 |
|
|
|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!  Buy funniest book ever!  IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
 Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits  Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck  This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
August 31, 2004
In My World: Terrorizing the Terrorists
"Everybody have fun tonight!" Bush yelled as he danced at the convention, "Everybody Wang-Chung tonight!" Rumsfeld dropped a dead terrorist at Bush's feet. "Found this." "Was he a suicide bomber?" "All I know is he committed suicide when he came near me!" Rumsfeld growled. "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you," Bush said, "Al Qaeda has decided to target you!" "What!" Rumsfeld yelled. "Rarr!" He then ran out of the convention hall. "What's up with him?" Scott McClellan asked as he walked towards Bush. "I dunno and I don't care; it's time to party!" "Well, we still have to deal with the ad controversy," Scott said, "There are the Swift Vet ads and then the ads saying you were AWOL..." "I wasn't AWOL!" Bush shot back, "I flew jets and they went 'Zoooom!'" "Yeah, but there is a five month period in 1972 where there are no pay records and..." "I didn't get paid!" Bush shouted, "I won't tolerate that! Let's go to that base in Alabama and get my pay!" Bush ran off and Scott quickly followed. "But what about the convention?" * * * * "This just in: Al Jazeera is showing a grainy video of a man going by the pseudonym 'Donald Rumsfeld.' He says he will kill all terrorists until his demands are met - that all terrorists die. More on this as it evolves." * * * * "Hello, Lt. Bush, haven't seen you in a while." "You owe me money, Major Dunbar!" Bush yelled, "and I want it now!" "Let me check the records." Dunbar opened a file cabinet. "I don't have records for a certain period..." "I was here and I want my money!" * * * * "We go now to CNN reporter Lefty Stevens for live coverage from the Middle East." "Terror has come to the terrorists," Stevens pronounced, "and it isn't pretty. Everywhere they lie strangled, RPG's unfired, bombs unexploded. We talk now with terrorist Mohammed something or other." "It's horrible," Mohammed said, "All I want is to kill Americans and jooos, but now I'm scared to leave my home!" "Without terrorism, the Middle East has lost its second biggest export," Stevens stated, "France is condemning this terrorism against terror and blaming it on Bush... as do I and all of CNN." * * * * "Bush is Hitler!" "You get away from me!" Laura yelled, swatting at the protesters with her purse. "Back off now or I'll bust a cap up your ass!" Jenna Bush yelled as she pulled out a chrome .45. "You put that away and be a lady!" Laura said as she tapped Jenna on the head. "And Barbara, you put away that knife." Barbara rolled her eyes. "Yes, mother." Laura's cell phone then rang. "Hello?" "Laura! I'm in prison again!" Bush yelled. "What now?" "They charged me with hitting an officer." "How did that happen?" "Well, I... uh... hit an officer... but he owed me money!" "What did I tell you about hitting?" "I know. So, can you come bail me out? Scott got thrown in with me on the charge of being doughy." "It certainly would be quite a spectacle for you to give your convention speech from a prison," Laura chided, "You think about what you did while I come get you." Laura put away her phone and looked to her daughters. "I have to bail out your father again. Now you two behave." "Yes, mother." Laura then spotted something. "Donald! What did I tell you about dragging dead terrorists into the convention hall?" 28 Responses To "In My World: Terrorizing the Terrorists"
hah! first in my world!!! HAHAHAHA "Without terrorism, the Middle East has lost it's second biggest export," Stevens stated, "France is condemning this terrorism against terror and blaming it on Bush... as do I and all of CNN." This would be funnier if it wasn't true, nailed the muckadoos on this one. dragging dead terrorists into the convention hall-great mental picture! Being doughy is a crime?! Off to the gym! #3 - Posted by: Exile on August 31, 2004 07:42 AMWow Jenna talks like a gangsta'! What school did they send her to.... That might explain the Kerry girls getting booed on MTV, perhaps "the brothers" are down with the Bush crew. After all the Republican party is the one wit' da "bling bling" Know wha m sayin? #4 - Posted by: The Meatriarchy on August 31, 2004 07:47 AMBwa ha ha ha! Great stuff, Frank! What a way to start off my morning! #5 - Posted by: Katie on August 31, 2004 08:19 AMOoooo...the image of Jenna with a chrome .45 is pretty. Melikes. But could she be better than Sarahk? After seeing the "American Hottie" picture, I don't think so!! But it would be a close shoot-out, no pun intended. #6 - Posted by: Red Mist on August 31, 2004 08:58 AMI heard the Bush Twins had a video tape of them played at the MTV thing and they also got booed, so I heard from the BBC. Just saying. #7 - Posted by: Poosh on August 31, 2004 09:00 AMBBC= Babbling Brook Commies Very good, sir. You are my wheaties. #8 - Posted by: Joshua on August 31, 2004 09:28 AMYou forgot the part about John Kerry crashing the party just in time to say "I'm here. I served in Vietnam. Just because Bush can fly a plane doesn't make him better than me. I can shoot teenagers in the back and hook up with Jane Fonda and still be elected to the Senate and get to run for President! I love stupid people!" Unfortunately for doodie boy, Rumsfeld did not love stupid people and popped condom man in the head. #9 - Posted by: Bikermommy on August 31, 2004 09:39 AMi think i've created a Bikermonster! (hiya, Bikermommy, i heart you!) #10 - Posted by: sarahk on August 31, 2004 10:08 AM"Yeah, but there is a five month period in 1972 where there are no pay records and..."
Spoken like a true Conservative! Hey, don't forget, Kerry can fly jets too, as he'll be delighted to tell you! I can't remember where I saw it, but one of Kerry's tall tales is about being taken for a ride by an Israeli fighter pilot, and given a chance to take the controls. All that's no doubt true, but then he adds a typically self-aggrandizing bit about the fighter pilot praising Kerry's mad skillz as one of the best he's ever seen, or something equally implausible. #12 - Posted by: David C on August 31, 2004 11:13 AMHmmm, Jenna's the blond one - with a chrome .45 ... are we fantasizing about the blonde/armed sarahk? #13 - Posted by: sleeper on August 31, 2004 11:25 AM"Terror has come to the terrorists," Hey, as anyone heard more about the vigilante gangs in Iraq that were taking down some of the Mahdi and Bathists a awhile back? I had some hope for them. #14 - Posted by: Matt on August 31, 2004 11:39 AMMatt, our...sorry. typo -Joshua #16 - Posted by: on August 31, 2004 12:01 PMIf you want to take terror to the terrorists, just incircle a city or two. Then let people leave one at a time (unarmed and with proer identification). Follow up by bombing the city to firey dust. Too bad being doughy is not considered a crime in NYC.:( Otherwise they would have had grounds to haul Michael Moore out of the Republican National Convention and into a waiting jail cell. #18 - Posted by: Bloodthirsty Warmonger on August 31, 2004 12:50 PMGreat idea LibertyBob! Let's go one step further... When we destroy the city, let's do it with C130 Gun Ships! We can make every third round a tracer, and fly them around the "Lucky" location, blasting anything and everything. Could you imagine 6-10 of these all shooting at the same time? We would video tape everthing to show what happens to those who resist, and play in in prime time on the local al-juh-zeer-duh channel. hmmmmm... it would look a lot like a tornado of distruction.... Sweeeeeeeeet!!!!! OTT #19 - Posted by: Over The Top on August 31, 2004 01:10 PMYeah, it was good but I'm still sulking that my vacation is over. #20 - Posted by: Wolf's Dawn on August 31, 2004 01:20 PM
"Was he a suicide bomber?" "All I know is he committed suicide when he came near me!" Rumsfeld growled. "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you," Bush said, "Al Qaeda has decided to target you!" "What!" Rumsfeld yelled. "Rarr!" He then ran out of the convention hall. Oh, that is so great. I love Rummy! Go Rummy! Maybe Rummy can drag ol Osama to the RNC convention after Bush's acceptance speech? Heh heh. #22 - Posted by: Scott Sanburn on August 31, 2004 04:11 PM"Well, I... uh... hit an officer... but he owed me money!" lol -- that was the best line #23 - Posted by: krakatoa on August 31, 2004 07:33 PMI've always somehow imagined Rummy doing one-handed push-ups--ala Jack Palance at the Oscars. I wish I could do one-handed push-ups. I'm too doughy. Gotta work on that. #24 - Posted by: azlibertarian on August 31, 2004 08:06 PMIf being doughy is a crime, consider me a fugitive. #25 - Posted by: djdoughboy on September 1, 2004 01:26 AMgood job...love the Bush babes...M Moore is beyond doughy, he is corpublobolent...we gonna win, I can feel it #26 - Posted by: sailor sam on September 2, 2004 09:27 AMYou are invited to check some information about... #27 - Posted by: on November 30, 2004 09:41 PMhttp://lev.nicheservers.com/cartoon1_2.html Post a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts 
 
 
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|
Stumble It!
