|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy! ![]() Buy funniest book ever! ![]() IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
![]() Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits ![]() Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck ![]() This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
June 24, 2004
Frank J., Wasp Hunter
I decided my first action today after getting home was to take care of those wasp nests on my house. So I grabbed my can of Raid, my hose, my bokken, and my courage. First I went to take out the wasp nest in front of my garage, the most annoying one and always covered with wasps with nothing but evil in their hearts. I decided to try first spraying the nest with Raid to stun the adults before taking on the nest. Big mistake. The wasps instantly flew right at me. I thought I was going to be swarmed with those guys until the toxins took affect, but that was the last I saw of them. I hope they found a good place to die. Now the nest was unguarded. On goes the hose. The bottom part of the nest split off, spilling white wasp larva onto the pavement which then writhed in the sun. Die, you maggots. This is my house! Whatever it is that attached the wasp nest to the house is a tough little bit of architecture. Thus comes the bokken. One true samurai cut finishes off the last of it. Now to the back porch. There were two wasp nests that looked to have been started and then abandoned. Cut. Cut. Now on to the mud glob over my sliding glass door that is the mud dauber nest. Nothing was buzzing about, and it seemed to be abandoned now. Being that it was made of mud, the rapid application of dihydrogen monoxide quickly dissolved it. There only seemed to be one large larva left inside which was taken away in the man made storm. Vaya con dios! 19 Responses To "Frank J., Wasp Hunter"
man, i wish i had a wasp problem so i could hire you to take care of it. you're the annihilator! #1 - Posted by: sarahk on June 24, 2004 06:16 PMYou gotta watch it with that Dihydrogen Oxide, buddy. Once you start spraying that stuff around, it gets into everything. If you ingest any of it, traces of it will still be found in your body just after you die. Just be careful, okay? #2 - Posted by: Michael Chaplin on June 24, 2004 06:21 PMFrank, I speak from experience when I say this: wait until nightfall to go after the nests. The little turds congregate in the nests after dark, so if you apply the "treatment" then, you'll be sure to nail all of them. Then do what I do; take your tie (or bandana, torn-off piece of shirt, etc.) and tie it around your head like Rambo did in "Rambo II," take off your shirt, and upon tearing the nest down and putting it on the ground, light the nest on fire and do a ritual victory dance around it while chanting. The neighbors will love it. #3 - Posted by: Turkeyhead on June 24, 2004 06:40 PMMichael, dihydrogen oxide is bad, but have you ever worked with monohydrogen hydrate? And to think, I used to bathe in the stuff. #4 - Posted by: Ran on June 24, 2004 07:00 PMFrank, You better be careful. PETA might see this post. #5 - Posted by: jhar on June 24, 2004 07:05 PMI have some pretty nice speakers( http://www.wildwoodrugby.com/roomf.jpg) that have holes about 1.5 inches deep in six places that hold things together One day I was lazing about and noticed a large stinging thing(not sure what) flying in, and eventually out of one of these holes. Upon closer investigation, i.e., I got off of my ass, I discovered that one of the holes was capped with mud. I dug the eggs out and taped over the holes with masking tape. I still get visits, usually around 730 am, but it just flies around, at least I hope that's all it's doing. cheers, Dick #6 - Posted by: hairofthedawg on June 24, 2004 09:31 PMUh oh. You're "hurting worms". (hint: 7 years in Tibet? That deep Brad flick?) You'll never make it to Dalai Lama... but then your site isn't still under construction, heh. But still, no hurting worms, or wasps, man. Bad K. Big Wheel Keeps On Turning and all that. #7 - Posted by: .com on June 24, 2004 09:46 PMFrank, Turkeyhead is right. Even better, get 'em early in the morning. The rascals are as lethargic as Michael Moore when they're cold. Seeing how as you're in Florida, it probably doesn't get very cold in Summer. Still, the colder they are, the slower they move. Hey...that's just like me. Oh, wait, I AM A W.A.S.P. Jeez... #8 - Posted by: clews on June 24, 2004 10:24 PMI think John Kerry might be a wasp in human form. Or somewhat human. #9 - Posted by: Jen on June 24, 2004 10:43 PMFrank, go to Lowes or Home Depot and get that stuff that sprays a foam about 30 feet. It's incredible. They are stunned on contact, mired in the stuff. Not like the regular sprays. It is overwhelming force. Patton would have loved it.
Frank, I got one word for you (or two if you want to add a space): hairspray. Nothing knocks a wasp down quite like a burst of hairspray. Makes their wings seize up within seconds, and then you can just step on them. Like this: Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Now you know how to kill wasps, Frank. #11 - Posted by: beo on June 24, 2004 11:30 PMAsta la vista, larvae! #12 - Posted by: The Wasp-i-nator on June 24, 2004 11:30 PMNow if only cleaning up Iraq of its pests was this easy. Good job Frank! The bokken is a nice touch. #13 - Posted by: dark_indy on June 25, 2004 12:55 AMI wonder what a day in the life of Frank's neighbor must be like. #14 - Posted by: Joel on June 25, 2004 01:31 AMI have two methods of wasp disposal myself. For insects that have trespasses into my humble abode, I find a can of compressedair works wonders. Just flip thatsucker up side down so it sprays out freezing hydrocarbons. A quick blast of this stuff chills the little buggers and drops them, leaving them slow and sleepy. Then just give them a good spray and they go for the Big Sleep. And you end up with a nice chunk of frozen wasp. Fun! For outside however, if you want something to instantly kill the little bastards, my father always used to use... Brake cleaner fluid. I kid you not. I've hit wasps with bug spray and had them still flying around for a while before they croak. But you hit them with some brake cleaner fluid and they're dead before they hit the ground. Brake cleaner fluid. Good for wasps and other (annoying) living things! #15 - Posted by: Robert on June 25, 2004 07:17 AMThe 30' foam spray is GREAT! Hit the nest first thing in the morning and watch em writhe and drop. (The writhing part works for me somehow.) Brake cleaner is excellent to get that one that's buzzing your head. (Be careful where you're spraying, of course.) How's the skeeters down there so far. They're bad this year, we've been too wet. Do bat houses work down there? #16 - Posted by: MarginMI on June 25, 2004 11:20 AMFind a spray that is flammable. Then when the nest Falls, light it up! FIRE! then again, it's close enough to the fourth of July, get some Fireworks and blow a few up. #17 - Posted by: Kyle on June 25, 2004 02:01 PMHey frank, i should have read this before I did the deed. I had two nests cranking in my yard, I hit the first with a broom while i was leaning out the window. Once I knocked the nest down momma wasp was hanging out by the window waiting for me to take another shot. Those bastards dont give up. Every once in awhile i would open the window and do the ehhhhh heeeeee simpson laugh, which pissed her off more. Finally I got my shot and killed her too. The second nest I hit with the hose and ran like a little girl. I went back a minute later and killed the 6 wasps that were trying to drive off. I finished the nests with some stomping action. #18 - Posted by: Giovanni on June 30, 2004 07:01 PMjust stumbled across your site have spent a happy few hours watching the little fuckers die the foam is brill. best 3 quid ive ever spent. #19 - Posted by: uk steve on July 13, 2004 05:06 PMPost a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts
![]()
![]()
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|