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August 21, 2004
The Grand Canyon Coverup?

Hi Readers. Guestblogger rightwingduck here. I had to work today so I thought, "I might as well post something today." Then I thought, "hmmm. donuts." So today is a good day so far.

I was emailing with Steve over at DLVD and he posted something about what Frank and Sarah are REALLY doing. Hmmm. SMITE? Intellegince Czar? Sarah appaears to be getting some text messages out, but maybe she's in some secret underground location?

Maybe this whole budding romance thing is just a cover-up?

But cover-up for what?

I welcome all theories. Post in comments. If you have links to your site on your ideas, I'll post those as well.

Come to think about it, I could have sworn a saw a rocket car zip by here not too long ago.

Rating: 2.6/5 (5 votes cast)

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40 Responses To "The Grand Canyon Coverup?"

Primero

#1 - Posted by: Joshua on August 21, 2004 12:26 PM

A Silver for Team Bad Example! No thanks to Harvey ;-)

#2 - Posted by: Sally on August 21, 2004 12:36 PM

I concur. I’m beginning to suspect that the entire IMAO Official T-Shirt Babe Contest was an elaborate ruse by Frank to find a girlfriend. (In which case, it was a diabolically brilliant and successful plan, way to go Frank!) Maybe you should go back into the archives and change every reference to “Official T-Shirt Babe Contest” to “Official Find Frank J. A Hot, Gun-toting Girlfriend Contest.”

But on the other hand, if we are going to let our conspiracy theories run rampant, then I think they are secretly plotting to challenge President Bush at the RNC national convention for the President and Vice President nomination.

Or, perhaps, planning the second wave against the Puppy Blender?

But personally, I think they’re just making little Frank and Sarah J-K’s. (*GASP!* Did he really just say that in Frank J’s comments??? He’s going to get S.M.I.T.E.’ed!!!)

#3 - Posted by: Red Mist on August 21, 2004 01:00 PM

Hmmm. For the first time in the history of IMAO I think we are going to be deleting some comments.

Hmmm. Red Mist. Go stand in the corner and think about what you just said.

My Theory,

Frank J owns stock in Rocket Cars. If he does succeed in becoming the Czar, he has an insider track for the rocket car market. Halliburton is rumored to be coming out with a rocket car as well.

SMITE has been tested. Yes, remember the big French Heat Wave? The one that killed 15,000 people and got zero press coverage here.

At first I thought it was just the Liberal media afraid to cast aspersions onto the wonderful socialized medicine of France - but maybe, hmm.

A lot of the corn fields turned to Popcorn and nobody ever had an explanation, except for light refracting of Venus.

#4 - Posted by: rightwingduck on August 21, 2004 01:22 PM

Oh I didn't even place, Sally! I'm 5th. Didn't even make it into the finals if this is a heat race. GRR!

#5 - Posted by: Boudicca on August 21, 2004 01:27 PM

It's simple really, they're planning to take over the world 'a la Pinky and the Brain: I don't know all the details, but it involves a propane powered rocket car and a concentrated B.O. extract...

#6 - Posted by: el Seco on August 21, 2004 01:28 PM

PLEASE, what do you take us for? Idiots?

You know perfectly well what Frank and Sarah are up too - you've just posted this post to act as a smokescreen - we all know you are in on it!

But what is 'it'?

#7 - Posted by: Poosh on August 21, 2004 02:07 PM

Methinks they are in a secret meeting with Carl Rove and will leave their secret cave in the Grand Canyon for California. Once there they will go to the election headquarters and secretly type in Pat Buchanan's name on all of the ballots so as to anger and confuse all the pot-smoking Berkeley-types into accidently mis-voting, thus giving California to the Republicans (Ahnuld is in on it too!). Or something like that.

#8 - Posted by: jonag on August 21, 2004 03:07 PM

Weekends suck..

http://michaelsavagelistener.blog-city.com/

#9 - Posted by: Joshua on August 21, 2004 03:23 PM

A few days ago Senator Ted Kennedy wasn't allowed to board a plane because his name resembled an alias used by a suspected terrorist.

I think it's pretty obvious what Frank and Sarah are up to: they're becoming international terrorists. Once they have the CIA after them they'll adopt their new aliases: John Kerry and John Edwards. They'll then resume their previous identities and return to America just in time to see Kerry and Edwards stopped from boarding commercial airlines.

Of course, my theory requires that Kerry's personal jet be destroyed somehow...Frank and Sarah are sure to be taking care of that with a brilliant plan most likely involving communists.

#10 - Posted by: Senor Awesome on August 21, 2004 03:38 PM

well, i've already laid out my conspiracy theory here: http://www.dlvd.net/index.php?p=334

the possible mother of all filthy lies about Glenn... I wonder if Glenn intends to respond to it...

or if he's going to file a complaint with the Federal Blog Commission...

#11 - Posted by: steve on August 21, 2004 03:40 PM

Steve,
If you hadn't banished me I might be able to read it.

oh well,no big loss anyway.

The pictures were cool though.

#12 - Posted by: Joshua on August 21, 2004 03:48 PM

banished?

#13 - Posted by: steve on August 21, 2004 03:58 PM

yea I can't get in there anymore.

It says: "The specified server cannot be found"

#14 - Posted by: Joshua on August 21, 2004 04:51 PM

I think it was because i stole the Lmer and bugz pic and put it on my blog...with a link to you as the original source.

And ever since then i can't get into your blog.

I trashed the blog entry by the way.

But I might just have t-shirts made and sell them...j/k

#15 - Posted by: Joshua on August 21, 2004 04:54 PM

My theory is this: Frank really was killed in hurricane Charley, and SarahK has been posting as Frank. She spent years studying every intricate detail of Frank's funny. She travelled abroad to train under the world's foremost samurai political satirists, as well as some mildly humorous Buddhist monks. The day she won the IMAO t-shirt babe contest, that was the day Frank's fate was sealed. Through her official position in IMAO, SarahK would be able to get closer to Frank. To learn his ways. To immitate him. To become him. This alleged "trip" is actually an intricate cover-up for SarahK to destroy all evidence of Frank's death. Her plan is to skin Frank's corpse, then wear his skin as her own for the entire trip back west. You know those "meat selections" that "Frank" keeps talking about having on his "team-building expedition"? Those are, without a doubt, Mr. Frank J's innards, carefully concealed in a pic-a-nic basket. With her new Frank skin, SarahK will be able to complete the illusion that she is none other than Frankford H. Jay III, better known as Frank J. SarahK is one of an evil, twisted mind, and a smokin' hot bod. And to think, she almost got away with it! But even now that we've unravelled her elaborate web of lies, is there anything we can do to stop her? She now owns the specs for S.M.I.T.E., but unlike Frank J, she has the genious, as well as the means, to bring the project to fruition. She also has obtained his entire collection of guns, 'cept she knows better than to dual-wield her firearms when trying to hit a target. Is there nothing, at this point, that we can do to stop this? Will SarahK usurp Frank's legacy, while we all lay impotent? Forbid it, Almighty God!

Ooh, meat selections!

#16 - Posted by: Chris D on August 21, 2004 04:54 PM

I think it was because i stole the Lmer and bugz pic and put it on my blog...with a link to you as the original source.

And ever since then i can't get into your blog.

I trashed the blog entry by the way.
yeah, I remember seeing that entry on your blog-city site, and when I was going to post a reply saying thanks for the acknowledgement, i noticed it was gone. Your issue with trying to contact my site might be an ISP issue, for I can assure you that I am doing nothing to deny you or anyone access to my site (unless you're using Internet Explorer, in which case a friendly message greets you saying that you really shouldn't be using Internet Explorer, but you can view it in all its ugliness anyways). I noticed though that sometimes my ISP denies me access to my own site even if the server is up and running, and for others it grants access to without question. From here on, I really can't help you... i can try to give you the IP: 216.10.20.4 to see if it's a name obfuscating issue... but, really, i apologize for the inconvenience, and though I try to irritate apple and IE users, i'm not actively denying you access to my site.

If anyone else has issues, please let me know... not that my site's a big deal, but if you're curious...

#17 - Posted by: steve on August 21, 2004 05:04 PM

Steve,
TY, and I will be glad to steal the L-mer pic again.

I will do that on monday, when I have access to a pc.

My mac sucks because I have to be fluent in HTML to do any fancy posting.

I think I will invite Bruce Banner over to smash my mac....

#18 - Posted by: Joshua on August 21, 2004 05:21 PM

Steve,
TY, and I will be glad to steal the L-mer pic again.

I will do that on monday, when I have access to a pc.

My mac sucks because I have to be fluent in HTML to do any fancy posting.

I think I will invite Bruce Banner over to smash my mac....

#19 - Posted by: Joshua on August 21, 2004 05:24 PM

Chris D,
Gross!! I love it! Shades of Silence of the Lambs and The Talented Mr. Ripley. Hmmmm....you might have a great idea for a screenplay!?

That is until they get back from their trip and post pictures of the two of them standing side by side.

#20 - Posted by: jonag on August 21, 2004 05:29 PM

First to say first in English.

(yeah, I do what I can)

I stick to my "throw hippies in canyon contest" theory.
We weren't invited because we'd then be accused of idioticide and attempted genocide.
The hearings attempting to conclude if and how hippies constitute people would take until the rest of our natural lives alone, and even with our VRWC CIA-extended lives, we wouldn't see the end of it.

#21 - Posted by: Francesco Poli on August 21, 2004 05:55 PM

My theory? They're in the middle of the desert, right? Well, what else is in the middle of the desert...that's right Roswell, New Mexico which is home to what? Aliens.

That's right. They're communicating with their alien superiors on how they can better defeat the dumb (democrat) side of America.

Or they're just enjoying one of the finest natural wonders.

#22 - Posted by: Indorphin on August 21, 2004 06:25 PM

I got it! They're in Athens warming up for the beach volleyball finals!! Poor Frank, I'm not sure how that bikini thing is going to work out.

#23 - Posted by: jonag on August 21, 2004 06:30 PM

band-aids and dental floss are the new official volleyball uniforms.

I announced that under the Oly-imp-icks post

#24 - Posted by: Joshua on August 21, 2004 06:59 PM

Sorry duck, I couldn't resist. I'll be good little blogger now.

#25 - Posted by: Red Mist on August 21, 2004 07:14 PM

*a good

#26 - Posted by: Red Mist on August 21, 2004 07:15 PM

"Chris D,
Gross!! I love it!"

Why, thank you so kindly.

"Hmmmm....you might have a great idea for a screenplay!?
That is until they get back from their trip and post pictures of the two of them standing side by side."

Well, SarahK surely has minions by now. I'm sure we'll see a picture of some minion in the Frank skin, right next to SarahK. Or perhaps a masterful photoshop...

#27 - Posted by: Chris D on August 21, 2004 07:42 PM

Yeah steve i cant get into your blog thing-a-ma-bob either. maybe you should fix it.

#28 - Posted by: AJ on August 21, 2004 09:04 PM

What better way to hide something then put it in plain sight.

#29 - Posted by: 007 on August 21, 2004 10:12 PM

yea Steve fix it.

We don't want to use anything but IE
lol

#30 - Posted by: Joshua on August 21, 2004 10:38 PM

i'll be honest here... i have seven web browsers: Internet Explorer, Konqueror, Firefox, Mozilla, Firebird, Galeon and Opera between two different operating systems, and it all renders the site, though it obviously looks best in Mozilla products. I honestly don't know where the problem lies... if you use Internet Explorer, or an engine thereof, you'll get notified that you are naughty and shouldn't do it... but that's that, no redirecting, no blocking, etc. al.

I'll talk to my host about it, but i'm more inclined to think that my host isn't the problem.

#31 - Posted by: steve on August 21, 2004 11:10 PM

I just tried three different browsers on your site, Steve. None worked. Something about the host being unreachable, or the server being down. Something like that.

Those would be Safari, IE, and Mozilla. Yes, I do have a Mac.

#32 - Posted by: Indorphin on August 22, 2004 12:03 AM

You can always search for "dlvd.net" on Google and view their cache. It probably won't always be up to date, though.

#33 - Posted by: Mario on August 22, 2004 12:05 AM

heh, Mac users, but anyways, as much as I toyed with the idea of denying access to the Mac users just because I could, I eventually didn't. After all, Macs, though silly, are safer to use than a Windows operating system. I also talked to my host about it, and he concurs that it's no issue of the server. In looking over my hits for the month of August, 621 have come from Macintosh (1.5%) and 3235 came from Linux (7.8%).

I'm sorry folks, but I honestly don't know what to tell you all. I asked the RWD in one of my e-mails to him to publish anything of mine he thought amusing since it'd get greater coverage... and he can view my site easily. I must thank you people though, sincerely, for showing such interest in my site. And I will continue to fight for your right to view dlvd.net safely and securely, fighting against the interests of Big Oil, Big Business, Big Pharmaceuticals, and Big Instapundit...

note: I work at a computer lab when I'm at school (at the Ohio State University - Go Bucks), and there's, unfortunately, ample Macintoshes to use there when i'm not repairing printers. They're slow as molasses, but when I go back in a couple weeks, I'll give my site a go from there so I can see first hand if it works.

Anymore, if you have any questions, you can e-mail me at stevepwns-at-gmail-dot-com ... or steve-at-dlvd-dot-net.

Again, thanks a bunch for your interest.

#34 - Posted by: steve on August 22, 2004 12:33 AM

I can't access the site either, and I'm using Internet Explorer. Maybe I can see it with Netscape though...

#35 - Posted by: antodav on August 23, 2004 12:32 AM

Nope, Netscape can't even find the site.

#36 - Posted by: antodav on August 23, 2004 12:33 AM

hey steve i too work at ohio state computer center i know you don't i?

#37 - Posted by: entrepreneur on August 23, 2004 12:34 AM

get out, do you work for OIT at Baker?

#38 - Posted by: steve on August 23, 2004 02:42 AM

well scc haha but i'm there a lot...my e-mail is rogers.346@osu.edu
i'm done with school though so i'm leaving for cinci soon

#39 - Posted by: entrepreneur on August 26, 2004 01:38 AM

Usual working day:

Wake up,

Nokia, Colgate, Nescafe, Hochland, Orbit.

Ford, Dell, Hewlett packard, Nokia, Nokia, Nokia.

McDonalds, Coca-Cola, Orbit.

Dell, Hewlett packard, Nokia, Nokia, Nokia. Ford.

Amstel.

Amstel.

Amstel-Amstel-Amstel-Amstel.

Nokia... Nokia.

Durex. (Home, Coitus)

Colgate.

#40 - Posted by: Intimplace on November 29, 2004 09:27 AM
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