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October 18, 2004
141 Responses To "AHH! The Touch of the Innocent! It Burns!"
Flip flop? he said the magic word. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. #1 - Posted by: rightwingduck on October 18, 2004 05:56 PMTODAY ON THE JOHN KERRY SHOW - WHY CAN'T KIDS VOTE? #2 - Posted by: rightwingduck on October 18, 2004 05:57 PMWhen he stand next to Kerry, John Edwards looks so young!! #3 - Posted by: rightwingduck on October 18, 2004 05:58 PMVote for me, or I'll jab this microphone into this kid's eye! #4 - Posted by: Gullyborg on October 18, 2004 05:59 PMFirst I'm going to help Ronnie. Then I'm going to help Sallie, then I'm going to help little Billy then - yeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh. #5 - Posted by: rightwingduck on October 18, 2004 06:02 PMAaaaaaaaaahhhh! The little devil smashed me ballsack--I mean, kids are just so funny and stuff! #6 - Posted by: Seth on October 18, 2004 06:09 PM"He claims he benefitted from the No Child Left Behind Act!" -Kerry #7 - Posted by: Veda on October 18, 2004 06:11 PMSecurity guards were forced to rush onstage to hold back mr john kerry who was trying to consume a young boy's head. #8 - Posted by: Rikor on October 18, 2004 06:12 PM(bummer on the apostrophe, oughtta be "promises") "YOUR SOUL IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!" #11 - Posted by: King Steve on October 18, 2004 06:18 PMThe boy smiled nervously (as his mother had warned him to do), hoping the big, scary man would leave him alone. #12 - Posted by: Monque on October 18, 2004 06:23 PMEven John Kerry, after sarcastically laying his hand on a small crippled boy's forehead and yelling, "Be healed!" seemed shocked to discover the healing powers his running mate claimed would make the lame walk actually existed. When pressed on proving the boy was not a "plant" Terry McAuliffe, said, "This is real. John Kerry had a long prayer session with Benny Hin two nights ago. If you're going to question the authenticity of John Kerry's healing powers, then you're questioning those of Benny Hin. We will not stand for you questioning this War Hero's patriotism!" #13 - Posted by: Editor on October 18, 2004 06:25 PM"Look Teresa, I've found you a new yard boy." #14 - Posted by: aelfheld on October 18, 2004 06:39 PMI got nothin'. But Ducky, you're killing me! #15 - Posted by: jonag on October 18, 2004 06:39 PM" Yea I can fit his head in my mouth, but I'm no Mary!!" "And by Mary I mean a gaaaaaay." #17 - Posted by: Cowtipper on October 18, 2004 06:46 PMThe NAMBLA endorsement's as good as mine! #18 - Posted by: on October 18, 2004 06:48 PMErm, that was I me above. Sorry, forgot to post name:) #19 - Posted by: LokiVonBismarck on October 18, 2004 06:48 PMLOL! #20 - Posted by: Laura on October 18, 2004 06:49 PMLol not having a good spelling day, was trying to remember if it was "that was I" or "that was me" above, ended up typing both. Okay, wow, 5 hours of sleep sucks, yessiree. #21 - Posted by: LokiVonBismarck on October 18, 2004 06:50 PMKerry proudly announces the endorsement of the Michael Jackson fan club I like yours LokiVonB. #23 - Posted by: Laura on October 18, 2004 06:50 PMWelcome to Mr. Kerry's Neighborhood. Today's letter is the Letter E. Let's say that in French... #24 - Posted by: rightwingduck on October 18, 2004 06:52 PMKerry, having "Nam" flahsbacks, mistakenly uses his Eagle Claw Heart Grab on an un suspecting child #25 - Posted by: Sumpy on October 18, 2004 06:52 PMI would like to take this moment to offically apologize to Mary Cheney. I'm sorry little Mary. #26 - Posted by: rightwingduck on October 18, 2004 06:52 PM"Little Florida native Emilio Escabar displays the peculiar power of his extra long left arm as he crushes Senator John Kerry's balls in his little hand." #27 - Posted by: stonewall on October 18, 2004 06:53 PMhey, You're not a hand puppet. You're a real boy. #28 - Posted by: rightwingduck on October 18, 2004 06:54 PMSee little peasant boy my teeth don't have any gaps in them. #29 - Posted by: David Kohlhoff on October 18, 2004 06:56 PMNext on our Telethon - We'll both dance to "tequila". Which is covered in my health plan. #30 - Posted by: rightwingduck on October 18, 2004 06:57 PMJohn Edwards had to assume the race for President as John Kerry was sucked into a temporal vortex upon meeting himself as a child. #31 - Posted by: David Kohlhoff on October 18, 2004 06:58 PMIn what some might say shows a sign of bad internal polls, John Kerry spends invaluable campaign time in an area that should have already been a lock for the Democratic Presidential Candidate but has been proven to be anything but - Hobbiton. #32 - Posted by: Editor on October 18, 2004 07:00 PMIs that what it always looks like before the alien pops out of his human host? #33 - Posted by: David Kohlhoff on October 18, 2004 07:00 PMHe thinks under my plan he'll have Social Security when he retires! #34 - Posted by: Brian C on October 18, 2004 07:13 PMJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVES!! Someone let a street urchin in here. Get rid of it! #35 - Posted by: Lou on October 18, 2004 07:17 PMLook at me, I touched a commoner! HAHA! #36 - Posted by: Laura on October 18, 2004 07:21 PMSally look! I didn't frighten this one! #37 - Posted by: Laura on October 18, 2004 07:22 PMHa.Ha. Wanna hear a joke little boy. Pull my microphone!! #38 - Posted by: rightwingduck on October 18, 2004 07:22 PM"Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!! Look at this little retarded kid!" #39 - Posted by: Chris D on October 18, 2004 07:29 PMWhy should those priests have all the fun? #40 - Posted by: Hardwood on October 18, 2004 07:29 PM"...and then we're going after the elderly, and the minorities, and the women, and Hollywood, and the KIDS. AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHH!" #41 - Posted by: james in tx city on October 18, 2004 07:32 PMIf you would but LOAN me the ring... Give me the tool I need to defend my people... I SERVED IN VIETNAM! #42 - Posted by: Gullyborg on October 18, 2004 07:38 PMI would really like to see video of this 'cause it does not appear to be a brief expression... #43 - Posted by: Editor on October 18, 2004 07:42 PMJohn Kerry snatches up the Cuban vote by winning the release of Elian Gonzalez. #44 - Posted by: cowboy blob on October 18, 2004 07:43 PMYEAGH! Cheers, Is this the little boy who stole money from is dad to donate it to Kerry? As John Kerry was explaing to a young boy it was George Bush's fault that Michael Jackson touched him there, he looked up to see an Angry Dick Cheney charging the stage with a pitch fork. #47 - Posted by: Mobius One on October 18, 2004 07:52 PMKerry: "Can you say "Liar," little boy? "I don't care what your faterh says -- I did NOT play Herman Munster!" He says he's got a plan too! #50 - Posted by: Brian C on October 18, 2004 07:58 PM"He's already received his draft notice!!! See what I mean folks??!" #51 - Posted by: jonag on October 18, 2004 08:05 PMSee! I told you all that I would meet with world leaders! Welcome the king of Munchkin Land! #52 - Posted by: ezstevey on October 18, 2004 08:08 PMThx Laura:) Another one: Theresa and I just love children! Especially with ketchup! #53 - Posted by: LokiVonBismarck on October 18, 2004 08:12 PMI served in Vietnam! or JEEVES! The Boiling ketchup vat! This kids for Bush! #54 - Posted by: on October 18, 2004 08:17 PMHi Kids, welcome to sKerry's Playhouse. This is little Johnny and he just said the secret word. OK, you know what to do. Scream like this. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! #55 - Posted by: Joshua on October 18, 2004 08:21 PMdang...I puposelly skipped reading the comments, so I could come up with somethin original. Dang you RWD!!!!!! #56 - Posted by: Joshua on October 18, 2004 08:22 PMBATBOY STRIKES AGAIN! #58 - Posted by: scootran on October 18, 2004 08:31 PMWith Bush's Draft this little boy will go to Iraq, and thats bad I know. How? I SERVED IN VIETNAM! HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY PATRIOTISM! I HAVE A PLAN! #59 - Posted by: James on October 18, 2004 08:35 PMHOT DAMN! Now I see why some priests go for kids! #60 - Posted by: Josh on October 18, 2004 08:37 PMeewwwwww! #61 - Posted by: Laura on October 18, 2004 08:59 PMnot only am i going to make abortion legal and free, im going to go back in time and get this little bastered aborted. Bwa ha ha All these kids...all that research...? Sen. John Kerry reacts candidly after the boy he was interviewing during a campaign stop told audience members that mothers shouldn't have the right to kill their children before they're born. #64 - Posted by: Dr. John Allan on October 18, 2004 09:33 PMLeft-Before Botox Turning Old men into young ones...to match their mentality. Botox-should be in every home #65 - Posted by: entrepreneur on October 18, 2004 09:40 PM"Didn't we deport this boy a couple of years ago? Where's Reno? Get that lesbian on the phone. No, not that lesbian. I want to talk down to Bill's AG not Dick's daughter. When I'm president I'll appoint an AG who's competent at deporting little innocent Cuban children. I already have a plan for that." #66 - Posted by: Sticky B on October 18, 2004 09:47 PMTell me. Why should I choose YOU as my vice president? Did you hear that everybody? The boy wants to marry a rich widow. Ha ha. Maybe one day you can marry mine! #68 - Posted by: rightwingduck on October 18, 2004 10:02 PMF&%$@, the little son-of-a-b&@%# bit me! FOUR PURPLE HEARTS NOW! #69 - Posted by: Cap'n Yoaz on October 18, 2004 10:06 PMHey guys, he registered to vote! Twice!! ...and he got the rest of Ms Gonzalez's 3rd grade class to register too... #70 - Posted by: Faith+1 on October 18, 2004 10:10 PMThe two children had planned it perfectly: one would distract John Kerry with a potential photo opportunity, and the other would sneak up behind him and shove a corn cob up his ass. #71 - Posted by: Maikeru on October 18, 2004 10:31 PMCome on kids! Let's sing the John-John version of the alphabet song! National Security Now you know my insanity John's mother always told him that if he made that face enough times it would freeze that way. And after a glimpse of Theresa in full sunlight, it did. #73 - Posted by: shades0014 on October 18, 2004 10:39 PMI'd like to introduce our new mascot - Kid Kedwards. Tell them our Motto.. Kid: I served in Vietnam!! #74 - Posted by: rightwingduck on October 18, 2004 10:40 PMJohn Kerry, attempting to "Rock the Vote" with Kiss, goes into the crowd to fetch a "volunteer" for the "ritual." #75 - Posted by: Phoenix1138 on October 18, 2004 10:49 PMPresidential candidate john kerry endulges a guilty pleasure in a rare leisure moment- stealing the life essence of yet another child to add to his collection. #76 - Posted by: Devil_Dog on October 18, 2004 10:51 PMSo, small person, your name is Bobby? Well...that's a nice name. Do you like baseball? Did you see me throw that baseball? Yes, I sure did scare that catcher. He must have known that I served in Vietnam. Oh yes, I threw lots of grenades there. Can you say 'Purple Heart'? Say, is that your dog over there, Bobby? He's a very big dog, isn't he. Wow...he sure does look angry... YAAHHHHHHHH! #77 - Posted by: Scott on October 18, 2004 10:55 PMSay Johnny, have you ever seen the inside of a turkish bath house? (that one's for us old farts). #78 - Posted by: jonag on October 18, 2004 10:59 PMLittle did big John know, the kid was one of those rare ones born with ear teeth. #79 - Posted by: john russell on October 18, 2004 11:15 PMThis is your face. This is botox. This is what your face looks like when trying to smile through botox. or See kid, if you really want to ruin all your family pictures, do this: also Kerry discovers the yellow plastic wristband has a surprise controlled by a small, but not innocent, child. #80 - Posted by: Nony Mouse on October 18, 2004 11:30 PM After weeks of simply reacting to Bush's campaign, okay, i'm a photoshop novice, but i'd say this isn't too bad for a beginner... #82 - Posted by: Editor on October 19, 2004 12:17 AMHey, Ter-RAY-za, I thought you said these kids would be running around naked! #83 - Posted by: suboptimal on October 19, 2004 12:49 AMCheney isn't the only one who eats children, watch! #84 - Posted by: puschmj on October 19, 2004 01:56 AMThe little bugger told me he was voteing for bush and then bit my finger! #85 - Posted by: Monster Kabasue on October 19, 2004 01:58 AM"Senator Kerry reacts to yet another decisive loss in a debate against little Bobby" #86 - Posted by: kizzdogg on October 19, 2004 02:15 AMROTFLMBO. Great one. Can't want to see him when the "truth hurts" and "defeat stings". #87 - Posted by: Blogbat on October 19, 2004 02:26 AM"Who you going to vote for son?" "Bush." "(Laugh), (mutter) you little piece..." #88 - Posted by: Dylan on October 19, 2004 03:36 AMAt long last, John Kerry tracks down the last undecided voter in Ohio, Little Timmy McGuire, only to find that Timmy he was previously represented by John Edwards in a landmark case against the Almighty, because poor Timmy was born with a growth disorder. Hilarity ensues. #89 - Posted by: Aimee on October 19, 2004 05:34 AMAnd, you know something, not only are we going to New Hampshire, we're going to South Carolina, and Oklahoma, and Arizona, and North Dakota, and New Mexico! We're going to California, and Texas, and New York! And we're going to South Dakota, and Oregon, and Washington, and Michigan! And then we're going to Washington, D.C., to take back the White House! Yeeaaahhhh! #91 - Posted by: coughlin on October 19, 2004 07:03 AM"Sorry I tried to stab out your eyes with the microphone, young man. I thought you were one of them slanty-eyed gooks for a second there." #92 - Posted by: Chris D on October 19, 2004 07:12 AMYou would give me amnesty, right? You wouldn't send me back to Cuba, right? Bwa-ha-ha-ha #93 - Posted by: gaskar on October 19, 2004 07:28 AMLittle kid : "So...what's this I hear about you being in Vietnam?" #94 - Posted by: Exile on October 19, 2004 07:33 AMHey! This boy made my little winkee go up for the first time in years! Thanks little boy. #95 - Posted by: Yonuss on October 19, 2004 07:55 AMsenator kerry laughed out loud, and his face stuck that way from all the Botox. come on, Frank! more cat pictures to caption! those are the only ones i can do! #96 - Posted by: sarahk on October 19, 2004 08:10 AM"Ohmigod I can't belive he bit me! the little brat bit me! I haven't been bit since I was in Vietnam!..." #97 - Posted by: BloodSpite on October 19, 2004 08:40 AM"No, I'm not Michael Jackson. But I will if you want me to be." #98 - Posted by: Ropeboy on October 19, 2004 08:43 AMFrank, I think your headline is the funniest. Although RWD had me laughing out loud too. #99 - Posted by: LC ima mommy on October 19, 2004 09:38 AMStay tuned for a very special "Frenchie and the Sanjay Kid," when F+SK headline a benefit concert for the letter E, live from Fort Lauderdale! #100 - Posted by: Matt Antoline on October 19, 2004 09:47 AM"Today's campaign rally has been brought to you by the letter E, and the number 2." #101 - Posted by: Beo on October 19, 2004 09:48 AMFor the last time, that's FUHRER!!!!!!!! #102 - Posted by: really_bored_junior on October 19, 2004 10:03 AM
"Ich bin ein Bostonian!" #104 - Posted by: Beo on October 19, 2004 10:36 AM"Ha, this kid just said 'viva la Bush!' Ha! What a stupid little kid!" #105 - Posted by: Beo on October 19, 2004 10:38 AMJuan sees the invisable elephant Following days newspaper headline: "Child suffers chemical burns trying to bleach liberal stench off of clothing." #107 - Posted by: KB3GFF on October 19, 2004 10:46 AMI'm sorry, but Michael Moore's new diet only allows him to eat children, and today just happens to be your day #108 - Posted by: KB3GFF on October 19, 2004 10:51 AMdamn! this ones resistance to the vulcan neck pinch is strong! or Say it!!!! Say I have better Hair!!!!!!!! or He says he was left behind!!!!! I knew i would find one!! Adam #109 - Posted by: Adam from Utah on October 19, 2004 10:53 AM"Get in my belly!" #110 - Posted by: on October 19, 2004 10:54 AMA young voter reminds Presidential Candidate John F. Kerry of a memory that was seared, seared into him. In order to show his willingness to fight the War on Terror to the finish, Presidential Candidate John F. Kerry attempts to kill Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi with a microphone. #111 - Posted by: Archangel on October 19, 2004 11:02 AMhey everybody, can you guess this oingo Boingo tune? I...I,I love little boys, when they're around they make me feel Do not say you like Bush ever again. since this mic is wireless, i can't strangle you with its cable, so you'll have to settle for an old fashioned bludgeoning. #113 - Posted by: puschmj on October 19, 2004 11:05 AMBE HEALED!!! You little Republican bastard!!!!! Where's Edwards, dammit?!! #114 - Posted by: Daisy on October 19, 2004 11:38 AMOW, OW, OW.... He Bites!! #115 - Posted by: Amer-I-Can on October 19, 2004 11:41 AM"Damn! This brat is peeing on my leg and I have to pretend it's funny"
"See Billy, there's no such thing as monsters that protect you from bad people... What's that sound? IT HURTSSSS USSSSSSS!!! NASSSTY TWIXY HOBBITSSISS!! #117 - Posted by: xxlbriefs on October 19, 2004 11:59 AM"Proof that children are vile, like garlic, and John Kerry is a blood-sucking bastard, like a vampire." #118 - Posted by: Robby B! on October 19, 2004 12:27 PM"(You're rolling? Yes?) I GOT ONE!! I GOT ONE!!!! I GOT ONE!!!!" #119 - Posted by: Veda on October 19, 2004 12:53 PMRepresent YOU????? HAAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAA #120 - Posted by: BelChingBuDha on October 19, 2004 01:15 PMSenator Quirrell attempts to seize the Florida Vote from young Harry Potter, but a powerful magic spell causes him to burn with pain. #121 - Posted by: Gullyborg on October 19, 2004 04:38 PMBilly, do you like gladiator movies? #122 - Posted by: cb1100rider on October 19, 2004 05:28 PMhaha X #123 - Posted by: xcalibur on October 19, 2004 05:38 PMDo you like it when a dog rubs up and down your leg. #124 - Posted by: rightwingduck on October 19, 2004 05:56 PMMichael Jackson is a filty liar. I invented the Moonwalk. Watch. (crash) Damn secret service agent. #125 - Posted by: rightwingduck on October 19, 2004 05:57 PMKerry: "Yes, what would you like to tell me today?" You know what I love about this kid? He hasn't worked in the last year either!! Welcome to American Idol - Junior. Now this little kid thinks he can sing better than Edwards. Welcome to America's Funniest Film Clips - hey Billy, let's look at Edwards fussing with his hair! ...And putting on lipstick! #127 - Posted by: rightwingduck on October 19, 2004 07:59 PMJeeves! This little whippersnapper laughed when I said I have a plan! Punish him! #128 - Posted by: Tex on October 19, 2004 08:11 PM1. I was just doing my best Howard Dean impression. Everybody loved when that guy screamed! 2. I just farted! Did you hear that? It was terrific! 3. "Hey kid, I served in Vietnam! I have a plan! I - Wait a minute. That kid looks like an Angry Rottweiller. A very Rottweiller... AHHHH MY TESTICLES. HE'S GOT ME BY MY MINISCULE PISTACCIOS!" #129 - Posted by: Reed the Viking on October 19, 2004 08:44 PMTeresa: "Oh, and this is a picture of John right after I went full throttle on the remote control butt plug. The key here ladies is to always hit him with the juice when he least expects it. Oprah: "Any other questions for Terayza on training your very own sissy boy?" #130 - Posted by: NotGonnaSay on October 19, 2004 09:29 PMHey, anyone ever seen invasion of the bodysnatchers? I think Kerry's just seen a Republican (you know, someone that's not "one of the pod"). #131 - Posted by: Phoenix1138 on October 19, 2004 09:39 PMHa, ha. You are such a sweet little immigrant.I think we'll let you stay. #132 - Posted by: rightwingduck on October 19, 2004 09:49 PMI can't top Franks...but if that doesn't count I'm voting for Devil_Dog's...I actually laughed out loud. #133 - Posted by: Monica on October 20, 2004 12:24 AM"He tricked me! Ahh! The wire! Get the wire! Terayza! Someone! Edwards? D*mn pansy @$$! GET THIS FRIGGIN' WIRE OUTTA MY EAR!" #134 - Posted by: Veda on October 20, 2004 12:28 AMStay calm child, the botox is wearing off. #135 - Posted by: Jeff and Monte on October 20, 2004 02:23 AMI gave up killing little kids like you years ago. I SWEEEAR! #136 - Posted by: Formerly Frank on October 20, 2004 12:04 PMRealizing too late the mistake in his photo op with known midgit terrorist Al-most Qaeda, Senator Kerry lets out an ear splitting scream just before they are both wiped off the face of the Earth by S.M.I.T.E. #137 - Posted by: Dave on October 20, 2004 02:52 PMLilly, Marilyn, Grandpa! "Auuuuuuggh! SH*T!! This kid's my grandson!! Who's responsible?!! Edwards will sue!!" #139 - Posted by: on October 21, 2004 12:13 AMJohnny... do you play baseball? #140 - Posted by: ju571n14n on October 21, 2004 01:05 AMDave: Al-most Quaeda *snicker* #141 - Posted by: jean on October 21, 2004 05:17 AMPost a comment
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