While you get some sleep, we'll keep an eye out for any more moonbat lefties calling you a racist for not liking monkeys.

Shouldn't that make you a speciesist?

At least you're in good company. I saw a documentary made by Charlton Heston where monkeys take over the earth.

Hey if Farenheit is a documentary, then Planet of the Apes can be one too.

Get 'yer paws off me you damn smelly ape!

Frank snores! heehee.

Hey! We've been good while you were gone (most of us anyway, no names mentioned)! We want an announcement!!!!!

When you say "po", do you mean that as a racial slur?

Good nite, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite!

Glad you had a semi-good trip.

BTW, if you want to learn how to play poker, go to http://www.partypoker.net/

Welcome back to Florida, Frank. Yep, it's still raining.

S

i snore too, but very lightly. except when i had my wisdom teeth cut out and they had me on heavy drugs. i snored so loudly i woke myself.

jonag, your inbox is full!

dem should be frank's next target...com on frank we've patronized the guy...but you will really sock it to em i know it!!!! Hey dem e-mail him i DARE YA.

As I have said many times before, Star Wars Espiodes 1-6 are have more truth and are more realistic than packoflies 9-11.

I love flying, about as much as listening to ol' Frenchurian Candidate Kerry speaking. I am glad when I am on the ground, away from the airports.

(Hey look, there is that big blond guy in line that looks like a Bush supporter - let's make him take off his belt and his shoes heh heh)

[pedant]"Oft gang agley" means "often go awry".[/pedant]

Frenchurian...heh heh.

Frank:
Hate to say it this way....but I feel your pain. I once spent the night at that five star resort also know as O'hare International, lovely ambiance, comfy pillows, exquisite cuisine; I'd recommed it everyone. Oh and sarahk said drugs tee hee.

There are a few airports that have a Fox Skybox Bar. You can smoke in them, too. I've spent many a' lay-over hours in those places...drinking Scotch and smoking cigarettes all night. I heard once that they don't allow drunk people to get on the plane, but that hasn't happened to me. Yet.

WELCOME BACK FRANK!

(sung to the tune of Welcome back, Cotter.)

I am so glad you are back.
The muckadoos are running amok.
(..or amuck, if you want to be punny about it.)

Help Frank, we need your wisdom and snappy come backs.

God bless you, honorable ronin.
Sleep well, and snore to your hearts content.

Mr. Bubbles, if the pilots can be drunk, why can't the passengers?

But I thought the big announcement was yesterday, that you are Atrios/Glenn Reynolds/Michelle/SarahK/everyone but me, and basically you are the entire blogosphere single-handed.

As one of the "po' wittle pilots" you speak of [Note: Oh, how I wish I was "wittle" again, and the way things are going in my industry there is every possibility I will be "po'" very soon.] let me add a different perspective.

When it is stormy and thundery, it makes very good sense not to try to fly through it. You do not want to be inside, under or directly near a thunderstorm cell. People have been killed by doing so.

Those of us who work in the airline are well aware of how inconvienent it is to have your travel plans disrupted. We have to balance the requirement to always operate safely with the expectation that we will get you to your destination reasonably close to schedule. It costs the airlines a ton of money (as well as the loss of good-will) when we have weather interruptions like you experienced.

Anon...

Big news my friend. He is you too. Sorry to break it to you.

Speaking of, aren't there some math whiz types out there that can mathematically prove Frank J. is everyone?

Frankj, i no understand when you say:

we will not eat you... ha ha it is more fun to be fat. come close...WE ARE FRIENDS...NOW! but it was stormy in atlanta, and the thunder must of scared the po' wittle pilots, sososo We fell through a floor we are so fat!! RAAAAHRRR We are creatures!! no luck.thankyou for the dance fag. PLEASE TURN YOUR BUTT FOR A GOOD HUMP. big like your butt?? NEXT FLIGHT IS 8:15AM.

Mathmatically prove Frank is everyone?

Well, Douglas Adams showed that the population of the universe is, in fact, zero using the following logic;

There are an infinite number of planets, because the Universe is infinite. But we know that not all planets are inhabited, making the total number of living beings a finite number.

Now, any finite number divided by infinity is as close to zero as makes no odds, so when you round down the average population of any inhabited planet is zero.

But there is the Frank Paradox. We know that Frank exists, and now we know, thanks to those amazing intellects at the those other blogs, that in a freakish cosmological coincidence Frank is, in fact, more than one person. Now, in a universe with mathematically zero people, we suddenly have a guy that is in fact more than one. By tearing and re-sewing the very fabric of the universe, Frank IS all people, even as all the while there are none.

Thus it is proven, The Frank is everybody and everybody is The Frank. Anyone who is not part of The Frank is in denial and will be destroyed by the S.M.I.T.E. Space Laser!!!!!!!!!

"the best laid schemes o' Mice an' Men, gang aft agley"

I always thought that was just referring to some bizarre Massachusetts marriage ritual.

Nicely put Chris. I'd like to see some other proofs other than the Adams Theoretical Quotient, but it is compelling.

Follow up question. If the population of the universe is zero, with the paradoxical exception of Frank J., what's with all those monkeys?

Miguel-
That was the most frightening site I have ever seen.

I think I just lost the sight in my one good eye. Now what am I gonna do?

I have to speak to my computer now.
You sick little monkey.

Computer, send massive virus to Miguel's computer.

End transmission....

Krakatoa, the monkeys are a massive hallucination by Frank after he stole all of Sarahk's wisdome tooth removal drugs and took them all at once. The real question is whether or not it's still theft when he stole them from Sarahk, who is actually Frank.

Frank J is a fake! Talkin' all this mess about being a patriotic "uber-American" when he's really living in Australia.

But if SaraHk is actually frank j, and frank j is actually Mr. Black, then if I clean Mr. Black's pool, could I see SaraHk's little sister's in a bikini??

OTT, don't make me come over there and mess you up. grrrrrr.

i meant, RARRRR!

Nelsom Muntz "HA HA!" and finger point at Frank.

WUSSIE! So you snore sleeping under airport chairs!

Try spending 18 hours stuck at O'Hare in the middle of 40 mph snowstorm. Eyes wide open. Cranked from a box of No-Doz and countless cups of bad coffee!

Granted, this was before CNN, but it was still a Whole Lot Of No Fun.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Glad to have you back, Pseudo-Intel Czar!

Krakatoa, if you watch the Matrix movies close enough, you'll see that Agent Smith is wearing a Nuke the Moon shirt under his suit. This should make it clear how Frank can be so many people at the same time.

OK sarahk, I am properly chastised... I retract my previous ogling attempt and will watch my back from now on……

Awwwww... Come on Wendy's Mom.

If Frank has something special to tell us he will.

So you grab one one arm.

I'll grab the other.

And SarahK can motivate Frank to talk by tickling him.

I think the majority of the guys here are hoping SarahK can't fall for a guy who snores.

From a guy who does about 120,000 miles a year.

Air travel pretty much sucks. No fault of the people who work in the industry. It just sucks.

I think the majority of the guys here are hoping SarahK can't fall for a guy who snores.
Posted by AMJoe at August 6, 2004 11:16 PM

Or a guy who smokes..blehk..ptooie!

Yes guys, but some girls think snoring is cute. And all the girls here think Frank is cute so if Sarahk is one of those girls that think snoring is cute than that just doubles his cuteness in her eyes thus decreasing all of yours! Hmmmmm.... Think about it.

Clint Eastwood smoked cigarillo-type stuff in his movies.

For those of you that haven't tried one of those, or a cigar, during or after a day at the range, you are missing out.

Yeah. It's a man thing.

Stinky man thing.
I gave all smoking up. I am in my 6 day of no more wacky-weed!

The old head is clearing just fine and soon I will be in tip top muckadoo slaying form. I already am, with even my brain fogged.

Just like Rush Limbaugh, I can kick Lib-Dem-girlie-man butts, even on drugs. Either we are super intelligent or the Libs are just pathetic....

Hmm..I think I just dissed myself.

"HAHA" - as Philopher Muntz would say

God I love it when you ramble...

Joshua, I FEEL YOUR PAIN! Anticipating peeing in cup pretty soon. If only I was a cokehead, I'd only have to quit for a couple of days, alkie--a couple of hours. Lover of mother nature--couple of months maybe? (Stored in fat cells.) I just hope to God they don't do a hair test! I might have to settle for flippin burgers, damn.

MarginMI,

just quit that hippy sh*t!
You don't need it.

Induction proof:

Base case: One blogger is in fact one blogger.

nth case: If we have n bloggers, choose one to ignore for the moment, and we have n-1 bloggers who are all the same by induction. Then choose a different one of the original n bloggers to ignore, and again the n-1 remaining are the same by induction.

So all bloggers are one and the same.

(if this sounds familiar to anyone, it's modified from a "proof" that all horses are the same color)

Algebra proof that Frank J. = all bloggers:

Assume Frank is one folk:
Frank = 1
Subtract each side from Frank squared:
Frank^2 - Frank = Frank^2 - 1
Factor each side:
Frank(Frank-1) = (Frank+1)(Frank-1)
Frank = Frank + 1
Substitute first line:
Frank = 1+1 = 2

repeat a gazillion times until Frank equals all bloggers.
(Frank = 1 gazillion)
Substitute full name:
Frank J. = 1 gazillion

This would explain why more blogs pop up every day but you never actually meet a blogger in real life. I guess we readers are just as much to blame for this hoax. I have just been reading these blogs without carefully looking into who is writing them.