Yah... you might like these other changes Lucas has made to the original trilogy:

here

Michael Moore 2x? Say it ain't so!
I don't even think IMAX is big enough for that, let alone my 27" TV.

Dude, those are HILARIOUS!! I haven't laughed that hard at work in ever!!

That's fabulous. I think I like your changes better than Lucas'! The blogoshpere should unite to stop him and replace him with a more responsible film maker that isn't doing crack cocaine.

They say that cat Wedge is one BAAADDD muthaf-

SHUT YO MOUTH!

Jus' talkin' 'bout Wedge Antilles!

We can dig it!

Also, there is a DVD extra where George Lucas has a special message for fans of the original trilogy. It consists of him flipping off the camera.

So it's the video of this AP interview?

AP: Do you pay much attention to fan reactions to your choices?

Lucas: Not really. The movies are what the movies are. ... The thing about science-fiction fans and "Star Wars" fans is they're very independent-thinking people. They all think outside the box, but they all have very strong ideas about what should happen, and they think it should be their way. Which is fine, except I'm making the movies, so I should have it my way.

It's like the South Park episode has come to life. Expect an all Ewok "Special Edition" of Raiders of the Lost Ark next!

"To tempt Luke to the dark side, the Emperor sings a rap song with Darth Vader using his heavy breathing to do the beat."

Thas'def sun

Beo-

I was actually thinking what Wedge's theme song could be but you beat me to it. So thanks, now I've got something else to hum in my head all frickin' day.

I love Han Solo. But Harrison Ford just freaks me out now.

* Through CGI, the Ewoks have been made even cuter!

The only way to make Ewoks cute is with a liberal application of A.1.®.

Plus, tag-team robot wrestling! It's the mighty robots from Battlestar Galactica, versus the gay robots from Star Wars!

Wait, now I'm stealing jokes from the Simpsons.

* In A New Hope, Luke is 20% whinier.

I didn't think it was possible for Luke to get any whinier.

You mean heroin addiction for Obi Wan, not heroine addiction... ^_^

Though, it could be taken as heroine... ^_^

Yeah so eventually he's just going to turn what used to be Star Wars into a bunch of animated crap isn't he? If it ain't broke, don't fix it! I wish they would release the original versions on DVD instead of the "Special" editions. I get furious just thinking of how special they are. Where's Chomps when you need him?

I'm still wondering about the Star Wars remake called "Episode I". I mean both movies were about a senior Jedi who goes to Tantooine to find a young Skywalker who appears to be The Greatest Jedi Ever.

Young Skywalker has an arch nemisi named Darth and by the end of the movie he saves the day by destroying a battle station in his fighter and helping out his Princess friend.

Oh, and yeah spits out backwards wisdon...

I think Lucas just said...hey, the thin plot worked the first time, I'll just change the actors and play it agin...

Fat fingers...

Please allow the following edits...
"arch-nemisis"

"Oh, and YODA spits out backwards WISDOM."

"Play it again."

To FrankJ, SarahK and tip of the hat to Beo:
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
a tale of a fateful trip,
that started from this small spaceport,
aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a hairy Wookie dude,
the Skipper Han brave and sure;
five passengers blasted off that day,
for a three-movie deal,
a three-movie deal.

The journey started getting rough,
the acting job was tough.
If not for the courage of the marketing crew,
the profits would be lost.
The profits would be lost.

The ship set down in the hanger of an imperial death star
with Chewbacca,
and Solo too.
A pandowin and his droid,
a cute princess,
Obe-wan and R2D2,
here on Lucas’ set.

So this is the tale of our cast and crew,
there here for a long long time.
They'll have to make the best of things,
it's an uphill climb.
The first unit and his CGI team too
will do their very best,
to make the others comfortable
and look their very best.
No agents, no booze, no buxom t-shirt babes,
not a single luxury
like a Canyon hike
it's primitive as can be.
So join us here each day my friends,
you're sure to get a smile,
from many-stranded pajamamuhagadeen
here on FrankJ's Isle!

Wow, Michael Moore playing every fat monster EXCEPT Jabba the Hut.

BRILLIANT! So subtle. Just hinting at the glaring truth that Moore is, in fact, too fat, evil and incoherent to play Jabba.

Hey, maybe in addition to T-shirts you could have IMAO Jabba Slave Girl outfits...wonder who could be the Jabba slave girl outfit model?

Everytime I read about Aquaman in KTE, I think of poor Wedge. The ignored hero with a stupid name. Love the theme song, Beo. Frank, you have out done yourself again! A brilliant masterpeice!

http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2374

C'mon, man. Comparing Wedge to Aquaman? That's just wrong.

Aquaman is more like Jar Jar Binks.
Wedge plays Robin to Luke's Batman. He's the decoy.

Except that Wedge is way cooler than Robin. Wedge is kind of like Hawk on "Spencer for Hire." (Who is strikingly similar to Shaft...) He disappears, then shows up looking all cool and mean, takes care of "bidness," and then vanishes again. So Wedge Antilles is Avery Brooks and Richard Roundtree, except he's white, and he's in a galaxy far far away.

Meanwhile Aquaman and Jar Jar are irritating, bumbling sidekick guys who live underwater and constantly endanger themselves and "the mission" and everyone hopes to see them written out of the next episode via some horrific and graphic death scene.

So I reiterate:

Aquaman = Jar Jar.

Wedge = Shaft and/or Hawk, only not black.

Can you dig it?

LMAO - spit coffee all over my monitor, and I wasn't drinking any!

Michael Moore as Jabba the Hut..."I think we're gonna' need a bigger boat."

...now Greedo fires a dozen times while standing two feet away, missing the unmoving Han Solo with each shot. When Han finally shoot Greedo, it now appears more as an act of mercy.

So the Stormtroopers are all clones of Greedo?

LMPTO - especially at the darth rap thing.

Ooo! Ooo!

Michael Moore as the Death Star!!!!

Then Luke fires a wafer thin mint into his mouth and runs like a french waiter!
(Monty Python reference)

* The Sarlacc pit monster has been replaced with Michael Moore waist deep in the sand, mouth agape.

I really, really, really think you got this one backwards.

"Michael Moore as the Death Star!!!!"

Then the two-meters wide aperture through which they destroy the first station is Moore's........
(mmmh, size*height/Chomps'anger+SarahK's cat - leftist professor Glenn Raynolds...)

Yeah, it's his conscience.

Couldn't have done a better job on that Frank... Nope, you could not have.

On the one hand, I'm not a purist and think George Lucas should be able to change the movies to how he visioned them, that's fine. On the other hand, I'm mighty pissed off that he isn't going to at least OFFER the originals that I love. I don't find the Special Editions BAD, rather, I prefer the originals and I think it's stupid that he replaced Anakin's ghost with Hayden Kristensen.

If you want to see the original trilogy on DVD in the future, go to www.originaltrilogy.com and sign the petition. I already have done so :-D

I may be weird, but I never considered Star Wars to be that great in the first place. I actually liked the Empire better, at least they didn't have whiny "but I was going to Tashy Station to pick up some power converters" brat.
Darth is cool. I did like the AT-AT's blowing up the hapless Rebellion trenches.

Chuck: "Gee, Bob, let's go out with laser rifles and hunt us some AT-AT's!"

Bob: "Good idea!"

The only original episode I saw at the theater was Return of the Jedi, and I was annoyed by the Ewoks. I did like things blowing up though.

I think the newer episodes (I & II) are in the same boat, cheesy. Jar-Jar is equally as annoying as CP30, in my book. If I owned either CP30 or R2-D2 I would either return them or reprogram
them.

The newer episodes had some really cool things in it, like the Pod races, the droid army taking out the Gungans, and the OsHA violating power room in the
bottom of Naboo castle. I also liked episdoe two, the city car chases, the Republican (oops) Republic army, and the battle scenes at the end. I just fast forward through the Anakin / Padme scenes, sheesh!

I do own the DVD's of those, so I will probably go out and get these, sometime.

OOps - got sidetracked there - I did like your other changes that you listed Frank, funny!

I think Mt. Moore should be Jabba. Dan Rather can be that annoying little creature laughing next to him.

I always thought the Imperial March should be the official theme song of the Republican Party. : )

You know, they are Lucas' movies, he can do whatever he wants - even if its really stupid (Han shooting second).

If Lucas had a lot more money or future-tech computers he prolly would have had better effects or more scenes that were just not technically possible at the time.

The scene with Han and Jabba was apparently shot with a human stand-in, but they couldn't make a mechanical slithering Jabba ($$) so it was left out. Now it's back and uses CGI. So what?

I literally cringe at seeing the original matte-animations of the ships going by in the first movie. If Lucas cleans that junk up, adds some new scenes that expand on what was already there (and was not possible to create) then what's the big deal? These are not OUR movies.

Changing scenes around to make them "nicer" is, I agree 100%, stupid liberal pap. Spielberg did this in E.T. by changing the guns in the hands of some cops at a roadblock into walkie-talkies. WTF? THAT is stupid!

I concur with Neo, for the most part. Except for Greedo shooting first (which is a traveshamockery), I generally really like the new additions. More Boba Fett in Ep. IV!!

I think Snoop Dogg's line would be more like, "Yo, that was some supa-mizzle explodizzle. Heh heh heh, knowhatimsayin."

* The legendary deleted unicorn dream sequence was added back in... before they realized they were thinking of the wrong movie.

Someone please explain that one. Can't think of any Unicorn movies other than Legend...

Xeddicus,
Didn't know how many people would get that. It's a reference to Blade Runner.

Wolf's Dawn: I wouldn't say wedge is ignored per se. There's a tradition over in Squaresoft USA to try to find an excuse to put a character named "Wedge" (and usually another one named Vicks for some reason, but that's not as sure as Wedge) in every single video game translation they do.

I'm not sure if it's still going, though. I stopped buying Squaresoft games since Final Fantasy 8, which was total ass. I even bought an X-box just to spite the Japanese game industry I so pissed off over that one. (Yes, even 4 years later)

From Return of the Jedi:

MON MOTHMA: The data brought to us by the Bothan spies pinpoints the exact location of the Emperor's new battle station. We also know that the weapon systems of this Death Star are not yet operational. With the Imperial Fleet spread throughout the galaxy in a vain effort to engage us, it is relatively unprotected. But most important of all, we've learned that the Emperor himself is personally overseeing the final stages of the construction of this Death Star. Many Bothans died to bring us this information.

(BEGIN FLASHBACK)
(BOTHAN #1 rushes into MON MOTHMA's chambers. He is out of breath and bleeding.)
BOTHAN #1: The... Empire... is building... a new... Death Star... at... aaaaurgh... (dies)
(BOTHAN #2 rushes into MON MOTHMA's chambers. He is out of breath and bleeding.)
BOTHAN #2: the Forest Moon... of Endor... it is... relatively...auuuurgrgh... (dies)
(BOTHAN #3 rushes into MON MOTHMA's chambers. He is out of breath and bleeding.)
BOTHAN #3: Unprotected... the Imperial Fleet... is spread out...in a vain...aaurgrgh...(dies)

Etc., etc.

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