FIRST! I'd like to hear them talk about why Kerry shouldn't be elected on the basis that somebody might mistake him for a bassat hound or the murderer from the Scream movies.

I would like to hear them address the issue of allowing people with CCWs from one state, to be able to carry into another state.

Just like a driver's license.

I want beer, and the ability to buy beer at 17.

I'd like to hear them say that they are sick of dealing with whiny liberals and having to make concessions to keep the anti-America types somewhat stable, and starting now the Republicans will do what is best for the USA, no matter how many protests there are.

I'd like to hear them say that the Democratic party has become the Socialist party, and they should thus be declared traitors, dragged out behind MSG, and shot.

I'd like to hear them say that for every American civilian or soldier killed by terrorism, we will kill 10 terrorists in return. If the terrorists bomb one of our buildings and kill 20 people, we drop a MOAB on their city. They blow up one of our airplanes, we destroy one of their airports. Make it clear that it is in their best interests to NOT F**K with the United States.

And then hand out Reese's™ peanut butter cups.

FOX NEWS ALERT: The president will address the nation tonight, the first night of the convention, to announce the accidental launch of a nuclear-tipped cruise missle and the subsequent total destruction of Tehran. The president has promised the people of Iran that the United States will pay all reconstruction costs.

I agree, I want to hear about Space Lasers. I also want to hear about a plan to reduce the deficit and shrink the size of government beaucracies. I also want to hear about our exit strategy for germany. It's about time we left. Their economy is feeding off of our prescence and they don't even lift a finger to help us. And, I want to hear about plan to get remove liberal activist judges. But, I mostly just want to hear about the space lasers. I think SDI will turn out to be an election hot topic.

um, that's remove liberal activist judges. not "get remove". or maybe I meant to say I want to get them removed

I would like to hear them discuss how Janeane Garofalo smells dirty.

i think we should take all the librals on a little tour of the middle east just so they can see exactly how bad it is. oo and simultaneously open the world's largest glass parking lot.

I would like to know when they will announce locking John Kerry in a room with all the POWs. Let him talk his pompous way out of that room. Maybe his pompadour will help get him out of it. (Did the word pompous come from pompadour, and thus his hair makes him sound the way he does??? Either way, it came from a French word, so he deserves any butt-kicking he may get.)

I want them to talk about shipping all the RDDB's and anti-Americans to France, or Amsterdam for the hippies!

Old Cat Man should top that list.
That guy is a blight on America.

I want to see them rip Kerry to shreds. Discuss every issue he's ever flip flopped on (that may take days). And I want them to make Kerry go to every home of a Vietnam veteran who actually EARNED his purple hearts. People who have actually like, lost a limb in that war. People who didn't get their medals by shooting themselves in the foot.

And I want to hear them talk about how we're shipping all the liberal socialists to Anatarctica on election day. And maybe forever.

I want W to announce a new social program intiative where anyone who doesn't like this country or convicted there-of gets a one way plane ticket to the hell outta here and their citizenship revolked for a decade.

Instead of talking about how much more money he is going to dump into whatever useless program I want to hear what is going to be cut.

I want to hear taxes, unions, and whining are outlawed.

I want to hear that not only do we not give a rat's ass about whether the UN cares if we defend ourselves but that we are now ex members of the group.

I want to hear that hostilities in Germany are now over and the post WW2 troops will be coming home to gaurd our boarders like the Constitution says they should!

Basicly, I want to hear Republicans talk like Republicans and not foot-dragging Democrats.

I want them to eradicate the planet of things like this...

Be afraid be very afraid!!

That was found here

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?g=photos_highlight_fp&a=&tmpl=sl&ns=0&l=1&e=2&a=0&t=&prev=1

I think they should announce Ann Coulter as Homeland Sarcasm Czar.

Also, I've not heard anyone talking about vietnam.

5{lted you with that fugliness.

Now I will make up for it with cuteness.

They need to talk about protecting cuties like this.

I face like that would make even the hardest hearts melt.

what the heck?

That is supposed to read, "Since I assaulted you..."

A lot of good ideas. I think I have to agree with DixieDarlin's the most.

Seriously, I hope we hear about how we are going to now help Taiwan, Tibet, Iran, and North Korea to become free nations.

Hopefully however, we will hear about plans to NUKE THE MOON!!!

(Shame on you all for not beating me to the punch.)

I want to see a serious debate about who the official RNC t-shirt babe should be.

I want them to build a wall around Manhattan and turn it into a prison.

I would like them to unvail the capture of one Osama Bin Laden, and anounce that the Presidential election is officially over but if waffale boy wishes to continue with the election, they will do so only on one condition that we are allow to test are new Laser Missiles on two of his wife's mansions, preferably one they are currenlty occupying.

Hrm. I want it to be like Steve Jobs at an Apple keynote speech.

"By the way, we decided to eliminate the IRS."

Sub-lethal weapons systems.
After they try some out on the protesters, of course.

I want to see, some disscussion on how best to strangle Hippies!!!

Then I want Ice Cream.

1. Close the border with Mexico. Cross it without permission, and risk being shot (that space laser thingy might fit right into this). Get across without being shot, get caught, and be sent immediately back...after telling us exactly how you did it, so we can shoot you the next time.

2. No citizen, no bennies. Need medical care, but not a citizen...bummer, get on the bus to the border. They have clinics in your country, try there. Need to drive? Too bad. Vote? NOT A FREAKIN' CHANCE.

3. Change the justice system to REQUIRE rehabilitation of first-offence drug users. Along the way, make dealing ANY amount a life sentence, or a capital crime. Make being a dealer HURT. Loosen the rules about cops shooting dealers during raids, too...reduce the costs of incarceration and trials.

4. SERIOUS tort reform. Like in "dude, that was really stupid and you can't blame someone else, get out of my courtroom". If a plaintiff loses, he has to pay the amount he sued for...put his attorney in prison until he pays up.

5. Make it a crime to infringe on a law-abiding citizen exercising his right to carry/conceal/use the legally owned rifle or pistol of his/her choice. Place sunset requirements on all laws restricting anything to do with guns, and require that the law be PROVEN effective, and that is hasn't been mis-applied, before it can be renewed. (That alone should take care of the unemployed lawyers from the tort reform thing. Let them argue about something useful, for as long as they want to...the renewal vote will never happen!)

Ahhh...that's enough for now. I got more, and when I am King they will all come to light!

C

I want hear about how they plan on killing all the jawas and hippies. *warm fuzzies* A girl can dream, can't she?

Jawas, as in those pesky, camel riding, sand people!

Yay Chuck!!!!

Chuck for president 2008

I'd like to hear about making a ban on internet taxes. Don't want those filthy democrats getting thier hands onMY email! No siree!

I want to W to walk up to the podium and say "I'm George W Bush and I am not reporting for duty. I have been on duty for the last 4 years and I intend to be on duty for the next four.

I am watching the coverage on FOX News!

Seriously, I'd like to hear them talk about implementing legislation that basically reinforces the second amendment, so that it's very "bullet proof" (sorry, no pun intended..) and make it to where the gun grabbers lose all hope of ever taking our weapons away, and finally move on to something more important.

Bear Hunter for VP of Chuck!

Chuck and Bear Hunter 2008!

Well said, Chuck!

Defintely Space Lasers. Space Lasers with "Monkey Homing and Targeting" options. Either that or monkeys manning Space Lasers under the mind control of the Puppy Blender.

Watching Frank just lose it under those conditions would even get "Ebert and the Other Guy" a couple of thumbs up...

I'd like to see some sort of heated debate on what size wood chippers would be preferred to put captured terrorist through.

Topics That Should Really Be Discussed:

1) the moon and it's subsequent nuking
2) Kerry in his spacesuit
3) a large enough space aircraft in which to fit Kerry's ego and his hair
4) the distance of Kerry's ship to the moon before subsequent nuking
5)Kerry's courage by volunteering silently to become the first official asshat on the moon

I would like an explanation of this picture.

Spetiam,
Personally I have no clue, but it would make a great caption contest.

"I would like an explanation of this picture."

The President is seen here running from his own fart...

I have to agree with Chuck, that is a good start. : )

I also like the social program if people hate this country, here is a ticket out of it - I call it the ABC candidates - Austrailian Bound Candidates. Now that Austrailia has helped us in the War on Terror, maybe I should change it to the Austrian Bound Candidates.

My hope is this:

1) Elimination of the Income tax - go to flat tax or consumption tax - get that first 30,000 or whatever to stop the class-warfare whiners talking about taxing the poor (Which is what they do when they raise tabacco taxes - ahem)

2) Establish Medical Savings Accounts - get rid of HMOs, PPOs, PETA's, etc. - You get a certain amount of money a year - use it for health care costs, prescriptions, doctor visits - mundane everyday costs - extraordinary costs are covered, like your arm falling off or whatever (Chomps ripping you to pieces). At the end of the year - you keep the remainder - do with it what you want - invest it, 401K, whatever.

This is an incentive based, capitalistic approach to health care - no more third party socialism.

I have it here at work - it is great - thanks to CIGNA and President Bush, and the evil one, Newt Gingrich, who I first heard talking about this.

3) Social Security - what a joke and a half this program is - let people who want to start divesting a percentage of money they send to that darn FICA tax - and put it into ROTH IRA's or 401K's or even Bonds - It is far past the time to get the government out of my wallet for once! Let me invest the money, it is mine!!!!

4) Lay out the Middle-East Occupation /Priority Unification Plan - MOP UP - Say if Syria, Egypt, Palistine, and Iran do not turn over WMD's, terrorists, Al Quieda, etc. They will become colonies of the United States, and will be cleaned up for them. Africa perhaps too. Cuba is begging for it.

5) Get us out of the UN - pay off whatever we owe them - sign out of it - take that horrid building, pack it up, and ship it to Brussels. Build a new building for a new organization. Syria, China, Cuba, Iran, Egypt, etc will NOT be invited. Make a new organization made up of countries that advocate personal rights, freedom, and democracy. Call it The Freedom Institute (Can't think of a cute anagram or whatever it is called)

6) I think we need a new branch of the military - call it the Border Corps - make it their primary duty to watch the Mexican and Canadian Borders - and police it effectively. We need to secure our Borders. I think someone said that already as well.

Well, there's some anyhow.

Scott for secratary of state.
For the Chuck and Bear Hunter 2008
ticket.