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November 03, 2004
81 Responses To "I'm Happy, and You All Benefit"
Michael Moore? George Soros? Susan Estrich? BARBARA? I don't know, it's so hard to choose. #1 - Posted by: Carin on November 3, 2004 10:08 AMHow about DASCHLE, the puppy dog... No Sioux for you.... #2 - Posted by: Mongo on November 3, 2004 10:09 AMMAKE DASCHLE CRY!!!!!!!!! #3 - Posted by: ChrTh on November 3, 2004 10:09 AMHmm...hard to choose between Michael Moore and George Soros. As much as I lean toward Moore, Soros is the only one of the two who has *lost* money in this gambit. But then, maybe that's reason to push for a good gloat over Moore. Soros is already being punished...? #4 - Posted by: Devin on November 3, 2004 10:10 AMMan, where to start? How about Terry McAuliffe, Tad Devine, JF'nK & John Edwards, Te-ray-sah going ballistic, Mrs. Edwards eating Tom Daschle, Pat Leahy (you know what I'm talking about!), Bill & Hillary voting for Bush, Richard Holbrooke, Bob Kerrey, Ben Affleck, and the Kerry daughters getting beaten down by the Bush twins. Then have Rumsfeld be extremely happy, have Condi make out with Scott McClellan, Ari Fleischer cameo, and Barney's take on the results. #5 - Posted by: Turkeyhead on November 3, 2004 10:14 AMHey "ChrTh" lets work on that. You can have SarahK. I'm orginally from Fl, but live in Dc now. Maybe Frank would like a Fl gal. :) #6 - Posted by: Caroline E. on November 3, 2004 10:14 AMDump on Moore! Dump on Moore! And make sure you SEND IT TO HIM! >chortle #7 - Posted by: EffinNewGuy on November 3, 2004 10:15 AMYou must make it a precision gloat. Michael Moore, OBL, George Soros, all of MoveOn.org, ACT, CBS, Dan Rather, NY Times - people who used their position and money to try and influence an election. Those are the people that are truly gloat-worthy. #8 - Posted by: swiney on November 3, 2004 10:15 AMDaschle! Daschle! Daschle! #9 - Posted by: Beo on November 3, 2004 10:16 AMOooooh Ohhhhh! (raising and waiving hand frantically) JAMES CARVELL!!!!! Yeah, do him AND The Fat Propagandist! HAR HAR HAR HARRRRRRRRR #10 - Posted by: EffinNewGuy on November 3, 2004 10:17 AMAri comes back to beat on Daschle, and Jim Thune joins in the weaselbeating. Kerry gets beat by his wife. George Soros has a run-in with chomps, and Barney mauls Edwards (maybe the only person Barney could maul) #11 - Posted by: shaggydave on November 3, 2004 10:17 AMGloating against either Michael Moore or George Soros Song? Hmmm... though it's not really much of a dancing song, the most appropo title would have to be "Battle Hymn of the Republic." Although, it would be funny to see you dance to the theme from Smurfs. "La, la, lala la la; la lala la la..." #13 - Posted by: Beo on November 3, 2004 10:19 AMOh you could always dance to the theme from Team America. #14 - Posted by: Beo on November 3, 2004 10:20 AMI would also like to see John Edwards come down with a mysterious malady that requires extensive surgery and an extended hospital stay. I "hope" he doesn't fall into the care of a vindictive physician or two....... #15 - Posted by: EffinNewGuy on November 3, 2004 10:21 AMI want Janeane Garafolo to throw herself at Buck the Marine. #16 - Posted by: Eric on November 3, 2004 10:22 AMHappy Dance Song? How about just an endless chorus of the taunting "Nya Nya Nya Nya Nyaaaaa!" #18 - Posted by: EffinNewGuy on November 3, 2004 10:23 AMNow I know how John F'n Kerry felt when the Sox won the ALCS! So THIS is "giddy" huh? Mmmmmm, I LIKES it , I does.... #19 - Posted by: EffinNewGuy on November 3, 2004 10:25 AMHere in Pittsburgh we have Quinn in the Morning and he plays a version of "Who let the Dogs Out". Only it goes "Who's in the White House ... Bush ... Bush ... Bush" That would make for a hella-good happy dance. #20 - Posted by: gaskar on November 3, 2004 10:28 AMI just got another song idea. I forget the name of it but I think the chorus goes like this: Na Na Na Na! Na Na Na Na! Hey hey, goodbye! #21 - Posted by: Tex on November 3, 2004 10:28 AM1) George Soros and MoveOn deserve the derision most. We should be graceful winners and let Kerry, Edwards, and the Dems in general off the hook. But no mercy for the decietful, fear-mongering, vitriol-spitting hacks of MoveOn. They're first up against the wall. 2) shaggydave, I like the word "weaselbeating" ... even though it sounds vaguely autoerotic. 3) The song must be Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves. I'm laughing just thinking about it.
George Soros, Michael Moore, Linda Ronstadt, Bruce Springsteen, the Babs, Matt Damon (hubba, sorry), George Clooney, Alec Baldwin, The Dixie Chicks(!), Jacque Chirac, Gerhart Shroeder, Osama Bin Laden, et al.! #23 - Posted by: jonag on November 3, 2004 10:29 AMI think I need a "Bush - Cheney '08" t-shirt...hint...hint... #24 - Posted by: MrWango on November 3, 2004 10:32 AMNatalie Maines and Bruce Springsteen #25 - Posted by: AlgUSF on November 3, 2004 10:34 AMGlenn Beck stole your idea Frank!
For the song, how about "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue" by Toby Keith or "Independence Day" by Martina McBride. Keep in mind, I rarely listen to country music, but those two songs jump out at me. #27 - Posted by: Turkeyhead on November 3, 2004 10:37 AMI could care less who you gloat to, as there are soooooo many to choose from (it's what we in the Air Force refer to as a "target rich environment") But for the song, I say: "Don't Worry, Be Happy!" Bobby McFarrin.... That song Rocks!!! #28 - Posted by: Tremor on November 3, 2004 10:41 AMI have the perfect song: The theme from "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood!" #29 - Posted by: Beo on November 3, 2004 10:43 AMFor a zany IMAO reversal, Kerry should be temporarily placed into the presidency - with Bush's same cabinet. Rumsfeld can beat him til he cries like a little girl! Best song for a happy dance? Icelandic pop techno version of 'I'm a little teapot'. #30 - Posted by: Jess on November 3, 2004 10:44 AMIt has to be Moore, you could have 500 pages of him getting bitten by Chomps and I'd never stop laughing. #31 - Posted by: Godless Conservative on November 3, 2004 10:50 AMJimmy Carter should be in there somewhere. #32 - Posted by: gusman on November 3, 2004 11:06 AMDaschle, of course! Mr. Whinybutt got slapped down. Soros and the MoveOn freaks seem to be the general consensus as well. Michael Moore is almost too easy a target. And of course, the wide swath of Democratic pundits, too numerous to mention, that spoke as if Kerry were already in the White House. Dang! Like Tremor said above, this is a "target rich environment" and I just can't nail it down to just one!!! Just hit 'em all, Frank. #33 - Posted by: Seth on November 3, 2004 11:22 AM"Linus and Lucy", the theme from the Peanuts cartoon. #34 - Posted by: apotheosis on November 3, 2004 11:24 AMDANCIN' ON SUNSHINE would be fabulous or BEAUTIFUL DAY from U2 is also acceptable. OBL goes to the cave entrance, looks up and says "oh shit..." Bush '04ever #36 - Posted by: Vtwin on November 3, 2004 11:29 AMAl Franken...please please please rip on Al Franken! #37 - Posted by: S on November 3, 2004 11:35 AMOf course, Michael Moore! And Jimmy Carter! And Al Gore! "He betrayed this country!" BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA And Dan Rather! Oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please Dan Rather! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA! And Puff Daschle! And John Edwards! And Teresa "Shove it, Scumbag" Heinz-Kerry! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! #38 - Posted by: MountainMama on November 3, 2004 11:42 AMDaschle needs a shaming....I love shaggydave's suggestion, 'Barney mauls Edwards'....we definately need to see more Barney. He could bring out even Chomps' soft side! And my favorite villian of this whole thing.....Te-ray-sah!! #39 - Posted by: Neocon Cowgal on November 3, 2004 11:48 AMJohn Edwards gets a sex change and womb transplant, gets pregnant by Kerry, and then finds himself unable to find an OBGYN to deliver his high-risk pregnancy because skyrocketing malpractice insurance has driven them all out of business. Well I can dream, can't I??? #40 - Posted by: Wacky Hermit on November 3, 2004 11:59 AMOk....not to tell you how to do your job...BUT... how about Kerry, Carvelle, McAwful, Moore, Raines, Soros, and Blather are waiting in the bowels of hell. Satan calls them in, they grovel and whine. Satan gives them one more chance but only if they go even more over the bend (after making them do some really degrading stuff). They grovel and leave...then, after the door closes, Satan pulls off his mask to reveal the face of....Rover. Did people already say Michael Moore? :) Also, how about Susan Estrich after her stupid prediction about Ohio. #42 - Posted by: kevkersey on November 3, 2004 12:42 PMSong: (But don't do Moore, out of respect for the poor asphalt). Yee-Haw!!! I vote for the Daschole. There's almost nobody more deserving. The despair the rest of the moonbat crowd feels is almost enough for me. Oh, and I love shaggydave's idea. Ari definitely needs to beat on Daschole. Happy Dance songs: "The Time Warp" Rocky Horror Picture Show "Venus" Bananarama "Thriller" M. Jackson #46 - Posted by: FormerHostage on November 3, 2004 12:59 PMOh....wait...wait...wait! How about you dance in front of this HUGE poster of Dubya to that song by the Ramones that has the lyrics "When I think of you I touch myself" Daschle. Hollywood leftists. Fans of Che Guevara. ANDREW SULLIVAN. Any or all of the above would do nicely for a bit of a gloat-fest. I'm sincerely hoping that some of the folks who threatened to leave the country actually WILL this time. #48 - Posted by: IowaSoccerMom on November 3, 2004 01:03 PMI know others have said this, but you HAVE to have Michael Moore torn limb-from-limb by angry Democrats that blame him for the loss. #49 - Posted by: Phoenix1138 on November 3, 2004 01:04 PMSAFETY DANCE!! You know 'cause we're all much safer from terrorism now. #50 - Posted by: The Meatriarchy on November 3, 2004 01:16 PMFrank, I would like to see a basic Hollywood gloat - something with the likes of Alec Baldwin, Barbara Striesand, ASSton Kutcher and Howard Stern...PLEASE!!! PLEASE!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #52 - Posted by: Poll Dancer on November 3, 2004 01:30 PMOh, and throw Michael Moore in there, too. But, for God's sake, make sure to lift using your knees, we don't want you throwing your back out!!!! #53 - Posted by: Poll Dancer on November 3, 2004 01:31 PMI vote that you should dance to the song from the Hampster Dance Website. #54 - Posted by: OSU Endyr on November 3, 2004 01:44 PMAl Franken. Susan Sarandon. Janeane Garofalo. ::insert loony leftist here:: No doubt about it! You need to bitch slap Daschle around. That Asshole has had it coming for way too long. I guess he wasn't able to distribute enough crack to the dead injuns on the reservations. For the song, how about We are the champions by Queen. #56 - Posted by: Kamanftw on November 3, 2004 03:03 PMHappy dance song: Get Over It #57 - Posted by: killerb on November 3, 2004 03:16 PMHappy dance music: SAFETY DANCE by Men Without Hats. As in, WE ARE SAFE FROM TERRORISTS FOR FOUR MORE YEARS! NOW WE DANCE! For the Gloat: You must incorporate a gloating HILLARY CLINTON, who has succesfully paved the way for her metoric rise to to the top of the party (with her new bitch lackey Barack Obama) for 2008. Some eerie foreshadowing of a coming uber-battle between good and evil, with her cackling voice, a puff of smoke, and some thunder and lightning. Where you go with that is all up to you, but please think of a way to stick it in. JOLLY GOOD! TED KENNEDY and MICHAEL MOORE #59 - Posted by: on November 3, 2004 03:27 PMSadly there's just not enough IMW to bitchslap everyone who needs it. I'll trust you're judgement, but let's have at least one of them be mysteriously strangled without a decent clue left behind as to the perpatrator. Other than say, a signed deposition. #60 - Posted by: Sticky B on November 3, 2004 03:53 PMKos. Joshua Micah Marshall. Andrew Sullivan. WONKETTE TAKING IT UP THE ASS! We Are The Champions-Queen. Please create a montage of images to make James Carville cry. #62 - Posted by: rightwingnutjob on November 3, 2004 04:11 PMI'd have to agree with whoever mentioned "America, (Hell) Yeah!" #63 - Posted by: Rob on November 3, 2004 04:17 PMSongs? How about Springsteen's "Born in the USA" or Bon Jovi's "It's My Life", or any song by an artist that supported Kerry, for gloating purposes. Of course, the Team America theme, as suggested earlier, is an excellent choice too. #64 - Posted by: Bob in Feenicks on November 3, 2004 05:12 PM........__|__..................................... Drop da bomb on you.. baby #65 - Posted by: chupic on November 3, 2004 05:14 PMI wanna see some noggies! Nothin' says democracy like a noggy! #66 - Posted by: John on November 3, 2004 05:40 PMOh make John Edwards choke on his own lies! His little "John Kerry is a great American" comment invoked my wrath. #67 - Posted by: American Pitbull on November 3, 2004 06:00 PMIt's a tough choice, but I'm inclined to disqualify any of the celebs in "Team America" because that movie did a fine job of pre-gloating them already. Plus, a gloating won't work against that bloated huckster Moore, given how much profit he made and stands to make on America-/Israel-hating. Also, there's no point in gloating against all those recently-retired Senators; they're washed up. I'd say Soros is the most worthy candidate for ridicule. He's battered but not beaten. He needs to be kicked while he's down. And give him a kick for me too, and all the other Brits (and Asians and Latinos) he bankrupted over the 1990s. #68 - Posted by: David Ross on November 3, 2004 06:29 PM1. Besides the obvious victims (Waffles/Breck Girl, Daschle), maybe Mary Beth Cahill. She's the one that, after the Ohio Secretary of State appeared in person to announce that only 175,000 votes maximum remained to be counted, said that over 250,000 votes had not been counted and that they were all for Kerry. Maybe this is too unknown to parody, but that's up to you, o great Frank. Carville and Lockhart are always good ones, as well as all of the networks and papers who wouldn't declare Ohio for the President even this morning when it was joyfully inevitable. 2. Beautiful Day by U2 is fine (usafirstlady already suggested this). Or if you want something that is obscure, yet at the same time has perfect lyrics for the situation and, incidentally, rocks, try One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces by the Ben Folds Five. #69 - Posted by: shepshep on November 3, 2004 07:12 PMBe careful using songs written and performed by known leftists, Frank they will probably sue you. You should be Doin' the Happy Dance to a song from relatively conservative musicians. Here are some suggestions without having to resort to square dancing to country music: Pat DiNizio, the leader of The Smithereens, is a conservative and he's written great rock songs like "A Girl Like You," "Blues Before and After," "Top of the Pops" and the classic "Blood and Roses." The late-great-Johnny Ramone of punk pioneers The Ramones horrified the lefty burnouts at the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame awards ceremony in 2002 when he said "God Bless President Bush and God Bless America." IMAO readers would love seeing you slam dance to punk classicks like "Glad to See You Go," "I Wanna Be Sedated," or "Blitzkrieg Bop." You haven't heard of Vince Furnier, you know him as his alter ego, the inventor of shock rock, Alice Cooper. Throw down to tunes like "Under My Wheels," "No More Mr. Nice Guy," or the incredibly appropriate (and catchy) "Elected." #70 - Posted by: Scott on November 3, 2004 07:39 PMI say gloat against Michael Moore for wasting all that money to make "Farenheit 911" which he thought would make Bush lose reelection. Gloat against the Dems for raising money from the poor who supported them, then losing so they cannot help the poor like they promised. Gloat against foreigners who thought they should be able to vote in our election since our policy affects them - perhaps Rumsfeld/Chomps could overun France and Germany and make them our minions, so then their people would be US citizens and could vote (of course they'd only get provisional electors in the College). Maybe also gloat about how real estate will be cheap to buy up now that all the DU is moving to Canada. Go 4 more years! #71 - Posted by: humanoverlord on November 3, 2004 08:26 PMIt has to be Ron Reagan Jr. As far as I'm concerned he danced on his father's grave by taking a partisan role in this election. No one would have asked him his opinion if his dad hadn't died. The guy is scum. #72 - Posted by: Kevin on November 3, 2004 08:42 PMHas to be Moore. But put Hillary in there somewhere cause we have to start practicing for 2008. And for the song "Meet the new boss...same as the old boss...." or "rockin in the USA" #73 - Posted by: kate on November 3, 2004 09:42 PMAttack - Walter Cronkite, admittedly a little too easy, but he has had it coming for a long time. Song - Ride of the Valkyrie, "Killed the Daschle, Killed the Daschle...." one last practical joke on DASCHEL, a real real real good one. I'm thinking the band Green Day needs to have their petards hoisted for their craven BDS act. Happy Dance tune would be 'Bring it On Home', Led Zepplin II Album (Pre-Election tune would have been Heartbreaker from the same album) Michael Moore. His fat can be harvested for stem cells. #78 - Posted by: John Nowak on November 4, 2004 10:14 AMAnother Happy Dance song suggestion: "My City was Gone" The Pretenders ...A - O - way to go, Ohio... #79 - Posted by: FormerHostage on November 4, 2004 11:09 AMadamthemadman: agreed. Im normally a big Green Day fan and I even bought their latest album despite the fact that I had already heard American Idiot and knew the CD would be Bush-bashing. It was painful to listen to the lyrics, realizing these guys were making a buck for singing against the administration and not by singing for the sake of entertainment. #80 - Posted by: humanoverlord on November 4, 2004 03:42 PMHOW ABOUT ALL OF THEM! Bush breaks into a therapy session for depressed democraps (depressed b/c they lost the election) and does the happy dance to the tune of... hmm... I dunno, some Rammstein song #81 - Posted by: GREG on November 4, 2004 06:48 PMPost a comment
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