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October 20, 2004
I've Sold Out; So What Else Is New?
Yes, I now got a paying job writing radio ads for anti-Bush organizations. You may say it's selling out, but I say... Screw you! I like money! You can hear the first one here (and, no, that's not me doing any of the voices). 72 Responses To "I've Sold Out; So What Else Is New?"
FIRST!!!!!1 #1 - Posted by: Adam (VRWC member) on October 20, 2004 09:03 PMFIRST!!!!!1 #2 - Posted by: Adam (VRWC member) on October 20, 2004 09:04 PMWhoops... Sorry (and second, and third) #3 - Posted by: Adam (VRWC member) on October 20, 2004 09:05 PMAh man, I wanted to get the patent on pure evil... #4 - Posted by: Adam (VRWC member) on October 20, 2004 09:08 PMAs someone who's written radio ads for a paycheck, I give you big thumbs up Frank! #5 - Posted by: Knievel on October 20, 2004 09:17 PMI especially like the "no commercial by products". Talk about efficiency. Hey, Frank. There's something in this for you. Enjoy, and put it to good use. :) #7 - Posted by: Veda on October 20, 2004 10:03 PMYou seller outer! How dare you! You should be gutted and dropped from a really, really high bridge. Oh wait, guess I should have looked at the title...that was satire? I thought it was a DNC ad. Oh well. No hard feelings, eh? #8 - Posted by: The Bear on October 20, 2004 10:04 PMOop! Almost forgot! Kudos on the writing position, even if it's not regarding your position... Nice landing #9 - Posted by: Veda on October 20, 2004 10:05 PMFRANK, YOU HAVE OUT DONE YOURSELF. FUNNIEST.EVER. Jason Oustanding!!! Well done, Frank! Sell that one to Glen Beck. He'll get lots of mileage out of it. Plug your Halliburton T-shirts during your next ad. Jack. #11 - Posted by: Jack Deth on October 20, 2004 10:21 PMHey, Frank! I might have found a way for you to generate interest in S.M.I.T.E.! The DOD war game Urban Resolve gives analysts "a chance to peek into the future by introducing weapons and tools that don't yet exist into their battle scenarios." Doesn't that sound like - all together now - S.M.I.T.E.? http://www.wired.com/news/technology/ "You can say, 'Let's create a sensor that detects people by the glare of their bald heads,'" said Dan Davis, an ISI director who worked with Lucas on the project. "If you can describe it, you can put it in." Get them to put S.M.I.T.E. into their scenario, they realize the potential, and - cha-ching! - DOD funding pours in! And maybe the bald head detector could be incorporated into S.M.I.T.E. as an extra-cost option (further enriching its developer). #12 - Posted by: Waffle King on October 20, 2004 10:26 PMExcellent. #13 - Posted by: aelfheld on October 20, 2004 10:32 PMLMAO! I'm forwarding this to Terry McAwful... they need new material. #15 - Posted by: tdenton on October 20, 2004 10:47 PMWaaaaaaaaaaait, that's the KTE: Halliburton list put into audio! Fantastic! I especially like the *meow*ing after the part about Halliburton using chem. weapons on kittens. Nice touch. #16 - Posted by: Turkeyhead on October 20, 2004 11:17 PMLike always Very funny! A great way to make the leftists think you're doing them a favor, but you actually make them look bad, and make money off of them as well. Cool! #18 - Posted by: LifeKnight on October 20, 2004 11:39 PMHAHAH! That was pretty damn funny. Almost like something offa Blame Bush or something. #19 - Posted by: ThaSickness on October 20, 2004 11:45 PMHey, send it to Rush, he will definitely play it on air. Wow, Frank, you are big time now! #20 - Posted by: MountainMama on October 21, 2004 12:18 AMWow! You're definitely on to something here! You could do this with all of your KTE lists! Then you'd have enough for a BIG diamond set in platinum!! #22 - Posted by: jonag on October 21, 2004 01:17 AMyou have GOT to get on the air, Frank. This is easily one of your best moments! #23 - Posted by: LokiVonBismarck on October 21, 2004 01:50 AMNice one... I especially liked the ominous music in the background... nice. #24 - Posted by: siklilpig on October 21, 2004 02:32 AMI simply MUST stop reading things or clicking on things on this site while drinking... milk was not meant to come out of the nose... #25 - Posted by: Cyruski on October 21, 2004 03:01 AMFrank, Mountain Mama is right.. Get this to Rush. Sorry about the Yankees (remember they are Pee Wee Herman's favorite team) #26 - Posted by: Mongo on October 21, 2004 05:52 AMAs a current employee of Halliburton's, I have to ask... What was so damning in that ad anyway? If anything, I think the makers of it served only to shoot themselves in the foot while increasing our voting base. Well done FrankJ!! #27 - Posted by: akronin on October 21, 2004 05:56 AMRush would appreciate this ad. The Evil Empire has fallen! I just fired off an e-mail to kerry and the national democratic party asking them if offering crack for votes was the best they could do. Can not wait to see what they will say in reply. That is if they have the guts to reply. #29 - Posted by: Algen on October 21, 2004 06:18 AMsee frank? told you, Glenn Beck! Maybe in your next radio ad you can let everyone know that Halliburton is also recycling doggy dodo and packaging it as vegetarian sausage. This must come out, people have a right to know. #31 - Posted by: BeeBee on October 21, 2004 06:57 AMFrank you must let the people knoW! its there right! let them know! although you mistated the truth.. haliberton dosn't have the patent on pure evil they have indevidual patents for every evil thing ever! one for killing babies in Iraq and another for eating meat! and another for killing innocent terrorists Uhh i mean fredom fighters.... #32 - Posted by: Michael Miller on October 21, 2004 08:09 AMSorry Mr. J, if that is your real name, but you have just bought yourself one serious lawsuit. Claiming yourself as the writer of our latest campaign ad is illegal, unconstitutional, and a violation of our basic human rights. We have contacted the UN and France and asked permission to be cross with you. As soon as the UN Committee for Acomplishing Nothing of Any Importance in the World votes to give us authority to have righteous indignation and ire regarding your attempt to steal our intellectual property we will begin proceedings. Further attempts to destroy our life, liberty and pursuit of happiness through your fraud will result in an escalated response. You should be warned that a UN subcommittee is already debating whether or not we would be supported in the international community if we through a tantrum. So, you can see, we take these things very seriously. P.S. Cheney's daughter is a lesbian, and we support her. P.P.S. Does my hair look okay? Sincerely, John Edwards #34 - Posted by: John Edwards on October 21, 2004 09:47 AMsorry, through=threw damn synonyms! #35 - Posted by: Chris on October 21, 2004 09:49 AMI love the kitty part!!! Did you recruit Minerva for that line? Funny stuff...yea, Rush would love it! #36 - Posted by: Bikermommy on October 21, 2004 10:11 AMWhoa, that like SO freaked me out... When I opened Frank's sound clip, it opened and played in SonicStage player for my MiniDisc player, where I had transferred Ann Coulter's Audio Book version of TREASON to MD so I could listen to it while I work in the server room at my client's office. When Frank's clip was done, it moved seamlessly right on into Ann Coulter doing her thing - slamming liberals. LOL - Total mindbender there... :) #37 - Posted by: Rubber(Red)neck on October 21, 2004 02:13 PMI'm pretty sure those Halliburton guys have been painting smelly brown stripes down the center of my underwear while I sleep at night. As you can imagine it is quite annoying and is putting somewhat of a damper on my love life. Now that the truth is coming out maybe I can return the favor. #38 - Posted by: Hal A. Burton on October 21, 2004 08:01 PMYour first try? That was excellent. It goes in my collection with Lileks' "Your Agonizer Please" and the myriad "Yarg" mixes. Nice touch the kitty's meow. #39 - Posted by: Reese on October 21, 2004 11:57 PMSince we all like Frank's "Evil Haliburton" commercial and want radio hosts like Glen Beck or Rush Limbaugh to play it, I think EVERYONE here should send those hosts' producers an e-mail with the link to http://www.imao.us/archives/002128.html If Frank J. sends the e-mail, it will look like he's "self-promoting" but if we do it, it will show that Frank J. has a fan base that also listens to their shows. These are the e-mail addresses for the major talk show hosts' producers: Rush Limbaugh: Sean Hannity: Glen Beck: Laura Ingraham: Michael Savage: Jerry Doyle: Michael Medved: G. Gordon Liddy: Michael Reagan: Rusty Humphries: I LOVE it!!! There's only one problem .... every time someone on our side does some over-the-top satire ... they do an ad which proves it wasn't over-the-top at all. I expect they'll steal it & play it straight any moment now. #42 - Posted by: BD on October 22, 2004 08:41 AMFACT! That's a funny commercial. But what do I know. I'm just another puppy-blending seal-clubbing right winger. #43 - Posted by: Bird Dog on October 22, 2004 10:24 AMFortunately, you'll get to give most of it back in taxes, thanks to your chosen candidate. Unless, of course, you're being bumped up to the Kerry-Heinz-Soros level. Not likely. Enjoy the next few months. #44 - Posted by: Clio on October 22, 2004 10:38 AMBWAAHAHAHAHA.Monty python LIVES,way to go Frank. #45 - Posted by: wetzel36 on October 22, 2004 10:48 AMIt's good to see some moderation and civility back in the campaign. #46 - Posted by: Dave Schuler on October 22, 2004 11:37 AMGreat job of advertising! How can I make me some of that dough? I've been waiting sixty years to be co-opted, Lord knows I'm ready. Great job of advertising! How can I make me some of that dough? I've been waiting sixty years to be co-opted, Lord knows I'm ready. You're hired! Al Franken needs new material! #49 - Posted by: George Soreass on October 22, 2004 02:17 PMLoved it, loved it, loved it! Only for some reason, I expected it to end with "I'm George Bush, and I did not approve this message." #50 - Posted by: Persnickety on October 22, 2004 02:24 PMMany thanks for all the great information. I just purchased 4,000 additional shares. I'd forgotten how truly evil Halliburton is. I'll invest my money in evil corporations any day versus those losers that tree huggers buy. Cheeers. #51 - Posted by: Steve on October 22, 2004 04:25 PMFACT: Frank - unknown even to his own somewhat uninformed and politically igmorant self - is mostly telling the truth about Halliburton. #52 - Posted by: charlemagne on October 22, 2004 07:06 PMYou better watch who you call "igmorant," Froggy! #53 - Posted by: Sean M. on October 22, 2004 08:23 PMHey sean m., - igmorant is a newly coined word that easily defines someone like you - it's short for "ignorant moron" ;) Frank, bambino! 'Frankly' ;) I think your ad is transparently partisan, just the sort of thing a hypocritical drug addict loser like Limbaugh would run. btw, he's different than most drug addicts because he continues to bash his own people (other drug addicts) - thus the word "hypocrite" Or something a sicko employee molester like O'Reilly would yuk it up about while he sits on his vibrator. Or something Sean Hannity would run between the uncontrollable tirades that make you wonder if he ever got enough time at the tit when he was little. Bottom line: Kerry is gonna win this thing, and the stone age policies that neocons want to put in place are gone forever because the world is just moving to fast. So hop on the train, or stay in your horse and carriage. Gee, I love the way George Bush has united this country, don't you? :) #54 - Posted by: charlemag on October 23, 2004 12:51 AMDoes the sound cut out in mid-sentence when you are listening to Frank's satirical radio ads? The fix for that problem is FREE! Download the latest media players for your computer: MAC WINDOWS NOTE: French Internet users won't pay for the free software but will pay the regular per-minute Internet access fees. Unlike America, most French Internet services are metered rather than a flat rate... Just another reason why the French are jealous of America. #55 - Posted by: Scott on October 23, 2004 12:37 PMHALLIBURTON IS PEOPLE!!!! #56 - Posted by: Crotalus Atrox on October 23, 2004 01:53 PMI only thought Halliburton was a little evil. Now I know it is a lot evil. Thanks. #57 - Posted by: Andy on October 23, 2004 06:16 PMDoes this mean I can sell kittens to Halliburton instead of just giving them away for free? W00T! #58 - Posted by: RebeccaH on October 25, 2004 11:04 AMhey! When did Haliburton acquire microsoft's patent on pure evil? #59 - Posted by: asolemnpromise on October 25, 2004 05:02 PMhey! When did Haliburton acquire microsoft's patent on pure evil? #60 - Posted by: a solemn promise on October 25, 2004 05:03 PMOh man... I was dying of laughter for every single "FACT". that was beautifully done. #61 - Posted by: Chad on October 25, 2004 06:03 PMcharlemag exhibits the psychological condition known as "projection". #62 - Posted by: Thrawn on October 25, 2004 10:02 PMThis is so funny. Its perfect! #63 - Posted by: Corbin on October 26, 2004 08:48 PMI like this... Investment Brutal rape teen rape, rape fantasy rape videos. Date rape gang violence, rapes rape scenes. Forced sex videos rape stories, asian rape interracial rape. Ass rape free rape video, free forced sex girl rape. Rape photos free rape clips, rape xxx military rape. Rape scenes forced sex fantasy, rape pic free rape movies. Anime rape erotic rape stories, workplace violence anime rape. male rape #71 - Posted by: black rape on January 23, 2005 03:16 PMPost a comment
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