A sacrificed Bull may do the trick. I love the new low-carb diet! Just remember, Bar-B-Q is better with Beer.

Almost forgot:
First.... And Last.

The Alpha and the Omega?

Fear the five finger palm exploding heart technique!

Pai Mei never taught me that.

You could put the hippies to work with the baggy-panted punks. Then, just as the polls close, you could drive by in a hybrid gas/electric car with Kerry '04 stickers smattered all over it, pull out your dual .45's and lay waste to the hippies and punks.

This would effect 'swing states' in the west by showing that a Kerry supporter is mentally deranged (which we all know that they are anyway).

The media couldn't possibly put a spin on it, thus ensuring a GOP landslide.

Won't you just crap if I DO make it snow on your ass.....

*Cough* Grammar! *Cough*

"Then again, maybe trying to subtly goad God into politically bullying isn't a smart idea. Instead, I'll just sacrifice a bull."

C'mon, God is well known for loving a little good natured joshing around. He invented platypusseses, Muslims, and Democrats!

Maybe you should sacrifice Michael Moore, a bull is good, but go for something really BIG!

Just keep walking around the elderly and union members while muttering, "Can you believe Kerry wants to break up unions and lock away all the elderly people? I don't care if he does think it's for their own good, it just seems wrong."
The key to communication is repitition. You just have to repeat it till everybody else repeats it too!

By the way, I think there may be another barbeque prepared for Michael Moore, something of an afterlife affair.

*cough* bite me! *cough*

When you become president I fully expect the moon to be nuked.

Back to your original problem, Frank. Wasn't the Florida STATE legislature a bit involved in resolving the hanging chad scam? There may be an opportunity there, and Samurai Assemblyman* has a nice ring to it.... A-a-a-n-d, once in the Lege, you could secretly gain illegal DOMESTIC contributions. With that money....buy guns.

*some assembly required

Here's my idea. Roll a keg of good cold beer to the polling place and offer free beer to all republician voters after they vote. Declare "A vote for republicians is a vote for free beer!!" No one is against free beer.

Here on Staten Island, being a behind the scenes Republican 'strategerist' gets you a school named after you.

Hey, you only have to be a resident of the appropriate state to run for Rep, not the appropriate district. There's 23 of them in Florida, I'm sure you can find *one* of them that suits your purposes.

Frank, since you don't smoke, maybe you could chew gum while standing back in the shadows and the only sign that you were there is the sound of bubbles popping.

How about a cigarello like the Man with No Name. Yeah, a nice cigarello.

i think that only clean animals (this excludes Michael Moore) were supposed to be sacrificed, but i'm not Jewish so i could be wrong.

oh, and that was funny, frank.

Instead of smoking a cigarette, you could blow bubbles from the inky darkness.

Frank:
Just rent a big bus on election day and stick one of those signs on it that says, "Free shuttle bus to the polls for all loyal democrats!" Then, as the dummycraps get on the bus, we tranq them just enough to make them "happy". Then you drive them all over town, never stopping to let them vote. I'll help by leading the songfest. We get them to sing the "wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round" or "100 bottles of beer on the wall" and other bus favorites, all the while you're up front driving and laughing slyly Muuuuhahahahaha!

Don't you have to be 35 to be a Senator?

I suppose I could go look it up. Oh, and Frank, you can borrow my .45 if you need it.

25 Rep, 30 Senate, 35 Pres

Reminds me of one of my favorite Schwarzenegger quotes...
What is best in life?
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

Frank, saying the words "Stupid Constitution," even whilst joking, is grounds for a pimp-slap. Report to Alabama imediately for punishment.

you can come to my district and challenge the Democrat/scuzzball wanker in office here

Frank,

You should also tell your many Canadian readers to remember to vote Conservative. We actually have a chance of getting a majority.

Then, Harper and Bush could be like two guys in a cop/buddy movie. You know, fighting evil and whatnot.

Make sure everybody knows that there will be cameras with face recognition software at polling places in the larger urban precincts, in an effort to round up terrorists, illegal aliens, and people behind on their child support.
This, of course, is true. You saw it posted on the internet, didn't you?

But cigarettes are bad for you.

So's voting Democrat, but they haven't made that unacceptable. Yet.

* Release angry, disease infected monkeys in heavily Democrat districts on Election Day.

And how would they be distinguishable from regular Democrats? They'd probably let the d----d monkeys vote. Of course, the monkeys aren't as likely to have problems with the butterfly ballot.

Wow, you're a jackass. Enjoy hell.

This says it all

http://www.haloscan.com/comments.php#46545

Cristi's still pissed at Moica...raaaaarrrrrreee