About IMAO



Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!


Buy funniest book ever!





IMAO Podcasts
IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter

Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!

About IMAO
Then conquer we must, for our cause is just, 
And this be our motto--'In God is our trust.' 
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave 
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK.

About Frank J.

Bloggers:
Frank J.
Harvey
RightWingDuck
Cadet Happy
spacemonkey
Laurence Simon
SarahK

Popular Categories
Fred Thompson Facts
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
lolterizt
IMAO Condensed
Know Thy Enemy
Editorials
Frank the Artist
In My World
Other Content
Ode to Violence
Brief Histories
IMAO Audio Bits


Read the Essay
Own the Shirt
Peace Gallery
Search IMAO
Google
Web www.imao.us
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds

"Unfunny treasonous ronin!"
-Lou Tulio*

"You, sir, are a natural born killer."
-E. Harrington

"You'll never get my job! Never!!!"
-Jonah Goldberg

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO."
-No One of Consequence

"A blogger with a sense of humor."
-Some Woman on MSNBC
Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQ
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Blackfive
Captain's Quarters
Classical Values
Conservative Grapevine
The Corner
The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!)
Dave in Texas
Eject! Eject! Eject!
Electric Venom
Hot Air
Puppy Blender
La Shawn Barber's Corner
Michelle Malkin
Pereiraville
Protein Wisdom
Rachel Lucas
Right Wing News
Scrappleface
Serenity's Journal
Townhall Blog

IMAO Blogroll
Bad Example
Cadet Happy
The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles
mountaineer musings
Right Wing Duck
SarahK & Cadet Happy snark TV
This Blog Is Full of Crap

Fred Thompson Links
Fred File
Blogs for Fred
Fred Thompson Facts
Awards



 

August 02, 2004
Leaving Las Vegas
Posted by Frank J. at 02:06 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (70)

Gambling results so far: Down $3650.85

I don't want to talk about it. I think the whole casino was against me ever since when I tried to roll the dice in craps and hit the dealer in the chest.

Anyway, off to a new land tomorrow. Said goodbye to the Greek by having him buy us an expensive buffet. I decided to write him a Bye-Ku like Best of the Web was doing:

A frick'n retard
Drove us around in circles
What's a slur for Greeks?

Well, hopefully I'll have a post for you late tomorrow afternoon... a real one - all special and hand crafted. Plus, I'll tell you what new wheel Dr. J will be chauffeuring me around in.

Oh, and didn't I have some big announcement for you all? Wait, I'm not supposed to tell you that for a week or so.

Later, y'all.

Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
70 Responses To "Leaving Las Vegas"

All I can say is: whoa.

Oh, and first!

#1 - Posted by: blackbird4739 on August 2, 2004 02:15 AM

Holy crap!

Problem is you're probably playing on the strip. The odds there are atrocious. The Station casinos are much better. (they cater to locals, that's why they have better odds)

#2 - Posted by: Brandon on August 2, 2004 02:50 AM

What the....?
Are you joking??
Lesson learned today.....the evils of gambling. Kids, don't try this at home!

#3 - Posted by: Jen on August 2, 2004 02:54 AM

damn - i hope that's a joke

#4 - Posted by: Orange County on August 2, 2004 03:40 AM

Sorry to hear Frank. How's that old saying go? Oh, right: Don't gamble when the odds are against you.

Or something like that.

#5 - Posted by: Indorphin on August 2, 2004 03:54 AM

a little old lady rolled you in Slot Machine Alley, eh?

Oh, "Greek Slur"?
==BareBacked Dry humpin' Butt Monkeys==
(this rip has been known to draw the Sullivan vote)

#6 - Posted by: TC-LeatherPenguin on August 2, 2004 04:51 AM

I like how you can bring out that sensitive poetic side of you whenever you want. That's talent. You should sell that stuff.

#7 - Posted by: Heath C. on August 2, 2004 04:58 AM

you should get the hell out of vegas before you lose your shirt! wow, hope your lucks turns round...

#8 - Posted by: ang on August 2, 2004 05:14 AM

$3650.85 ? I see you took my suggestion :) Well at least we know where you blog donations whent :)

#9 - Posted by: Monster Kabasue on August 2, 2004 07:43 AM

Hmm, that sucks.

#10 - Posted by: Laura on August 2, 2004 07:46 AM

Damn, Frank,

You're sounding like a woman from the Midwest who's 50lbs overweight complaining about her husband's driving yet will never get behind the wheel.

Oh, yeah, Greek slur: Brillo-backed butt-boy

#11 - Posted by: El Jefe on August 2, 2004 07:46 AM

Dagnabbit, that would buy a fair amount of ordnance...

#12 - Posted by: Nate on August 2, 2004 07:54 AM

eek, Frank! i hope the per diem makes up for it, but somehow i doubt it. sorry 'bout that.

#13 - Posted by: sarahk on August 2, 2004 07:54 AM

It's ok Frank. There should be places in the area where you can give blood plasma for cash. Just remember, those people like to draw the blood themselves; you can't just bring in a bucket full.

#14 - Posted by: LibertyBob on August 2, 2004 08:04 AM

Holy crap Chief, I hope that's not the real amount you're down.

For the Greek slur, I'm not sure what everyone else uses, but my mom and grandmother have come up with a few zingers in Greek.

#15 - Posted by: Turkeyhead on August 2, 2004 08:35 AM

Oh, so your money stays in Vegas too? They left that part out of the commercials.

#16 - Posted by: Dr.J on August 2, 2004 08:52 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Frank is poor! Wahahahahah...

Good one. Now pull the other one!

#17 - Posted by: beo on August 2, 2004 09:07 AM

Greek slur, in the appropriate 5-syllable meter:

'Worse than a damn Turk'

#18 - Posted by: beo on August 2, 2004 09:12 AM

damn Frank you need to learn how to count cards.

#19 - Posted by: random prose on August 2, 2004 09:16 AM

or, alternatively, you could learn to not assault casino staff. hehehehe you are funny.

#20 - Posted by: random prose on August 2, 2004 09:17 AM

Twenty-first!

#21 - Posted by: Victor on August 2, 2004 09:34 AM

It's really not necessary to slur a culture when their most honored and ancient warriors, the Spartans, were fairies. Oops, did I just say that out loud?

#22 - Posted by: Paul on August 2, 2004 09:54 AM

heh, first post for me. Maybe your next vehicle should be one of those SUV Limo's. They are even bigger. Don't worry aboutyour lack of political satire the last few posts. I got my fix from (trust me people) the hilarious stupidity of planned parent hood. http://www.ppaction.org/ppvotes/choice_chick.html

#23 - Posted by: J I Erde on August 2, 2004 10:20 AM

Of course, there is always a bright side. I just bought Frank's car from a casino/mafia collection goon for $4000.00!

#24 - Posted by: Chris on August 2, 2004 10:27 AM

uh, I don't think Frank's car would be worth more than, oh, say $200.00. sucker!

#25 - Posted by: maggie katzen on August 2, 2004 11:22 AM

Frank, I'm assuming/hoping that your kidding. If not, you have a lot of explaing to do to Sarahk.

(agentsmith)
Misster Eeerde, so nice of you to join usss...
(/agentsmith)

#26 - Posted by: Trucido on August 2, 2004 11:29 AM

PIMF.

#27 - Posted by: Trucido on August 2, 2004 11:31 AM

Damned mafia collections goons!

#28 - Posted by: Chris on August 2, 2004 11:37 AM

"Gambling results so far: Down $3650.85"

off to a new land tommorrow...off to a new landlord when you come home.

#29 - Posted by: Jauyme on August 2, 2004 12:21 PM

You all left out the part where frank said he had a big announcement next week...which is he can't afford to keep this blog running.

#30 - Posted by: Jayme on August 2, 2004 12:26 PM

You can afford to be down that much and you bought a Hyundai?

We still love you but, come on!!!!

#31 - Posted by: Wolf's Dawn on August 2, 2004 12:46 PM

Viva Lost Wages

#32 - Posted by: Dave in Texas on August 2, 2004 12:58 PM

geez, i would have thought a person as conservative as you would be wiser with his money.

#33 - Posted by: Rikor on August 2, 2004 01:06 PM

36 hundred??

THAT is frick'n retarded

#34 - Posted by: gibsonrlz on August 2, 2004 01:18 PM

Oh well you only live once

#35 - Posted by: gibsonrlz on August 2, 2004 01:20 PM

All the money from all those NTM shirts. FLUSH.

#36 - Posted by: spacemonkey on August 2, 2004 01:25 PM

Though I do not comment alot I read nearly everyday. My comments always seem so pithy but when I post they lose their charm. I hope to grow up and have a blog someday.

I am a big fan. A loyal fan and reader.

Humbly I ask...Can you explain what brought you from playing with hundreds to 10's of hundreds? Was there a little voice? An overwhelming sense of peace? Dread? just curious

#37 - Posted by: gibsonrlz on August 2, 2004 01:32 PM

3650.85? You're joking right?! Please say your joking. You can buy a pretty big diamond with that kind of moolah.

I only know Italian slurs (married a Sicilian), but I think they're kind of interchangeable with the Greek slurs.

#38 - Posted by: jonag on August 2, 2004 01:42 PM

Yeah, Frank got way too drunk on his bourbon with Guinness chasers and started dropping four-figure bets on the middle card when he stumbled across the three card monty table out on the sidewalk.

#39 - Posted by: beo on August 2, 2004 02:27 PM

Dang, Frank J... looks like it's all been said, so I'll give you your own haiku:

IMAO means
"I'M An Offensive gambler"?
Next time, buy a clue.

Never forget the timeless words of Samurai Kenny-san (Rogers) regarding taking risks:

You've got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them. Know when to walk away, and know when to run.

#40 - Posted by: krakatoa on August 2, 2004 02:36 PM

Well if your not joking, at least gambeling losses are TAX DEDUCTIBLE!!!!
I love capitalism.

#41 - Posted by: John in Utah on August 2, 2004 02:46 PM

I never liked that song. Gag, gag, gag.
I liked the movie Six Pack, though. Those kids were funny until they decided to behave, then it was a snore-fest.

Coward of the County could use some re-writing. Everyone considered him the coward of the country. He never stood one single time to prove the country wrong. His mama named him Jacques. The folks just called him (insert whatever the French word is for yellow. I don't remember)....

#42 - Posted by: Wolf's Dawn on August 2, 2004 03:07 PM

Hey, I'm no big country music fan here, but I won't tolerate any disparaging remarks about Kenny. He's the man.

#43 - Posted by: beo on August 2, 2004 03:13 PM

I played semi-pro Blackjack for awhile, had a major loss where I took plenty of balls to the table, but forgot my brains. Even then, I only lost about $800 in one night.

I'm thinking $3500 would buy a certain someone a nice sparkly rock...which would kinda count as gambling on a "yes".

FYI- Gambling Losses are NOT tax deductible!!!!

Found that out when I tried to write off my big loss above. You can only use "gambling losses" to offsett taxable gambling **winnings**. And only if you win some serious cash does the casino report it.

#44 - Posted by: Jolly Roger on August 2, 2004 03:58 PM

$3650.85???

thats like 75 lap dances!!

#45 - Posted by: Josh on August 2, 2004 04:10 PM

KERRY HAS MAFIA TIES
and tried to censor the truth

http://forums.santacruzsentinel.com/cgi-bin/forums/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=001170

http://murdertheleft.blogspot.com/

#46 - Posted by: Murder T. Left on August 2, 2004 04:12 PM

Actually, it's more like 182.5 lap dances.

#47 - Posted by: Jolly Roger on August 2, 2004 04:12 PM

Frank,

I know that this is off topic, however, I would like you to know that the Grand Muckadoo Ian has given me the incentive to start my own blog (right wing conservative, of course). I would like some suggestions for a URL. So far I have...

stompiansgutsout.us
longstrongandright.us
ian_smells_like_his_hippy_girlfriends.us(might be a bit long; (islhhg.us))

Thanks for any insight...

Carl

#48 - Posted by: Carl P on August 2, 2004 04:25 PM

Dang! I hope that you lost that in a cool gamble like, "I bet this rented Ferrari can take that turn at this speed" type of gamble.

As far as the Greek thing, wasn't Dukakis Greek? I can't think of anything more insulting than taking the blame for his existance/political career.

#49 - Posted by: Jenno on August 2, 2004 04:46 PM

lol @ Josh & Jolly Roger for doing the math for their locations.

Begs the question. What's the difference between a 50 dollar lapdance, and a 20 dollar one?

#50 - Posted by: krakatoa on August 2, 2004 04:47 PM

Josh and Jolly Roger:

As a capitalist, I have to point out that you may both be right. The $/lap-dance will improve with capital investment, e.g. various implants and suckings out of unwanted material. Of course, there are no guarantees in the free market system, but if she is diligent and follows good customer service practices with a smile on her face, there's no reason she can't recoup her investments very quickly.

#51 - Posted by: Paul on August 2, 2004 04:49 PM

Frnak!

Say it ain't so....

"Gambling results so far: Down $3650.85"

Unbelievable, did you bet the blog too?

I am so astonished.....

I hope you learned your lesson, young man.

#52 - Posted by: Joshua on August 2, 2004 05:13 PM

For 50 bucks you get more knee action. (or so I am told).

#53 - Posted by: Josh on August 2, 2004 05:26 PM

Carl,

My vote is for longstrongandright.us

Don't do Ian any favors, I already cater to him enough, he's my biggest customer...er..visitor.

#54 - Posted by: Joshua on August 2, 2004 05:42 PM

"Begs the question. What's the difference between a 50 dollar lapdance, and a 20 dollar one?"

Suviners...a little something.....

To remember them by.

#55 - Posted by: Joshua on August 2, 2004 05:44 PM

Thanks for the vote Joshua, it seems to be my favorite also.

I already had enough of him (Ian the Red)on this blog. I can't stand when people ignore fact, cause they choose to.

#56 - Posted by: Carl P on August 2, 2004 05:45 PM

"Gambling results so far: Down $3650.85"

Holy Shnikey! Almost makes me wanna say "who's the frickin' retard now?!" But I won't. ;-)

#57 - Posted by: on August 2, 2004 06:16 PM

And don't forget, that's also 3650 1/2 dollar buffets.

You may want to keep this site handy.

#58 - Posted by: Protagonist on August 2, 2004 06:24 PM

Please tell me that's a typo!
How do you go from betting nickle in the the "monoply thingy" to blowing over 3 grand?

I hope you stole 3,000 ashtrays.

and the towels. and sheets, and lamps, and TV, and...

Oh, well. At least you still have us.

Frank. Frank? Frank?

Ooooh. He's starting to cry. I um. have to. um go . Now.


#59 - Posted by: rightwingduck on August 2, 2004 06:37 PM

Frank....

You are SO Busted when SarahK and SoccerMom find out!

No Snickers Brownies for you. Off to bed without your supper.

#60 - Posted by: Imperial Lamplighter: LC Jack Deth on August 2, 2004 06:55 PM

what's all this talk of lap dances for Frank?? bad!! no no!! i'd rather he lost it playing craps in my honor.

#61 - Posted by: sarahk on August 2, 2004 07:38 PM

Wolf's Dawn...

The mystery word is "Juane" Now, say it out loud, and a big yellow duck comes down. And any Frenchperson in the room will promptly surrender to the duck.

Why slur Greeks when you can slur the French? Could you call Geeks "Balkan French"?

Tom

#62 - Posted by: Tom on August 2, 2004 07:44 PM

haha, i just got that you said y'all. that's so cute.

#63 - Posted by: sarahk on August 2, 2004 07:47 PM

He's never done THAT before! That IS cute.

#64 - Posted by: jonag on August 2, 2004 09:08 PM

Thanks, Tom. Figures it's a pansy word.

#65 - Posted by: Wolf's Dawn on August 2, 2004 10:38 PM

Carl:

I too am an Ian. In regards to your blog's URL, I repectfully request that you either be more specific as to which Ian you are referring, or drop the reference altogether so as to avoid casting the dispersion too wide.

Thank you,
an Ian.

#66 - Posted by: lochiancrackers on August 2, 2004 11:18 PM

I was referring to Ian McGibboney

#67 - Posted by: Carl P on August 3, 2004 12:08 PM

Iama McNugget?

#68 - Posted by: Joshua on August 4, 2004 02:36 PM

Dearest Frank:

I believe the term "Greek" is insulting enough, on its own.

Danjo
just trying to help

#69 - Posted by: Danjo on August 5, 2004 06:20 PM

The best bitches on the web

#70 - Posted by: weak sister bitch on November 12, 2004 02:55 PM
Post a comment




Remember me?

(You may use HTML tags for style)

 

Buy IMAO T-Shirts


IMAO T-Shirts

The IMAO T-Shirt Babe
(winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!!
Yay! Books!





Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24
American Idol
Aqua-Adventures
Barackalypse Now
Best of IMAO 2002
Best of IMAO 2006
Bite-Sized Wisdom
Editorials
Election 2008
Filthy Lies
Frank Answers
Frank Discussions
Frank on Guns
Frank Reads the Bible
Frank the Artist
Fred Thompson Facts
Friday Cat-Blogging
Fun Trivia
Hellbender
Hellbender Take Two
Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths
Humor
I Hate Frank
If I Were President
ignis fatuous
IMAO Condensed
IMAO Exclusives
IMAO for the Non-Deaf
IMAO Reviews
IMAO Think Tank
In My World
In My World - Fan Fiction
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
Know Thy Enemy
lolterizt
Michael Moore
Mitt Romney Ads
News Round-Up
Newsish Fakery
No, McCain't
Our Military
Permalink Contest
Precision Guided Humor Assignments
Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul
Ronin Profiles
Ronin Thought of the Day
SarahK's TV stuff
Scary Evil Monkey
Simpsons Trivia
Songs & Poems
State of the Frank Report
Superego
Totally True Tidbits
WEsistance Is Facile
Why Me Laugh?
Yvonne's Ashes
By Month
December 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
March 1933