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November 19, 2004
Bite-Sized Wisdom: November 19, 2004
* As you all probably know, Bill Clinton opened his presidential library yesterday. Before you make any jokes, no, it’s not just porn. There are also some saxophones. * The building is supposed to represent Clinton's bridge to the 21st century, but it looks like a giant trailer from a trailer park. Expect the whole thing to be knocked over come next Halloween. * Hear about the Vibe awards? Put a bunch of violent rappers in one room and there's a stabbing! I'm shocked - shocked, I tell you! I say some stabbing might liven up the Oscars, but I won't try and tell Chris Rock what's funny. * U.S. forces have captured Al-Zarqawi's headquarters, a place which has funding almost as shady as the Clinton Library. Having confiscated all his equipment, I hear Zarqawi is now left to planning terror on an Etch-a-Sketch. “The CIA is coming! Shake! Shake like you never have before, Omar!” * An Iraqi militant group warned Muslims to skip the country's coming elections, and said anyone who runs for office would be branded an infidel and "punished in the name of God." Wow, rhetoric on elections there is almost getting as bad as it is here. Expect Moveon.org to come in and make the militant group look moderate. * A reporter has been convicted of contempt for not revealing his source. Back in high school, all I'd lose is a letter grade if I tried to pull the same stunt on a report. * Condoleezza Rice is to have uterine fibroid surgery - just to rub her health insurance in all the faces of the uninsured! REPUBLICANS!!!! * Bill Gates is the world’s most spammed person, and there's a whole division dedicated to making sure he only get wanted e-mails. Problem is he's too shy to tell them he really does want a larger penis. * Scientists say that running is a key human characteristic. Are they trying to say that Michael Moore is incapable of being human? * U.S. is once again considering giving the Palestinians aid. If you have a strap on bomb you're not using and would like to donate, contact the State Department. * The cause of Arafat's death may soon be revealed. I'm guessing motorcycle stunt gone bad. * ABC is moving Alias to Wednesday. If you're a Tivo, please take note. * That's the news people. A new adventure of the Hate-Filled Liberal is to come later today. Be honorable, ronin. 20 Responses To "Bite-Sized Wisdom: November 19, 2004"
My first FIRST. #1 - Posted by: kizzdogg on November 19, 2004 07:21 AMfrank, you cheer me up when i get off work, and for that... i thank you.. #2 - Posted by: urban on November 19, 2004 07:29 AMIs somebody actually trying to claim that Michael Moore IS human? #3 - Posted by: CDR Will on November 19, 2004 07:50 AMAnd I think it would be a great idea to have weekly "awards" ceremonies, meetings, what-ever of all the rappers and their fans. Maybe by the end of the year I won't have to put up with my car thumping and vibrating at traffic lights. #4 - Posted by: CDR Will on November 19, 2004 07:53 AMyay ALIAS!!!! right after Lost! 2 JJ shows back to back, i don't know what's better! except that i'll watch them off Tivo and miss the commercials. :) btw, you're so funny. #6 - Posted by: sarahk on November 19, 2004 08:59 AM* An Iraqi militant group warned Muslims to skip the country's coming elections, and said anyone who runs for office would be branded an infidel and "punished in the name of God." I think that this would be the perfect place for "p-Diddy" Combs and his "vote or die" campaign. except it would be "vote and die" I guess. it's an unfair generalization to say all rappers are violent.... just the talented ones #8 - Posted by: jaw shoulder on November 19, 2004 09:28 AMA little more discretion on Dr. Rice's organs, please. In the future, please use a phrase like, "visiting a Lady's doctor" or "undegoing a sensitive feminine adjustment." Does this mean her and George will face a tear-filled, childless future? Is their relationship strong enough to survive this? #9 - Posted by: greg zywicki on November 19, 2004 09:50 AMThey're taking an awful chance with that library design. Down in that part of the country, anything that even looks like a trailer or trailer park attracts tornadoes. A trailer that size would bring one hell of a tornado. #10 - Posted by: Ernie G on November 19, 2004 01:05 PMThe cause of Arafat's death: The Salmon Mousse! #11 - Posted by: Bob in Feenicks on November 19, 2004 01:46 PMI believe Team America contains a song about how arafat died. It goes a little something like... Everyone has AIDS, AIDS, AIDS AIDS And so this is the end of our story My father..AIDS! My sister...AIDS! That reminds me: I miss the Ronin Thought of the Day. #13 - Posted by: on November 19, 2004 06:00 PMDid you know that the PLO once had a terrorist spy with access to the White House? Saed Farouk was a deliveryman for a Maryland Tropicana distributor, and hand-carried his frozen shipments into the building each week after driving the juice into D.C. KoalaBear how can you stand to be so funny? the Gates and Moore ones especially were great. #15 - Posted by: guest on November 19, 2004 10:00 PM"* The building is supposed to represent Clinton's bridge to the 21st century, but it looks like a giant trailer from a trailer park. Expect the whole thing to be knocked over come next Halloween." ROFLMAO #16 - Posted by: Marbleshade on November 20, 2004 01:32 AMYAHOO my Birthday! #17 - Posted by: Joey D on November 20, 2004 02:26 AMRe: Clinton's library: first look at this picture, then look at this one. He didn't get too far from his roots, now did he? LOL!!!! #18 - Posted by: DixieDarlin' on November 20, 2004 08:23 PMYep, Everyone in Arkansas is sick of it, and sick of everyone pointing out that is a giant ugly double-wide. It's a disgusting joke, and I wouldn't mind pushing it over myself. #19 - Posted by: cerebron on November 22, 2004 03:15 AMBlogging is the next generation of the Internet. If you've got something to say that interests somebody else, by golly, then there you have it! It's not about search engine rank or advertising, either. It's about word-of-mouse, and presentation. More here #20 - Posted by: Bloggerman on December 2, 2004 10:40 AMPost a comment
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