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July 01, 2004
Michael Moore is Fat and Ugly: An Intelligent Look at the Left
Posted by Frank J. at 12:52 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (52)

I really like this documentary idea; only problem is that I'm plenty busy so I'd need the help of others to do it. It can either be made by editing together clips of wacky liberals with some voice over narration or maybe as a flash animation. Then we just have to find good pictures of wacky liberals and maybe do the voices ourselves.

Anyway, I will be the executive producer, director, head writer, and narrator. Maybe Bill Whittle can be the editor since he doesn't seem to be doing anything else (how long can a person's main page be blank before he's declared blog-dead?).

Now, we need to focus on what the point of the documentary will be. Here are the points I want to hit:

* Explain how liberals are nuts
* Explain that liberals are a menace to society
* Explain that liberals want dictators to thrive and give poisoned candy to our children
* Explain that liberals need to be sprayed with high-powered fire hoses
* Give tips to parents to keep their children from becoming liberals
* If children are liberals anyway, give tips to parents on handling a high-powered fire hose
* Give indisputable evidence that Michael Moore is fat and ugly

So, who want to help out? And, any other ideas?

Discuss... Discuss...

Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

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52 Responses To "Michael Moore is Fat and Ugly: An Intelligent Look at the Left"

Please, count me in. I'll start by funding you by buying a NTM shirt. (My excuse for not having one by now is that I'm a new reader.)

#1 - Posted by: Trucido on July 1, 2004 01:05 PM

Excellent! I particularly like the part about the high-powered fire hoses. It won't be lost on anyone that you'll be linking the Libs with the damn Blacks and the gawd awful civil rights movement that those Libs (and Commies, if you ask me) were behind. This site is Funny with a capital "F." I love it!

#2 - Posted by: Jim E. on July 1, 2004 01:07 PM

Isn't it amazing how the muckadoo's see racism and bigotry everywhere they look. Sounds like projection to me.

#3 - Posted by: RC on July 1, 2004 01:10 PM

Give evidence that liberals are French. I don't know much about filming but I have a few contacts that I will approach. I'll let you know. We should also provide evidence that the liberals are responsible for cicadas. Only a liberal could come up with a red-eyed creature whose only purpose is to annoy people and get laid. Kind of sounds like a cross between Michael Moore and Bill Clinton! And we didn't think Mike could get any fatter.

#4 - Posted by: Wolf's Dawn on July 1, 2004 01:13 PM

Advise people of how important it is to have their liberals spayed or neutered.

#5 - Posted by: beo on July 1, 2004 01:14 PM

It should be a lot easier to accomplish your objective than it was for Michael Moore to accomplish his. Where he had to chop, edit, and distort, all you have to do is put together real clips of real liberals. No subterfuge needed.

#6 - Posted by: MJ on July 1, 2004 01:17 PM

I don't care what you put in it as long as Barbra reads the fake "Shakespeare" quote.

Jim E., what's your problem? Wanting to not get lynched and getting to vote are a lot different than demanding slavery restitution and affirmative action. Any movement can be hijacked
by the unscrupulous.

#7 - Posted by: Sal on July 1, 2004 01:18 PM

Ignore the other guy; he isn't the real Jim E.

#8 - Posted by: Jim E. on July 1, 2004 01:19 PM

Jim E,
Republican Party was founded with anti-slavery as one of their primary goals. Who's side you on?

Frank J,
I'll follow you around with my video camera while you interview liberal blow-hards. Then we can pelt them with jellybeans for every wrong answer they give to the questions.
Question #1: How long have you been a Communist?
Note to self: Buy lots and lots of jellybeans.

#9 - Posted by: Mr. Bubble on July 1, 2004 01:25 PM

No, rephrase that question a bit (in the Michael Moore fashion of trap questions):

"So, when are you going to stop being a communist?"

Jim E Jim E Bo Bim E
Bonana fanna fo Fim E
Fee Fy Mo Mim E
Jim E!

#10 - Posted by: beo on July 1, 2004 01:28 PM

Oh, I know! I know!

In order to prove your final point you could use pictures!

#11 - Posted by: GE on July 1, 2004 01:36 PM

beo,
Master Joe McCarthy would be proud!

#12 - Posted by: Mr. Bubble on July 1, 2004 01:37 PM

I have an idea, but it's not for the movie. For the Chomps t-shirt, how about having his image in the style of the "Scarface" cover, meaning the white outlines on the edges? Subtle, but I bet it would look bad-ass.

#13 - Posted by: Turkeyhead on July 1, 2004 01:41 PM

How about this...

black screen split down the middle, on one side show a statment made by a Republican or conservative that they were raked over the coals for (e.g. Trent Lott's comments) along with quotes from the media that took them to task. On the other side show an even more offensive comment made by a Liberal that they got a pass on (e.g. Sheet's Byrds comments about white n*****s).

Show a series of these comparisons. Then finally show the word Facism with it's definition.

#14 - Posted by: Former Hostage on July 1, 2004 01:59 PM

Frank, i'll do anything, sing, voice-over, look hot, wear t-shirts, whatever.

#15 - Posted by: sarahk on July 1, 2004 02:10 PM

Frank - you're still brilliant, but just a little bit behind in the race:

http://www.michaelmoorehatesamerica.com/index.html

However, your film could just be about the libs in general. as opposed to what a turd Moore is.

#16 - Posted by: Uncle Frome on July 1, 2004 02:12 PM

I know about the real documentary being made in response... I want to do one in my own style.

#17 - Posted by: Frank J. on July 1, 2004 02:18 PM

I've been wanting to do a documentary for awhile, I was planning on calling it "Bowling for Moore".

I am leaving tonight for Washington D.C. and my Sony Videocamera is comming with me, so I should have some nice patriotic clips of memorials and such.

Also I heard there's going to be a protest on the 3rd in D.C. Maybe I can get footage of the idiots in action.

I leave here at 8, let me know by then if you need me to shoot (with a camera) anything.

#18 - Posted by: Kyle on July 1, 2004 02:32 PM

Frank:
Moore points we should focus on:
1.) Liberals have pointy heads.
2.) Contrary to PETA they like to hurt cute little puppies and kittens.
3.) Libs LIKE monkeys.
4.) Liberal scientists are using the human genome project to mutate an evil monkey into an evil talking monkey. (Get your filthy paws off of me, you damn smelly ape!)
5.) Liberals were responsible for poisoning Tylenol.
6.) Liberals really know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried, but are being nasty and not sharing.
7.) Liberals seceretly fantasize about clubbing baby seals.
8.) Secretly wish they had real solutions for problems.
9.) Really want to be conservative.
10.) Liberal men (probably the women too)secretly dream of dating SarahK. (Like they'd have a chance!)

#19 - Posted by: Connecticut Yankee on July 1, 2004 02:33 PM

Frank,
I know some liberals. And they would NEVER give poisoned candy to a child.

Liberals are into healthy foods. So it would Carob-coated or some other Chocolate wannabe.

Oh. That fact that Michael Moore is so fat he wears a circus tent as a bib, in no way invalidates my view of liberals as tree hugging, crystal wearing, burning man festival attending, abortion loving, Flag hating, God hating, Volkswagen driving freaks.

No offense to those who drive VW's.

#20 - Posted by: rightwingduck on July 1, 2004 02:35 PM

sarahk,
maybe you you could do the voice-over in the form of a song and dance number while looking hot in a Nuke The Moon t-shirt.

#21 - Posted by: Trucido on July 1, 2004 02:46 PM

Bad news for Frank: he's dropped to 40 on a Google search for "Frank".

#22 - Posted by: on July 1, 2004 02:57 PM

Let's answer the really important questions:

How long does it take to drown a liberal?

How much voltage does it take to electrocute a liberal?

How high will a liberal bounce?

How many liberals could Chomps eat in an hour?

Will a liberal float? What if they are chained to a wrecking ball?

If we offered to let the terrorists have liberals to behead, would they take them? Or would they figure it would be more terrifying to make us keep them?

How many times do you have to shoot a liberal? What about with a BB gun?

If you stranded a bunch a liberals on a mountain top, would they eat Michael Moore first? How many liberals could he feed?

Do liberals make good crash test dummies?

If you hit a liberal with your car, does the smell linger like a skunk does?

If you drop a house on a liberal, will their feet shrivel up?

If you put a liberal's face in front of a cannon and fire, will their face just turn black like
Yosimite Sam's?

How far can you throw a liberal? What about with an aircraft carrier catapult?

What falls faster? A bag of feathers or a bag of liberals?

How long can a liberal survive in space unsuited?

Can you get them there by strapping them to a firework rocket?

If two trains left at the same time with liberals strapped to the front and traveled directly at each other at 90 miles an hour, would anyone stop it?

Are liberals biodegradable? Or are they like styrofoam?

How many liberals could you fit in the Grand Canyon? How long would it take to bulldoze
it in?

How long can a liberal survive in the desert? Tied to a cactus?

If you cut off a liberal's head, does it keep running around for a while?

and finally...

How do they reproduce? Can anything be done to stop it?

Inquiring minds want to know Frank!

#23 - Posted by: Chris on July 1, 2004 03:12 PM

We have to do something about that.

Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank

Back on topic: Demonstrate that liberals feel the need to make clones, but like to kill real innocent babies.

#24 - Posted by: Mr. Bubble on July 1, 2004 03:14 PM

Frank at least Whittle's page is blank!
Venomous Kate left Rasputin's Schlong on hers

#25 - Posted by: TXVet on July 1, 2004 03:16 PM

Frank, I'll make a website with the sole purpose of making your site number one on the google search. Do you want Frank, Frank J, or both?

#26 - Posted by: Trucido on July 1, 2004 03:44 PM

Why don't you want to offend VW owners? Those are HITLER cars! Aren't you ready to stop being a fascist?

#27 - Posted by: beo on July 1, 2004 03:46 PM

I already have Frank J.

#28 - Posted by: Frank J. on July 1, 2004 03:46 PM

Chris, that was like, art, dude.

#29 - Posted by: Bob Owens on July 1, 2004 04:01 PM

Thanks Bob!

I am sure my boss wishes I spent as much time on my work as I do here!

#30 - Posted by: Chris on July 1, 2004 04:05 PM

Maybe we could include these two nuggets of warm fuzziness.

"Michael Moore's provocative anti-Bush documentary "Fahrenheit 9/11" is likely to become the first imported documentary in China."

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20040701/capt.xdg21007011836.topix_iraq_saddam_xdg210

#31 - Posted by: Modo on July 1, 2004 04:18 PM

Sorry that was a broken link. Here is the second fuzzy goodness....

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20040701/capt.xdg21007011836.topix_iraq_saddam_xdg210.jpg

#32 - Posted by: Modo on July 1, 2004 04:20 PM

First!

Oops, sorry. All this talk about Michael Moore, and I'm suddenly using the same standards of factual accuracy.

#33 - Posted by: Tony on July 1, 2004 05:04 PM

One of the most recent and my favorite lines by a communliberalist. Hilary Clinton, Mrs. P.C. can't even keep her own husaband intrested in her, said "Ghandi, dosn't he work at the 7-11 down the street." Sure it got no press, and people forgave her, after all, it isn't like she is Trent Lott. http://brain-terminal.com also has some good old fashion home video of liberals being themselves.... uninformed. Check it out.

#34 - Posted by: Jake on July 1, 2004 05:59 PM

One of the most recent and my favorite lines by a communliberalist. Hilary Clinton, Mrs. P.C. can't even keep her own husaband intrested in her, said "Ghandi, dosn't he work at the 7-11 down the street." Sure it got no press, and people forgave her, after all, it isn't like she is Trent Lott. http://brain-terminal.com also has some good old fashion home video of liberals being themselves.... uninformed. Check it out.

#35 - Posted by: Jake on July 1, 2004 06:00 PM

http://www.mercuryradioarts.com/site/product?pid=10047#

Great t-shirt

#36 - Posted by: not_a_mm_fan on July 1, 2004 06:00 PM

What you really need to do, for a grand finale, is find out where Moore lives and play as many pranks, practical jokes, and other assorted shennanigans on him all day. Then tell him who it was. Hopefully the fat bastard will get so mad and will be dumb enough to try and smack you. Then you can kick his ass "in self defense". I know that's what I wanna do; beat the crap out of fatty. Or at least give him a far lip...

#37 - Posted by: King Steve on July 1, 2004 06:25 PM

It is an inability or unwillingness on the part of the individual to understand and accept reality that leads to incompetence, coupled with a tendency to evaluate one’s self-worth by comparison to the achievements of other people, that results ultimately in an individual that cannot succeed and despises himself and the accomplishments of others because of it.
This applies to what many call “the left”. This includes environmentalists, socialists, communists, and people with obvious contradictions in their life and mind.

This is my long explanation as to what's wrong with a lot of people.

#38 - Posted by: The Sicilian on July 1, 2004 06:49 PM

You're going to need to get some science behind you if you want to prove that he is fat and ugly. I suggest posting the picture below at hotornot in order to gather some data.

http://members.optusnet.com.au/evilpundit/blog/images/moore-fatass-new.jpg

#39 - Posted by: nooneofconsequence on July 1, 2004 07:02 PM

Q: If you cut off a liberal's head, does it keep running around for a while?

A: No, it dies of starvation two weeks later.

#40 - Posted by: andanother on July 1, 2004 07:05 PM

How about filming a landfil and calling it Michael Moore's weekend trash collection?

#41 - Posted by: Wolf's Dawn on July 1, 2004 07:46 PM

Q If you cut off a liberals head, does it keep running around for awhile?

A No, it spouts two heads! Help me Mickey Mouse!

#42 - Posted by: Wolf's Dawn on July 1, 2004 07:48 PM

Ok, I'm trying to do some photoshopping, but am having a problem. I'm looking for fat, scuzzy looking pictures of Michael Moore. Think of the one posted on the homepage of IMAO for what I'm trying to find.

Anyway, I keep googling away and all I can find are pictures that make him look like a bum on the street, instead of the half-shaven gorrilla we know he is. If anyone has a link to a bunch of these pictures, I'd be very thankful.

#43 - Posted by: LRFD on July 1, 2004 08:27 PM

Dang, he's down to number 41.

#44 - Posted by: Trucido on July 1, 2004 08:53 PM

I will help if you need it
I know how to work an Avid Xpress Pro and Protools Sound Editing software
if you need the help i will work for FREE

#45 - Posted by: Alex Ford on July 1, 2004 11:02 PM

You need to show a liberal on the journey from cluelessness to enlightenment, perhaps using a scene like this one recounted in my hometown paper (Kingsport Timesnews) as the starting point

BARBER TALK

Claude Russell, world-famous barber, had a soldier boy in the chair the other day, and Claude was telling him about the Vietnam era, when many young men had long hair that was sheared off as soon as they joined the service.

"This one hippie was in the chair, and the Army barber asked him, ‘Do you want to keep your sideburns?' The fellow said yes, and the barber said, ‘OK, hold out your hand.'"

A gentle mocking from the wise elders to help the liberal spawn emerge from his cocoon, to form a rational being that is not a hindrance to society. The way of nature.

A way of making the point .... 50-year old liberals are not only fat AND disgusting ... but unnatural as well.

#46 - Posted by: Mr. Helper on July 1, 2004 11:24 PM

I suggest you show a picture of John Kerry and say in the voice over "Who did John Kerry have sex with last night?" Then cut to an unflattering picture of Michael Moore (that would of course be any picture of him).

If you don't actually say he slept with Moore then you are not lying. If people imply it helped along by your propagandist use of pictures that is their own problem.

#47 - Posted by: twalsh on July 1, 2004 11:33 PM

If people compare Bush to Hitler, why don't you compare Saddam to Kerry? At least they have something in common that they both hate the same things...

#48 - Posted by: Gerrit on July 2, 2004 05:37 AM

Hey, I've got something that needs further investigation. checked out the kerry site last night and gleaned this from Teresa's bio.

Their mutual interest in environmental issues brought Teresa and John together. She was first introduced to John Kerry by Senator Heinz at an Earth Day rally in 1990.
Shortly after celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary in 1991, she lost her husband in a plane crash.

#49 - Posted by: maggie katzen on July 2, 2004 01:15 PM

www.bowlingfortruth.com

#50 - Posted by: nate on July 3, 2004 08:56 PM

In what shape would be the world if cavemen were conservatives ???

(remember, don't be too creative in your answer...)

#51 - Posted by: sam on August 3, 2004 10:22 AM

Micheal Moore is a fat ugly communist and we love Bush!

GO REPUBLICANS!

F*CK OFF MOORE YOU FAT UGLY BASTARD!

#52 - Posted by: Pete on October 6, 2004 01:10 AM
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