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July 20, 2004
I Am a Horrible Person
Posted by Frank J. at 12:20 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (74)

It was SarahK's, the IMAO T-Shirt Babe, birthday yesterday, and I forgot to make any metion of it or even wish her happy birthday. This makes me less than dirt and almost as bad as a muckadoo.

Everyone must now write something mean and horrible about me in the comments and then something nice about SarahK.

Rating: 1.4/5 (4 votes cast)

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74 Responses To "I Am a Horrible Person"

She is beauty, you are beast. You're a horrible person Frank. For that, I'm only checking your blog five times today.

#1 - Posted by: Blake on July 20, 2004 12:26 PM

You are a Monkey named Ethel.

#2 - Posted by: Victor on July 20, 2004 12:27 PM

Frank, you are a girlie-man! Forgetting her birthday puts you firmly on the Rumsfeld Stranglers short list.

Happy B-day SarahK! As I type this your t-shirt babe pic where you are sitting and making your little cat's claw with growling smile pose and I think to myself, "And they picked Halle Berry for Catwoman!"

#3 - Posted by: Chris on July 20, 2004 12:27 PM

its ok Frank J, us men always forget birthdates. except our own. but happy birthday to sarahk!

#4 - Posted by: Brodeur on July 20, 2004 12:28 PM

It's not your fault. It was a monkey plot to get you to forget.

#5 - Posted by: jason of avoca on July 20, 2004 12:29 PM

Even though I only recently discovered your site, I have to say that sarahk is indeed a babe, and that you are a undoubtedly a man. If I were a liberal, that last part would be really mean, so pretend I'm a hippy--I do have some birkenstocks.

#6 - Posted by: Paul on July 20, 2004 12:29 PM

Frank Buy a calendar you cheap weasle.

SarahK, Still and always the best T-shirt Babe around.

#7 - Posted by: Robert on July 20, 2004 12:30 PM

You're disgusting Frank. I mean, I still remember to call ex-girlfriends on their birthdays (it annoys them that their husbands forget and I don't, heh heh heh).

SarahK, don't worry. There are plenty of other blogs out there and their bloggers actually give a damn.

#8 - Posted by: LibertyBob on July 20, 2004 12:33 PM

Frank, you monkey-man! SarahK not monkey, not boy! Definitely not boy!!! Waahooo sarahk! Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! You don't look like Frank (hallelujah) and you don't smell like him too (double hallelujah)!

#9 - Posted by: Connecticut Yankee on July 20, 2004 12:33 PM

Frank,

there can only be one excuse for you forgetting SarahK's birthday...

you're a monkey-lovin', cheese-eating, Frenchie wannabe who feels threatened by a female with a great set of .45's!!!

#10 - Posted by: Former Hostage on July 20, 2004 12:34 PM

Happy Frank's-a-muckadoo-day

Happy sarahk's birthday

#11 - Posted by: Greywolf on July 20, 2004 12:38 PM

I was gearing up to call Frank a Kerry-supportin', Limey lovin', escargo eatin'..then it hit me. Did anybody else remember Sarah's birthday? He who is without sin cast the first stone.

Sorry, Sarah, from all of us. I hope you went out and met somebody who needs a t-shirt babe and who won't forget your birthday!

#12 - Posted by: Wolf's Dawn on July 20, 2004 12:43 PM

Frank, Frank, Frank... You'll never win the hand of the fair SarahK with shenanigans like that. Shape up Muckadoo!!

Happy B-Day SarahK.

#13 - Posted by: on July 20, 2004 12:49 PM

Your penalty for forgetting SarahK's birthday?

You get stuck down Sandy Berger's pants...

#14 - Posted by: A fine scotch on July 20, 2004 12:49 PM

Robert: I didn't know SarahK did a calendar....

#15 - Posted by: Blog Jones on July 20, 2004 12:53 PM

Frank J, you shoot like a two-fingered, one-legged hippy jonesing for his double latte 5 minutes after Starbucks closed.

Sarah K would so school you at the range.

#16 - Posted by: krakatoa on July 20, 2004 01:01 PM

hmm, y'all keep this up, and i might be forced to forgive Frank.

but not yet, i sell him lots of t-shirts. :)

keep at him, and keep saying such nice things about me, it will help me to stop wallowing in self-pity.

#17 - Posted by: sarahk on July 20, 2004 01:08 PM

Bad Frank!
Bad Bad Frank!

Sarah gets the Big Piece Of Chicken Tonight!

And the Remote!

Frank gets the dishes and the sofa!

Happy Birthday, Sarah!

#18 - Posted by: Imperial Lamplighter: LC Jack Deth on July 20, 2004 01:11 PM

sarah wa kirei da kedo, frank wa baka da yo.

#19 - Posted by: entrepreneur on July 20, 2004 01:11 PM

Frank is a French Communist.

Sarah K. is a total babe and I'd kill for the chance to get shoved down her pants.

#20 - Posted by: LCVRWC on July 20, 2004 01:29 PM

Frank secretly runs a monkey farm, and donates all his profits to Kerry/Edwards 4 prez and Democratic Socialists of America. In his spare time, he serves as official boot polisher for The Brady Campaign and M.M.M.
SarahK is a vision of lovliness, truly an angel come to earth, sure to marry well, and probably become President.
Bad Frank! Bad!

#21 - Posted by: Brian on July 20, 2004 01:37 PM

Hey Frank, Glenn called. He wants to know if you're done with the blender. You can keep the collars; but he doesn't want to know what you are going to do with the tails (yuck).

Sarah, you bring a touch of class that is desperately needed.

#22 - Posted by: Catch22 on July 20, 2004 01:49 PM

Frank J,
How dare you forget?
You are Michael Moore without the bodyfat.
You are John Kerry, without the charm.
You are Jane Fonda, without the workout video.
You are Bill Clinton without the Intern.
You are John Edwards without an ambulance to chase.
You are a horrible, liberal, French Looking... oh. fingers are cramping. I'll come back later and insult you some more.
Happy Birthday Sarah K. You are lovely and wonderful.
booo Frank. Boo Frank.

#23 - Posted by: rightwingduck on July 20, 2004 01:53 PM

Frank secretly has a poster of Michael Moore on the back of his bedroom door!

I wished Sarahk happy birthday on her ACTUAL birthday so I'm on her Christmas list already.

#24 - Posted by: jonag on July 20, 2004 01:53 PM

And, Michael Moore is only wearing a thong! Sorry, jonag just forgot that part, I'm not saying anything mean per my previous post. Jonag, however, can go off on you all day

#25 - Posted by: Wolf's Dawn on July 20, 2004 01:59 PM

Frank eats heaping bowls of monkey doots for breakfast.

Happy unbirthday, SarahK!

#26 - Posted by: beo on July 20, 2004 02:01 PM

Frank J, you make the Limey look like an all american.

Sarahk, you sure look younger than 28!

#27 - Posted by: SpaceMonkey on July 20, 2004 02:08 PM

Bad Frank!
You should be thrown in a river in a closed bag with Chim-Chim the evilest monkey. Or, alternatively we could exchange citizenship. You'd become the french loser and I would finally get rid of my frenchiness.
Happy Birthday to the hippy slayer!

#28 - Posted by: Leibhusar on July 20, 2004 02:11 PM

Bad Frank. May naughty left-wing space monkies harass your dreams. And no playing with guns for 10 days.

Instead of being a wishy-swishy weinie boy and writing a limp wristed apology, you could at least try to make up for it ... she has this huge Amazon wish list that's mostly unfullfilled. And roses and poetry aren't out of the question either.

#29 - Posted by: Drew on July 20, 2004 02:11 PM

Frank, you are lower than seven tons of whale manure. If I had my own t-shirt babe, you can bet I would never forget her birthday, especially when she is a drop-dead beautiful babe on the order of magnitude of SarahK. My god, that woman is gorgeous. She hurts my eyes and burns holes in my heart.

#30 - Posted by: Justin Case on July 20, 2004 02:21 PM

Dear Mr. Francios-Jaquies:
I unclog my nose at vous, I fart in your geeneral direction, vous leetle lap peeeg dog of an Anglase crummungeon! (my apologies to all the Monty Python fans).
Sarah:
Remember to have a great day and to always ask for the spam eggs and spam, not the spam, spam and eggs.

#31 - Posted by: Connecticut Yankee on July 20, 2004 02:53 PM

Bill Braskey, I mean Frank J is a goddamn sonofabitch.
sarah is a pretty lady

#32 - Posted by: Joey D on July 20, 2004 02:53 PM

Jonag... that was low!

Wolf's Dawn... normally I lose food reading this site by laughing while eating. Your addendum to Jonag's poster comment just about made me lose food I'd ALREADY eaten. :P

#33 - Posted by: krakatoa on July 20, 2004 03:10 PM

Frank, you smell like a Frenchman! (actually, that may be my mousepad which never bathes itself either...)

Happy Birthday to her t-shirt-babeness SarahK! You are our precious blonde angel from heaven, come down to earth to hawk t-shirts and cap hippies!

#34 - Posted by: Paleo on July 20, 2004 03:18 PM

Krakatoa, Thank you!! I was shooting low!

#35 - Posted by: jonag on July 20, 2004 03:19 PM

Frank, you have the goddess SarahK (goddess of war, might I presume?) fawning all over you, and you go and blow it like a stupid muckadoo? It's a good thing for you she has a totally hot little sister.

#36 - Posted by: Chris D on July 20, 2004 03:22 PM

Frank, go stand by the window while you're not getting killed or captured!

Sarah, you rock! Happy belated birthday!

#37 - Posted by: AWG on July 20, 2004 03:31 PM

You had BETTER make up for this, FrankJ! I'm thinking SarahK's actually the best choice for who to dish out your punishment, buddy-boy. Start begging for mercy now, 'cuz that bullwhip smarts.

If I don't hear that you've called her on the telephone and sent her something nice, I will be incredibly disappointed in you... and your future as an upstanding gentleman will be in jeopardy. Tsk, tsk, young man. What's stopping you from a quick trip to Texas this weekend? There are some great restaurants in Amarillo... and her lawnmower may need a bit of tinkering as well. You have a chance to do this up right, Frank dear. Don't let her down.

#38 - Posted by: IowaSoccerMom on July 20, 2004 03:46 PM

Frank - Don't feel too bad...I'm sure even Master Reagan forgot Nancy's Birthday a few times towards the end of his life.
Wait. He had Alzheimer's. What the hell is YOUR excuse?

SarahK - Happy Belated Birthday! Tonight, tip my glass too you!

#39 - Posted by: Mr. Bubble on July 20, 2004 04:16 PM

You, Frank (J.) are wrong about what the Iraq war was.

SarahK is a hottie, for someone who is wrong about what the Iraq war was. (i.e. NoT as hot as Jeaneneae Garofaglo but still hto)

#40 - Posted by: iraqwarwrong on July 20, 2004 04:51 PM

Happy Birthday Sarah!

Frank, you black hearted buzzard! Pack up, get out and don't come back until you have purchased a piece of jewelry suitable for begging forgiveness.

Veet!

#41 - Posted by: Robin on July 20, 2004 04:57 PM

Frank J. Is secretly an aging hippie liberal douche!! He's not the well-shaven, young looking 24 year old that his pics show him to be. That's his little brother. He's actually a 50+ long haired, pot smoking, tree-hugging hippie!!

SarahK is a godess, who's birthdays should take a year off her age instead of adding one on. I LOVE YOU, SARAHK!!! :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

#42 - Posted by: BearHunter on July 20, 2004 06:18 PM

Iraqwarwrong said," SarahK is a hottie, for someone who is wrong about what the Iraq war was. (i.e. NoT as hot as Jeaneneae Garofaglo but still hto)".

That was the meanest thing I ever heard. To say that somebody is below a muckadoo like Janeane Garofolo is something a monkey would do, or a hippie. Either way, it's eeevil! What are you, some kind of heathen?!

#43 - Posted by: on July 20, 2004 06:18 PM

Frank, may SarahK shake you like an English nanny! May she toss you like a Pilgrims' Pride employee! You underwashed monkey person, you!

SarahK, you are the bestest most awesomest T-shirt babe ever! Happy Birthday (again).

#44 - Posted by: dvgulliver on July 20, 2004 06:25 PM

Sarahk is very beautiful and Frank J Monkeybutt does not deserve her as his babe.

#45 - Posted by: Serenity on July 20, 2004 06:25 PM

Frank, you just suck.

SarahK, can I marry your sister?

#46 - Posted by: Jolly Roger on July 20, 2004 06:46 PM

Frank, you smell like cabbage.


Something nice about Sarahk?
Sarahk, you don't smell like cabbage

#47 - Posted by: Morphius Kane (Soon to be a Marine) on July 20, 2004 06:53 PM

awww, i heart all-a y'all. except maybe iraqwarwrong, because seriously, janeane garofalo? do you even OWN a set of eyeballs? but thanks anyway, i'm sure you meant it as a compliment. :)

you may all continue this Frank Bad / Sarah good juxtaposition.

#48 - Posted by: sarahk on July 20, 2004 06:59 PM

why do the best girls get such jerks like you, frank?

SarahK deserves better than you, frank. seriously, i'll bet even Wizbang has enough integrity to remember his babe's birthday.

happy belated birthday, SarahK, you make frank's site worth visiting!

#49 - Posted by: unkonwn on July 20, 2004 07:27 PM

Frnak, That’s right, I called you Frnak!

How dare you forget SarahK's birthday! You are stinkier than the skid-marks on Michael Moore's underwear! You are the poo that monkey’s fling. You are…FRENCH!

Happy belated birthday to the lovely (and very likely charming) SarahK, you are teh hotness!

#50 - Posted by: Lou on July 20, 2004 07:40 PM

Frank, forgetting the Babe's b-day is like drawing a bead on a hippie with your Desert Eagle but forgetting to chamber a round. Just incompetent.
As for SarahK, there oughtta be a song about her. Like "I wish they all could be Blonde Babes with peace tools, ooh ooh ooh..." She rocks!
Oh, and is, um, Little Sizzle, er, spoken for? Uh,I have a friend who wants to know.

#51 - Posted by: Waffle King on July 20, 2004 08:18 PM

Happy Birthday Sarah! May you have many more and stuff like that!

Frank,
That's a bad Frank. How do you think you're going to court her if you can't even mention her birthday! Forgetting her b-day was a horrible mistake, almost as bad as being a democrat.

#52 - Posted by: Reed the Viking on July 20, 2004 08:57 PM

How do you expect to marry the girl if you can't even remember her birthday?

#53 - Posted by: jimmy on July 20, 2004 09:12 PM

Poor Frank...he's taking quite a bashing. His poor head will be aching from the onslaught:

"I don't envy you the headache you'll have when you awake. But in the meantime, rest well, and dream of large women." (You don't deserve to dream of the young and beauteous SarahK.)

Happy Birthday to the maybe now not the future Mrs. Frank J.

#54 - Posted by: Dixie'Darlin on July 20, 2004 10:19 PM

Nice Princess Bride quote, Darlin'. All I have to add to that is that, in reference to Frank J. forgetting Sarahk's (heretofor referred to reverently as 'The Babe', to be spoken in hushed whispers) birthday, is absolutely and in all other ways inconceivable!

Love you, Mistress 'The Babe'
Kinda leery about you, Frank.

#55 - Posted by: Morphius Kane (Soon to be a Marine) on July 20, 2004 10:50 PM

Great catch, Morphius!! Of course, I would have thought it 'inconceivable' that Frank would forget *hushed whisper* - The Babe's birthday!!

#56 - Posted by: Dixie'Darlin on July 20, 2004 11:04 PM

Many happy returns SarahK.

Frnak, you have just gotten an (almost) absolutely free lesson on what it means to miss the b-day of your beloved. One day you will marry my friend. Remember this.

#57 - Posted by: Dave in Texas on July 20, 2004 11:49 PM

Frank: Forgetful
Sarah: HOT!

#58 - Posted by: Alsadius on July 21, 2004 12:13 AM

You are a monkeyboy, and SarahK is the hottest Republican gal in the blogosphere. ;-)

-The Real COnservative Carl
aka The Half-Elven Commie Slayer

#59 - Posted by: The Half-Elven Commie Slayer on July 21, 2004 12:55 AM

Your penalty for forgetting SarahK's birthday?

You get stuck down Sandy Berger's pants...
-funny (snort) hahaha

"I wished Sarahk happy birthday on her ACTUAL birthday so I'm on her Christmas list already."
- Me too so there .pbblbph!


#60 - Posted by: Joshua on July 21, 2004 01:07 AM

Frank, You're a baaaad man.

And Sarahk is waaay too hot to be YOUR tshirt babe.

You should ask michael moore to be your tshirt babe. thats how low down you are.

#61 - Posted by: Chad Coleman on July 21, 2004 01:29 AM

--We cannot adequately insult Frank for this heinous oversight. We must invoke The Bard for a proper tongue lashing:

"Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee."

*Taken from: All's Well That Ends Well

--And... if you ever forget again, Sarah will have to say this to you:

"Hence, horrible villain, I'll spurn thine eyes like balls before me; I'll unhair thy head, Thou shalt be whipp'd with wire, and stew'd'in brine, smarting in lingering pickle."

*Taken from: Antony and Cleopatra

--As for you, Sarah... your babe-li-ness remains intact and solid in spite of yon whelp's unforgiveable transgression. You remain the most special muse for us all... happy birthday!!

#62 - Posted by: Devil_Dog on July 21, 2004 02:14 AM

Happy belated birthday Sarah K! July 19th was actually my birthday too, but I was born the year Carter lost, not the year he was elected. That must've been awful the first four years under Carter. I really don't remember anything about him, as Reagan took office before my first B-day, and 12 years of Reagan-Bush was pretty cool growing up.

Hope you had a happy 28th, from someone celebrating his 24th!

#63 - Posted by: Joe, once a lurker, now a poster on July 21, 2004 07:10 AM

Frank,

Were you too busy spanking the monkey to an image of Micheal Moore, John Kerry and Noam Chomsky playing 'Lucky Pierre' on your bedroom ceiling to wish the lovely and talented Sarah a Happy Birthday?

You really ARE French, aren't you? I've even heard that you sleep with a latex monkey with the face of Hillary Clinton. You've even replaced the bible your father gave you with a copy of 'My Life.'

Hope you sleep well on your Osama and Saddam rubber bed-wetting sheets tonight.

#64 - Posted by: El Jefe on July 21, 2004 07:57 AM

Word to the wise, Frank: When you ask these folks to write something Mean and Nasty(tm), ya gets whats yas asks for.....

#65 - Posted by: Greywolf on July 21, 2004 08:08 AM

Morpheus, are you calling Frank a carnie? How big are your hands Frank?

Sarah, you are a T-Shirt Babe, among T-Shirt Babes. You are the T-Shirt Babe that T-Shirt Babes look up to for your T-Shirt Babe-ness. Happy BD!

#66 - Posted by: DNice on July 21, 2004 08:28 AM

SarahK: Happy belated birthday.

Frank: Low, evil, monkey scum should be on his knees groveling in front of SarahK with diamonds or other appropriate gifts in his hands.

Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper

#67 - Posted by: Elizabeth on July 21, 2004 12:11 PM

Poor Frnak. He shoots crappy groups because he limp-wrists his shootin' irons. He forgets Sarah's B-Day because of just a general state of limp-wristedness. After all, Frnak didn't forget John Kerry's B-Day, did he?
Now, Sarah on the other hand qualifies to be a much higher class Blog's T-shirt Babe. If Ronaldus Magnas were alive, in his prime and had a Blog Sarah could be HIS T-shirt babe.

#68 - Posted by: Peter on July 21, 2004 12:25 PM

Frank: You fool! You forgot the first rule of women: treat them with respect.

Sarah: Happy Birthday! Nice ass!

#69 - Posted by: Jeff Medcalf on July 22, 2004 12:39 AM

Picture of Frank walking naked in the backyard of his palatial Florida estate.

#70 - Posted by: El Jefe on July 22, 2004 08:07 AM

I don't think Frank is actually reading these insults, and thus not learning his lesson at all. This was merely a token gesture to appease the goddess SarahK.

#71 - Posted by: Chris D on July 22, 2004 09:31 AM

You miserable Canadian chimp vermin! Happy birthday, SarahK.

Hmm...Sarak....are you Vulcan?

#72 - Posted by: Nathan on July 24, 2004 12:48 AM

Up Frnak's!

#73 - Posted by: beo on July 26, 2004 12:02 AM

Frank: You will be Hillary Clinton's nominee for VP in 2008

SarahK: You will become the First Lady after I'm elected President in 2020 or 2024.

Love,
antodav

#74 - Posted by: antodav on July 31, 2004 03:26 PM
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