I thought I was gonna die in a car wreck yesterday. Does that count?

...fearsome...

Word spellchecker did it! Damn its oily hide!

that Korean hostage should be Ronin.

he could think of the folks on Flight 93 who seized control from the 9/11 highjackers & crashed the plane in a Pennsylvania farm field.

he should die fighting.

We should all die fighting, in the end.

I disagree Rikor. THEY should all die fighting. Or running away like little french swine.

A Military Education instructor once asked the question, "What do you get paid for?"

My response, "To KILL!"

"Sgt Wilcoxon, you're the only one I've ever had in my class to answer that properly," he said.

Instead of re-enlistment bonuses, the DoD should be handing out "killing" bonuses. They could come up with a plan like:

"$100 each and NO LIMIT"

Let the Marines loose and they'll be millionaires by the end of the month.

El Jefe: I think we may need to limit that bounty to a smaller number per head. Either that or deduct expenses. We must also put limits so that it only counts for those killed directly, by personal weapon, or by improvized weapon. We can't pay bounty on those killed through nuclear, chemical, or biological warfare.

Frank J: Mind if I work as though I'm going to live several hundred years? I got plans.

a better one is:

Pray as if everything depends on God

Live your life as if everything depends on you

LibertyBob,

How about this:

The DoD starts a body count, multiplies it by the average price of a barrel of oil, uses that number as the 'fund', and then sends all the military members an equal portion of the fund once this situation has been settled.

Either that or give everyone serving on active duty a 'No Income Tax' bonus for all years served on active duty.

so, if i'm supposed to work like i'll live a hundred years, i have plenty of time to get my work done, which means i can procrastinate even more. did i get it right?

You know, why would anyone want to work like they were going to live a hundred years? Think about it... if you lived a hundred years, at least 15 of them would probably spent in a nursing home...
then you would use all that money to keep yourself on life support... withering away slowly... wishing you weren't such a health-conscious liberal communist when you were young. REMEMBER: Every 10 minutes you jog, you'll end up paying $80 more a month in a nursing home... the moral? Simple: Be a God-fearing semi-fascist republican in favor of destroying all terrorists, and, while you certainly won't live longer, you'll live HAPPIER, and that's what matters in the end... right?

"It's all about the me's, baby!"

You can't sneak any Futurama references past me, that's from a deleted scene on the season 3 DVD.

Frank, have you picked up the new Simpsons season 4 DVD? It has some of the best political jokes of the series:

Bart: Did you ever wonder why you were getting paid for doing nothing?
Grampa: I just figured cuz the Democrats were back in power.

Homer (after seeing a newspaper article from 1984 about Walter Mondale): "Where's the Beef?" Heh-heh, no wonder he won Minnesota!

(Mayor announces that Springfield didn't have enough money for a Lincoln statue, unveils Jimmy Carter statue purchased instead)
member of crowd #1: Oh, come on!
member of Crowd #2: He's history's biggest monster!
(Springfield breaks into riot)