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August 26, 2004
In My World: Rumsfeld Replies to Kerry's Call to Resign
Posted by Frank J. at 06:43 AM | View blog reactions | Comments (29)

Kerry has once again called for Rumsfeld to resign. Well, Rumsfeld has decided to respond and figured IMAO was the best medium for him to do it on. So, without further ado, here is his response:

John Kerry Should Be Strangled
An Editorial by Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld

Where does that sissy from Massachusetts get the idea he can tell me what to do? Oh yeah, he served in Vietnam for about six hours. Received a booboo or two and accidentally shot himself and got decorated with rewards for it. What the hell is up with that?

When I was a kid, I once took an arrow from an Apache in the shoulder. I didn't even get a band-aid in return. But he got rewarded for being clumsy and getting little scratches? And then he has the gall - THE GALL - to tell me to resign!

RARR!

I think the only proper response is to strangle him.

Some may argue against me. They may say the Botox injections will make his neck too stiff. Also, my doctor discourages me from strangling because of my arthritis. Though these are valid concerns, the fact is that John Kerry is a nancy-boy who needs his neck squeezed until he is dead. And I will not be satisfied unless I am the one who did it.

As for the substance of his argument, I didn't listen to it. Liberal whines are at frequency I can't hear, but they seem to anger my dog. All I know is I am a man who decorates my Christmas tree with the entrails of my enemies, and, when some effete, French-looking man speaks against me, it is a cry for help. Thus I will help him and me by strangling him. I'll even allow him to fly his hairdresser in so he can leave an effeminate looking corpse.

If you want me to resign, don't make some press conference; tell it to my face... SO I CAN STRANGLE YOU! RARR!!

I AM DONALD RUMSFELD, SECRETARY OF WAR! FEAR ME!

Thank you.

Donald Rumsfeld is the Secretary of Defense and is closely involved in the search for the "Rumsfeld Strangler" serial killer.

Rating: 1.3/5 (4 votes cast)

In My World
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29 Responses To "In My World: Rumsfeld Replies to Kerry's Call to Resign"

Bravo Frank J... Absolutely priceless.

#1 - Posted by: Tremor on August 26, 2004 07:07 AM

He called for Rumsfeld's resignation because the war has been "bungled" so badly. Has the nancyboy looked at his own campaign lately? Hmmmmm, perhaps Terry McAwful should call for Kerry to resign from the race?!?!?

#2 - Posted by: FormerHostage on August 26, 2004 07:11 AM

God bless you, Frank!

Glad you're back.

#3 - Posted by: Poosh on August 26, 2004 07:32 AM

So hateful!

So mean-spirited!

So divisive!

Keep up the good work. :-)

#4 - Posted by: shepshep on August 26, 2004 07:59 AM

"All I know is I am a man who decorates my Christmas tree with the entrails of my enemies"

Hilarious!

Great to have you back Frank.

#5 - Posted by: LRFD on August 26, 2004 08:55 AM

I saw Karl Rove on TV for the first time last week. I don't know why I'd never seen him before; maybe they just don't put the guy in front of a camera that often.

But anyway, as they were introducing him I actually expected - just for a second or two - to see a hooded figure cloaked in shadows. Apparently it's become a little bit My World as well.

Yeesh.


S

#6 - Posted by: sandor at the zoo on August 26, 2004 09:49 AM

Sandor, apparently I'm not the only one who needs to get a life. I'm glad I'm not alone.

#7 - Posted by: jonag on August 26, 2004 09:57 AM

LOL! How I love Rumsfeld, much less Frank's version.

#8 - Posted by: Scott Sanburn on August 26, 2004 10:00 AM

RUMMY RULES!!! How can a traitor to his fellow soldiers (all of them) know whether a war has been bungled? I believe he has served, got medals, threw the medals, has voted against all military needs, then runs on his war record. JOHN KERRY IS AN IDIOT! RUMMY RULES!!!

#9 - Posted by: Bikermommy on August 26, 2004 10:06 AM

I AM DONALD RUMSFELD, SECRETARY OF WAR! FEAR ME!

Excellent...

#10 - Posted by: Duncan on August 26, 2004 10:29 AM

i think Bikermommy is hooked on Frank. just li--

nevermind.

#11 - Posted by: sarahk on August 26, 2004 10:59 AM

Liberal whines are at frequency I can't hear, but they seem to anger my dog.


Chomps has gaydar!!!
Who'da thunk it?

#12 - Posted by: on August 26, 2004 11:06 AM

I for one question the timing of this so called "Call for Strangulation." I think that it is noting more than a Bush ploy to help his chances of getting re-elected.
And you'd think Kerry would be tired of beating this ded horse. When the by-line mentions Abu Ghraib, isn't it like saying "Holy Crap, the Japanese have attaked Pearl Harbour?" Cripes man, find some new amterial. If Leno can do it, you can too.

Frank, Good to have you back, place just wasn't the same without you.

#13 - Posted by: tommy on August 26, 2004 11:27 AM

Brilliant... Welcome back Frank.

#14 - Posted by: Kyle on August 26, 2004 11:41 AM

C-SPAN has the Kerry senate tapes on tonight.
Check listings for local times
RAAAR

#15 - Posted by: Rob on August 26, 2004 12:59 PM

FormerHostage has a point.

#16 - Posted by: A Recovering Liberal on August 26, 2004 01:12 PM

heh heh, entrails decorated Christmas tree...
Welcome home.

#17 - Posted by: Laura on August 26, 2004 02:17 PM

curious, as the Secretary of War and the unquestioned Distributor of Domination throughout the entire world, does not Rummy get his own townhall.com-esque editorial pic?

here's one...
http://www.dlvd.net/images/rum_ed.gif
and while not exactly an editorial pic... this one is still pleasant:
http://www.dlvd.net/images/rummy_lightning2.png

#18 - Posted by: steve on August 26, 2004 02:22 PM

steve,
Thanks. Added.

#19 - Posted by: Frank J. on August 26, 2004 02:29 PM

awesomeness.

#20 - Posted by: steve on August 26, 2004 03:11 PM

Go, Big Don - Rumsfeld's da Man!!

Nice pic - love that cold, steely-eyed glint - makes eyeglasses look tough!!

#21 - Posted by: JB on August 26, 2004 03:25 PM

Love the new format. More guest editiorials! More press releases!

And see if you can get SarahK a job as Rumsfeld's beautiful assistant who gives him hand massages so he can stay in tip-top strangling shape!

Rumsfeld deserves a beautiful assistant.

Yours,
Wince

#22 - Posted by: Wince and Nod on August 26, 2004 03:28 PM

from one Frank to another, welcome back and thanks for the pic of Sarah!

#23 - Posted by: freewheelin franklin d on August 26, 2004 04:44 PM

"I think the only proper response is to strangle him."

That statement fits so many people, not just Kerry. Truly Rummy is a man for all seasons.

#24 - Posted by: Jenno on August 26, 2004 05:35 PM

Well I think Kerry should resign. He should resign from the presidential race....and from the senate...and from the human race, of which he has failed to prove he is an actual member.

#25 - Posted by: Jen on August 26, 2004 11:17 PM

freewheelin franklin d

did you get your name from The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers?

get him he's a hippie spy!!!

#26 - Posted by: Joshua on August 27, 2004 01:37 AM

Oh, for those of you not raised in a stinky hippie comune...

these are The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers....

#27 - Posted by: Joshua on August 27, 2004 01:41 AM

It is just so amazing how fast "RARR!" has been added to my daily vocabulary. But I do work with Hippies... (Okay, no longer amazed, just disgusted at the strange twist of fate that my work place.)

Great IMW Frank! Glad you're back!

#28 - Posted by: LokiDoki on August 27, 2004 11:52 PM

Oh yeah, hey Steve!

Great Rummy Lightning hands pic! Made me think of "Big Trouble in Little China" Another classic, love that movie.

#29 - Posted by: LokiDoki on August 28, 2004 12:09 AM
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