In case you don't know, one of my favorite syndicated columnists, Michelle Malkin, now has a blog. She seems to be updating it pretty regularly, and, even better, she's permalinked me! Maybe it's because I sent her a nice greeting letter:

To: malkin@comcast.net
From: imao@cfl.rr.com
Subject: Now that syndicated columnists are coming to the blogosphere, what happens to the nobodies?

Welcome to the blogosphere. I can see you’re off to a rocket start with the number of posts you have per day so far. Hope you can keep up that momentum.

Me, well, I’m just one of those nobodies who was blogging before it became popular and all the celebrities started coming in saying, “Hey! I’m Michelle Malkin! You know me from T.V. and my intelligently written columns, so you already know you’ll love my blog. No reason to continue reading those other jokers who aren’t published authors.”

Not that I’m bitter. The blogosphere should be open to both celebrities and nobodies. Yes, I work hard for a year to build up my thousands of readers, and then Dave Barry comes along and gets twice that in week. Well good for him… and you.

Just a word of warning: you’re working without and editor now. There’s no safety net here. There’s very little separating the idea in your head from being published for all the world to see. Why, you may be so quick and eager to write something out that you don’t phrase it quite perfectly and soon your Inbox is filled up with people shouting:

NAZI! NAZI! NAZI!

Or, even worse, you could use the wrong there, their, or they’re and they’ll be all over you like piranhas.

I hate homophones.

Anyway, if you find yourself getting too many e-mails related to your blog (like this one), you might want to add comments to your posts. Also, stay off the west side; that’s my territory.

And, finally, never cross me. Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit did, and now he’ll forever be known throughout the blogosphere as the puppy blender.

Once again, welcome to blogging.

Cordially,
Frank J.
http://imao.us

P.S. Any quick tips on how a nobody becomes a syndicated columnist? And don’t tell me talent and hard work, because I’m tired of hearing that.

Okay, maybe it wasn't the nicest greeting, but you should have seen what I sent Margaret Cho.

UPDATE: She responded with proper reverence:

Dear Frank J -

1) Blogospherically speaking, I'm the nobody and you're the somebody. The Internet is the great leveller. If I get half the traffic you get, I'll be happy.
2) "NAZI! NAZI! NAZI!" would be one of the nicer hate mails I've received in a while.
3) I still get grammar slammer mail for misusing the word "comprise" two years ago.
4) I'll do a post on syndication sometime soon.

Finally, thanks for the warm welcome, sweetie pie. I'll try not to cross you. Maybe I'll buy one of your t-shirts and send you a photo. I think I'd look better in one than Margaret Cho.

Fondly,
Michelle

Anyone who is an enemy of Michelle Malkin is now an enemy of me.

Oh, and for anyone curious about the Margaret Cho e-mail, I'm afraid those bits went down the memory hole when I made my haphazrd switch to XP.

Well, I hope Michelle's post on becoming a columnist is informative. If so, soon we'll all be syndicated columnists.

• Currently 2.50/5
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• 7
• 8
• 9
• 10

Rating: 2.5/5 (3 votes cast)

Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | Stumble It!