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October 28, 2004
If Bush is Reelected, Do You Think the Radical Left's Heads Will Explode Like in Scanners?
As the election draws nearer, expect even crazier tactics from the Democrats to try and tip the election in their favor. Here are some things they may try: * Make Michael Moore even fatter, hairier, and nosier to increase his sphere of influence. * Attack D.C. via the most dangerous weapon known to man - the zeppelin! * Try to get angry, biting monkeys the vote due to their high Democrat leanings. * All major media gives full editing control to Terry McAuliffe and James Carville... the ones that haven't already, that is. * They offer proof that Bush is Saddam Hussein. * Have a Halloween contest for scariest costume and everyone shows up as Bush because, ya know, no one is scarier than Bush. * They trot out an endless parade of floozies who say Bush groped them. * Get even dumber, shriller celebrities to make hysterical statements about voting (e.g. "If you don't vote, we could lose gravity as we know it!") * Since the 527s haven't worked... unleash the 528s! * Every tree in Redwood National Park is cut down and converted into forged documents about Bush's National Guard service. * Hide in the closets of nursing homes to scare old folks about Social Security. * In protest of imagined voter intimidation, sit in front of polling places and set themselves on fire hoping the smell keeps away Republicans. * Try and prove Bush's incompetence by stealing explosives in Iraq themselves. * Claim brutality when they are shot by Marines. * Go out into the streets and have a screech-a-thon from now until the election. * Make use of their least tapped special interest group: gay, Latino, handicapped ninjas. 27 Responses To "If Bush is Reelected, Do You Think the Radical Left's Heads Will Explode Like in Scanners?"
Frank, If the radical left's heads explode, does that end their influence in America for good? If so, Karl Rove should win the Congressional Medal of Honor! He showed the world that the "moron" Republicans are far smarter than the "intellectual elites." #2 - Posted by: MountainMama on October 28, 2004 08:37 AMbefore you know it hollywood lesbians like rosie cheeks odonnel will be hitting on dick cheney's daughter. #3 - Posted by: pale rider on October 28, 2004 08:37 AMAll major media gives full editing control to Terry McAuliffe and James Carville... the ones that haven't already, that is. I don't know but your Link to Enjoy the Draft has made me reconsider my top source for funny...c-ya later taters #6 - Posted by: gibsonrlz on October 28, 2004 09:21 AMFrank, i think they're already doing most of these. :) #7 - Posted by: sarahk on October 28, 2004 09:29 AMAccording to pale rider: before you know it hollywood lesbians like rosie cheeks odonnel will be hitting on dick.... Another reason for real men to stay out of Hollywood. It don't get that late. Maybe I've been reading to much NYT and watching to much CBS. I couldn't help but take only a portion of your statement, and then use it in a totally different context than what you intended. #8 - Posted by: Sticky B on October 28, 2004 09:33 AMLet them trot you floozies who claim Bush groped them! It only helped Clinton and Arnold. It'll make him seem manly and virile. Right? #9 - Posted by: JP on October 28, 2004 09:46 AMUm, hippies don't have to set themselves on fire for their smell to keep Republicans away... #10 - Posted by: mrkickstar on October 28, 2004 09:56 AMI wish the law of gravity would be repealed sometimes - Lord knows my back wouldn't hurt so much! I can't wait to see all the leftists howling in self-pity - all that work, time, and money down the drain. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA #11 - Posted by: Scott Sanburn on October 28, 2004 10:27 AMBush is Hitler, not Saddam Hussein. Sheesh! #12 - Posted by: Laurence Simon on October 28, 2004 11:08 AM"If Bush is Reelected, Do You Think the Radical Left's Heads Will Explode Like in Scanners?" If not, I can provide you with a sound file of a genuine Italian (myself) screaming "I SUPPORT AMERICA!". That should short-circuit whatever passess for their neurons. "Bush is Hitler, not Saddam Hussein." Actually, Bush is just one of the many clones of Our Revered Man, Adolf Hitler. Hitler himself is just a clone, but since he's one of the most famous ones, we stick to that name to trick audiences. Go VRWC! Mu mu mu. #13 - Posted by: Francesco Poli on October 28, 2004 11:33 AM- The DNC Kidnaps al Zarqawi, and threatens to behead him if Bush doesn't admit he voted twice in Ohio and Florida... - The NIH proves conclusively that dementia is hereditary in Democratic voters... - Former VP Al Gore given credit for discovering the origins of the 7/11 coffee bean after noticing its close resemblance to fly larve'... - Boston University study shows that 4 out of 5 White House female interns carry cuban cigars in their purses... - Kerry maintains his Flip flop reputation by declaring in a post election speech..."I won the presidency. That was before I lost it". Insiders say that he had a good chance before he "lost it".... - Terry McCauliffe and Ted Kennedy check into the Betty Ford substance abuse clinic for life, mumbling something about that "bastard Rove, the antichrist".... - Boston Red Sox owners confess that Vatican "Miracle" behind World Series win.... - French President Chirac Gets "Oil Man of the year" award from UN secratary Kofi Annan. Announces plans to run for Syrian Presidency in 2008... - Florida Election Board finds Al Qaaqa explosives in Coke machine in the lobby of the Foutain Bleu Hotel along with 3 million Bush voter ballots... - Hillery Clinton kicks off 2008 presidential campaign early stating that "[There] is no reason for the voting public to be concerned that the CIA refuses to investigate Guilliani"... #14 - Posted by: Hunter on October 28, 2004 12:15 PMActually, they Gay, Latino, Handicapped ninjas prefer to be called Homosexual-Hispanic-Handicapped-Ninjas. Or the Triple-H Ninjas. They like the WWE. #15 - Posted by: OIdManWinters on October 28, 2004 12:53 PMAs a gay latino ninja, I take offence at your list. Well not the marine brutality thing, I am a ninja but even I don't mess with marines. Fabulously yours; Desperate democrats are so cute to watch! #17 - Posted by: jonag on October 28, 2004 12:59 PM"Do You Think the Radical Left's Heads Will Explode Like in Scanners.." Nope. In scanners, the brain pressure burst the skull, and that's not likely to happen in this case. Plenty of empty space in lefty skulls for the meager brains to expand without any pressure. On the other hand, I could buy the thoery that their heads will simply split open like pumpkins and bats fly out. #18 - Posted by: Yep on October 28, 2004 01:07 PM"...set themselves on fire hoping the smell keeps away Republicans." I'm a Libertarian and frankly, this would attract me to the polls. #19 - Posted by: Ginger on October 28, 2004 01:47 PM"I'm a Libertarian and frankly, this would attract me to the polls." I have to agree with Ginger on this one. #20 - Posted by: bobthemad on October 28, 2004 02:12 PMA Screech-a-thon??? After all the suffering inflicted on this country by countless "Saved By The Bell" spinoffs, can't we finally say that America has already had its share of Dustin Diamond??? #22 - Posted by: AWG on October 28, 2004 03:39 PMAren't one and two the same thing? #23 - Posted by: Drastic on October 28, 2004 09:52 PMWe can only hope that they will show simple consideration for others and have their heads explode outside where the clean-up won't be so bad. #24 - Posted by: Mikey on October 29, 2004 07:26 AM* Claim brutality when they are shot by Marines. LOL! I love the non-sequiters. #25 - Posted by: tdenton on October 30, 2004 01:30 AMI hope not, think of the mess that would make.... #26 - Posted by: Vulture 6 on October 31, 2004 12:54 AMPost a comment
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