|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy! ![]() Buy funniest book ever! ![]() IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
![]() Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits ![]() Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck ![]() This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
November 05, 2004
In My World: Party!!!
The hooded figure of Karl Rove emerged from the shadows. "The time has come," he intoned. He then tossed off his cloak. "To party!" Music played, and all the Bush administration danced around. Chomps began angrily/happily attacking the furniture. "You're making a mess!" Laura chided. Bush grabbed her and started dancing with her. "And we have four years to clean it up." "I'm glad you didn't fail to win reelection," Rumsfeld said, "I had such a great collection of terrorist skulls, but I want to collect them all!" "And I have so many more evil schemes to plot," Condi said as she smiled wickedly. "Plus Halliburton demands more mindless destruction!" Cheney said. "And I'm starting to like talking to the press," Scott McClellan said, "They don't spit at me as much anymore." "Quiet, everybody, I'm making a phone call," Bush said as he picked up the phone. "Daschle here." "It's Bush. I'm saddened to hear you'll be leaving us." "Thanks. It's been..." "Jackass!" Bush laughed, "Don't let the Capitol door hit you in the ass on the way out!" "We still have to work with each other for a couple more months and..." Bush handed the phone to Cheney. "Tell him what he can do to himself." "Certainly, sir." Bush spotted his daughters. "How are my little angels doing?" "We're drunk!" they answered. "That's my girls!" Condi then walked up to Bush. "All this partying is fine, but let's not forget about terrorism." "I won't," Bush answered, "but where is your blouse?" "I'm looking for it!" Condi answered defensively. "Well, don't worry about terrorism; I've informed our troops to work extra-hard to kill terrorists." * * * * Buck the Marine's commanding officer announced, "President Bush has been reelected." A loud "Ooh-rah!" was heard. "And now the terrorist killing quota has been upped. You all need to kill at least six before you can get lunch." Buck prepped his M-16. "I'm going to kill me ten!" * * * * "This party is getting out of control," Laura warned Bush, "How many times have I told your friends no fireworks indoors?" "I'm sorry, dear, but we like super won!" Bush said. He then opened a window and shouted out, "Who's your president?" "You are!" came back thousands of voices. "Well, don't let it get to your head," Laura stated, "You still have lots of work to do." "And I'll get to it," Bush answered, "but just imagine what all those nuts against me must be doing now." * * * * "Mr. Stevenson, Michael Moore is in the freezer section eating all the pints of Ben & Jerry's!" "Then get a hose and chase him away." The teenager glanced towards the ice cream and shivered. "But I'm scared." * * * * "The Americans reelected Bush!" a terrorist yelled in panic, "I thought we broke their spirit!" "We broke nothing!" a terrorist - probably named Mohammed - exclaimed. There was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" "My name is Buck the Marine and I'm here to kill you all." "Uh... we're not here." * * * * "The press want a statement!" Scott said excitedly, "Can I talk to them? Huh? Huh?" Bush slapped Scott. "No. I'm talking to them. This one is important." Bush walked out of the White House to greet the press. "Hey everybody. Looks like the American people like me and hate you jokers." Bush looked to one reporter. "You from CBS?" "Yes." Bush drew his single-action army and fired at the reporter's feet. "Dance!" When the gun ran out of bullets, Bush kicked the reporter in the head. "Now get out of here." "So do you think you have a mandate?" one reporter asked. "Yes, a mandate to do whatever the hell I want. Yee-haw!" Bush shouted. Bush then pulled out a phone. "Bomb a country... I don't care which - surprise me!" "Are you going to try to unite this divided country?" "Well, I looked into the problem, and found that the reason there is so much division is there are a bunch of 'tards out there who disagree with me," Bush said, "Either they can wise up or I can have the majority who agree with me beat up the minority against me." "Are you now mad with power?" "Pretty much," Bush said as he reloaded his six-shooter. He then fired at the press as they scattered. "Yee-haw!" * * * * The flicker of the T.V. set illuminated a horrible visage. "Yes, celebrate now. These next four years just give me time to grow in power and to plan my way to control of America... and thus the world!" She then laughed a horrible cackle that even scared the demons of hell. TO BE CONTINUED OVER THE NEXT FOUR YEARS... 29 Responses To "In My World: Party!!!"
Oh Yeah. Sweet. #1 - Posted by: Exile on November 5, 2004 11:48 AMI smell a Hillary in the end of this... Delightful! I almost prefer your world to ours. Blenster #2 - Posted by: Blenster on November 5, 2004 11:53 AMMaybe rumsfeld could deliver the coup de grace to arafat in the next IMW? #3 - Posted by: shaggydave on November 5, 2004 11:57 AMFlash cartoons. PLEASE. I can imagine Moore sitting next to a freezer, sobbing into a pint of Ben and Jerry's (and for some reason he sounds like the cartoon dog Droopy in my head), but actually seeing it would be so much better. #4 - Posted by: guttrhead on November 5, 2004 12:09 PMgreat stuff. Love the image of the teen-ager scared of Moore binging on hippie ice-cream. GO BUCK THE MARINE! Danjo #5 - Posted by: Danjo on November 5, 2004 12:18 PMIs anybody ashamed of all the gloating the last couple of days? I was laughing and enjoying it all until I got to the end....the cackle scared me. It's one of those be afraid, be very afraid moments. Hold me, RRN!! #7 - Posted by: DixieDarlin' on November 5, 2004 12:29 PM"Are you now mad with power?" Hahaha. I can tell you're happy about this. #8 - Posted by: Ann on November 5, 2004 12:32 PMWow! That's one party I'm sorry I missed!! #9 - Posted by: jonag on November 5, 2004 12:59 PM"I won't," Bush answered, "but where is your blouse?" "I'm looking for it!" Condi answered defensively. HAHAHA!! How do I get a job in the White House press room? Would I be allowed to help "W" reload 'n stuff? Or could I just help bar the door while he's takin' aim at Helen Thomas? Yeeehaaawwww! #11 - Posted by: LynnGunn on November 5, 2004 01:13 PM*bang* This is the best IMW ever. It just needed Melinda Hawkish giving the CBS guy a wedgie. #13 - Posted by: Ian S. on November 5, 2004 01:19 PMDang it, and I was hoping for a picture of Condi without her blouse on. :( #14 - Posted by: Evil Midnight Poster what Posts At Midnight on November 5, 2004 01:28 PM"a bunch of 'tards out there who disagree with me," BWAHAHAHAHA!! It's funny 'cuz it's true. #15 - Posted by: Brass on November 5, 2004 01:34 PMthis isn't your funniest but i kicks major behind because it makde me laugh...esp the part with him being mad with power and taking out a six shooter...good stuff frank #16 - Posted by: entrepreneur on November 5, 2004 02:19 PMwow, i almost died on my laughter at the micheal moore part hahahahaha im scared hahaha #17 - Posted by: Joey D on November 5, 2004 02:35 PM
"Yes." Bush drew his single-action army and fired at the reporter's feet. "Dance!" When the gun ran out of bullets, Bush kicked the reporter in the head. "Now get out of here." ROTFLMAO! ...but the ending gave me a shiver... #18 - Posted by: ChrTh on November 5, 2004 02:59 PMAlright, where was Barney, and why didn't Condi make out with Scott? #19 - Posted by: Turkeyhead on November 5, 2004 04:08 PMBush handed the phone to Cheney. "Tell him what he can do to himself." Classic. #20 - Posted by: Bob in Feenicks on November 5, 2004 04:21 PMlove it, love it, love it! #21 - Posted by: Laura on November 5, 2004 04:42 PMForeshadowing is our sign of fine literature. #23 - Posted by: LCVRWC on November 5, 2004 05:40 PMBoy, I wish that I had a single-action army... ;-) Good stuff, Frank. #24 - Posted by: LC Trucido on November 5, 2004 06:38 PMBest ever! I esp. liked the Daschle part. #25 - Posted by: nan on November 5, 2004 11:08 PMFrank, y'know I'm a Dem, but the mental pic that gave me of Hilary at the end (of IMW and 4yrs!) just scared the beejeebers out of me! brrrrrr #26 - Posted by: jean on November 6, 2004 01:00 AMEEeeeeeeeuuuuuwwww...Shrillary (shudder)... Is there a dykier, more dour scold alive than she? Rudy in 08! TNS #27 - Posted by: TripleNeckSteel on November 7, 2004 09:23 PMHillary?!? naw too obvious. I'm going with Helen Thomas, Condi's evil twin sister, or maybe even Suha .... #28 - Posted by: Adriane on November 8, 2004 04:51 AMGreat. How am I supposed to get any work done while I'm having erotic fantasies about Condoleeza Rice? #29 - Posted by: J Mann on November 8, 2004 03:46 PMPost a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts
![]()
![]()
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|