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June 17, 2004
It's Not the Act That's Important; It's the Commission of the Act
So the 9/11 Commission has found no link between Iraq and al Qaeda on attacking on the September 11th attack. So what? Do they expect us to apologize to Saddam now or something? He had what was coming, and everyone should be happy. So why are we wasting money on a commission like this? I have some better ideas for commissions and studies the government could do: TOP TEN PROPOSED GOVERNMENT COMMISSIONS AND STUDIES 10. Commission to find out what things are most fun to burn. 9. Study of the cost benefit ratio to make missile guidance systems accurate enough to guide a cruise missile directly up a terrorist's ass. 8. Commission to find what caused the Clinton presidency and reelection and what steps are needed to prevent it from ever happening again. 7. Study on the size of Ted Kennedy's head and its affect on troop morale. 6. Commission to find who owns the green Ford Taurus in the parking lot that has its headlights on. 5. Study of what are the root causes of a terrorists’ mentality and how different caliber bullets affect that thinking. 4. Commission to root out monkey influence in government and Hollywood. 3. Commission to investigate where have all the flowers gone. 2. Study on the cause and prevention of hippies. And the number one proposed commission or study… Commision to find out why IMAO.us doesn't get more traffic. 33 Responses To "It's Not the Act That's Important; It's the Commission of the Act"
Frank: Don't worry Frank, I'm doing my best to get the traffic to increase by sending everyone your URL. Especially my liberal 'friends', since they hate people who are rooted firmly in reality. Frank for Prez in '08! #2 - Posted by: Brian on June 17, 2004 11:57 AMStudy to find out if a right-wing blogging humorist can make a winning White House bid in the next decade. #3 - Posted by: El Jefe on June 17, 2004 12:05 PM*sheepishly raises hand* ummm.....the green Ford Taurus is mine. #4 - Posted by: Monica on June 17, 2004 12:37 PMStudy to find out how a skank like Paris Hilton can get paid so much money for being such a...well...a skank! Commission to find out what happened to the careers of Madonna and "The Artist Formerly Known as Prince and then Known Again as Prince and now Known as Dickey" A study to find out why SarahK didn't pose with her gun for any of the T-shirt pics... #7 addendum: a further study to investigate the impact of Ted Kennedy's head on tides, the orbit of satellites, and airplane safety. #7 - Posted by: Beck on June 17, 2004 01:16 PMHow about a commission to figure out: if it should be officialy Teresa Heinz-Kerry or John Kerry-Heinz? how biased commission members have to be to be thrown off the commission? how many liberal wackos can fit into a phone booth if ground up properly? #8 - Posted by: DaDougster on June 17, 2004 01:19 PM.... and on a sidewalk. #9 - Posted by: Greywolf on June 17, 2004 01:20 PMI found your blog through Malkins and as her's gets out there more, I'm quite sure you will have a lot more traffic. Commission to study how: I know why imao doesn't get more traffic, it's because the people aren't ready for this kind of genius. Like many cult shows, who have a small but fanatical following, imao is too good for most of America to understand. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll become even more popular once you come out on dvd. ;-) #12 - Posted by: BerkeleyChick on June 17, 2004 01:42 PMcomission to find out what you get a wookie for christmas when he alrady owns a comb. comission to find out if "might makes right" and punch the hippies that say no. #13 - Posted by: Josh on June 17, 2004 02:23 PMFrank: Hit counter has always been at the bottom of my sidebar. #15 - Posted by: Frank J. on June 17, 2004 02:43 PMYou forgot the commision on whether or not liberals really die when you cut their heads off or if their like cockroaches and go on living for weeks. #16 - Posted by: Steve on June 17, 2004 02:59 PMFrank J, things'll pick up, soon you'll be getting as many as 70 or 80 hits a day like me!, don't worry. #17 - Posted by: SpaceMonkey on June 17, 2004 03:13 PMSo, who's head of this 9/11 Commission, Baghdad Bob? There are no terrorists in Iraq. Iraq has always been very clean of terrorists! Bush is criminal. Impeach Bush, then roast his stomach in hell! #18 - Posted by: Paleo on June 17, 2004 03:35 PMCitizens' Congressional Committee for the Study of Stupid Smacktards Who Watch Wacky Michael Moore Movies (CCCSSSWWWMMM) #19 - Posted by: beo on June 17, 2004 03:55 PMWhat do you mean you're not getting enough traffic? I'm here all day!! I have no idea where my kids are though.....what's that smell? *sniff* *sniff* um, gotta go find the fire extinguisher! #20 - Posted by: jonag on June 17, 2004 04:01 PMI'm sure there will be a commission made by Hollywood soon enough called BRABFE (Blame Republicans And Bush For Everything). Of course, I think there should be a commission called Why Doesn't My Site Get Enough Hits? #21 - Posted by: John on June 17, 2004 05:00 PMWe can see the size of Ted Kennedy's head. How about a study on the size of his liver? #22 - Posted by: Evilwhiteguy on June 17, 2004 05:10 PMThe council did not find that there is "no link between Iraq and al Qaeda." as you state, and as the mass media is reporting. Rather, they are saying that they found no direct link to Iraq helping al Qaeda with their 9-11 actions. I'm pretty sure that #2 and #8 could be combined as they are likely closely related. #24 - Posted by: Steve on June 17, 2004 05:37 PMFrank, #6 and 5 are the best, the cubicle area got really quiet when i started laughing. they're still wondering, because i don't volunteer any info. trevor, that will be in the peace gallery photo, and when i'm taking those, i'll take more in the other shirts too, and if frank wants to use them he can. as to when that can happen -- bikermommy says i'm not allowed to take anymore pictures until i'm unpacked. she's so bossy. #25 - Posted by: sarahk on June 17, 2004 05:50 PMThis was featured on Rush Limbaugh today. It wasn't about waiting to make sure they were collaborating, it was making sure they didn't. This was using the tried and true thought that you can't collaborate with terrorists once you are dead. Don't complain, Frank, you still get about 3,290 more hits per day than I do. *Shakes fists* #26 - Posted by: Masada on June 17, 2004 07:38 PMBush never said there were connections to al Qaeda at all. He said Saddam had connections to other terrorist organizations. And it doesnt matter because when someone has a bad enough mustache like saddam, then America is going to take you down #27 - Posted by: Brodeur on June 17, 2004 09:58 PMPaging through the recommendations section of the "Commision to find out why IMAO.us doesn't get more traffic" report, it suggests you replace the standard bulls-eye targets pictured in your range reports to those with a life sized image of Dr. Zaius. That's sure to increase your Charlton Heston traffic...by 1. And it would upset those damn dirty apes. #28 - Posted by: Ned Schnittt on June 18, 2004 09:03 AMFrank, reference #9 ( the cost benefit ): I believe that Israel is already conducting extensive research as well as beta testing such a guidance system... #29 - Posted by: on June 18, 2004 09:34 AMWoohoo! You made my day, Sarah K, and it's a Friday so that's no small feat! #30 - Posted by: Trevor on June 18, 2004 09:55 AMMy engineer analysis is that your hits aren't declining, just not growing exponentially as they were when IMAO was new. I typically have 5 websites that I check everyday: more than that and I can't get any work done. You would assume that all intelligent people would have IMAO in their top 3. IMAO may just be temporarily lost in the blog ocean or there are less intelligent people than it seems. That site meter thing looks as addictive as watching the stock market. I wouldn't let it affect your writing. As one Budo practitioner said, become an expert in your art, don't waste time trying to do a half-assed job in a bunch of martial arts. Just keep writing In My World's and all of the other good Frank J. stuff. Don't worry about spending too much time on IMAO vs. work, you can always get another engineer job in your county. With 200+ companies in the south end of the county, you could lose your job every 2-3 years and still have a good career. Filing for unemployment is easy, you can do it online at www.fluidnow.com. Happy To Help #31 - Posted by: mike_rdr on June 18, 2004 03:54 PMOne small point... The commission didn't say anything about al Qaeda. :) All it said was that there was no link between 9/11 and Hussein, which we knew. :) #32 - Posted by: Andi on June 18, 2004 04:20 PMOne small point... The commission didn't say anything about al Qaeda. :) All it said was that there was no link between 9/11 and Hussein, which we knew. :) #33 - Posted by: Andi on June 18, 2004 04:23 PMPost a comment
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