do you mean no one has ever escaped from Stalag 13?"

Caption:

Proof: Not even the Germans can stand the French!

Caption:

Hey Chirac, Seen any Joooos?

Jacques, is that a big hunk of Limburger cheese in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

"Feel like invading anything French, Mein Herr?"

"My God, your ear... your smell... you are disgusting! Take me, Frenchy!!"

Schroeder: "Why did you just kiss me?"
Chirac: "Why are you holding me so close?"
Schroeder: "Where is your other hand?"
Chirac: "Between two pillows."
Scroeder: "Those aren't pillows!"

Freedom Fries? I'll show you Freedom Fries!!

That was supposed to be "Show THEM Freedom Fries!"

Damn. Now it's not funny.

At last the horrible truth hits Schroeder while he attempts to knee Chirac in the groin for slipping him "the tongue"; Hitler was right, the french have no balls!

He looks like Egor! In case you were going to pick this one, Frank J..this isn't a caption..just an observation..

I can tell you find my Gilbert Godfrey impersonation sexy, ja?

Chriac: Leet me shows zou ze true meaning of being Saddam-ized! Zhis I learned from ze Beast of Bagdad!
Schroeder: I am your Deutsch Hunde! Make me bark like the little bitch I am!

"Great, now all the other countries are going to say Germany is just as gay as France. I guess we'll have to invade Poland again to assert our manliness."

As the secret love potion wears off, Gerhard begins to realize what he's been doing...

"Whoo, what's that stink? Oh yeah, must be the Frenchman."

Wrong end! WRONG END!!!

"You want to do WHAT to my Puppy?"

EH; Jaques! Is that a pin in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Chirac: "You look beautiful with your hair so precisely mussed up!"
Schroeder: "Yeah, it's cool to be gay these days"
*hugs*

Trust me Frank, I went to Europe with my buddy and every single man there looked like a woman or equally as flamboyant as Elton John. They take metrosexual beyond gay.

Frank,
You study aikido, so I'm a little surprised you didn't recognize this move. What you mistakenly refer to as 'chemistry' is really a hapkido move that involves clutching your adversary, swiftly yet gently pulling them close to your chest, then, while closing one eye, impaling them with your eyebrow.
Love,
Alice

Your gun is sticking into my hip. (Waitaminute, we hate guns.)

"We'll always have Paris..."

"Sure my little Schroedy, I'll surrender to you tonight - just no blitzkreig like last time, ok?"

"I vill now bite your pallid, waxy, smelly french neck- and you vill be my dark minion forever!!! Mwuuaaaaa- haaaaa- haaaaaaa!!! Oh, vait... you already are my dark minion... Oh, vell... I bite that nasty neck anyvay!!"

"Gerhard, let us make love, not war!"

"Can't we do both, just like in 1940?"

Hey Chirac, a little to the left...

Mon Ami, Surrender to me. We'll meet later, okay?

Enough DevilDog! You're hurting me. LMAO

--You think I can stop, MarginMI??? I WISH I COULD STOP!! THE DAMN PICTURE HAS POSSESSED ME!!!!

"But I thought you LIKED my eyebrows!!"

"Bastard! You break up with me now, in front of all these people, because you think I will not make a scene!! Well, you are wrong about that!! Who is your new hussy??? It's that new Spanish Prime Minister- the one with the really big socialist agenda- isn't it!! ISN'T IT!!!!???"

Get your hand away from there before I blow my rape whistle!

We figured that with two pairs of these huge ears, we could just hold on tight and fly away with the wind.

---------------

Schroeder: "I make this funny face because Chirac is reminescent of Sonic the Hedgehog, and God knows we Germans hate Sonic the Hedgehog... and the jooooos.

"What?? No underwear at all?? Oh, you little french tease!! You are a saucy bitch, aren't you?? Now I have to think of this all day long!"

"What do you mean youv'e never heard of imao.us???"

"I'm as hoppy as a leetle giiirl!"

Man, I have seen that much ear hair in one person's ear.

Even though they had played this game many times, the length and girth of the butt plug was always a little shocking to Schroeder.

"...No, I'm telling you Chirac, GORE is the one who kissed his wife on stage during the 2000 US Presidential campaign, not Bush. It doesn't work, so stop asking everytime you see me. The people... they just don't like to see PDA like that anymore. It doesn't matter that we both support each other when no one else is around..."

"Hey, Schroder, have you seen the latest IMAO T-Shirt Babe? Let me tell you, buddy, you've got to head over there and check her out. I've got about a hundred of those "Nuke the Moon" shirts now. Just don't click on the winning picture if you know whats good for you; I did and about messed my lederhosen."

"I surrender my body to you, mein fuhrer!"

RE: the last caption contest:

you know, frank, if you have a caption contest you should announce a winner instead of blowing off the contestants. you owe it to your readers

Please G_d no tounge, Please G_d no tounge

Schroeder: And are you experiencing any discomfort?

Chriac: Just a little burning during urination.

Schroeder: Okay, any other pain?

Chriac: The haunting memories of lost love. May I? (signals to Gore) Lights? (Gore turns down the lights and Chriac lights a cigar) Our eyes met across the crowded hat store. I, a customer, and he a coquettish haberdasher. Oh, I pursued and he withdrew, then he pursued and I withdrew, and so we danced. I burned for him, much like the burning during urination that I would experience soon afterwards.

Schroeder: Gonorrhea?!

Chriac: Gonorrhea!

Hahah, excellent one Josh... though I don't see how it relates to the picture, it's still hilarious.

Shroeder: I haven't felt this way since I was a little girl!

"Remain still for a few moments longer, Chancellor, and De Villepin will grow tired of probing your rectum.

It's his hobby, you know."

LOL... It's going to be hard to pick a winner.

"I TOLD YOU I didn't want to smell your finger, you nasty bastard. And no, I'm not pulling it either."

"We'll always have Paris." !!! Now that's classic!

Schroeder's thoughts: Hug..Frenchman??? This is a foreign concept; I only know about killing Frenchies and taking over their land...

Chirac's thoughts: Thank God he hasn't invaded me yet, thank God he hasn't invaded me yet...

Chirac to Schroeder: "Try not to show any reaction since the cameras are on us, but I have some bad news. FrankJ is going to feature us in a caption contest."

Random sidenote: WTF was the GERMAN chancelor doing at the D-DAY Memorial Ceremony anyway?

*sniff* *sniff* Whats that smell, you French poser?

This is has got to be one of the funniest pics I've ever seen.. I've been chuckling at all day.

My lame attempt:

"Yearrgh, mein lederhosen is bunching up something fierce".

Seriously, Schroeder looks like he just let one slip. Channelling Cheech.. "geez, I hope that was a fart!". And do men actually hug that way? Usually both guys sling at least one arm over the other's shoulder, maybe he's too short, but this looks really gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Let us dance under the moon and invade each other over and over again.

----

So would like to take a tour through my Arden

---

Oh god he promised he was going to take a shower.

Mein Gott!!! Ist das Limburger?

schroeder-"son of a gun, this man really has no spine".

Chirac: "Saddam never writes or calls me anymore..."

Schroeder: "Ahww man! He's gonna start crying again, geez.."

hahaha!! scott! It's funny, cuz it's true. But I still love Devil Dog's "Ixnay on the issingkay in ublicpay!", but quite alot of these made me laugh. Good luck Frank.. tough choices.

Did your axis of evil just get bigger?

The room key's in my coat pocket.I'll be there in an hour-you brought the lube didn't you?

Who taught you how to dance?

With all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve his love every morning
And butterfly kisses for life

I've been in France!

_____________________

That's it Frog! Give us back Alsace-Lorraine or I'll crush you spine like a soda can!

_____________________

Viral Pathologists are shocked to discover that Mad Liberal Disease, after infecting Howard Dean and Al Gore, has now spread across the Atlantic.

_____________________

Hey, your pen is leaking . . . oh gross!

_____________________

Hey Esmeralda, wanna see my belltower?

_____________________

Jacque, don't look directly at the ark, or it will melt us all!

_____________________

There's nothing sadder than two decrepit socialist regimes trying to prop each other up.

_____________________

THIRTY YEARS LATER: Son, as weird as it sounds, this is how World War III got started?

_____________________

The collision of these two forces then create a critical mass of obtuse irrelevance, causing the space-time continium to collapse into a black hole of obsolescence.

_____________________

Chirac has to hold back his inebriated buddy after the Polish and Czech Presidents give him the finger.

_____________________

Hey, that crazy baby-faced guy over there is wearing a t-shirt that says "Nuke the Moon"! Holy shit, he's pointing a .45 caliber at us!

"In the morning? I don't respect you now!"

"No, don't make me horny. You wouldn't like me horny. YEEEAAAAARRRRRRRRGGG!"

My government spent $200 billion.

So that Lynndie England could taste some "Terrorist" dick...

Ahrgh, the smell, my eyes are burning.

"Zat is not a gun."

Schroeder: So it is true- Frogs really don't shower after all.

sleep with one eye open... gripping your pillow tight...

sarahk,
Funny, I'm listening to that song right now.

what do you mean frenchie? i can spank my own monkey!!

that's creepy.

Damn it, Jacques! If you poke me in the eye with your nose one more time, I'm going to give you a wedgie you'll never forget!

AP: Schroeder (left) peeks to see if Chirac keeps his eyes open while making out.

"Gerhard, do that silly American cartoon sailor again"!

"Skodely-oh-doh-doh. A-guh-guh-guh-guh-guh-guh guh-guh"!

Mmmmmm, is that earwax or a leftover Saddam Condom?

--My last one (promise):

"Ya, ya- I smell it, I smell it! Now- back to kissing!!"

Hey, I said "No Tongue!"

I show you von more time, Jacque. Ven I vant to you vote no, I vill close mine LEFT eyeblinker, Das undershtood?

Bill Clinton said to use a cigar, NOT A GUITAR!!!

"Schroeder, I have some cheese we can eat mon ami, hands up, it's zee time to vogue messr"

"okay, I vill tel Bush I vaz only volloving orderrz"

Phwooaaaaarrr!!! Now that's what I call a nice bit of multilateralism!

AP: G. Schroeder's worst nightmare comes true. At least he saved money on his car insurance.

OR

Nein! Nein!

OR

You can see the homophobia in Schroeder's eyes... er, um, eye.

OR

The touch, the feel of cotton. And by cotton, I mean Chirac.

Oh! what is that stench?! When I said my favorite fragrance is ‘toilet water’ I mean that stuff they sell at Robinsons May…

OK, I blame Mel Brooks for this one...

"Eye-gor, can you help me with the bags?"
"Soitenly! You take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban>"

Ever get that not so fresh feeling...

Schroeder: Woah, when's the last time you brushed your teeth?
Chirac: Hmm....let me see, I think, 20 years ago. Yes, it was when I was meeting Saddam. Very nice fellow, I wanted to surrender to him one day.
Schroeder: Man, hey, put your hand in my left pocket, there's some breath mints in there. Nooo, that's not it.
Chirac: Oh, hehe.

"What? What did you just do to my face?"

"Its an old French Custom. Wait until you see what I can do with my tongue."

Fischer said there was a little button on his ear; just like in "Men In Black."

That damn Bush and his superglue!

caption: Gee I hope Frank J will declare a winner to this caption contest so we can stop hugging!

"My God, man. Put on some deodorant! It smells like something DIED in here!"

or

"Ahhh...so THERE'S where that smell's coming from!"

or

"Arrr...wanna see me PIRATE impression? Arrr..."

AP Newswire: "After indulging in stinky French cheese, the French President embraced the German Chancellor. In a show of European unity, M. Chirac and Herr Schroeder agreed to run to McDonalds for a Big Mac after the G-8 had concluded."

Whooooah!! Jacque is that you or your poodle humping my leg?

Are you sure your not Micheal Moore?? You both have the same lovable hug...

Or

I thaught I just saw chomps....

Come on, Jacques. Maybe if we act all gay and sodomize each other, all of the bad people in the Middle East who want to kill us will change their minds and leave us alone!

"Give us the precious! It's our birthday gift and we wants it!"

It's all fun and games till Chirac tries to slip you the tongue.....

Jaques, is that chocolate starfish that I taste on your lips ?

Like giddy teenage lovers, the two bi-curious socialist leaders can't help but keep their eyes open for their first kiss.

"Take me, you Alzheimers-driven hunk of brute! Take me now!"
"Who the F*CK are you, and why are you humping my--ohhhh..."

"Hey, aren't you the guy that used to drive the school bus in 1953?"
"Yep. I was also the guy that came to test your matress while you were sleeping. You were always very good with your tongue."
"Oh yeah, that's ri--wait, WHAT?!"

"Hunnybunchkins!"
"Oof--I thought we agreed on invading the other end in public, daddy."

"You know you need it! Hey, I need it too! Alright, you know you need it! It's good for youuuu--You don't move! You know you need it!"

"Honey, come on now, that song is just so last week. Sing that Barbie one to me, please. You know how well it turns me on..."

"You won! You won! You won the grand prize!"
"Yay! What is it?"
"Me, hun. Don't worry, I've got plenty of lube..."
"Oh my god, you mean, like, for protection?"
"No silly, for your asssssssss..."
"Oh! Oh, that's ok then. For a minute then, I thought you were going t--uh oh."

"So! Wanna get biz-ey?"
"Like, ew! I only f*ck on the first 327 dates! I'm sorry, but you're gonna just have to do me this time."

"I sure do hope that's toothpaste in my eye.."

"But I don't wanna grab your ass! You paid me to get groped, and by god - also know as me 0 you're gonna get groped!

Wait, what is that I can feel passing back and forth underneath my crotch?"

*by "0" I meant "-"
__________________________________

"You mean you're not Miriam?"

"Why are you scatching my balls?"
__________________________________

And that's the last caption from me!

Well, for now, at least.