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June 10, 2004
The Charge of the Ronin
A ronin is a samurai who's master was slain. In the old times, a samurai would commit seppuku if his master died, but that was outlawed centuries ago in feudal Japan. Thus, all those mourning Master Reagan, you are not to disembowel yourselves. It is our duty to live on with honor, fight for our nation, and seek vengeance against the enemy in his memory. Those who swore allegiance to Master Reagan are now ronin, and we must ensure our blades are sharpened and ready, for our duties still are many. DUTIES OF THE FORMER RETAINERS OF MASTER REAGAN: * We fight all enemies of America and American principles, even if the enemy is quite large and speaks a strange, angry sounding language. * We never surrender our principles, even if offered money or yummy candy. * In all areas of life we conduct ourselves with honor, and we sever the necks of those who show dishonor. * If we see stupid hippy, we explain to hippy that he is stupid and a hippy. * We then beat hippy. * We then explain to hippy that he was beaten. * When the Democrats show dishonor in fighting terrorism, they are to be shunned. Their symbol, the donkey, is to be cut down on sight. * A bowl of jelly beans should rest upon one's table in remembrance of Master Reagan. * Those in the military are to fight with honor abroad. Those who are civilians are to fight with honor at home in defense of those risking their lives on the front. * The French are to be threatened with harm whenever they speak. Their white flag of surrender are to be spat upon. * The media is to be distrusted; we, who no longer serve a master, must get the truth out by reading and writing in our blogs. * Always stand up for the principles of America when challenged; if a rogue will not relent in his slander of liberty, then the matter should be settled by clash of swords. * If the slanderous rogue does not have a sword, cold cock him and run away. * Any remaining Communists are to be slain on sight with no honor given to him. They are less than peasants. * If apple pie is ever threatened, you are to stand firm in its defense. * The way of the samurai is serenity; if a rogue tries to break a samurai's peace by shrill lies, the rogue is to be ignored if he cannot be smitten quickly. Breaking our serenity is all the rogue wishes to achieve. * He also might be trying to boost book sales by getting attention. Just ignore the idiots. * You must vow that your sword shall seek the blood tyrants throughout the globe. * A samurai is always fearless and prepared for battle; his actions each day should be to fight for the founding principles of America. He is never to relent. These are the duties of the ronin who wish to honor Master Reagan as I have now written them. They may be added to or changed as needed, but the principles of the samurai are always the same: he is foremost a warrior who will fight with honor for the principles of his master. If you are ready to take on these duties - and this is not a decision to take lightly - then you may use this banner to link to the principles of the ronin:
Master Reagan defeated many enemies in his day, but there is still much battle to do to preserve America and the world. Thus we must fight on to honor Reagan-san. You know where I stand.
41 Responses To "The Charge of the Ronin"
I hasten to fill my bowl with jelly beans this very day, sensei. #1 - Posted by: slimedog on June 10, 2004 08:48 AMyes, everyone must fill their jellybean dishes! just before i read this, i was contemplating actions i could take in master reagan's memory. now frank has made clear the path we all must take. #2 - Posted by: Rikor on June 10, 2004 09:05 AMThank you, sensei! I needed that. Now I have a productive avenue to channel my rage and sadness into. Frank, I think I foresee a T-shirt in the future: Reagan's Ronin #3 - Posted by: CroMagnon on June 10, 2004 09:22 AMHey Frank You've been ripped off (no credit or link even). Top Ten Reasons Liberals Hated Reagan http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/100513.html #4 - Posted by: M1A1 on June 10, 2004 09:24 AMOn my honor I will do my duty to God and My Country... #6 - Posted by: Josh on June 10, 2004 09:31 AMYou evoked a memory...in the early 80's I had a bumper sticker on my car 'WARNING I DON'T BRAKE FOR COMMUNISTS'. I remember a 'hippie' giving me the finger as he drove by in a 'rice burner'. It made me all warm inside and had a big smile on my face for the rest of that day. I honor Reagan-sensei every day. #8 - Posted by: CPT. Charles on June 10, 2004 09:49 AMFrank-san: Since Reagan's death I was unsure what to do with myself as a Ronin. Thank you Frank-san on your wisdom and insite. It has helped guide the way, to a better tomarrow. It is what Reagan-sensi would have wanted. Peace, Love, Liberty and Jellybeans for All! "* We then explain to hippy that he was beaten." --This one is my favorite... it shows that we are willing to reach out and help them understand the world. --Frank, your cause is just and honorable. You have my sword (and my M-4, .45, .44 mag, .357, 30-06, M-14, and various other weapons and explosive thingys). --Oh, and my Ka-Bar... you definitely have my Ka-Bar. #12 - Posted by: Devil Dog on June 10, 2004 10:15 AMum, Frank, what if they offer us Chunky Monkey ice cream? money and yummy candy i can resist, but... #13 - Posted by: sarahk on June 10, 2004 10:36 AMChunky Monkey? Sarahk, you must resist the temptation to partake of the commie ice cream forced on us by Ben and Jerry. It is laced with poisins that are intended to tear down the minds ability to resist retarded liberal ideas. Not really, it will just make you fat (liberals can't stand hot-looking conservative babes who actually shave their legs, it confuses them). Now I must go bake an Apple Jelly Belly pie to honor my country and the Gipper (already got the motherhood thing going). #15 - Posted by: jonag on June 10, 2004 11:10 AMbut it's sooooo good, and it's been at least 2 weeks since i had any! and i've actually lost lots of weight while on my eat-all-the-chunky-monkey-you-want diet! i'm rent in two over this. #16 - Posted by: sarahk on June 10, 2004 11:12 AMSeppuku was outlawed?!?!? Oooooooooooh CRAP! I wish you would have posted this about 20 minutes earlier. Does anyone know the number for 911? Never mind, I'll call information. **** whoa ***** got dizzy there for a moment but my tshirt seems to have stopped most of the bleeding. Hey Frank, can one of your esteemed readers find out what the Japanese charater for ronin looks like? Then we can have lapel pins made. Better yet, we can have it tatooed on the knuckle of our right index finger so it will be the last thing a soon-to-be ex hippie or commie will see as we bring the sword to the ready position or exhale, stop, and squeeze the trigger. I must....now...uh...the light, see the light? Oh, I feel so cold...mommy? **** THUD **** #18 - Posted by: Former Hostage on June 10, 2004 11:27 AMExcellent idea. We need to find the kanji for ronin. #19 - Posted by: Frank J. on June 10, 2004 11:30 AMFound it! http://japanese.about.com/bl50kanji2_ronin.htm I may work on some new logos this weekend... and others are free to do the same. #20 - Posted by: Frank J. on June 10, 2004 11:33 AMMaster Regan, I shall honor your memory. No hippy that I come in contact with shall go unpunched. Also, screw the "South Beach Diet", I needs to get me some jelly beans. I am Ronin. #21 - Posted by: Exile on June 10, 2004 12:00 PMShouldn't Frank-san be J-san? Don't the Japanese refer to each other by their last names? #22 - Posted by: Josh on June 10, 2004 12:25 PMwell. I went through the "FAQ" and could not find your last name. So, assuming that it does indeed start with the letter "J" then it should be J***-san using "*" as a wildcard for both type of letter and the amount of letters in your last name. (assuming the possibility that there are more than four letters in your last name and assuming it begins with the letter "J"... otherwise it would just be ****-san (which by the way looks like a movie rating from someone named san(no I do not know if I am using proper parenthentical grammar nor if I spelled parenthentical right(and I don't care)))) #24 - Posted by: Josh on June 10, 2004 01:06 PMActually, I've slipped and put my last name on my blog a couple of times. If you find it, you may be surprised (no one help him). #25 - Posted by: Frank J. on June 10, 2004 01:13 PMFleming-san? #26 - Posted by: A Recovering Liberal on June 10, 2004 01:20 PMno hints at all? Oh crap! I didn't see your post, Frank. Crawling back into my hole now... #28 - Posted by: A Recovering Liberal on June 10, 2004 01:20 PMMy question is: Just what is it that you are ronin from? #29 - Posted by: the_brick on June 10, 2004 01:24 PMhmm is it Fleming or is that just a clever ploy to keep me off track. you are a clever one ****-san. #30 - Posted by: Josh on June 10, 2004 01:24 PMI dub this: Bushido Frank. I think.. ???? ? ??? in Japanese... But I don't know the kanji. #31 - Posted by: Bunnysnoog on June 10, 2004 02:40 PMGyarr. I can't post in Japanese in here. #32 - Posted by: Bunnysnoog on June 10, 2004 02:40 PMCount me in as one of Reagan's ronin. He was one of the best presidents we ever had. #34 - Posted by: Marc on June 10, 2004 03:49 PMI'd buy a 'Reagan's Ronin' shirt - that's a great idea! Orion #35 - Posted by: Orion on June 10, 2004 05:27 PM"* If apple pie is ever threatened, you are to stand firm in its defense." May we retroactively defend the poor apple pie desecrated in that Hippie Hollywood movie a few years back slanderously using the name of America in the title? If an apple pie was ever truly threatened, it was that one. #36 - Posted by: twalsh on June 11, 2004 01:38 AM"The French are to be threatened with harm whenever they speak. Their white flag of surrender are to be spat upon." Excellent. Now I can spit not only vindictively, but righteously! Down with the frenchies, up with Master Reagan! #37 - Posted by: LEMadison on June 11, 2004 06:25 PMSan is for people you're on roughly equal terms with. For master reagan I think sama is about right. (am no expert) #38 - Posted by: Elliot Temple on June 12, 2004 01:00 PMHas anyone ever told you that you kind of look like Tobey Maguire? Just a random observation... #39 - Posted by: Monica on June 12, 2004 05:47 PMWait! You know...if the supreme bastion of humorous political blogs that is IMAO is ever in a financial crunch, you could just take out Tobey Maguire and steal his identity and thus rake in obscene amounts of money for being a movie star. And then we could infiltrate the super-leftist world of Hollywood...and then the world!...or maybe it's just a dumb idea that only sounds fun because I'm suffering from sleep deprivation. #40 - Posted by: Monica on June 12, 2004 05:53 PMI am Ronin. Spitting on the French and their flag is much more savory than tearing my garments and putting ashes on my head, which was the course I was all set to embark on. Besides, several neighbors with views of my room would probably complain about the tearing of garments. OTOH, can I acquire ashes of Frenchmen? Just a thought. #41 - Posted by: Portia on June 13, 2004 12:29 AMPost a comment
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