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November 22, 2004
In My World: A Giant Trailer of Distorted Memories
"Oh dear, it looks like a giant trailer park," Laura remarked. "Keep it to yourself," Bush told her, "I'm trying to use this as a way to be a uniter, not a divider. Where are Jenna and Barbara?" "There's no way I'm bringing them near that awful man," Laura answered, "This whole thing is just a way for Bill Clinton to rewrite history." "Yeah, I know," Bush exclaimed, "I can't wait to make mine!" Bush then spotted George H. W. Bush. "Hey, pops!" "Hi, son; how are you doing?" "Great. Hey, I just realized: instead of people calling you 'Bush the elder' to distinguish you from me, they can call you 'Bush the one-termer'." H. W. was silent for a moment. "That's great, son." Thunder and lightning ripped apart the air, it began raining, and the wind chilled. They all then turned around to see the horrible visage of Senator Hillary Clinton. "Hello, everyone," she smiled, as if planning to eat her prey. "Evil harpy!" Bush exclaimed and pointed at her. "Stay away from us, evil woman," Laura told her, "We know you care nothing but for power." "That's silly," Hillary laughed, her evil cackle chilling them to the bone, "I haven't even decided on whether to run for President in 2008." "I don't think there's one person in America dumb enough to believe that," Laura said. "Even the Nader voters," Bush added. Bill Clinton then walked up to the group. "Hey, everybody, glad to see you're all here. By the way, where's Jenna and Barbara." "Laura didn't want them anywhere near you," Bush answered. Bill laughed and slapped Bush on the back. "Understandable." He then looked to H. W. "Hey, it's Bush the one-termer! Remember when I beat you in the 1992 election?" "Perot had a bit to do with that," H. W. answered. "Yeah, that Perot was a funny guy," Bill laughed, "Whatever happened to him?" "You better not make a fool of yourself and harm my chanced in '08!" Hillary threatened Bill, "I know where you sleep!" "No you don't," he answered, and then looked to Bush. "So are you going to give a speech about me?" "Uh... yeah," Bush answered as he took out some index cards. "Make sure it's all about me," Bill told him as he led Bush to the podium. "Hey, everybody, I'm the current U.S. President... newly reelected," Bush announced, "but today we're here to honor Bill Clinton, the lucky bastard who happened to preside over relative peace and prosperity. You should have seen the crap I inherited from him. Anyway, he got reelected too, which I guess is significant." Bush chuckled. "He never got a majority of the vote like I did, though." "I got over 50% of the vote," someone called out. "That's great, dad," Bush answered, "Anyway, in the end, Clinton was a complete scumbag... but an affable scumbag." Bush looked hard at his index card. "Or is that supposed to be 'laughable.' Anyway, what he'll always be gratefully remembered for is causing the Republican majority in Congress that lasts to this day." "Great speech!" Bill said smiling as he took the podium. "Was I the only guy in America who liked both Bush and Kerry?" "YES!" answered the crowd. Bill chuckled. "All right then..." 25 Responses To "In My World: A Giant Trailer of Distorted Memories"
First? #1 - Posted by: shepshep on November 22, 2004 08:43 AMWhoever runs against Hitlery in 08 should go to the debates with a cross and a wooden stake. #2 - Posted by: Exile on November 22, 2004 08:49 AMI think garlic helps too. "By the way, where's Jenna and Barbara?" LOL! #3 - Posted by: shepshep on November 22, 2004 08:50 AM"You better not make a fool of yourself and harm my chances in '08!" Hillary threatened Bill, "I know where you sleep!" "No you don't," he answered. Which brings me to my next point: I wonder who the current semen receptacle is? One of the great things about President Bush is that he always seems genuine, but that speech at the Clinton Library sounded so phony. #5 - Posted by: cthulu_mt on November 22, 2004 09:04 AM"Yeah, that Perot was a funny guy," Bill laughed, "Whatever happened to him?" welllll, he's living in Dallas, I've seen him a couple times when i've gone to pick up my hubby from work. It's hard not to giggle. #7 - Posted by: maggie katzen on November 22, 2004 09:33 AMHow can you tell when Clinton is telling the truth? He's been confronted with a DNA sample. 'I feel your pain' I think he meant to say 'panties.' #8 - Posted by: McWert Deglieb on November 22, 2004 10:05 AMBill Clinton then walked up to the group. "Hey, everybody, glad to see you're all here. By the way, where's Jenna and Barbara." "Laura didn't want them anywhere near you," Bush answered. Bill laughed and slapped Bush on the back. "Understandable." ...classic. :oD #9 - Posted by: AWG on November 22, 2004 10:12 AM"Great. Hey, I just realized: instead of people calling you 'Bush the elder' to distinguish you from me, they can call you 'Bush the one-termer'." Mwahahahahaha! #10 - Posted by: ChrTh on November 22, 2004 11:01 AMThunder and lightning ripped apart the air, it began raining, and the wind chilled. They all then turned around to see the horrible visage of Senator Hillary Clinton. "Hello, everyone," she smiled, as if planning to eat her prey. Perfect. Absolutly perfect. #11 - Posted by: Syd Barret on November 22, 2004 12:27 PMDid Hillary leave her pointy black hat at home? #12 - Posted by: jonag on November 22, 2004 12:28 PMMore important, did she arrive my Limo... Or Broomstick? #13 - Posted by: LokiDoki on November 22, 2004 12:58 PMPlbphth! D'oh! I meant to say: "Hey Jonag! More important- Did Hillary arrive by Limo.... Or Broomstick?" Did I mention preview is my friend? (when I am actually smart enough to use it?) {my limo.. Derpy,derpy,derp. Duh! Sorry..} #14 - Posted by: LokiDoki on November 22, 2004 01:06 PM"I got over 50% of the vote," someone called out. The sheer humor in such a simple exchange is magnificent Frank. #15 - Posted by: on November 22, 2004 01:32 PMThis was quite funny, Frank. Good stuff... #16 - Posted by: 007 on November 22, 2004 02:07 PM"No you don't," "All right, then." another Raising Arizona fan.
Excellent, Frank.... excellent. #19 - Posted by: siklilpig on November 23, 2004 01:17 AMHey, it's Bush the one-termer! Good Stuff #20 - Posted by: toothless redneck on November 23, 2004 08:33 AMFrank - "Laura didn't want them anywhere near you," Bush answered. Bill laughed and slapped Bush on the back. "Understandable." He then looked to H. W. "Hey, it's Bush the one-termer! Remember when I beat you in the 1992 election?" Just great, if this doesn't sum up the Clinton years, I don't know what does. : ) #21 - Posted by: Scott Sanburn on November 23, 2004 09:25 AMI almost wet myself. Great stuff! #22 - Posted by: Keith Estabrook on November 23, 2004 10:31 AMIs there any way we can get all of the In My Worlds complied into one single work? That would total own. Vol. 1 is the first term, and Vol. 2 can be the second one. #23 - Posted by: Techie on November 23, 2004 12:45 PMBlogging is the next generation of the Internet. If you've got something to say that interests somebody else, by golly, then there you have it! It's not about search engine rank or advertising, either. It's about word-of-mouse, and presentation. More here #25 - Posted by: Bloggerman on December 2, 2004 10:38 AMPost a comment
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