LOL!

That's such a great idea! I'm studying physics so I'll do the laser thing :P Now we only need an aerospace engineer xD

BTW, I loved the picture xD "Light reflecting swarm gas", eh?

Great as always.

I can handle programming for the targeting computers. I'll even do it for free if ya can get that damn hamster song outa my head.....

di do do

It is my impression that a 100 Megawatt chemical spaced based laser, which would be perfect for blowing up evil communist north korean missles, would also have the killing power and effect when targeted at the ground of a hand gernade, which to me seems perfect for killing terrorists... or ninja monkey assains... either way.

That was BRILLIANT! You know, I bet we could get Isreal to put up some cash for this idea also.

Can we test it on someone whos name rhymes with "Ked Tennedy"?

Hil-frickin-larious!

I do not have any engineering, lazer, or space knowledge, but I can pitch in a couple of bucks for funding. (I know, buy a friggin t-shirt already, yeah, yeah.) I just read the Clinton-News-Network story, I think the dumbest line in it was:

"A Pentagon spokesman did not immediately return a telephone message seeking comment Monday night."

Duh! Who would want to call and comment to these retards. If you really want cruel and unusual punishment, put these stupid s.o.b's to work on a Damn Helpdesk for MY friggin' company!

Oh, and pissy-whiny-boo-hoo if they didn't get to sleep more than 4 hours out of every 24, sh!t, that is my normal sleep pattern during my work week. (I think working third shift may have something to do with it, but I am incapable of sleeping over 4 hours on my work days.)

This is a good start:

Invisible beam tops list of nonlethal weapons

It'll work great till some genius gets a mirror.

As a reasonably sensitive guy, I have a suggestion for handling Saddam. Since his actions were obviously the work of an insane mind, we should give him a proper lobatomy or other brain removal and then release him on the streets of some Argentinian town. (Ex-dectators always go to Argentina.)

Yep, I'm tired of fightin lefties with one hand while we fight terrorists with the other.

Hey, I got an email from the Limey today. What a putz. Doesn't even understand we are so proud of Ronald Reagan, his stupid Reagan bashing doesn't even make us yawn.

I'm old enough to remember Reagan saying "we've signed legislation outlawing Russia forever. The bombing starts in five minutes".

I laughed my ass off.

All the lefties and commie news reporters freaked...which made me laugh even more.

Ok, back to work. Nice laser idea Frank - keep working on it.

Does it have to be space based? We are already close to deploying a Boeing 747 based anti-missle laser, we could just fly it really high.

spaced-base would be better, faster to target than a 747.

This is a great idea. Could it kill hippies too?

Perhaps Bush (Bridgekeeper) could ask "These questions three..." to John Kerry.

Bush "WHat is your name?"
Kerry "John Kerry Heinz"
Bush "What is your favorite color?"
Kerry "Blue"
Bush "Did you throw your medals over the wall?"
Kerry "No...wait...YES! AHHHHhhhhhhhhh!"

Sorry, randam Python reference :)
Good work Frank!

Sorry, left out the part where Bush then fries him with the S.M.I.T.E. Laser!

Frank,

That technical drawing should be on a shirt. If you did that and had the post on the back (or something to explain), that would be so awesome.

Frank,

You have just one problem with this spaced-based laser idea of yours.....

When you begin live tests of the kill'n power of the laser, Val Kilmer and his buddy Mitch will break in and reprogram it to pop a bunch of Jiffy-Pop (TM) popcorn for Kent.

Yours,
Travis

...knew that was coming...

So, wait...does the other guy ever catch his bus??

It kills me that these media hand wringers (and unfortunately a lot of politicians) whine about the way we interrogate terrorists. Its like they think terrorists break on the "have a latte" approach. Sheesh.

LOLOL! My cackling has alarmed the coworkers. It started with the goobers paragraph, intensified with the technical drawings, and whooped with the Real Genuis reference.

Thanks, all, for a good start to Hump Day.

Amen and amen.

This is a wonderful idea.

It has death and destruction raining down from the sky smiting the enemies of God and man.

Lasers are cool. Space is cool. Killing terrorist is cool. Put them all together and they're really really really cool.

The only downside I see is that it can't be done right this minute.

On a related theme, something like this could be done right now.

The next time there is a large demonstration, where terrorist morons wearing masks and waving guns in the air are gathered in one place. Send in some Apache helicopters to either end of the street and open up with rockets and 30mm cannon.

Personally, I'm suprised Isreal hasn't already done this.

But if your afraid the news weenies might think this is a little over the top, use a Predator drone to take out the cleric while he is preaching love, peace and death to jews and americans.

I know Isreal has done this. I think we should to.

Our enemies shouldn't dare to show their masked or bearded faces under the sun. They should be slinking through the sewers and hiding under rocks, where they belong. Not that it will help them.

Oh and eighteenth.

weird. did somebody test on this page already? *ducks and holds up relective mirror*

can I be the person in space making sure it is aimed properly?

Spectre Gunships... At least I think that is what they are called.. correct me if I am wrong folks.

I believe those are what that Sh!t-Head Clinton neglected (BECAUSE HE IS A #@$!%%^&*!!!) to authorize for that Somalia mission (I think there is some recent movie based on it, duh don't know, just an ignorant valley girl) that saw a lot of good soldiers killed needlessly. I just know the bullets are pretty DAMN big, and can completely cover an area the size of a football(soccer) field.

Badgers would be harmed.. But if we can't have Sneaky-sneaky lazers... Big damn planes with big damn bullets and an excellent kill ratio will do in a pinch. Oh Yeah...

The only problem is that you'd need at least three in geosynchronous orbit (that's 10,000 miles up) in order to get worldwide coverage. That might take a little longer than January of next year.

Where's my bus?

The funding begins...

Right, broke bad and Bought an NTM shirt for myself & my Husband. Start working on that Frickin' lazer already Frank! Just don't codename it "Preperation H" or "The Alan Parsons Project"

God I am so Lame...

GeoSync orbit is like 23,000mi up. 22,800 or something close, been awhile since Satellite class.

And we don't need wolrd-wide coverage at the moment.

And Loki, no lamer than me. I was thinking lasertag hehehehehe

Amen, Frank, Amen!


As others have said, this is a great idea. Much better to fund this than most other things government funds these days.


I would say use the laser on Michael Moore, but the smell...... ewww.......As a native of Flint, Michigan, I swear the debris on Saginaw Street is 1,000,000,000,000% better than Michael Moore and his "films".


If you want to puke, check out the Drudge report on his latest.


Sorry a little off topic rant - killing terrorists with space based weapons is keen in my book.

Great idea...but we need something else to take out Michael Moore. If we hit him with the laser, it would start a grease fire that might accidentally hurt the poor guy just waiting for the bus. I suggest large caliber bullets. Coming down from space.

Yes!

Michael Moore as a test subject! But wait 'til he is in france again, and set the beam for wide disb- Crap! where's the frickin' dictionary...?

Disbursement! Yeah! btw, Greywolf, bless you, you are a sweetie. I Like the lasertag code name though. I like, I like.. It has definite potenial. As in: "Tag you're it. Stupid Terrorist/Commie! If 'it' is a smidgen of dusty stinky spooginess! That is...." Hmmhmm, wah, hah, hah!

Hey, Frankie-poo... Sweetums Darling. ...All that is Glorious Frankie-J-ness.

How's about another caption - (or in this case) Code-name contest for the Laser guided Kill-a-Terrorist-or Commie-Rat-Bastard Project?

I triple-dog-dare you!

Hah, now you can't back down. (Unless you have never seen "A Christmas Story")

Dude:
I'm telling ya B-52's loaded to the hilt with pigs that have little cardboard wings glued to their backs with monkey riders is a lot more cost effective and diabolical way to rid the ecosystem of these vermin. Dude, flying pigs! On the other hand, I read a serious article about dropping hardened alloy spears from very high altitudes that could destroy North Korean reactors without leaving a trace of the weapon. We could project a holographic image of the Archangel Michael and his firey sword! The terrorists would be like dude, look at that Angel! Dude he looks pissed! Then wham! No one would know what hit them. Dude, that's what I like; a little Old Testament wrath of GOD working here. Cats and dogs living together...etc.

Haha, your drawings are instant classics Frank. Swamp gas indeed.

No reason to put them in GEO, that would require higher pointing accuracy, and everyone would know EXACTLY where they were all the time. A small constellation with lots of fuel for re-tasking and different orbits would make things a bit more unpredictable for the poor SOB's at the receiving end. I do think a few depleted uranium kinetic energy reentry vehicles per satellite (for those targets that just beg to be blown up in a spectacular fashion) would be a good addition however. :) S.M.I.T.E....OMG, I laughted my ass off when I read that.

I'd be happy to donate my time and knowledge of orbital mechanics to the cause Frank. heh

LokiDoki>>> AC-130 is the aircraft designation

All I know about lasers I learned from Tom Clancy books, so remember: when you start working on space lasers, don't let the KGB kidnap you and your wife get hit on by a lesbian, and don't have your Kazakystan installation get attacked by Afghans. Remember that, and you should be ok.

Cardinal of the Kremlin, I think.

O.K., I have no techinibal advice to offer, but I will speak out to say I LOVE S.M.I.T.E.! And I also agree that M. Moron should be the test case. (although there may be reprecussions as dvgulliver has pointed out...not so much as a major grease fire, but a full blown environmental disaster!!! What will Greenpeace say? What about the EPA????

Personally, I think it's worth the cost of the cleanup.

Also, I'd like to apologize Frank for my comment on another thread. You are not cartoon challenged, I got the threat right away!

[best-school-marm-voice]
Any more like that, young man, and you're SUSPENDED! I mean that! Why, you're lucky ...
[/best-school-marm-voice]

Great idea Frank! I flunked calc, so I'll just watch, eh? Make sure there are reporters on the scene filming when you test it -- Al Jazeera would be good. Just be sure you arrange it in Arabic ...

no need to get help from your readers, Frank. i have ALIAS season 2 on DVD if you need it. just ask Rambaldi, he'll get it done for you. wow, i'm too obsessed with that show.

but i do like your idea better, how there's a light that glows right before the terrorists get cooked. kinda like seeing God right before they get their 72 raisins.

I am a biologist. I will remain unemployed.

The best weapons system was, is and always will be stupidity. The left-wing doesn't realize that they, too, are targets for the terrorists.

Fly a bunch of left-wingers to Palestine and give them US flags and large cardboard signs with hard-to-read letters on them. Tell them they are going to a 'TAKE BACK THE US' rally and shouting patriotic slogans and waving flags is a great way to take away the conservative stranglehold on patriotism.

Tell the PLO, Hamas, Al-Aqsa and Habib the Shifty Informant with the Lisp that a HUGE pro-America rally is going to be held. Those people are ignorant morons and won't bother reading the signs.

The two groups see each other. Hilarity ensues.

you know what's funny about all those wars and peace keeping missions you spoke of...a democrat was in office when we lost every single one of them. hmmmmmmmm
matt

HOLY SHIT!!!!!! FUCKING A'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU NEED TO BE GIVEN A NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR PEACE THROUGH UNREASONED AND INCREDIBELY AMUSING VIOLENCE, DEATH AND DESTRUCTION!!!!!! Sorry: it's not unreasoned. Hell; no one really likes those fucking rags anyways. Or the french. Make one especially for the french and the rest of those effing Euro pussies. BWAH HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! FUCK 'EM ALL!!!!!

S.M.I.T.E. is inferior to the Space-Based, Basselope-Powered All-Purpose Defense Initiative, which provides protection not only from terrorists, but stuffy opinion columnists as well.

(None of you are probably old enough to get the reference.)

[strongbad]

Lasered!!!!!

[/strongbad]

glad i was bored and started randomly clicking links on nicedoggie.net great rant loved the graphic [swamp gas lol]

Actually, I think S.M.I.T.E. could stand for Satellite Mitigation of Insurgents, Terrorists, and other Enemies. I wonder if we need to add a ground based communications computer called WHOPPER.

I doubt anyone will know what I'm talking about but those doodles remind of Jhonen Vasquez's 'Happy Noodle Boy'.

Jhonen did that cartoon 'Invader Zim' which was on Nickelodeon and drew the comic 'Johnny The Homicidal Manaiac'. Hmm, actually, I think Frank J might like that comic...