 |
|
|
|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!  Buy funniest book ever!  IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
 Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits  Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck  This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
July 13, 2004
Cherish Your Wars
Though some think the Iraq War wrong, I think Iraq war right just like Bush. I even came up with a bunch of reasons: * Lots of Iraqis are dead - bad ones! * It made for good T.V. * Saddam was an evil man and now he's dead - or at least he will be after due process of law. * Since the war on Iraq, there have been no Iraqi attacks on American soil. * Instead of having to travel all over the world to track down and shoot terrorists, they flocked to Iraq for us to shoot them in one place. * "Iraq" and "attack" rhyme, so war just makes sense. * Now the most potent Weapon of Mass Destruction currently in Iraq is the U.S. military. * Since Iraq will now have its own democracy, maybe they will import some of our slimy weasels. * By having so much anger in the Middle East directed at us, we've given the Jews a break. * If it weren't for the war, the election would be all about dumb crap like Medicare and gay marriage. * Setting Iraq free from tyranny sets the course for the rest of the Middle East to evolve into modern democracies by 4012. * The war made Michael Moore angry... hopefully bringing him closer to his inevitable heart attack (I just hope he doesn't fall on any children). * We pissed most of the world off, and, frankly, we hate most of the world and like pissing them off. * If we waited to attack until we had France's permission, we would have to hold off until most of Europe was invaded by Iraq… which could have taken months longer. * With all the practice liberating Iraq, Iran, which is an only one letter difference, should be easy. * Dude, we like so killed Uday and Qusay. * Oil! Sweet, sweet oil! Muh ha ha ha! * Lot's of bad people are dead; what's not to be happy about? 32 Responses To "Cherish Your Wars"
FIRST! #1 - Posted by: SIGPro on July 13, 2004 06:58 AMYet more reasons: *Peter Jennings in now in Iraq, increasing his chances of death 10 fold *Our Marines got to kill people *Did someone mention all the oil we are bringing home with us? *Smiling Iraqi children who now have to go to school *www.protestwarrior.com #2 - Posted by: SIGPro on July 13, 2004 07:06 AM"Now the most potent Weapon of Mass Destruction currently in Iraq is the U.S. military" True, so true #3 - Posted by: El Jefe on July 13, 2004 07:48 AMAll of that desert warfare experience will help when our troops liberate California from Hollywood Commies! #4 - Posted by: LibertyBob on July 13, 2004 07:51 AMFrank - me like your list, butt... Teresa's hairball was in Vietnam! So there.
"If we waited to attack until we had France's permission, we would have to hold off until most of Europe was invaded by Iraq… which could have taken months longer." Frank, I sincerely think you should apologize with the Iraqi Army about that. I mean, Hitler did that in some weeks, and that was in 1939, when some euros were still actually willing to fight. But, well, nowadays, conquering a small continent full of affeminate leftists it's no real achievement. Anyone can do that. Simply send an email to the EU leaders saying, "This is a message from Al-Qaeda. Trick or Treat?" and in 5 minutes France will surrender and, in a matter of fact, Europe will be yours. Although I wonder, who would like to have that smelly parcel? C'mon. Pointing out a typo with heart attack... #7 - Posted by: Trendy on July 13, 2004 08:06 AMopps, sorry about that. #9 - Posted by: Trendy on July 13, 2004 08:12 AMHa ha, here you are! This is a message of the Iraqi Army: Apologize now, or be killed by crazy muslim monkeys later! Mikey moore has a heart? #11 - Posted by: Josh on July 13, 2004 09:03 AMWell... The doctors think so... either that or a large cream filled donut pumping to keep all that custard flowing through his veins. #12 - Posted by: Trendy on July 13, 2004 09:08 AMhi i tink de iwaq waw is wong.... And let's not forget: Not fall on any kids nothing, I hope he doesn't fall on any small towns or monumnents, unless he is visiting France. #15 - Posted by: Chris Van Dis on July 13, 2004 09:52 AMthat may be the terrorists next secret weapon.... "If we waited to attack until we had France's permission, we would have to hold off until most of Europe was invaded by Iraq… which could have taken months longer." Makes you wonder why they attacked us first instead of them. Oh, wait, because we would have covered their asses then. But now... (Apologies to Europeans who aren't pussies) re: Michael Moore "I like big fat men like you; when they fall down, they make more noise ... and sometimes they never get up!" -Tuco's wisdom #18 - Posted by: Paleo on July 13, 2004 11:11 AMTuco kicks so much ass. When I grow up, I want to be a bandito. #19 - Posted by: Frank J. on July 13, 2004 11:18 AM"Iraq" and "attack" rhyme, so war just makes sense. Is that HHL (hip hop logic)? Mike's next popcorn pleaser is supposed to be about healthcare. I think this has very little to do with the fact it is a hot issue. I think it has everything to do with the fact that he should stay very close to a hospital. Those first couple of minutes can be life or death. #21 - Posted by: Wolf's Dawn on July 13, 2004 01:53 PMAh, yes. I did enjoy this list. - Middle East into modern democracies by 4012? Sounds optimistic unless we decide to go elsewhere, like Syria and Iran, after we get the French's approval, of course. ; ) If Michael Moore does have a heart attack and dies, I hope he is sucking up to Syria and Iran, so all the leaders there would die when the earth opens up and sucks him into hell. Or Hollywood.
'"Iraq" and "attack" rhyme, so war just makes sense.' Hee! Reminds me of a classic IMW moment: "Operation Wacky Iraqi Attacky." #23 - Posted by: Mike from Dallas on July 13, 2004 02:09 PMI do'nt know weven where to begin here with this (wrong) list. Whether to beign wtih first (1st) item, last (last) item, or somewhere in between (e..g 7th). Its's wrongness is just too overhwelming. You' can't be serious here Frank (J.) please tell me this is satire. #24 - Posted by: iraqwarwrong on July 13, 2004 02:17 PMDo you spell that way on purpose? Seriously, it's one of the most entertaining things about you! Almost, endearing:) #25 - Posted by: Wolf's Dawn on July 13, 2004 02:35 PMAgian someone attacks my "spelling" (which, as usual only goes to show cannot combat my substance). this is a blog commenets box not the collected works of JD SAlinger sorry (bare with me) I try my best oh why do I even bother to pexplain to you people!!11 #26 - Posted by: iraqwarwrong on July 13, 2004 02:40 PMIt was not an attack, it was a question. Didn't mean to strike a nerve. Your starting to grow on me. Like a fungus. #27 - Posted by: Wolf's Dawn on July 13, 2004 02:43 PMFank J. should have never linked to iraqwarwrong. That blog is the funniest satire on the whole web. The guy acts like he's a moron instead of a comic genius. Reminds me of Andy Kaufman. #28 - Posted by: J.R. on July 13, 2004 04:45 PMYes! That's it! #29 - Posted by: Wolf's Dawn on July 13, 2004 05:13 PMNow that Iraq has its Soverignty back. Maybe we should talk them into building a couple of huge prisons for OUR felons. There's plenty of space. Lots of sand for concrete. Maybe we'll find one of Saddam's underground Chem Labs as a bonus! Absolutely NOTHING around for 50 miles in any direction. Many cons are taking up Islam anyway. So they should feel right at home in the high, dry heat and frigid nights. Just a thought. #30 - Posted by: Imperial Lamplighter: LC Jack Deth on July 13, 2004 06:41 PMAND...they can build the prison themselves! Nice, cheap, labor. #31 - Posted by: Wolf's Dawn on July 13, 2004 07:04 PMOf course, the cons build their own major domicile, Wolf's Dawn. Sorry, I thought was implied. More $$$ to buy better toys and better gear for our guys in the Desert. If the cons do well with that. Maybe they could build a few airstrips long enough to handle BUFs. From scratch. A much more sensible 'Work-Release' program than what we have now. #32 - Posted by: Imperial Lamplighter: LC Jack Deth on July 13, 2004 08:26 PMPost a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts 
 
 
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|
Stumble It!
