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July 02, 2004
We Should Target More Civilians
An Editorial by Frank J.
Charles Manson. Ted Bundy. Jeffrey Dahmer. O.J. Simpson. What do all these people all have in common? That's right; they're all civilians. Yet, our military seem to be focused on trying not to kill civilians like they're all innocent angels or some other nonsense. We've even spent billions of dollars on sophisticated weaponry so that we’re less likely to harm civilians. How do we know, though, that we're not just sparing murderers and pedophiles? We don't. Let me talk from my own experience. Once I was playing a shooting game at an arcade. I was doing perfectly well killing everyone who popped up, but suddenly then a "civilian" comes on screen and I shoot him and get penalized. Well, what the hell is some civilian doing in a violent videogame anyway? I don't know, but what I do know is, because of him, I not only didn't get to the next level, I got game over. Game over, man; game over. It's even worse for our troops who can't just put in more quarters (or tokens or cards considering the arcade). They have to be oh so careful to not blow up any orphanages while targeting the weapons depot. That's just bull. Why can't little orphan Annie learn to duck and cover so our troops can fire more indiscriminately with less worries to themselves? And why are orphans conspiring with tyrants anyway? Still, just not caring about shooting civilians is not enough; we need to target them! What is a civilian anyway? Just an unarmed enemy combatant, who, in the words of Clint Eastwood from Unforgiven, "should have armed himself." What are they doing civilianing around while we're attacking? Either get out of there or stop being so weepy. And don't give me the old canard of "I don't have anywhere else to go," or "We're too oppressed to leave." Lies, all of it. These so called "innocents" are just waiting to attack us later when they get older.
It's time to take a hard line with these civilians. Our Jew friends, the Israelis, should probably start. Next time there is some rally for terrorists who blew up kindergartners, bomb them all to hell. If someone complains, the Israelis should just say, "We were trying to understand the anger of the terrorists by doing what they do - targeting civilians. And, guess what? It was fun! And we're much better at it too!" Of course, we Americans can't be outdone by the Israelis. Next battle, no more wasting money on expensive targeting systems; just bomb the hell out of everything. I bet if we put our hearts into it, we can set a record for civilians killed. Why, with saturation bombing, nukes, and space lasers, we could end the civilian menace once and for all. Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us and is the author of such books as "A Better Living Through Proper Firearm Usage" and "If You're Reading This, I Better Have Gotten My Royalty Check." Wake up in a bad mood Frank? Or has this killing mood be boiling for weeks?
by the way, this pic is so hot: http://imao.us/model/model18.jpg Geeze, That is fucking hilarious, I needed that to wake up. LOL Thanks! #5 - Posted by: on July 2, 2004 07:38 AMWhich Samurai warlord was it that spared his enemy's kids...and then caught it later? #6 - Posted by: wraith67 on July 2, 2004 07:57 AMrofl, that's hilarious. some muckadoo's gonna send you hate mail over that. i especially loved "civilianing around". that terrorist larva sure is cute; it must be the upbringing that turns them into civilians. poor chap. #7 - Posted by: sarahk on July 2, 2004 08:01 AMTerrorist Larva The importatn lesson for "civilians" is that it is everybody's job to take out the bad guys. If We havce to come over and do it it's because teh locals didn't do their job. Why did they not do their job? Either they are bad guy sympathizers or they are just losers. #8 - Posted by: LibertyBob on July 2, 2004 08:49 AMROFLMAO! Frank, that was BRILLIANT! You need to take this war plan straight to the Pentagon. #9 - Posted by: Evil Midnight Poster what Posts at Midnight on July 2, 2004 09:05 AMMichael Moore is a civilian. That a very editorializing looking picture you got up there Frank. Classy. #10 - Posted by: SpaceMonkey on July 2, 2004 09:12 AMTerrorist larva. Heh. #11 - Posted by: beo on July 2, 2004 09:15 AMLoved the books in the tagline... #12 - Posted by: Bob Owens on July 2, 2004 09:16 AM"Game over, man; game over." Ah the classic Aliens reference. Excellent work! #13 - Posted by: Josh on July 2, 2004 09:17 AMIt Burns! Brass #14 - Posted by: Brass on July 2, 2004 09:18 AMOther excellent lines that come to mind: "Easy... ya' just don't lead them as much! HA!" Doorgunner Full metal Jacket. "Good...Bad...I'm the guy with the gun" -Ash in Army of Darkness #15 - Posted by: tacberry on July 2, 2004 09:33 AMI'm at a loss for words. #16 - Posted by: Turkeyhead on July 2, 2004 10:46 AMExcellent Post. ROFL! "What are they doing cilvilianing around while we're attacking? Either get out of there or stop being so weepy. " And yes, that terrorist Larva is really adorable. Now that i think about it. Those toy guns are just ways to get that child prepared to destroy us. Be afraid. Very afraid. #17 - Posted by: rightwingduck on July 2, 2004 11:07 AMHaha excellent post Frank. By the way, in that picture you look like Brendan Frasier or Jeremy London (either way, they both look the same to me). #18 - Posted by: The Viking Lord on July 2, 2004 11:25 AMHAHAHA! :D #19 - Posted by: TEM on July 2, 2004 11:47 AMDo you mean American civilians? Hmmmmm. I think we're being exposed to a little bit more of the inner workings of Frank J.'s psyche. Velly Eenterestink (Freudian accent there). Anyway, as a conservative parent I have already instructed my Republican larva on the art of "duck and cover" as any good mother should. Nice picture btw. #21 - Posted by: jonag on July 2, 2004 12:31 PMWow, you guys in the comments sure are pussies. I'm with you Frank! I'm gonna get me 40 commie civilians today with my friend Mr Colt 45. IT'S STAB OR BE STABBED. Where does the BOOT GO? That's right! IN THE ASS! #22 - Posted by: Bad Commie on July 2, 2004 01:25 PMBad Commie, you're in the comments now too, soooo....meow? #23 - Posted by: spacemonkey on July 2, 2004 02:31 PMFrank, I thought I stumbled upon Planned Parenthood's website until I saw the T-Shirt babe. #25 - Posted by: Mario Mirarchi on July 2, 2004 04:37 PMokay, a little off topic, but you're wearing makeup in that picture, aren't you Frank!? and did you take that yourself? and if so how? I've done some experimenting, it involves mirrors, unfortunately the best mirrors are in my bathrooms and don't provide very nice backgrounds. #26 - Posted by: maggie katzen on July 2, 2004 08:11 PMMake up! Yeah, I keep make up on hand. I just set my digital camera on a step ladder, put it on time-delay, and made a thoughtful pose. Crop it with a perfect square, resample to 100x100, and turn it to grayscale. Volia! #27 - Posted by: Frank J. on July 2, 2004 09:40 PMI guess I'm too much of a control freak, or artiste, whatever, Have to see me. Hmmm, I may have to try this though. But, I swear you at least have some blush on. or is it from running away from the camera and posing? Sorry, i've been around too many theater people. And where's my Chomps picture!? huh!? I just slaved over it for like a whole ten minutes! Actually, I saw a t-shirt today that gave me an idea, I'll see what I can do. #28 - Posted by: maggie katzen on July 2, 2004 09:55 PM"We were trying to understand the anger of the terrorists by doing what they do - targeting civilians." The best argument for the war ever! Frank: Have you been eating the purple Gummi-Bears used to Re-Energize the S.M.I.T.E. Space Laser again??? I'd also hold off doing anyting with that cute Terrorist Lava until it can either read 'The Anarchist's Cookbook' or pick up an AK. By then, it's already too late for the critter to have discovered a cure for cancer or baldness. #30 - Posted by: Imperial Lamplighter: LC Jack Deth on July 3, 2004 05:14 PM"We were trying to understand the anger of the terrorists by doing what they do - targeting civilians."
pocket bike sale #32 - Posted by: Mini Pocket Bikes is your #1 supplier for the new 2005 Pocket Bikes . Our cheap pocket bike models a on October 22, 2004 01:19 PMMini Pocket Bikes is your #1 supplier for the new 2005 Pocket Bikes . Our cheap pocket bike models are top of line quality at an affordable price. #33 - Posted by: pocket bikes on October 23, 2004 12:33 AMPost a comment
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Stumble It!
An Editorial by Frank J."