IMAO: Adventures in a Biker Bar with Frank J.

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September 09, 2004

Adventures in a Biker Bar with Frank J.

Posted by Frank J. at 02:20 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (24)

When I fled to Texas to escape Hurricane Frances, SarahK thought that hiding out in a biker bar would be a good idea. So I put on my best biker clothing - a white polo shirt with green stripes - and headed into the bar. It was actually full of real bikers - all mean looking and tattoo-covered and everything. Thus, we made sure to look tough to keep them at bay.

"You talking to me?"

It was then time for karaoke, so SarahK took the mike. She sings purty.

"Has no one told you she’s not breathing?"

Soon I figured I better sing to keep blending in with the bikers.

"And Rocky collapsed in the corner. Ahh!"

It didn't go so well, and I needed to comfort SarahK.

"I'm sorry. I swear I'll never sing again."

But then a mean biker decided to pick a fight with me.

"Your singing sucks... as does the readers of your blog!"

Well, I could stand insults to me, but not my readers! It was time to teach this brute a lesson.

"Prepare to get knocked down by Hurricane Francis!"

I think the fight went well, but I lose memory of exactly what happened after a certain point. I do remember waking up to SarahK's cat Minerva clawing at my face, though.

Biker bars sure are fun!

UPDATE: Here is SarahK's version.

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24 Responses To "Adventures in a Biker Bar with Frank J."

Aww you're all so cute together! And.... First!

#1 - Posted by: Jen on September 9, 2004 02:25 PM

LOL! More, please!

#2 - Posted by: A Recovering Liberal on September 9, 2004 02:32 PM

You shouldn't pick on bikers nicknamed "Big Ass". I think it is short for "Big Asskicker". I'm just sayin.

#3 - Posted by: Bikermommy on September 9, 2004 03:14 PM

Frank:
As you noticed, the big, mean-looking, tatted up bikers are actually really cool guys - just don't piss them off. They're some of my favorite critters. They'll go to the ends of the earth for their buddies. Find some effete liberal who will show up when your ass is in a crack like those boys.

#4 - Posted by: Brett on September 9, 2004 03:15 PM

Ass in a crack? That's exactly when the effete liberals show up. But you probably didn't mean the new craze started by Richard Simmons....

#5 - Posted by: Wolf's Dawn on September 9, 2004 03:29 PM

Frank, Thank you for so bravely defending our honor. That is why we are such faithful ronin (or foo's)!

#6 - Posted by: jonag on September 9, 2004 03:42 PM

Frank:
A word of advise, when I find myself out of ammo and out numbered by big ass bikers, I always put on my dancing shoes and sing "tequila"; it always calms them down. Sometimes let let me borrow one of their bikes. On the other hand you do look very menacing in you fighting stance. What form are you about to employ? Drunken ronin? Please advise.

#7 - Posted by: Connecticut Yankee on September 9, 2004 04:11 PM

Connecticut Yankee, Your method works only if you are dancing on the bar and your last name is "Harley".

#8 - Posted by: jonag on September 9, 2004 07:00 PM

Keep this stuff coming...

#9 - Posted by: J I Erde on September 9, 2004 09:44 PM

Was this Biker Bar on the famous Boulevard? (otherwise known as Route 66)

#10 - Posted by: Sticky B on September 10, 2004 12:01 AM

Frank,

You're so out of place wearing that Polo shirt. Everybody knows that real bikers wear Izod.

#11 - Posted by: rightwingduck on September 10, 2004 12:06 AM

You two make a good couple. So make some young'ns!

And even though I'm sure the biker guy in the last photo is wearing black gloves, it kind of looks like he doesn't have a left hand...just a nub.

#12 - Posted by: Turkeyhead on September 10, 2004 12:32 AM

sticky b, yup.

ducky, LOL. silly goose... er, duck.

#13 - Posted by: sarahk on September 10, 2004 01:53 AM

This looks like my high school reunion. I graduated from an Amarillo high school (Tascosa).

#14 - Posted by: cole on September 10, 2004 07:27 AM

Worst. Photoshopping. Ever.

You get those pics from CBS? :-P

#15 - Posted by: Harvey on September 10, 2004 08:02 AM

Back in '82 I saw a young Vietnameese hook standing on a street corner on the now famous Amarillo Boulevard. She was wearing a waist length fur coat, black leather mini-skirt, and Converse Chuck Taylor hitops. It was a much more severe fashion feux paw (can't spell in french)than Frank wearing Polo to an Izod bar. She didn't mention whether she knew John F'in Kerry from the old country or not.

#16 - Posted by: Sticky B on September 10, 2004 09:30 AM

Looks more like a green polo shirt with white stripes.

#17 - Posted by: Dave in Texas on September 11, 2004 12:04 AM

Gosh you & SarahK make such a cute couple!

And thanks for defending your readers honor!

#18 - Posted by: LokiDoki on September 11, 2004 01:18 AM

fsdfs

#19 - Posted by: fgfghfhfghf on October 9, 2004 10:46 PM

sdfsd

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http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2114.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2115.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2116.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2117.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2118.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2119.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2120.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2121.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2122.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2123.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2124.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2125.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2126.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2127.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2128.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2129.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2130.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2131.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2132.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2133.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2134.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2135.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2136.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2137.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2138.html
http://www.school-girls-profile.info/index2139.html

#22 - Posted by: jhlkj on November 11, 2004 04:17 PM

#23 - Posted by: jhgjhg on November 11, 2004 04:20 PM

#24 - Posted by: dfs on January 10, 2005 03:44 PM