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June 10, 2004
Our Military XVIII
Posted by Frank J. at 12:36 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (13)

Here are more military stories. I'd like to keep this going as long as I can, so, if you'd like to give your own explanation of why you joined the military or have a military story, please e-mail me with the subject "Military". Thanks.

* * * *

LCpl Zachary, USMC, writes:

I joined the Marines a little over a year ago. I joined the reserves because I go to college and am also going for OCS. I can’t say this was anywhere near the path I thought I would be going. I went through my freshman year of college becoming anxious of the future and feeling I had no idea what I wanted to do or how I wanted to get here. I also felt I had been going to school for so damn long that I needed something different, a new type of challenge. So I go by the local recruiting stations and figured I’d check out the Marines first because I had a few friends in the Corps but I can’t say I knew what I was getting myself into. All I knew was that they were the best and if I was gonna join I’d join the best. Needless to say I did my time at PI and came out a new man, with goals I want to accomplish and know how to accomplish them. It was truly a growing up experience. I still love that I made this decision and will never regret it. I plan on going into JAG the hard way now, the Marine Corps officer program instead of going halfway and going through the Air Force or Navy. Wish me luck at OCS July 11 I ship out once again to face the wraith of the Drill Instructors. I cant wait.


A reader Chris sent this in, and I remember having seen it on snopes but have decided to print it here too:

As I head off to Baghdad for the final weeks of my stay in Iraq, I wanted to say thanks to all of you who did not believe the media. They have done a very poor job of covering everything that has happened. I am sorry that I have not been able to visit all of you during my two week leave back home.

And just so you can rest at night knowing something is happening in Iraq that is noteworthy, I thought I would pass this on to you. This is the list of things that has happened in Iraq recently: (Please share it with your friends and compare it to the version that your paper is producing.)

* Over 400,000 kids have up-to-date immunizations.
* School attendance is up 80% from levels before the war.
* Over 1,500 schools have been renovated and rid of the weapons stored there so education can occur.
* The port of Uhm Qasar was renovated so grain can be off-loaded from ships faster.
* The country had its first 2 billion barrel export of oil in August.
* Over 4.5 million people have clean drinking water for the first time ever in Iraq.
* The country now receives 2 times the electrical power it did before the war.
* 100% of the hospitals are open and fully staffed, compared to 35% before the war.
* Elections are taking place in every major city, and city councils are in place.
* Sewer and water lines are installed in every major city.
* Over 60,000 police are patrolling the streets.
* Over 100,000 Iraqi civil defense police are securing the country.
* Over 80,000 Iraqi soldiers are patrolling the streets side by side with US soldiers.
* Over 400,000 people have telephones for the first time ever.
* Students are taught field sanitation and hand washing techniques to prevent the spread of germs.
* An interim constitution has been signed.
* Girls are allowed to attend school.
* Textbooks that don't mention Saddam are in the schools for the first time in 30 years.

Don't believe for one second that these people do not want us there. I have met many, many people from Iraq that want us there, and in a bad way. They say they will never see the freedoms we talk about but they hope their children will. We are doing a good job in Iraq and I challenge anyone, anywhere to dispute me on these facts. So If you happen to run into John Kerry, be sure to give him my email address and send him to Denison, Iowa. This soldier will set him straight. If you are like me and very disgusted with how this period of rebuilding has been portrayed, email this to a friend and let them know there are good things happening.

Ray Reynolds, SFC
Iowa Army National Guard
234th Signal Battalion


As for this story from Ernie G, all I can say is, "Shazam!":

My funniest military story happened before I went into the service, during ROTC Summer camp, at Fort Belvoir in 1959. We were doing Interior Guard at night, "guarding" the streets in the barracks area. A cadet in my platoon reported the following incident:

"The sidewalk was heavily shaded, and I saw someone walking toward me in the dark. I came to port arms and challenged him:

'HALT! Who is there?'

'Captain Marvel.'

'Advance, motherfucker, and meet Batman.'

So he steps out of the shadow and the first thing I see are silver railroad tracks, then a name tag: MARVELL. He had a big grin, and we exchanged salutes. He was a dentist or veterinary or something. Thank God he wasn't R.A."

Rating: 1.9/5 (9 votes cast)

Our Military
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13 Responses To "Our Military XVIII"

Too funny. Sounds eerily similar in a way to what was said to Saddam when he was pulled out of hiding.

#1 - Posted by: Chrees on June 10, 2004 01:14 PM

Silver railroad tracks indeed.

#2 - Posted by: Wordup on June 10, 2004 01:15 PM

"Captain Marvel" Too F#$king Funny!

#3 - Posted by: Over the Top on June 10, 2004 02:28 PM

"advance, motherf**ker, and meet Batman."

True comedy genius.

#4 - Posted by: Dan G. on June 10, 2004 03:10 PM

I've a feeling that Ernie G. is destined for greatness!

Still laughing over the tete a tete with Captain Marvell.

#5 - Posted by: L. C. Red Ruffansore on June 10, 2004 06:58 PM

To SFC Ray: Keep the faith and keep the flame of freedom burning. I shotgunned your words to my mailing list to let them know what's really going on. For a non-professional "journalist," you do honor to that moniker, and I'd rather read your reporting any day over the pros!

#6 - Posted by: Curt on June 10, 2004 08:26 PM

so here are my full thoughts on bush's latest comments on torture. But let me say - when is the mainstream media going to start making the stink they ought to about this? Bush can play coy about america and torture, but world sees through this. The idea behind the Geneva Convention was humane reciprocity. This is not 'supporting our troops.'

#7 - Posted by: Scott on June 10, 2004 10:33 PM

Haha! Capt. Marvel.... That was great!

#8 - Posted by: Chad Coleman on June 10, 2004 11:07 PM

That reminds me, when my husband was briefly in ROTC one of his higher ups was Col. Sanders. I'm glad I never met him in person, cause I had a hard time keeping a straight face whenever he came up in conversation.

#9 - Posted by: maggie katzen on June 11, 2004 01:22 PM

I knew a USAF meteorologist named Capt. STRANGE. Lots of strange weather jokes....

#10 - Posted by: Formerly Frank on June 11, 2004 02:25 PM

Re "Capt. Marvel": I know a former OBGYN named Dr. Brilliant. When he was much younger and was new at a hospital, he called in to see if there were any messages for him. When he told the nurse he was "Dr. Brilliant", she replied "Yeah, and I'm Nurse Wonderful!" and hung up on him.

#11 - Posted by: Wacky Hermit on June 12, 2004 08:14 PM

Heh. I know a Captain Morgan. guess how many CPT Morgan's there are out there. I know one. the joke never came up, because it's probably really tired. ANd it ain't that funny...

i've seen a sergeant captain. (the last name was captain, and he was an NCO). stupid dyslexic me couldnt figure wheteher to saulte or not.

captain marvell..that's funny.

#12 - Posted by: anonymous on June 14, 2004 09:45 PM

Ok, it is true

#13 - Posted by: Tmobile on December 4, 2004 07:25 PM
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