Could I possibly be First?

Holy cow! I was.

Anyhoo, as an old married man (or "fool" to some) I must warn you about the food wasting scheme.

When Mrs. Exile and I were dating, many, many, moons ago, she would pull the same nonsense. She'd eat two fries and a bite of burger, lean back, pat her stomach and let out a satisfied sigh.

A mere decade later, I have seen Mrs. Exile eat amounts of food that would choke a bear. BEWARE. Time and changing metabolisms are harsh mistresses.

This is why Frank is cool. We have the same philosophy when it comes to Buffets. 3 plate minimum!

Ah, Exile got to my married man advise first. He's got it right Frank 'm boy! BTW why did you eat in a restaurant named after a mausoleum? No wonder the parking lot was empty. Don't they have any Apache or Navajo Indian restaurants in NM?

"You know, if were in the same tent, we could share body heat to keep warm. It would work even better if we took off our clothes and..."

SHAME, SHAME! We all knew this was your motivation for the trip, but now you've gone and admitted it!

Frank,

I hope you don't fall off your "A" game like Tiger Woods. Dude was kickin' ass and takin' names until he got all wrapped up in a cute blond. Now the guy can't even "putt". Keep this in mind. Remember Mickey from Rocky..."Women weaken legs."

Note: One of the very few reasons to venture into New Mexico is to dine on some darn good Mexican food. My unsolicited advice would be to find some place called Julio's, or Chuy's, or Pinche Culero's, and skip the injun thing.

Another reason to visit New Mexico might be that you're a worthless hippy stoner. Then you might want to go to NM to take advantage of an exceptionally generous welfare system. So generous in fact, that $10 per hour jobs in Albuquerque go unfilled. I realise that this doesn't apply to IMAO readers but thought I'd throw it out there for consideration.

As an old married fart (which makes Mrs. Azlib an old married fart-ress), I have to be careful about laughing out loud when within ear-shot of the better half. She half thinks I'm here chatting with single-moms in Iowa or someplace, so verbal yuks on reading the latest IMAO entry will get me banned.

Seriously, it's nice to live vicariously through your blooming friendship/blog-romance. Best wishes to both of you.

In Albuquerque and eats at an (east) Indian restaurant. Tool.

First Albuquerque resident!

Frank, the only place to get Indian food here is the India Kitchen on Montgomery (east of REI). Their Vendeloo is sublime.

Thanks for visiting the "Land of Enchantment."

To answer your question, New Mexico has 50% less carbs.

No, that's Diet Mexico, fool. And besides, look at Mexicans - do you really need *less* sustinence?

And Frank, you really need to keep at least room for breath between "Share a tent", "Share a sleeping bag", and "Use our clothing as...blankets...yeah, that's it!" - it tends to work better if it doesn't sound like a pre-written script("Yeah, it's 35 degrees out, so? We still need to huddle together for warmth!"). But good luck with that ;)

LOL Frank, I knew you would, I just knew it...congratulations on making physical contact with at real woman, at least...even if it came in the form of pain...

Keryy has ties to the Mafia, and now Communist CHina! Help Expose this leninist boob if the marxist media won't. I have a letter writing campaign at :
http://donkerry.blogspot.com

Look at those kissable lips in the "Me in Shotgun" photo. Yowza!

Are you sure that was a real moth?? It looks like that moth-thing in Lord of The Rings that Gandalf talked to.

You, sir, are a cad and a bounder.

I like that in a man...

yowza, indeed, recovering liberal. you should see them in person.

Tool is correct. Frank, you'd probably go to New Orleans and eat at a Golden Corral. Like I said yesterday: peasant.

I heart the new IMAO series: going on a team-building trip with employees of the IMAO corporation. Y'all should take more vacations & go on more team building trips.
Excellent buffet rules. I liked the good old days when the sign said "all you can eat" not the new-fangled "all you care to eat". Makes me mad to see people leave the restaurant when they can still walk without moaning.

on a completly unrelated note-kerry's admiral speaks out about vietnam and kerry-http://www.suntimes.com/output/novak/cst-nws-novak27.html

this guy seems to have served in vietnam also.

Frank, this is your main man Tim. I understand that you just got shot down by that fine young fox named SaraK. What you need to do is introduce some liquor into this equasion to act as a moral lubricant. I know you better then this, Frankie, but I also understand women have that kind of confusing affect on men as to cloud their plotting skills. If you need any more advice or reassurance, feel free to ask me.

Frank, I gotta say as a long-time reader who lives in Albuquerque, I'm pretty offended that you would fly all the way out here and then choose to dine on third-rate Indian food. What on earth were you thinking?

Next time, why don't you give a heads-up to the locals? I could name six dozen better places to eat than that, and give you proper directions as well.

Foo'.

Ha, that is the highway with Twin Guns on it, the meteroite crash site, and the cool 75 MPH speed limit. Ah, yes, I did enjoy driving the smaller than the Tahoe Terror, yet infinitely more comfortable than a economy car, Chevy Trailblazer EXT in the rugged desert terrain, where an acre of land was 199.99 or something. Around here, it is like, 20,000.00 an acre. Sheesh!

Don't get me started on tents - blech!

And BTW, a local could have told you that day/night temperature swings of 40 degrees and up aren't unusual at altitude in the desert. So not only did you offend me, you endangered yourself.

Foo'.

Awww...I always love to hear the thoughts of a single man.

Not really. Tim...shut up!

I'm drawing a blank. I know all the funny observations about this so-called "team building exercise" can't have been made yet, but I'll be darned if I can think of one.

Guess I'll go off topic and confess that every time I see or hear the words "little sizzle" I can't help but think it sounds like something you'd find on the kids meal section of a steakhouse.

Hm. Nope. That's not funny either, just kinda weird. :P

Frank, I think what we need now is a recording of you or SarahK singing. (Preferably SarahK, no offense.)

None taken.

Hey, I think I recognized those cliffs. Those are the Vermillion Cliffs, and theres a small nest of California Condors that were transplanted up there a few years ago.

I hope you didn't stop to eat at Jacob's Lake. I got one mother of a stomach flu from that place while up on the Kaibab plateau for a deer hunt. That plateau is why the North Rim as a couple thousand feet higher (and quite a few degrees colder) than the South. There's also a ranch between Marble Canyon and Kaibab where you can hunt buffalo (assuming you get drawn in the lottery).

I think that was the trip when, while stopped at the little bar/restaurant at Marble Canyon, there was this octagenarian Native wearing a "Boyz in the Rez" hat. One of the funniest damn things I've ever seen.

Frank, you know who you look like in that picture? Mike Nesmith. (And no, this isn't just because I love the Monkees...he really does. Especially in the cowboy hat.)

Judging from the complete differences in your and SarahK's stories. I'd say you two were made for each other.

I'd also like to point out that the 'moth' in question isn't a moth at all.

It's an Un-SMITEd Flying Space Monkey larva!

A: That's exactly how I remember New Mexico

B: Dairy Queens are also known as "Texas Stopsigns"

C: I could have told you it was cold. It was even cold in July, and it rained EVERY day at 2. Damn New Mexico

That was great Frank!
Now I will go read the big fibber's version.

"Alan S." is right. Had I known you were coming, I'd have arrange for you to have as good a time in Albuquerque as did Tim Blair a few days ago. Link:
http://timblair.spleenville.com/archives/007321.php

And yes, an 80 degree day at 7000 feet is a 40 degree LONG night.

Yup. Subtract 40 degrees from the high and you have the low. 110 degrees at 2 pm, 70 degrees by morning. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I love this state!

Can't wait to hear the rest of your adventu...I mean "team building trip".

Nice pictures,

Man, I miss Azee-rona.. Being able to see for MILES in any direction. Out here in NC we have all these darn Trees in the way.

BTW, I am not supprised it was cold, I lived in Flagstaff for a couple of years. Last year that I lived there it snowed an inch the first day of JUNE! (I don't like the cold! brrr!) Had to move.

"So, this 'New' Mexico - what exact improvements does it have over the previous Mexico?"

Didn't you know the previous Mexico is infested with furriners?

shell,
And that's different from New Mexico how?

LokiDoki

It's funny how people are different. I love North Carolina and the rest of the Appalation states BECAUSE of the trees, and the rolling hills.

I enjoy visiting all the states I've been in... the differences in this country are stunning, and most places have their own beauty, but no other place is really "home" for me.

I love Oregon but hate it's politics. We need to export the LibDemSocialistHippies.

I know what you mean, krakatoa - I was tragically RIPPED from my intended birthplace (New Orleans), only to be born in HELL...er...Los Angeles, then adopted and raised in HELL...um...I mean Salt Lake City, Utah.

Thirty years later, I made it back Home to the South, where I belong. Having grown up in the Mountain Desert clime's with the 40+ degree daily temp swings, valley "temperature inversions" and too much SNOW in the winter and too much HOT in the summer, when I saw Alabama for the first time I had no idea there were so many shades of GREEN in nature! The humidity has never bothered me. The bugs? Well, that's another story... ;) It took me less than a year to pack up my life and move to where it feels I have lived my entire life.

I keep telling myself the rest was just a bad Freddy Krueger-esque nightmare. (i.e., I have the "scars" to prove it.)

Joshua, put me down for that and add "With exception of relocating Oregon Shakespeare Festival, nuke all of Ashland to the ground, then nuke the pieces, then turn the whole thing over to the CIA as a weapons testing ground (I hope they still do that, anyhow)-AFTER its ALREADY been nuked:D. I dunno if you have ever visited Ashland, but..wow. Just...wow, ya know? woooow. Nuff said.

a moth?

must be the New Mexico state bird.

Awwww....bloggers in lurve!